Surviving Is Just Step One
Author: Cheryl W.
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or any rights to Supernatural, nor am I making any profit from this story.
Summary: By the time Sam figures out that trekking through a forest, looking for a Wendigo, is the last place on God's green earth Dean wants to be, it's too late to turn back. No Slash.
Author's Note: Ok, for all those pacifist folks in the audience, avert your eyes because there is violence ahead. Oh..that's right, you guys watch Supernatural…forget I mentioned anything. Onto more relevant info: After I few reworkings, it seemed to work out best to make this whole chapter all Purgatory flashback. But for those missing our lovely, Sam, the next chapter which includes Sam is written and it shouldn't be too long until I can get it tidied up and posted.
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Chapter 6: To Kill a Monster
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Rule # 6: Sometimes it takes a monster to kill a monster.
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SNSNSN ~ Purgatory ~ SNSNSNSN
Dropping from a tree branch, Dean landed behind six of Gordon's vampires and swiftly beheaded the vampire bringing up the rear. The next second, one of the other vampires charged him from the left. Ducking under the arc of the vamp's crude wooden club, he buried his knife into his opponent's gut. Ripping the blade free of the vampire's flesh, he easily took the head of a third vampire. Then two vamps tag teamed him.
Kicking one in the chest, he sent her sailing backwards even as he sliced the other vampire from navel to neck. Then the final vampire was there, all snarling teeth and swinging club. Blocking the club's descent toward his head with his forearm, Dean sank his knife blade in the vampire's throat. Fluidly pulling the blade free, he one-handedly swept out with his weapon.
The vampire's head joined the others already on the ground.
Not forgetting about the two remaining vampires, Dean rushed the one struggling to regain his feet. Slipping behind his adversary, he grabbed the vampire by the hair, yanked his head back and then sliced his blade from the vampire's right ear to his left. Letting that body drop lifelessly to the forest floor, he stalked toward the last standing vampire. When the vampire seemed to have the good sense to turn and run, Dean quickly closed in the gap between them. He severed her head from her body before she took two steps.
Ten yards away, Gordon Walker stood immobile, had watched the carnage in something near awe but much closer to fear. In his time as leader, he had lost only three soldiers…and every one of them to a horde. But this…watching one man, watching Dean Winchester kill six of his nest singlehandedly with a sick grace and stony precision?! It stirred a human emotion in Gordon that he hadn't felt in a long while: a fear of dying.
His blade dripping with blood and his face and clothing splattered with the same liquid, Dean perceptively turned around to face Walker.
Tightening his grip on his weapon's handle, Gordon acknowledged, "You've upped your game," a hint of pride in this tone. After all, he had mentored Dean…if only for a few short days before Sammy got Dean all turned around on the definition of evil.
"Guess you were right…you and I were born to do this…" Dean nodded his head to the vampire corpses at his feet. Stepping over Gordon's slain groupies, he lazily started to head for Gordon, for a reckoning that had been brewing between them.
"Putting us in the same category…you honor me. Except this…" Gordon panned his hand to indicate the slaughtered members of his nest. "I never honestly thought you had the stomach for this type of dirty work." Taking a measured step toward Dean, he goaded, "Especially since Sammy got you to save that zen-pacifist nest a few years back. Tell me, Sam's not so wholesome anymore, is he? Got further down that dark path than you ever imagined, I know. See people here…they talk. .." he smiled widely but it wasn't kindly, "…with the right motivation."
"You were always good with motivation, weren't you Gordo, no matter how many innocents had to die for you to get your gossip." But even as he condemned Gordon, Dean knew it was the pot calling the kettle black …after all, he was Alistair's star pupil, had scored his own bloody path through Purgatory in his search for Cas.
"Thing about here is…no one's innocent," Gordon reasoned glibly.
Dean snorted. "Like that ever mattered to you."
Walker shrugged. "Thing is, they told me what I already knew to be true: That what I told you about Sam…it wasn't wrong. They say he was …" here Gordon adopted a sneer, "…consorting with the enemy, was becoming one of them, was gearing up to lead the armies of Hell."
Though Gordon had made a good attempt at distracting him by bringing up Sam's days of slumming it with Ruby, Dean still sensed the attack. Pivoting on his heel, he swung his blade twice…and two more members of Gordon's family dropped nearly simultaneously to the ground.
For the first time since he had formed his own pack, Gordon contemplated retreat as an option but when Dean turned again to face him and darkly taunted, "Come on, Gordy. Time to stop stalling," his anger overshadowed his fear.
Raising his knife, Dean pulled on a cocky grin. "I'm been saving the last dance just for you."
"Last dance, huh…" Gordon repeated with grim humor before he threw his club at Dean. When the man ducked, he tackled him to the ground, sought to bury his teeth in Dean's jugular like he once had but this time he wouldn't get interrupted by Dean's evil-incarnate little brother.
But Dean's right fist smashed into his jaw, rocking his head right and started his ears ringing. He left out an inhuman growl as the blade of Dean's knife scored a diagonal path across his back. Then Dean shoved him off of him and lithely gained his feet, but backed off, gave Gordon room and time to lumber to a stand. Grimly, Gordon understood that his earlier thoughts must have mirrored Dean's, that the hunter didn't want the fight between them to be over too quickly. Suddenly it seemed a matter of 'be careful what you wish for' because Dean was proving anything but easy to kill.
With his intimate knowledge of Dean's Achilles heel, Gordon baited as he and Dean began to circle each other, "So you're not gonna admit I was right about Sam…."
"'Cause you weren't," Dean coldly rebuked, hated how close he had come to believing what Gordon…even what his father had said about his brother, that the only way to avert Sam's destiny…was to take his brother's life. Ironically enough, Sam had ended up doing the deed himself. "My brother willingly sacrificed himself to stop the Apocalypse. Can't get any more virtuous than that," pride ringing in his words. But it felt wrong, that he could tell friggin' Gordon how proud he was of Sam…but he had never told Sam that…what with Sam avoiding him for a year and coming back soulless, it had never been the right time. 'And then I was out of time, got teleported to this garden spot.'
Sensing Dean's mind wasn't all on the fight, just like he had intended, Gordon lashed out with the knife he had slid from his pocket. But Dean skillfully leapt out of the knife's trajectory.
Grabbing Gordon's knife-wielding hand, Dean yanked Gordon closer…right into the end of his knife. Then with his knife buried deep in Gordon's chest, he snarled, "You shoulda left Sam alone."
"You shoulda had the courage to do the right thing!" Gordon choked out. As skewered as he was, he couldn't get free but he aimed a punch at Dean's face, which the hunter blocked with his forearm.
"What? Kill you?" Dean purposefully misinterpreted Gordon's words, that the hunter-turned-vampire thought he should have murdered his own brother. 'And how close did I come to doing just that. Too close.' Kicking Gordon in the chest, Dean watched the vampire slid off the knife blade and stumble backwards, barely managing to keep his feet. And he could see the look in Gordon's eyes, that the man…the vampire was coming to accept that he wasn't going to win this battle, had never won a battle yet with a Winchester and he wasn't going to change that record now.
Hand to his bleeding chest wound, Gordon stumbled to the right, fought to stay standing. Though he knew that he wasn't dying from the wound, neither was he going to heal up…not without being fed. And Dean wasn't going to let him recharge, wasn't going to be that much of a good sportsman. "I thought my last good act on earth was to kill Sam..and now you're telling me he's the savior of the world?"
Dean remained immobile, knew Gordon would make his move soon, he always did. "Don't play the martyr card, it doesn't suit you," he contemptuously spat. "You were judge, jury, and executioner….even to your own sister. Tell me….you meet up with her down here...she thank you for murdering her in cold blood," he jeered, bracing for Gordon's reaction.
With a howl of outrage, Gordon attacked, arched his knife for Dean's throat, felt his body slam into Dean's then he was shoved back to stand clear of Dean. In their brief clash, Gordon's knife never drew blood. But Dean's did. Feebly, Gordon reached a hand up to his throat, felt the blood oozing. But Dean hadn't inflicted a death blow.
Taking a guess at what stayed the hunter's hand, Gordon rationalized, "We're not like them….any of them, are we Dean? We're hunters….allies. Know right from wrong. We understand that…sometimes…to kill the monster you have to become the monster. I'm proof of that. And you don't want to risk that, do you? Killing these fangs, all these creatures lurking in the shadow of this place, they are all fair game. But killing me, here, like this, when we should be allies again…that's something different, crosses a line you know you might not come back from. That Sam wouldn't want you to cross, wouldn't want his heroic big brother to become a monster."
In answer, Dean's lips turned up into a cruel smile and the terrible hopelessness in his eyes managed to chill even Gordon as he darkly drawled, "Oh I'm already way beyond the monster stage, Gordon. Redemption isn't in the cards, not for me…" Coldly holding Gordon's gaze, he sentenced, "And not for you. Any final words before I snuff out your soul for good."
Gordon tilted his head, seemed to be contemplating the wonders of the world before he spoke his last words. "Just wondering, Dean. Now that you're the monster, would Sammy have the same mercy on you that you had on him? Or will your 'virtuous' little brother be so disgusted by what you've become that he slits your throat in your sleep. Part of me hopes so."
With a furious growl, Dean abruptly swings his knife, pitilessly takes Gordon's head off. But the black hunter's dark predictions, they continue to unrelentingly echo in Dean's head.
SNSNSNSN ~ Purgatory ~ SNSNSNSN
Benny, with more viciousness than normal, beheaded two vampires, saw Cas taking down two more but thirteen vampires get by them, join Gordon on their very own fox hunt with Dean Winchester cast in the role of the fox.
Taking up pursuit, Benny frantically sought to overcome Dean's pursuers, hated that it took so long before he even managed to waylay two vampires. His thoughts blindly focused on finding Dean before the pack could rip his friend limb from limb, he was determined to end the two quickly, carelessly lashed out. A moment too late, he recognized his misjudgment. By then a third vampire had joined the battle, was arching his knife for Benny's throat and there was no countermove Benny could make in time.
Without warning, a blazing white light emitted from the vampire's eyes and mouth before the now soulless form dropped to the forest floor, allowed Benny to see that Cas had come up behind the vampire. The angel dispatched another vampire in a like fashion. A fifth took off running…but not in the direction Dean had gone.
Benny was about to thank the angel for his timely intervention when Cas harshly reprimanded, "You need to concentration on your opponents. Stay focused!"
To Benny, the angel's advice wasn't only foolish, it was impossible. "Dean's out there alone with a bunch of vampires wanting his hide, so excuse me for not being the master of cold heartedness that you are."
"I care about Dean," Cas disputed tersely, straining to hear the sounds of the other vampires, to determine the location Dean was heading.
"Yeah, sure. You bailed on him to protect him? Real considerate of you," Benny baited because Dean might have given the angel a free pass on his disappearing act, that didn't mean Benny had. No, the angel had left Dean, had known Dean was looking for him, needed him and he didn't go to him. Disloyalty wasn't something Benny tolerated, not toward him and especially not toward the people that he cared about.
Cas didn't bother trying to defend his actions, not to the vampire. He would only defend them to Dean, if Dean would ask him to, but Dean had let his declaration go unchallenged. "It won't do Dean any good if you get yourself killed," Cas imparted, had come to realize the high regard Dean had for the vampire, that it would hurt Dean to lose Benny. And Dean had suffered enough emotional torment.
'At my hands and at the hands of others,' Cas sorrowfully qualified and he would see to it that Dean didn't endure more. It was that vow that had him trailing along with Dean, looking for a passage way out of Purgatory that he had no intentions of taking. Because Dean needed him there with him, but more importantly, Dean wanted him there, at his side. Just like Dean wanted Benny with him.
And Cas couldn't deny Dean much.
But Benny's current carelessness, it had almost caused him to fail in his duty to Dean.
Stabbing a finger toward Cas, Benny heatedly retorted to the angel's lecture, "Yeah and it won't do Dean any good if he gets himself killed by a vengeful pack of vamps."
"Dean's a survivor," Cas steadfastly declared, needed to believe that, was the reassurance he clung to the most, even here.
"Dean's a survivor," Benny repeated back in anger. "That's all you got to say. He could be dead right now…" And Benny had never had the angel's wrath directed his way, not until that moment, until Cas was suddenly in his personal space, the angel's blue eyes nearly freezing his blood, if blood still warmly flowed in his veins.
"Dean's not dead," Cas growled, would not even entertain that thought. Ever. And he would not allow Benny to speak like Dean was.
"Geez, you two need to shut up!" Dean lowly commanded as he ran out of the dense forest to the right of his traveling companions, didn't notice that both angel and vampire inhaled a deep breath of relief at his reappearance. "I just lost the vamps on my butt, I do not want the rest of the neighborhood to come knocking."
Head snapping right at the sound of Dean's voice, Benny uttered a "Thank God," before he stepped away from Cas, unleashed a wide smile and engulfed Dean in a joyous hug. "Brother, I thought you were dead."
Returning the hug, Dean gave Benny a companionable pat on the back. "I've been dead a couple of times before…but not today."
Instead of releasing Dean, Benny threw a chummy arm over Dean's shoulders and pulled the man close as they began heading in the opposite direction that the vamps had gone.
Watching as the two friends walked away, Cas knew that the bitter feeling in his stomach was called jealousy. Petulantly, he wanted to point out that Dean was not Benny's brother. That he was Dean's friend long before Benny even knew Dean Winchester existed.
But he remained silent.
After all, it was partially his own fault that Dean's faith and friendship were now bestowed on Benny instead of on him. Though his actions were for purely selfless reasons, had been all in an effort to keep Dean safe, the fact remained that he had heard Dean's prayers to him, day after day, and had not come to the man, had left Dean alone and vulnerable.
And that was when Benny found Dean.
It couldn't simply be chance that had the one vampire, probably the one soul in Purgatory with intact morals, crossing paths with Dean Winchester. Had to have a higher meaning that the vampire had been told of a way out for Dean, could offer Dean hope. But still Cas had had his doubts. Though he had seen Benny protect Dean before, he had thought it was all in the name of self-interest, specifically: Dean being Benny's one and only way out of Purgatory.
Until today, until the vampire had been willing to sacrifice his own life, even Cas' life, to ensure Dean lived. Benny had had no ulterior motive when he had told Dean to run, had simply only cared that Dean live, that the man he had come to think of as family survive.
It was strange proof that Cas' own prayers had not gone unanswered. That, while he did not answer Dean's prayers, his own entreaties to God were not met by such deaf ears. Because he had prayed nearly unceasingly for Dean's safety, for the man who he had defied heaven for to be protected.
He just never thought God would answer his request by sending a vampire to Dean's side.
"Cas, you coming?" Dean called, having halted his and Benny's forward motion to turn back, beckon the angel to his side.
Cas didn't need further prompting, was instantly at Dean's side. Then the threesome continued on.
"Gordon, is he…" Cas asked, would go on his own private hunting trip if the vengeful vampire was not dead by Dean's hands.
There was almost a glint of sorrow in Dean's eyes as he nodded his head, signifying the leader was gone.
Puzzled by Dean's regret, Cas remarked, "He used to be a friend?"
"Friend's a bit strong but … we believed in the same things once upon a time," Dean replied before he sighed. "And look where those convictions took us. Down paths no good man travels."
And Cas wanted to give Dean comfort, offer him forgiveness, tell him that his righteousness hadn't been lost but he was the last being who had the right to speak of righteousness after all he had done. All the harm he had inflicted on Dean, regardless of his good intent.
So he let silence reign. Hoped someday, someone might be able to assuage the guilt Dean carried for his sins, real and perceived. But for now, it had to be enough that Dean had two protectors who would volunteer to travel down the dark roads now so Dean didn't have to.
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TBC
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Thanks for reading and for the wonderfully encouraging words from my lovely reviewers!
I hope this chapter wasn't a chore to read since Sam was absent. But like I mentioned before, Sam will be back in the next chapter, which I hope to have posted without too much delay.
Have a great day!
Cheryl W.
