"It's not about money. It's about…sending a message. Everything burns!"- The Joker, July 18, 2008

Chapter Synopsis: While Lola's away, Lyle will play...


"A week has passed since our family reunion. The time to diagnose Lyle is almost here, but it seems fate had something else in store for me…"

Scene transition to Lola's bedroom, she's just sitting on her bed idly until her cellphone rings. She picks it up and receives a call that will change the Loud family's lives forever.

"Hello?"

"Sunshine?"

"Wait, Linky, is that you?"

"Yeah, I have terrible news to share with you."

"What is it?"

"Pop-pop has popped."

"Excuse me?"

"I was trying to put a humorous spin on it to soften the blow, just like Luan would have done, but I guess there's no way around this. Our grandfather, Albert, has died."

I drop the phone in shock.

"Lola? You still there?"

"Yes…"

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but he wanted us to be at his funeral."

"No, I understand. I'll be right over."

The phone disconnects.


I leave my room. My family notices my gloomy demeanor.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Alexa asked

"I have terrible news to share with you. My grandfather has died."

The rest of the family gasps in shock!

"Exactly. So, I'm going to be gone for a day to go to his funeral."

I lean over to Alexa and whisper this.

"Alexa, I'm putting you in charge of the house while I'm gone. You're going to keep watch on Lyle for me and see if he's up to anything bad. Tell me if anything happens, ok?"

"Yes, mom."

"Well, goodbye…" I say dejectedly as I leave the house

"Well, I'm going to my room." Lyle said

"Likewise."

Both Lyle and Leif enter their respective rooms.


Meanwhile, Lola arrives at the cemetery where the service is being held. She's wearing a black dress, instead of her usual pink for the dreary occasion. She sits alongside her family as the funeral director begins the service.

"We are gathered here today to remember Albert…"


Screen cut to Leif's room. It seems he's sleeping, and we get to peek inside his dreams. Upon entering, we see a room comprised of intestines, as he walks all the way to the back, where a kid in a spider-mech and a white pearl-like object reside.

"Leif! Are you surprised? It's me, Lyle. I assist only the strong and able! That's Lyle. You look pathetic! The Apple Of Enlightenment has already made a prediction… but I won't let what the Apple Of Enlightenment predicted take place. You will be beaten by Lola. Lola will be stronger, a more powerful entity than any other! Why? 'Cause of me. I was led by Lola, and now I'm here. The Apple Of Enlightenment couldn't predict this. Mistress Lola. No, Lola is no longer the wielder of Good. She has become the embodiment of Good itself… which she cannot control on her own. She is the Good power."

The battle begins. Leif has barely managed to defeat the Heavily Armed Lyle.

"I understand you are already claiming to be a hero. Well it's a gazillion years too early for anyone to oppose Lola! You must feel pretty stupid to keep fighting without even knowing what Lola looks like! If you were to ever see Lola, you'd be so petrified with fear, you'd never be able to run away! That's how scary it is! So, do you want me to turn off the "Angel's Machine"? Well prepare to be amazed!"

Lyle turns off the Angel's Machine, revealing a distorted white mass trying to take form.

"So, isn't this terrifying? I'm terrified, too. Lola can't think rationally anymore, and she isn't even aware of what she's doing now. Her own mind was destroyed by her incredible power. What an all-mighty idiot! That's what you are! And you… you will be… just another meal to her!"

The battle continues. Lyle leaves the battle.

Leif tried to call for help!

But nobody came.

Lola's defenses became more stable!

Leif cannot grasp the true form of Lola's attack!

Leif takes 255 damage!

Leif attacks!

...Just missed…

Leif cannot grasp the true form of Lola's attack!

Leif takes 256 damage, and bursts into tears!

"I-t h-u-r-t-s…. i-t h-u-r-t-s!"

Leif tried PSI Shield β!

Leif can grasp the true form of Lola's attack!

Lola used PSI Rockin' ω!

The attack got reflected back!

The attack got reflected back!

Leif got hurt and collapsed!

"L-e-i-f… I'm h-a-p-p-y…."

Leif awakes from his nightmare.

"Whoa, that was terrifying…" Leif acknowledged


Screen transitions over to Lyle, who's watching TV, when suddenly the signal changes to 2 Arabic men somewhere talking. It appears that they are somewhere in the UAE. Luckily, they were kind enough (or stupid enough) to provide English subtitles.

This is what they said:

Hadhih fatwaa min Allah nfsh! 'arsalat alkhanazir al'amrikiat alkhabithat 'iikhwanina almuslimin 'iilaa aldhabhi, walakun alan, wanahn ahya'! Daeish aistislah khilafatan jadidatan dakhil alshrq alawst. Alan, bma 'ana 'iikhwanina almuslimin qad nasuu alqurana, daeunaan nadhkiruhum ...

Waeindama marat al'ashhur almuqdasatu, thuma qutil almushrikin 'aynama wajadata lahum waqamuu bialqabd ealayhim wahisaruhum waljulus fi antizarihim fi kli makan min kaminin. Walakun 'iidha kan yanbaghi ealayhim altuwbatu, 'iiqamat alsalati, wa'iieta' alzakati, walsamah lahum aldhihaba fi tariqihim. Fi alwaqiea, Allah hu ghafur rahimun. Alquran alkarim tse-khms

Bina' qubalat dhalik. 'Afrad al'usrat aladhin hum murtadun lilah yakun sharaf qtl!

Daeuna ndhkrkm, 'iikhwanina wa'akhawatuna fi al'aslah. al'islam lays din salamin, bal hu din alhrb! Marasiam Allah wadha! sayuf Allah yaqtae kl eadui al'iislam. Almjd lilh!

At this point the UAE police find them and arrest them on terrorism charges. Which is hilariously broadcasted worldwide.

Alexa notices this and asks Lyle what's happening.

"Oh, it's 2 chuckleheads trying to give Americans a history lesson in Islam…I think."

"Hmm…"


Leif heard some of the broadcast that those Arabic men were saying and makes a call.

"Yes? DHS, state your name and business."

"This is Leif Loud at 1432 Lacrimal Lane in Royal Woods, Michigan. I overheard my son, Lyle, hear a strange broadcast on TV. It sounded like 2 Arabic men trying to recruit more jihadists. I think my son was radicalized by watching the terrorists' broadcasts."

"Is this the UAE broadcast?"

"Yes."

"Ah, we've been trying to catch those 2 nuisances. They're not dangerous. They're just wannabe terrorists trying to join ISIS. But we razed the group so that only tiny splinter factions are left. Still, we're going to send someone to check it out."

The police arrive and begin to interrogate Lyle. They eventually give Leif the good news.

"Well, it seems like Lyle doesn't have any sympathy with any terror group, so he hasn't been radicalized."

"Whew, that's a relief." Leif sighed.

The police leave.

"I can't believe that bastard called Homeland Security on me! How can he lump me in with those subhuman savages! As if I could be a terrorist!" Lyle said in a huff

"But he just wanted to make sure you're safe, and to make sure you won't hurt others."

"I hate you, Leif Loud! I hope you burn in Hell!"

"Oh dear…"


Lola eventually makes it back home.

"So, Alexa. Tell me everything."

"2 wannabe terrorists tried to recruit people into ISIS, and Leif thought Lyle had been radicalized by them, so he called DHS to check it out."

"Oh my god…"

"Lyle hates Leif for that, I even think I saw him look up honor killings on the internet, but I'm not sure if that was a hallucination or not."

"Honor killings?! That's it, we need to diagnose him, NOW." I urged


Preview

"Well, you look physically fit, now for your mental checkup. Due to this, I will ask a few questions."

"I plead the 5th!"

"I'm not a cop, and all of this will be covered under doctor-patient confidentiality."

"Ok. Ask me anything, doc."


Author's Note: Calling those two wannabes terrorists is an insult to actual terrorists. If they were actually inducted into the jihadist groups, their first order would be to suicide bomb a building, but these guys are so pathetic that they'll mess it up somehow. Anyway, the gist of what they're saying is a call to arms for their Muslim brothers and sisters to form a neo-caliphate, as the one ISIS made had already been destroyed. Next is a generic hate speech saying "Allah akbar" and "death to America" while reciting the sword verses from the Quran as justification. Lastly, they say that Islam is a religion of war and that Allah's sword will kill all the infidels. You know, typical jihadist Islam speeches. They got arrested by the UAE's police force, so now, us westerners laugh at these two. Some people have even made memes of their arrest.

The point is, because of these idiots, Leif and Lyle's terrible relationship has gotten worse, and I don't think it can get much lower...