Chapter 18 – Spirit Guide


All most people knew about the Void Lords was that they could be a powerful foe. They harnessed the power of shadow, where all dark things lurked, but other than that, details of the Void and its Lords was obscure to most. Thankful of this for the time being, Sarah did not divulge the Void's current threat in Draenor to Lukha and Umrii. It was not Sarah's place to say anything. At least not until there was something concrete and a plan formed. In truth, she still remained uncertain of exactly what awaited them and was relieved when the two dranaei had not pressed for more information of Sarah's communication with the naaru. There was an urgency however, and she needed to work fast.

Unable to speak of her personal predicaments to them, Sarah kept what A'dal had revealed to the absolute minimum. She informed them only that she now knew how to control her flare and that the "gift" bestowed upon her enabled her to heal and protect others. So, in keeping up appearances, tired though she was, Sarah insisted on taking Ocel home. She thanked Lukha for watching him during her visit to Shattrath and Umrii, for assisting her and Drew with reaching the naaru. She needed to progress things and that meant speaking privately with her best friend, or rather, with his spiritual hitch-hiker, for a clearer picture of things.

Once Ocel was fed and changed, he was ready for an afternoon nap. Leaving the nursery door slightly ajar, she moved through to the living room where Drew sat, waiting patiently. He glanced up and stood when she entered the room.

He had known her far too long to be so easily duped by what she'd told, or rather didn't tell Lukha and Umrii. The minute he crossed the room and folded his arms round her, her tears started. "Tell me everything," he said, burying a kiss in her hair and holding her protectively. It took her a few minutes to regain some composure. Gently, he led her back to the sofa.

She was fighting a feeling of guilt confiding in him. Khadgar should have been hearing this first. But, he was in Dalaran, seeing to important matters himself, concerning the Void. As it was, the monumental pain and fear she felt was overwhelming. She desperately needed an outlet, and that outlet was Drew, her still, faithful puppy. The words came tumbling out in a deluge, punctuated by her wracking sobs. Even to her own ears she sounded like a rambling mad woman.

Drew listened, silently, allowing her to unburden herself. With each word, his heart took a beating. His friend had been brutally altered, restructured beyond what any of them had realised. He could feel her pain as she told him of the deeper consequences having gone into the Twisting Nether.

Why had all this not been explained to her before she offered herself as a sacrifice? Would she have then turned aside from it perhaps? Would she have left Illidan floating in the Twisting Nether? She had gone in prepared to die, yet had emerged infertile and immortal. This was bizarrely a million times worse to her. It was on the other hand, extraordinarily difficult for him to weigh up what was the worst ultimatum. The cold harsh reality was that this 'fantasy' world took what it wanted, however it wanted from whoever it wanted. You were chewed up and spat out according to Azeroth's needs, and left to deal with it as best you could. It was far removed from the happy, magical, mystical world on the computer screen.

Her fingers wrung his sleeve as she worried about how she was going to tell Khadgar. She put forth scenario after scenario, becoming more distressed with each one. Drew felt helpless. All he could do was hold her and let her pour it all out. Finally, she quieted and sat, her shoulders hitching every now and again as the sobs gradually receded.

He struggled for something to say, but he had to offer some comfort. "Sarah," he said softly. "Khadgar loves you. I have never seen anyone look at someone the way he does you. He eagerly accepted the fact you were half demon hunter, did he not? He looked beyond the tattoos because he was so relieved to have you back, with him. He was broken when he thought he'd lost you."

She trembled in his arms, sniffing back renegade tears. Drew sighed. "As for - no more children... I – I cannot even begin to understand what this feels like for you." He instinctively held her closer. "But, I do know you are still an amazing person and it doesn't make you any less the woman who Khadgar fell in love with. He will protect you and Ocel more fiercely than he has defended anything in his life. Being a family was not a condition of his love Sarah. I -I don't know what else to say other than, no matter what, I love you, many people do, will continue to and no-one will love you more than Khadgar."

Quietly, he pondered on her immortality. Combined with the fabled fountain of youth, immortality was the ultimate goal man was searching and striving for - their increase in longevity being the bottom rung of the ladder. The constant progress, revising, restructuring, researching in medicine and science was not just to find cures for all diseases and ailments, no, that was merely the tip of the iceberg so-to-speak. Drew firmly believed it was more to do with perfecting the human condition. Although many would deny it, the true goal was eternal life. To put humans up there with the gods. To become God.

And here, in Azeroth, within the space of a heartbeat, his best friend had unwittingly achieved it. With it came the horrible reality that she was amongst the few. Her loved ones would wither and pass beyond this world, leaving her to endure the pain of their loss, endlessly. Joy would become just a memory. Would she ever feel love again, the likes of which she had now? Or would she be too scared to try, for fear she would have to endure the pain of losing it yet again? Would guilt for living, over-run every other emotion? Some may consider immortality an enviable condition. But, listening to Sarah's hypothesis, it wasn't. It was harsh. Cruel. An eternal imprisonment. Mortals, destined to grow old and die, were perhaps, the lucky ones. There were just no words of comfort he could offer, other than to reassure her that he loved her, always would.

They sat for a while, in quiet contemplation. Sarah was awarded exiguous relief, but that in itself was something. Now, wrapped in Drew's arms, although the pain was still there, she started to feel a little calmer at least. Gently, she pushed herself up from his embrace. "You are also part of the puzzle, or I should say, your guest spirit is."

Drew hitched himself up. A flash of concern flickered over his face. "H-how?"

"A'dal told me that the spirit was involved in all this and I should communicate with it. I guess it is our spirit guide."

"But how? And are you saying it's ... part of the problem, or the solution?"

"A'dal only said it was part of it. Which way, I do not know. But I need to try and communicate, Drew. May I?" she asked holding out her hands.

He shifted again, unease weaving its way through his body. He resigned himself to the fact that it was necessary, and may aid in stopping the threat which now hung over them. With a deep sigh, and still trembling, he took her hands in his.

Her fingers gripped him tightly as a jolt blasted through her, so powerful it almost pushed her back against the armrest. Distantly she heard Drew cry out. He too had experienced the sudden blast of power. Their hands were knitted so tight together their knuckles were turning white, trembling. The pain from their fingers digging into each other's flesh was starting to register, but then it was blown to the four winds.

They watched, eyes wide, as shimmering, golden, empyrean wisps, exuded from Drew's body; twisting, dancing around the couple and stretching out and upwards. Millions of minute particles like star dust, migrated into the centre of the expanding wisps. A hypnotic display swam before their eyes, spinning ever faster. The celestial manifestation continued to amplify, growing brighter, pulling in on itself, drawing all the light to form a central, vertical pulsing beam. A symphonic collision of the elements blended with the sweet chime of the naaru and hummed all around, escalating, building in conjunction with the spinning brightness.

In the blink of an eye, the light intensified to blinding before it shrank and imploded, the suction and corresponding pop almost ear-shattering. Both Sarah and Drew instinctively pulled themselves into each other.

The silence was suddenly deafening. Both exhaled, giving way to short sharp breaths. Sarah opened her eyes, keeping her head down as she tried to gauge what had just happened. "You okay?" she whispered.

Drew swallowed, but his mouth was dry. "Yeah. You?"

"Please, do not break your contact." A third voice said from their left. It was all it took for them to cling tighter to each other, with their breathing hitched yet again. The voice laughed, softly. "Just keep holding hands. You can relax though."

It took a few moments for the couple on the sofa to do just that. "Together," Sarah whispered, lifting her eyes to Drew's. He nodded.

Looking up, they were greeted by the transpicuous figure of a male elf. They stared as the body densified, taking on hue and form. "Do not fear me," he said. "I will not harm you."

Sarah started at the sound of Ocel crying from the nursery. She made to stand but the elf held out his hand to stop her. "My son needs me," she protested.

The elf drew his hand back, touching his forefinger to his lips. Keeping his eyes on her, he fanned out his fingers, then drew them closed, whispering, "Sleep, Ocel."

Drew clasped Sarah's hand as he felt her tense when the elf uttered her son's name.

"He sleeps again," the elf said. "Do not worry, he is safe."

Sarah continued staring at the figure in front of her. "Y – you used magic on my son?"

The elf's full lips split into a charismatic smile. "No, it is merely spiritual, a calming influence, nothing more. The boy is fine, I assure you. I am no sorceror."

She stared at the elf, questioningly. He merely smiled at her. There seemed to be no threat. Gradually, she relaxed. "Who are you? Why do you possess my friend?" she asked.

The elf turned his green eyes towards Drew. "My name is Camnath Sunspear. I am - was, from Silvermoon City in Quel'thalas." His eyes never left Drew's.

Sarah observed the exchange between them and a memory, distant, hazy, tugged at the edges of her mind. "Camnath," she murmured. "Your name is familiar, yet I do not ..."

Drew involuntarily squeezed her fingers. He knew. A certain blood elf demon hunter spoke of this man aplenty on the last night before Drew returned home. Unable to break eye contact with the ebony-haired elf, he swallowed, nervously. "He is Tiene's husband," he whispered.

It was then Sarah recalled Tiene had spoken his name when they were all camped in Aszuna. She had said Drew reminded her of someone called Camnath. Glancing between the two men she could see the physical similarities.

Camnath nodded towards Drew. "Do not feel uneasy. You offered Tiene comfort and love when I could not. I am glad she found someone like you. She was a passionate woman and I did not begrudge her affection from another when she needed it."

Drew struggled to remain composed. He had been very fond of Tiene and her story had touched him deeply, but faced with her husband, benevolent spirit or not, was unnerving. He felt his eyes brimming and tore his gaze from the elf to try suppress the sadness bubbling just below the surface.

Sarah had been very fond of Tiene, and had been filled with a heartfelt sorrow when she'd heard that she had taken her life to be with someone dear to her. Arcaena had not divulged it was her husband however. It seemed so much more poignant now that he stood in front of her. Inwardly she smiled, albeit briefly. These female demon hunters were good at keeping such secrets. She sensed Drew was struggling however, so she tried to push things forward. "Why are you here?" she asked Camnath, fighting back the sadness.

The elf shifted and turned his attention to her. "To help," he answered simply. "I know that of which you face in the coming days."

"The Void? In days?" she said, perplexed by the imminence of certain doom.

"Yes."

Sarah looked at Drew. His eyes darted nervously back and forth from the man whose wife he'd been intimate with. An understandable discomfiture, she reasoned. She held onto his hand tighter and looked back at Camnath. "Why have you chosen Drew?"

The sin'dorei smiled winsomely but did not elaborate. His eyes dropped to their hands. "Please do not break contact, or I will be reabsorbed into you before I have had a chance to tell you what it is you need to know." They tightened their grip. Camnath continued. "We are but captains of the ship, so-to-speak, Sarah. We are the beacons."

"I don't understand." Sarah said.

"Did A'dal not explain?" Camnath asked.

"She only said "You will be drawn to the Light as it is drawn to you". I do not understand, no. She was somewhat enigmatic - or maybe it is just me who, simply doesn't understand. I asked if I was to call Azeroth forth again but she said no. Azeroth drew the Void to us in the first place."

"Yes, she did, albeit unintentionally. Every action has consequence, even when that action is done in good faith and with honorable intentions." His eyes wandered round the room, taking in his surroundings. He wore an expression of approval. Turning his attention back to his captive audience, he continued. "We cannot exist without mobocracy, Sarah. All good must be balanced by evil. If only one exists then there will be obliteration, nothingness. The Void wishes to drain all that is good in the world, all that is pure, true, wholesome. If it succeeds, and only evil reigns, Azeroth will be no more. She will be pulled apart, piece by piece."

Every action has consequence, even when that action is done in good faith and with honorable intentions, Sarah mused. That was exactly where she found herself now. That being the case, whatever she did next would also have consequence, and what, pray tell would that entail this time?

"Fear not Sarah, you will know what to do when the time comes," Camnath said.

"I doubt it! This sounds so much bigger than what I have done already, and keep in mind, I was not alone, others helped."

"As others will do again, but it will not be the titans who aid you this time. In truth, it will be something much more powerful. But, the Void's stratagem however, has already been put into play. We must act fast. To do that, we need you and the demon elf."

"Illidan? Because of his connection with the naaru?"

"Yes."

"You say 'we.' A'dal told me you would lead us to another like yourself." she said.

Camnath looked back at Drew. "I will, but with your help."

Drew's brow furrowed. "Me? I know little if anything about this Void or spirits –"

"You know Bernie." Camnath said.

Drew stared at him, riveted. The slow dawn of realisation was not a particularly joyous event. This spirit had invaded him in Edinburgh, had been inside him when he was with Bernie, which meant... He shook his head, he did not want to even think about that.

Camnath chuckled. "Do not worry on that account. I am in effect, an intangible entity. I feel emotion yes, but I cannot erm...experience certain things."

Drew's face flushed. "You read minds though, I see."

"Only yours, for you are my host." The revelation provided no comfort or reassurance. "Together, Drew, we will find her." Camnath concluded.

"Why? She used me to get here, that was all." Drew was instantly defensive. The tension passed to Sarah who threw him a sympathetic smile.

"No. The girl does like you, more than that actually, I assure you. But, she was also driven."

A few moments passed in which time Sarah started to piece some things together. Her hand tightened around Drew's. She looked at her best friend, the smile curving her mouth now an indication of her understanding. That smile conveyed the message to Drew.

He looked up at the elf again. "Bernie is the other host, isn't she?" His voice held a note of defeat.

Camnath nodded. He crossed his arms over his chest, a knowing look flashed in his eyes and his mouth twitched at the corners.

"And the spirit?" Drew asked, knowing the answer already. Why do I even ask the obvious? he thought. Camnath simply raised an eyebrow and grinned. Drew nodded. "Tiene." With his free hand, he ran his fingers through his hair and flopped against the sofa backrest, still holding Sarah's hand. "That explains some things," he said, more to himself than to them.

"Prepare yourselves for a surprise when you see her," Camnath said. "She is no longer as you saw her last, she is now sin'dorei, as she was born to be, and beautiful beyond words." His eyes misted over as he thought of her.

"The girl in the black dress with the butterflies –" Sarah said suddenly. Looking up she noted the elf had tensed. His eyes avoided hers. She did not mention any more about the memory she had visited during her first glimpse of Drew's "visitor" for she now recalled the feeling of hostility between Camnath and the platinum haired man. It appeared it still hit a raw nerve. She changed the subject. "If we break contact, does that mean we can never see you like this again?"

The sin'dorei moistened his mouth with the tip of his tongue before answering. "No. When you connect like you are now, I will materialise again. But, I ask you to only call me forth if it is truly necessary."

"Why?"

"We are creatures of the Light, but unlike your gift, it is only borrowed. Even within Drew's body I am still part of the Nether but if I am summoned into the real world like this too often, my spirit will weaken and intersperse, after which I will be of no use to you, nor to Azeroth."

She was the one to avoid eye contact now. "My gift!" she murmured, drawn back into her earlier despondency.

"Sarah," Camnath's voice was soft. He hunkered down, facing her. She lifted her eyes to him. "I can hear your conversations when I am travelling within Drew," he said. "I am aware of what was discussed before you called me forth. As such, I want you to consider something. You see your newfound immortality as a curse, but imagine it from my point of view." He faltered and his voice trembled at that point. "I can never, nor ever will, be able to hold or love my Tiene again the way I used to. Yes, we embrace, but it is merely gesture, a memory of gesture even, it is not tangible. You, as an immortal will always have that ability. You will be able to feel your loved ones, to share a hug, a kiss, to hold hands, to make love. These wondrous things, we will never know again.

"It may seem a daunting, lonely, even frightening prospect right now, especially as you think about those in your life today and how they will fare throughout the years. But hear me when I say, to die is no more a blessing than it is to live forever. You cannot even physically hold your heart's desire in the Nether, you just play out memories, act the part, and we have to work hard at holding on to those memories too, because when they fade, so do we. And if we wander the Nether for too long and our memories fade, we simply become sorrowful, empty, aimlessly floating ethereal beings."

"But you can be reborn! You can meet up again," she said, desperately voicing what she hoped would be the truth and trying to keep her own pain and that of his from surfacing in its entirety.

He lowered his head, caught up in the longing and the pain. "Too long on the other side and -," he sighed, looking back at her, " – even if we are reborn, we may never find each other again or know of who we once were, or of how fiercely we loved each other, fought or prayed together. In many ways, it is more frightening to leave the Nether than it is to remain in its grasp. So, is death a blessing? No, it is not." He paused again. When his eyes locked with Sarah's once more, his smile returned. "I sense you however will be alright, Sarah. There will always be love around you. It will be in many guises and come and go, as do the years, but it will always be replenished."

She stared at her hand still locked with Drew's. Her own pain was still very much to the fore, but she could also understand what it was Camnath and Tiene faced. They too had uncertainty ahead of them. She looked up and studied the man before her. No wonder Tiene fell in love with you, she thought. Everything about you is beautiful. "And what happens to you and Tiene once we battle the Void?" she asked.

Camnath took a deep breath and stood tall again. He glanced between the two of them, before turning his eyes to the window, to the world outside. After a moments contemplation, he faced them and answered, "Then, hopefully, we will have served our purpose and we will leave you be, to live your lives as intended."

And there it was - uncertainty again, but with a note of finality. None of it had allayed her fears, her concerns or eased the pain. Perhaps it may have even intensified them. "I - I hear what you are saying Camnath, but still, the thought of losing..."

"Sarah! What is going on?"

Drew and Sarah flinched at the sudden interruption. Their eyes moved to the door. There stood Khadgar, his eyes hooded, tired. Sarah stood, breaking the contact with Drew. She gasped, her face full of tribulation as Camnath's spirit dispersed absorbed once more inside her friend. Her heart was hammering - she could hear it pounding in her ears. "I didn't hear you come back," she stammered pathetically looking back at Khadgar.

The Archmage held her gaze for a moment then it drifted to Drew. He didn't answer, his expression was unreadable as he turned cold steel eyes back to her.

Drew cleared his throat and rose from the sofa. "Khadgar, we need to talk to you about ..."

"Drew, if you don't mind I wish to speak with Sarah." The Archmage moved further in to the room. "Alone." His voice was low, but there was a definite undertone which informed Drew, Khadgar was not in the mood for visitors and it was time to go.

He glanced at Sarah, reluctant to leave and yet knowing there was no choice. She nodded and gave him a brief smile. He moved passed Khadgar, mumbling a salutation. The steel eyes locked with his, but no exchange was made otherwise.

Sarah stood, lightly wringing her hands, glancing past Khadgar's shoulder until she heard the closing click of the front door. Her eyes drifted back to the familiar grey orbs. "How was your day?" she asked, quietly chastising herself for trying to make meaningless small talk with the one man with whom silence should be comfortable.

In this instance, it was anything but. Her emotions were still in turmoil and today's revelations were not something she would be able to discuss easily with him. Her brow furrowed and she blinked rapidly. It was taking an immense effort for her not to cry again.

Khadgar walked over to the sideboard and poured some wine. He handed her a glass, she accepted with a whispered thank you. She watched from under her lashes as he emptied his glass in one and dragged the back of his hand across his mouth. She continued watching as he refilled his glass and repeated the process one more time.

His eyes locked on her. They swam in a pool of a million emotions, ebbing and flowing constantly shifting that she knew not what he was thinking. It was unbearable. "Talk to me," she pleaded.

He scoffed and turned back towards the sideboard. She followed him over and placed her hand on top of his as he reached for the wine bottle again. "Please," she said. "Don't shut me out."

He guffawed. Taking a moment to compose himself he then turned to face her. His eyes held her, almost boring into her. "Don't shut you out," he laughed again, shaking his head. "The irony is Sarah, I am trying to shut you in. To keep you safe. You and Ocel. Yet, I come home to find you trying to escape."

She shook her head. "What? Escape? No, you have..."

"Things are different now!" In that moment his eyes changed, softened, almost pleading. He pressed on, a note of deperation in his voice. "I – I have to protect you and our son. We face a foe who can unleash a truly apocalyptic series of events, and I feel – " His voice cracked. "Helpless."

She put down her glass and placed her hands on the sides of his face. This was not like the man she knew. So despondent. He held her gaze for a moment, then turned away, crossing the room to where she had sat with Drew. He stood, staring at the sofa, his back to her, shoulders heaving. "What was going on here?" His voice had hardened once more.

She swallowed. She could not refuse this opportunity to tell him, excruciatingly hard though it was going to be.

A flicker of hope presented itself to her, in that perhaps he would not feel so helpless in defending her and Ocel if he knew she could not die. Try to avoid the fact that she would carry on for centuries, but at least let him know he was free from worry where keeping her safe was concerned.

Would it work? For either of them? She doubted it, but it was all she had. She crossed the room and stood behind him. Praying he would not shirk from her touch. She entwined her fingers with his. He turned his head slowly to look at her. An interminable sadness lay in those steel eyes. His fingers curled around hers.

"I have a confession to make," she said softly.