Sweater Town

Chapter 12 – The Bus

By Starwin


It was 3:00 AM. At least that's what her future phone told Mabel. The alarm clock by her bed confirmed the time. Both her parents would be asleep, which was good. Because she was about to do something neither of them would approve of.

This was well beyond her normal threshold for adventure or pushing the boundaries of what she could get away with. There were gray lines she was happy to cross all the time and rules that were certainly meant to be bent. Now, she was about to break those rules completely. Destroy all the trust her parents put in her. But she didn't have any other choice.

Mabel found her dad's wallet sitting on the entry table, right beside his car keys. It wasn't the first time she had rifled through her parents belongings, she had a very loose sense of privacy after all. However, this time, she was looking for one very specific thing. It was in the very first insert. She pulled out the little plastic card and crept back up to her room.

It only took her a few minutes to find the site, enter the numbers off the card, approve the transaction and print the document she needed. Not for the first time Mabel was thankful she had been able to convince her parents to let her get a printer for arts and crafts. And now, she guessed, criminal activity. Grunkle Stan would be proud. Fraud was one of the very first skills he had tried to impart on her and Dipper.

She packed very light. Her brother's journal, his blacklight (obviously), her sweater (of course) and naturally, her grappling hook. Her backpack always had emergency supplies in it, like extra panic candy and coloring books, so she didn't have to worry about that stuff. She also slipped the future phone into the outside pocket of her backpack. It probably wasn't something she wanted to just leave lying around or carry in her hand. And her skirt didn't have any pockets.

She dressed, almost choosing an outfit of all black but that might have been too conspicuous. She did have a long journey ahead of her, and there were bound to be other people along the way. So she picked a normal outfit. She even choose the most subtile sweater she owned, a simple sky blue one with clouds along the bottom.

She made her way back downstairs, printed document in hand, backpack slung over her shoulder. She returned her dad's credit card to its proper place then made a rash decision to take all the cash out of his wallet. She was borrowing it. She didn't plan to use it but better to have now and apologize later, if there was going to be a later for her.

As quietly as she could, she snuck out of the house and over to the garage. She found her bike and maneuvered it out, taking her helmet with her. In a minute more, she was off, riding along the sidewalk in the dead of night, with street lamps lighting her way in a haze of yellow light.

She wasn't that far from her destination but she didn't have a lot of time to get there. She might have made it on foot but why risk it, she only had one chance at this. Mabel peddled harder, thoughts racing through her brain about what she had done and what she was doing. This was crazy. She was crazy.

The building she was headed to came into view ahead of her. The sun still hadn't come up but people were already gathered under the electric lights. She stopped outside of the metal rails that boarded the huge parking lot. She was really going to do this.

She dismounted her bike and pushed it into some nearby bushes then tossed her helmet in after. She hoped it would be okay there but, even if it wasn't, it probably didn't matter.

Walking the last hundred yards or so, she tried to look relaxed. She tried to fit in and not be conspicuous. Although, being a thirteen-year-old-girl, the only child in sight, made her stand out like a sore thumb smashed with a sledge hammer. Maybe she shouldn't have hidden her bike so well, incase this whole plan went belly up and she needed to make a quick escape.

She reached the other people. Some sitting, some standing. A couple looked at her as she approached but no one said anything to her. She didn't have to wait long. Taking the bike had been the right decision because there was no way she would have made it on foot.

The other people began to file forward in front of her. Mabel found her place in line, clutching the paper in her hand. Questions as well as possible answers poured through her head. What if they stopped her? What if they asked why she was alone? What if they -

She was at the front of the line, standing in front of a man glaring at her.

"Ticket," he said when she didn't move. Mabel handed him the paper slip with a slight tremble in her hand. The man looked at it then looked back up at her. "Hey, I remember you. You're the pig girl. Right?" She nodded, frowning a bit at the bad name. The man looked back around her. "No pig this time, huh?" She shook her head. "Alright, welcome aboard."

She let out a sigh, took the ticket he handed back to her and made her way to the very, very back of the bus. She didn't want anyone to sit behind her and look over her shoulder.

There weren't a lot of other passengers. Not surprising for how early this bus was leaving. Also not surprising based on where they were headed. The middle of nowhere. Mabel recalled that on the previous bus ride up with her brother the bus had been nearly empty as well. It had also been just the two of them for most of the ride home, although, people had gotten on and off along the way.

She wouldn't have Dipper along this time to keep her company. No Waddles to cuddle with either. No card games or jokes to tell. It was just going to be stories from her other life. Her hand brushed the future phone still in her backpack. She wanted to wait until the bus was in motion and people were distracted. But there were only six of seven people spread out around the bus and they were all already distracted with something.

Fishing around in her pack, she carefully extracted the glass phone. She hadn't found a charging port on it and it didn't seem to have a battery symbol. It did have a jack that strangely enough still worked with her normal ear buds.

In a few short motions she was back in the phone, the video she had left on still visible and frozen on the screen. She gave it a little flick and the image flipped to the next page and a new video, which started to play.

"Okay, so I just did like a dozen takes trying to explain this thing for you," said Bel to her camera. It looked dark out the window behind her. She ran a hand through her messy hair. "I never thought it would be so hard to talk to myself. Well I was doing it, I started thinking. Worrying, really. Freaking myself out. Adding up the facts and coming to all the wrong answers!" Bel had started to hyperventilate a little.

"I mean, I know we did it, I know Dipper said he loves me," said Bel, more to herself than the camera. "And I mean he did that thing," she motioned downwards but stopped herself. "Sorry. Look, I don't know what happened. This might be hard for you to understand… but, but I've never watched any of the videos I've made for you. Except the wedding one, I admit now that was a mistake but it would have been like 3 hours long… Sorry, I'm dodging the subject again… We'll talk about this later.

"Dipper, that's what this video is about," reaffirmed Bel. "I know how I feel about him now, I do. I've accepted it… And I think he feels the same about me. I don't know. All his actions and words says he does too. I wish I could read his thoughts or something and know for sure. I need to know he wasn't just doing it because I want him to." She looked at the camera. "I have to know."

Mabel flipped to the next video.

"I told him," said Bel. "That I want to know how he really feels. That I want him to be honest with me no matter what. He kissed me." The video ended with Bel blushing very red in the face.

"Right, so, okay, I totally got off track in the last two videos," said Bel in the next entry. "Well, I didn't. I mean, they were both what they needed to be about… but I meant to tell you something. Something I should have told you way sooner.

"These videos, they aren't for me," explained Bel. "I've never watched any of them." Mabel felt confused. Bel had never watched them? But she had made them? "Except for two. The wedding one, but I wasn't even sure you were real at that point and it was a video just as much for me as you. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. I just didn't know then. The other one was explaining our, uh, my…? Relationship with, you know, the Dipster. I had to be sure we were coherent in one of them.

"But I promise I won't watch anymore of them," said Bel quickly. Mabel didn't understand. Why should she care if the girl recording the videos for her watched any of them? Wasn't that the point of the videos, to be watched?

"Maybe you don't even get it," explained Bel. "Maybe you don't even care. But I do. May, these aren't just videos. These are a record of your life. It's like…" she searched for words for a moment, "it would be like looking inside your thoughts." Mabel wasn't sure she agreed with that but, well, she couldn't argue the issue if she had wanted, for a number of reasons.

"Look, these videos are just for you, and no one else," continued Bel. "I can say anything I want to you in them because they are just for you. There are other, uh, videos…" Bel trailed off her and her face went red. "That are for the both of us. You might have already watched some of them." OH. Oh eww. "You don't have to, that's why they're in a separate folder. But, uh, I'm going to record it all. Just incase you do want to know and see all of it.

"Dipper is a bit less happy with that," said Bel with a pout. "He doesn't want any record of our, uh, playtime." Mabel frowned at the word. "Talk to you later, May."

Mabel bumped in her seat and looked up. The bus had started moving. Her eyes flicked around the cabin to check if anyone was watching her and the floating images in her hands. But not a single head had turned in her direction. It also didn't seem like anyone else had gotten on the bus. She was glad to be on the road. It was a long trip ahead of her.

She frowned. What were her parents going to think when they got up in a few hours and came to wake her, only to find her bed empty. She should have left a note, telling them not to panic. Or maybe, she should have made a note saying she had gone to school. No, stupid, she still couldn't write anything meaningful!

Although, now that she thought about it, she had been able to type stuff on her keyboard. She looked down at the phone. And type in passwords! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold the phone (literally, wa-wa)! She could type! Writing was broken for her but typing seemed to work just fine! She had a way to communicate, at long last! One that did her absolutely no good right now! She blew a quiet raspberry.

Mabel tapped to the next video and slipped back into the zone of catching up on her other life. To her surprise, it was Dipper that began this video.

"I broke things off with Pacifica today," said Dipper seriously. "She…" he rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "She didn't take it well. She didn't understand. She thought things were going so great between us. And, they were! It was really hard to not be able to give her a real answer. She cried and yelled at me. It… it was the worst break up I've ever had."

The next video was back to Bel again.

"I finally convinced Dipper to talk to you, I mean, I know he does whenever you're here, but I want him to talk to you when you aren't here too," said Bel. "I promised him I would never watch his videos. I think it's the first time I've ever promised him I wouldn't snoop into his stuff and actually meant it!"

"Hey!" cried Dipper from somewhere off camera.

"Ha-ha! Just Kidding bro-bear!" Bel looked at the camera and whispered. "I'm not kidding."

Mabel flipped through the videos, watching each intently. She still didn't come across any of their adventures because they had a dedicated site for that. Even Bel made a comment that May could watch them on the channel if she wanted. They were for everyone and these were just for May. Of course Bel didn't have any idea that Mabel couldn't see them.

The rest of the summer flew by. Bel talked about her blooming forbidden relationship with their brother. Dipper was overly cautious about it. Something that, as Bel pointed out, others had started to notice.

"He's acting even more jumpy than usual," Bel was recounting. "I mean, yeah, everything's different now. But, it's not, we're the same, our relationship is the same. Just more sexy now. If he keeps this up we're going to get caught for sure… then I don't know what'll happen.

"We're only a year away from college and, once we move out, there isn't anything anyone can say but if Dip doesn't get it together soon." Bel frowned. "Even Soos is starting to notice. SOOS! DIPPER! SOOS!" Bel shouted.

"Yes! I know, you don't have to remind me!" cried Dipper, again, somewhere off camera.

"Look, if nothing else, you need to get it together for Other Mabel. How do you think she would feel if she got here and she was all alone?" Dipper muttered something back but it was too low for Mabel to hear. "He says he'll work on it." Bel frowned and the video stopped.

"So we decided on a college," said Bel with a nod. "Third choice. We haven't told our parents yet. It's not a bad college. In fact, the big reason we picked it is that Dipper and I figured out what we want to do, where we want to focus. Film. This UsTube thing has exploded over the past week. Thanks to my handywork and Dipper's nose!" There was an audible sigh in the background. "Hush, you love it too. So, we think it's time to take the next step and get the skills to really make this thing happen."

The next few videos talked about their plans at college. One of which appeared to be that they would continue to stay at the Mystery Shack and commute to school every day.

"We will both have our driver's licenses by then, so, it just makes sense, cuze we won't have to pay for an apartment," explained Bel. "Dipper kinda wants us to have our own place so that we won't be under the constant watch of others as we do our 'stuff,'" Bel air quoted stuff, which Mabel shivered at its intended meaning. "But Dipper has finally calmed down enough that people have stopped commenting on how weird he's being."

Summer came to a close and the twins returned to their final year of high school. A year, that by all accounts turned out to be the worst, most awkward year for Bel so far.

"I swear that everyone, EVERYONE, is constantly hitting on me," complained Bel, sitting on her bed back at their house in California. She flopped backwards, covering her face with a pillow and screaming into it with furstration. "For years! YEARS! I've been trying to get a steady boyfriend, and yeah, okay, some of them weren't bad. But now that I'm not on the market they keep flocking to me! And I can't even tell them why I'm not interested!

"And it's not just the boys either! I've had a couple girls try to hit on me too," exclaimed Bel. "Not that I hadn't thought about it, but," she shook her head. "One of them said she thought I was turning away all the boys because I had other needs! And that I could totally come out to her because she was already out!" Bel covered her face with a pillow again.

"I even had this super awkward moment where the other twins at our school, they're juniors, a year below us, Kris and Chris," sighed Bel. "Their parents must have hated them or something. Anyhow, they came up to me when I was alone, and Chris, the boy one, asked me out right in front of his sister. And I told him I wasn't interested. Then there was like this awkward pause and then his sister, Kris, asked me out right after!" Bel threw her hands into the air. "What is up with you world! Why do you suck!"

The school year continued. Bel talked about her continuing woes with everyone under the sun trying to get with her. She talked about her workload getting even more difficult. And she talked about Dipper and how things were going with him.

"We just passed five months in our super secret sibling smooching and snuggling relationship," said Bel. "Being home sucks! We have no privacy from our parents! And I mean, neither of us want to do anything while we are at the house, obviously. But, man, I kind of need it! We have to figure something out. As much as I hate to admit it, Dipper might be right that we should get our own place or something.

"Oh, I almost forgot, we got accept to Oregon University of Theatrical Film and Impractical Science! So, one problem solved! Now I just need to make it through this year alive!"

The year did indeed drag on for Bel. She looked more and more tired in each video. But she also looked happy, especially when she filmed anything with Dipper beside her. While almost all of the videos were her talking to the camera. There were also some of Dipper.

"You understand that everything I'm doing is for all of us, right, Other Mabel?" asked Dipper.

"Call her May! She likes being called that," interjected Bel from off camera.

"Hey! You said you wouldn't listen in!" protested Dipper. "And how do you know what she likes being called? You've never met her!"

"I'm not listening in!" came Bel's voice. "I just know you too well!" Dipper looked back at the camera and shut it off.

The next video was of them just cuddling together, downstairs on the couch, watching something. Bel didn't say anything, she just smiled contentedly. It wasn't a long video, only a few minutes but it was the first video that Mabel replayed several times for herself. Only the desire to see more finally kept her moving onwards. But, she might come back to this one if she needed it.

She looked up again from the phone, seeing the mostly empty bus. For the first time that day, felt the lingering absence of her brother. The video had strongly reminded her that he was gone from her world forever and there would never be another snuggle session with him.

The end of the school year approached, as did Senior Prom. There was much debating about what was to be done. Dipper wanted to skip it. But Bel really, really, really wanted to go. However, they had a problem, a huge problem. Which was they couldn't go with each other, right? No, Dipper had insisted that was way too obvious or that they might do something in the moment they would regret.

The stress came to a boiling point with another fight that had Bel crying her eyes out. And, to Mabel's complete surprise, videos from Dipper as well.

"Mabel insisted you see us both," said Dipper into the camera. "She keeps saying that these are for you, not her. I mean, I don't know what to say, you don't think I'm being stupid right? What if we're out on the dance floor, with everyone watching and I like kiss her or something? Everyone will be watching us, judging us! I can't do this! It's just a stupid high school dance thing! I've never gone to any of them before and we won't even remember this in like a week or two! We aren't going!"

The next video was of Bel in a very pretty pink dress, her hair done up beautifully with little flowers inserted all about. She had the biggest, happiest, most excited smile on her face Mabel had ever seen. Dipper stood next to her, he was in an extremely handsome tux and an unhappy frown on his face.

"We're going to prom, together," whispered Bel excitedly.

When the next video started however, their facial expressions were switched. Dipper looked positively elated and Bel looked downright angry. They were both a mess, with Bel's hair drooping around her face and her very pretty dress torn and splattered with mud. Dipper was in much the same state but he couldn't have been happier about it.

"Our prom got invaded by ghosts!" shouted Dipper excitedly. "Well, not ghosts exactly, but vengeful spirits! It turns out that a senior who was made fun of by a bunch of other girls summoned up spirits to get revenge and - "

"Dipper!" shouted Bel angrily. "Our prom was ruined!"

"Yeah, but, I mean, we saved the day right?" asked Dipper.

"I just wanted one night! ONE NIGHT! To be with my secret boyfriend and have fun!" cried Bel. "Was that too much to ask! We didn't even get to dance!" Without a word, Dipper took the camera out of her hand, took a few steps to something Mabel couldn't see and set it down so it pointed at them. "Dipper, what are you doing?" asked Bel in confusion. Dipper fiddled with something on the screen and then music began to play, a strange echoey tone that must be coming from the phone they were recording on.

Dipper walked back over to Bel, took her hand and bowed to her.

"Can I have this dance, Lady Mabelton?" he asked. Bel blushed and smiled, nodding a moment later. Dipper took her by the waist and began to lead her in a slow, swirling dance. Bel rested her head against his chest as they swayed about the dim room in each other's arms.

When it ended, they kissed, somewhat breathlessly.

"Better?" asked Dipper after they broke apart.

"Best. Night. Ever," whispered Bel. Then she hurried over to the camera. "Uh, the next part is in a different folder." She ended the video. Mabel did not go find the other video.

They graduated. Dipper with honors and Bel, as she put, just making it. Soon enough they were back in Gravity Falls and back on adventures. Once more, Mabel's visit came around and Bel left her a message.

"Wow, okay," said Bel to the camera. "I always forget how intense it is to have you here. I thought after I confessed to Dipper those feelings you leave behind would be way more tolerable. But, they're still just… uh, I left a few more bonus videos for you in the other folder, they're all your fault by the way." Mabel closed her eyes trying to get that image out of her mind but that just seemed to make it worse. She shook her head. Nope, she wasn't going to look at any of those.

"Our bro filled me in on the sweater town thing," said Bel. That finally let Mabel refocus. "I have to say I wouldn't have guessed that but it makes sense…" she trailed off here. "I talked to Ford about it. He says he's going to look into it some more." She looked seriously into the camera. "May, what happened? What's so bad that you need to come here to escape it?"

This seemed to be the first uneventful summer in a very long time. Mabel flipped from video to video, but there were only brief mentions about the things Bel and Dipper were up to. They had indeed decided to stay at the Mystery Shack because of costs and because they liked it there. Great Uncle Ford gave them his blessing to stay. Bel also confirmed that he knew about the forbidden relationship between her and her brother.

"He didn't encourage us to continue," explained Bel. "But he also didn't try to stop us. It…" she rubbed the back of her neck, "it was a really awkward talk. He said he knew right after it happen. It's kinda scary how much he knows sometimes."

Their adventures continued as summer neared its end. So far nothing major or life shattering or world ending had popped up. The closest thing to anything was a week before their birthday where Bel had been 'late.'

"I mean, it's no big deal," Bel said to the camera. "Just because my period has been on time, every time, since it started. That's nothing to worry about… right? I mean, it's just a few days late now. It's not like I'm pregnant with my brother's baby or something… right? RIGHT?!"

"Mabel, calm down. You're freaking yourself out," said Dipper from off camera.

"I'M NOT FREAKING MYSELF OUT ABOUT HAVING YOUR BABY!" shouted Bel back and Dipper shushed her, panic in his hiss. "DON'T YOU SHUSH ME! I - mrghf" Dippe clamped his hand over Bel's mouth to stop her from shouting.

"Sorry, she's just a little panicky right now," said Dipper to the camera. "GAH, now you have me doing it!" He sharply pulled his hand away and shook it. "Eww, Mabel, did you just lick me!" She was smiling at him.

The video ended. There were several more videos that didn't have any words. It was just Mabel holding up a plastic cylinder that had a minus sign on it. There were five videos of just that, all dated one day after the other, until finally.

"Okay, crisis averted, got my period today, a week late," said Bel with a strained expression that Mabel couldn't quite read. It was so odd seeing an a look on her own face that was alien to her. Something between sadness and… regret? "Sorry to freak out on you there. But, I mean, I don't know how we would have explained that one." Her eyes flicked up to her brother across the room then she whispered into the camera. "Actually… " she shook her head. "Nevermind."

Summer came to a close but instead of returning home this time, the twins stayed at the Shack. Their first year of College began.

The first and most important thing on Bel's mind was that everyone had stopped hitting on her. At least for the first couple of weeks. Then, to her disappointment, it started up again. She was also excited not to be the only girl in their film classes. A/V club had been great, just, very boy centric.

Their film classes seemed to be split almost fifty-fifty, with actually just a few more women in them. Classes seemed not to be that much more challenging than high school. In fact, for the most part, Bel was really enjoying herself whenever she talked about it.

"DIE BRACES DIE!" shouted Bel in a video of her jumping up and down on the metal bits spread out on the ground. The camera flicked back up to her face and she smiled her metaless smile. "Finally free! I'm free! Dipper bring me the rocket!" An arm handed her a large, very illegal looking, firework. It had already been set up with rubberbands. "Hold my phone!" she commanded, and the phone was passed off so that she could use both hands to attach the braces to the exploding projectile. "Be sure to get this!"

"I've got it," said Dipper, holding the camera steady.

"See you in hell, braces!" shouted Bel as she ignited the rocket in her hands. A moment later it launched high into the sky with a whizzing sound and exploded into millions of little sparkling dots. She smiled at the camera once more, with shining white very straight teeth and the video stopped.

Bel also talked about how she was going to start her studies into becoming a veterinarian, it was part of the science branch of the school. Dipper was also looking into theoretical physics.

The videos continued on as their first year of college flew by. There were other videos of questionable content. Bel talked about the first time Dipper had gotten drunk although there was no video of it. They had been at a friend's party and he had grabbed the wrong drink, a couple times. Bel also talked about other things they had been offered. Mind enhancing substances.

"I really, really, really wanted to try it but…" Bel started to confess. Then there was that same strange expression again. Was Bel not telling her something? "I think I'll stick to MabelJuice for my kicks thanks."

"That stuff isn't a lot better for you," interjected Dipper. Bel stuck her tongue out over the top of the camera. "Besides you shouldn't be having any of that - " the video abruptly cut out.

Neither alcohol nor drugs seemed to become a constant. Dipper didn't like to drink very often and Bel seemed to actively be avoiding it, which Mabel thought was odd. Sure, she was in no hurry to try either drugs or alcohol. But it also felt odd that her older self hadn't. Afterall, Mabel was an experimenter, she would try most anything at least once.

As the videos went on though, the topic was rarely brought up. Dipper wasn't big on parties so they either went adventuring for their UsTube videos, which had grown immensely. Or, they stayed home, doing other things that Bel continued to allude to.

Mabel continued to get little glimpses into this other life as they continued into December of that year. What she really wanted though was more than just updates. Bel talked about things, told her stories but she never took videos outside of her room. Mabel never got to see said stuff happening.

"May - " said Bel. She shook her head and the video ended. The next video was time stamped from the same day, a few hours later. "Hey, May. Look. I - I'm sorry, I can't. I don't want you to hate me. And Dipper doesn't want me to tell you and - " again the video shut off abruptly.

Mabel half expected the next video to be some deep, intemet confession about something. What she hadn't expected though was for the videos to skip forward months to just after her next visit. Mabel felt her body tense as the next image came on screen. She slightly regretted wanting to see things instead of just being told.

"Hey, May," whispered Bel. She was in a hospital room. There were dark circles under her eyes and her skin looked pale. "Recording this right after you left. I'm using Dipper's phone cuze you sort of broke mine. I didn't get to backup everything, so, you missed some stuff, I'm not sure how much." There was that strange expression again that Mabel couldn't read.

"Dipper thinks that whenever you arrive, you always have to be in Gravity Falls," explained Bel. "Like the time I stayed in California and we were teleported here. He has no idea how it works though. We haven't asked Ford yet." Bel closed her eyes. "Not feeling so hot, gonna talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

Mabel checked and found that nearly seven months of videos were missing. She hadn't just smashed her phone during that moment of panic and anger, she had erased parts of the life Bel had wanted her to see. Worse, it felt like there had been something important Bel had wanted to tell her.

"Dipper got me a new phone this morning," said Bel, much brighter than the night before. "I'll have to reload everything onto it but don't worry about it too much. Dipper thinks the reason I got hurt was because we were in an elevator. The doctors say my injuries are like I fell fifteen stories. We were staying on the fifteenth floor. So when I got brought here, it's like I stayed at the same height and dropped out of the sky.

"Although, that doesn't make any sense, wouldn't I have fallen onto the roof or something?" Bel shook her head. "Look, I don't blame you for this okay? We thought it would be nice to go someplace different for our summer vacation, but, well, we guess we should have thought about you too.

"Oh, and I figured out when you come back each year. One day later each time, always on the day matching the year. So you'll be back on June 19th next year, 2019. That makes it easy. Feeling kind of tired will chat you up tomorrow."

The next video wasn't from the next day but a few days after that.

"Sorry about the late video," apologized Bel. "Had to go back into surgery. Everything's fine. I'm fine, talk to you in a bit." The way she said 'fine' made Mabel think anything but that. Something was definitely wrong.

There was another, longer time gap to the next video. It was the longest break between them yet, save for the ones lost when her phone had been smashed. However, Mabel assumed Bel had been recording during the missing videos. This gap however was almost a month and it was clear from her tone that Bel had been avoiding making them.

"Okay, so, I was lying," said Bel. She was back home, well, back in the Mystery Shack that was her home now. "I wasn't fine last time. I've been mad at you. I know, it's stupid. It's not your fault. But it is! You keep coming back! You keep stuffing me with your feelings and you keep hurting me!

"I've been in physical therapy for two weeks, May!" she motioned over to the crutches leaning against the wall. "I can barely walk right now. It hurts to sleep. And me and Dipper haven't had any sex since this happened because," she held up her hands to quote him, "I don't want you to get hurt!" She glared into the camera. "I don't want you to come back next year. I want you to leave us alone. I want my life back you bitch."

Mabel didn't play the next video. She let the phone rest in her lap and closed her eyes as the tears flowed out of her. She was such and idiot! She had never stopped to consider what she was doing to Bel. Not once. She just dove in, headlong, thinking only about herself and what she wanted. Every day she buried herself in sweater town and for a day took over her other life.

That playing god had almost gotten Bel killed! What would have happened if it had?

Her whole body was shaking now. Bel had told her never to come back. To stay away. To leave her alone. Of course, Mabel had no way to hear that message, not without coming back.

She wiped at her eyes again. She needed to hear more, to hear everything. She flipped to the next video.

"Sorry," said Bel quietly in the next video. Mabel checked the date. It was the same date as the last video, just a few hours later. "I didn't mean…" she shook her head, eyes not looking at the camera. "No, I did. I meant every word." She looked up at the video. "But that's not going to stop you. I made these for you, May. So you could see my life, your life, our life and understand it. Because I thought you were me. But I don't know who you are, or what you are, or if you even care.

"I don't know if you've ever watched any of these, Dipper says you've never looked at my phone. So maybe I'm just talking to myself, and you'll never see this." Her eyes fell again. "I just need some time, okay."

The next video was a month and a half later.

"Ta-da!" said Bel to the camera. She was standing, holding out both her arms. She stood for only a moment then flopped down onto her bed. "Alright, that was the first time I stood on my own without crutches. Man, I thought braces sucked! I hate these things. Months of physical therapy and I still need them. I was hoping I would be free of them before school started, but, it doesn't look like it. Still kinda mad at you by-the-way."

Videos became more frequent again. Bel went back to talking about her life once more. As school started she talked about that. Every now and then she displayed her ability to stand without needing the crutches. She had painted one of them blue and the other pink, both were dotted with stickers.

Scattered between her updates were videos with Soos and Melody's little girl, Abby. She had started crawling at some point. She seemed to adore Bel quite a bit. Abby would crawl over and and climb on top of Bel, who seemed to enjoy every moment of the attention.

"Alright, I'm going to level with you," said Bel. It was late December now and Mabel could still see the crutches propped up in the background. "The reason I've been so mad at you isn't cuze you keep coming back. Well, it is, but I mean, I'm sort of okay with it now. I just have to accept it like other stuff I can't control, like something else I don't look forward to every month.

"At first I thought I was okay with it, and I keep telling Dipper I'm okay with it, but…" she shook her head. "Look, I can't change it. I don't even know if you can change it or if you even realize what you're doing when you're here." Bel closed her eyes. "I'm not fine, okay. I lied. I've lied to you and to myself. I'm still doing the physical therapy thing, but - fuck!" It spilled from her lips in an abrupt moment of lost control. She covered her mouth with a hand, unable to believe what she had just said. "I'm never going to walk on my own without crutches ever again. And you did this to me. And I hate you for it."

Mabel felt her heart clutch in her chest. She had always assumed that Bel had fully recovered, that things had just gone back to normal, because when she was there, everything was fine. However, it seemed that she was simply what was fine. Her being there let Bel walk. No, let her walk. What had she done…

School started up again and Bel kept leaving videos. Although she was much more subdued in them. Gone were the exuberant rants and cheerful musings. These were just the facts, read off like a board announcer talking about things she couldn't care less about.

There were still videos, they were just a lot less of them and they were a lot less interesting. She didn't even talk about her relationship with Dipper once. Nor, as Mabel noticed, did she give any updates about Soos, Melody, their daughter or either of the Uncles, something that had been a fairly frequent inclusion before. Mabel had a strange balled up feeling in the pit of her stomach that something had happened. Something Bel no longer wanted or cared to share with her.

As the end of the school year drew to a close. Dipper popped into the videos once more.

"Hey, May," said Dipper. He had called her by the nickname Bel had given her. She couldn't remember if he had still called her Other Mabel after that or not. He obviously knew a better - oh shoot he was saying something important. Mabel rewound. "Hey, May. I've been kinda listening in on Mabel's videos for you. This - this has been a really hard year for her, ya'know?

"She has always been super active but she be can't now. She had to stop going to her gymnastics class, even though they said she could still attend, she just doesn't want to. No more hiking, or sports, or anything. She just kinda sits around the attic, being all depressed and stuff.

"Look, I don't blame you. And I don't think she really blames you. But… it's been rough, okay. Please don't be mad at her."

There were several more videos of Dipper trying to apologize for Bel. But he didn't do a very good job in any of them. Moreover, Mabel didn't think he had to. Bel was right to hate her. She had messed up her life so badly.

Before Mabel knew it, summer had started again.

The next video was the day before Mabel's next visit. It was late at night. The video reminded Mabel of the one Bel had taken so long ago, when she first confessed about her feelings. Just like in that video, Bel spoke softly into her phone.

"I'm not mad at you anymore," whispered Bel. "I know that in a few hours, you'll be in my body again. Doing whatever you want. But it's not going to be what you want this year. It's going to be what I want. You're going on an adventure for me." She held up a sweater. The sweater with a dragon on the front. "And I'm going to try my best and be there for it. I've been reading up on lucid dreams and stuff, and I plan to remember it. I plan to experience it. You're going to have it and I'm going to enjoy it.

"I've also set an alarm. To get you to look at my phone and see what's really going on. Dipper will make sure you don't have my phone cuze he doesn't want you to see these videos. He doesn't want you to know because he wants you to keep coming back.

"We made a video for you, talking about the woolhole and what's going to happen. And telling you about our relationship, because I don't think Dipper has ever told you!" She turned her sweater inside out, revealing a hidden pocket inside. "Once I'm done recording, I'm going to hide it in here because I don't think Dipper is going to show that video to you.

"And if all else fails, Great Uncle Ford has promised me that he'll tell you the truth. And if that doesn't stop you from coming back, I don't know what will!"

Mabel flipped to the next video.

"I did it!" gasped Bel. "I… I was there, with you! Could you feel me, May? At the end there I could even do some stuff, like saving our stupid brother's life when you froze up. And I could walk again! I could swim! It was amazing! We walked back barefoot! I wanted to fuck Dipper so hard when we got to the beach! I didn't have that much control though, but you felt it, right May?

"Still can't walk on my own, even after you left, but I got to do it for a day," said Bel with a smile. "And I was right. Dipper didn't tell you. But I know Ford did. Hope not to see you next year!"

Once more she lowered the phone. Out the window the sun had risen high into the sky. It was getting close to lunchtime. Her tummy rumbled and she tried to remember when she had eaten last. Not all of yesterday, that was for sure. Hadn't she had icecream? No, that had been in sweater town. She hadn't thought to bring any food with her either. They couldn't be that far from the rest stop now.

She switched off the device. It seemed to have a crazy long battery life. She had been watching videos on it for hours and hours now. When was she going to have to charge it? How was she going to charge it? Should she just skip ahead and watch the videos at the end to see the important ones?

No, they were in order for a reason. So, she was going to watch them in order. And if the phone died before she got to the end, well, she would just charge it in sweater town and watch the rest of them.

She frowned. Dipper hadn't wanted her to watch them at all. Why? Why didn't he want her to know?

Okay, well, that was actually easy. He didn't want her to freak out like she had. Because when she had seen the videos, the very first one, she had run away. But if he had just told her, explained it to her, like Ford had done. Okay, not like Ford. Man, that had been unpleasant.

She looked out the window, watching the scenery pass for a while. She vaguely recognized the area outside. Not from having been there but having passed it before. It was a rundown town with a few sparse houses here and there and no real anything to speak of.

She recalled the game she and her brother had played on their ride up last year, trying to guess what people did for fun in such a place. Dipper had gone with cow tipping. To which she had pointed out there were no cows. She had suggested that they made crop circles. To which Dipper had pointed out, with just as much joy, that there were no crops.

They were close now, not more than an hour from the rest stop where there would be bathrooms and food trucks. Mabel had decided she would give the videos a rest until after the stop. She had so much to absorb. The big one, the one she had never, ever, considered before was that Bel hated her. That had come as such a shock.

Dipper always seemed to indicate that her other self was okay with her being there, even after the accident that had debilitated her (which Mabel didn't know about either). But that clearly wasn't the case. That whole year had been nothing but angry videos towards her.

Bel's intent had been to scare her off. She realized that Bel had inadvertently succeeded. Mabel didn't return to sweater town after that for five years! Although it had just been a day for her and it hadn't had anything to do with learning the truth.

Mabel fished her shooting star sweater out of her bag. All the tears and seams her mother had fixed had once more come undone. She found the loose thread pooled in the bottom of her bag. So it turned out that even her mom's repairs were only temporary. Well, that was okay, she only needed it one more time anyhow. Hopefully it would hold together long enough.

Carefully she slipped it back into her bag.

She pulled out her brother's journal next, along with the black light. With a click she switched on the light and began flipping through the seemingly blank pages. Future dates and adventures flicked past. She wanted to stop and read a few but she was looking for something else. Something she had seen in a passing dream. She stopped as the page laid out before her.

Other Mabel. There it was, just like she remembered it, picture and all. She re-read bits of the entry, trying to once more glean anything she could from it. Dipper's words were of concern for his sister, of suspicion of Other Mabel and what she was there to do. At the time it had seemed harsh and unfair. But now she could see he was right. She was just a danger.

What if something really bad happens when Other (Adorable) Mabel is here? Where does my sister go when Other (Adorable) Mabel is here?

Mabel had an answer to both those questions. When really bad thing happened they stay with Bel forever. And Bel didn't go anywhere. She was always there, trapped like a prisoner in her own body and mind as she was forced to watch whatever Mabel did.

Mabel closed the book and put it away.

Her tummy grumbled again. Yeah, she knew, she couldn't do anything about food yet, it would just have to wait a little longer.

Thankfully, not a lot longer. The bus pulled into the rest stop where the driver announced that they would have a thirty minute break. Mabel got off with everyone else. She used the restroom (she hadn't needed to go until she stood up) then found a food truck. This one had hamburgers. They were okay but their chilly fries were amazing!

Fed, relieved, Mabel got back onto the bus and retook her seat in back. She fiddled with her phone, tempted to restart the videos again. Her brain was playing tricks on her because she knew she couldn't have that many left, there had just been those two more visits. Except, there had been a five year gap between them, which meant she had loads of videos left to watch, if Bel was even still making them for her.

And of course, she wouldn't have any more videos after leaving this year because she had taken the phone with her. What was Bel going to say to having her phone stolen? Or did it work like the journal, did it exist in both places and she could see new videos with the black light?

No, she was holding back. Partly because she wanted to be underway before she lost herself in them again. And partly because she didn't want to see them. She didn't want to know about the other terrible things Bel had to tell her. Except, she did. She wanted to know it all. Maybe that would change things when she got to her destination. Maybe it would stop her from what she planned to do.

Mabel looked down to see how white her knuckles were as they clenched around the glass phone. Thankfully it was built very sturdy because she was trying to crush it. She let her hands relax and closed her eyes for a moment, not trying to drift off but just trying to relax.


It was a car horn that woke her up, startling Mabel out of her doze. She hadn't been dreaming, she didn't think. She had just been resting. Briefly, she was confused as to where she was. She looked around, trying to get her bearings. People were sitting in seats around her and they were moving and... Oh. Right. She was on a bus. Technically, she had run away from home.

She looked down at the glass phone lying in her lap, she must have let it go when she passed out. Thankfully, it hadn't fallen to the floor and shattered or something. Maybe she should use it to call her parents and tell them where she was. At least give them a heads up that she was okay or something. Yeah, she could do that.

She unlocked the phone and backed out of the video scrapbook. She noted where she left off and that there were still many videos ahead of her to be played (she couldn't tell how many at a glance though). She found the phone option, pressed it and fiddled around until she got to a manual dialer. She entered her home phone. It rang into her ear buds. It rang again. She contemplated hanging up. Someone picked up.

"Pines residence," it was her father's voice, he didn't sound panicked or angry. It wasn't how he should sound if he had realized she was missing. She should just hang up now…

"Dipper," she said into her phone. IDIOT! Of course that's what you -

"Ma - Mabel?" croaked her father's voice. "Mabel is that you? Honey, stay on the line, speak to me! Tell me you're alright! Where are you?" Well, she couldn't answer that. "Speak to me, say something, anything! Please!"

"Dipper," she said again, a frown across her brow.

"It's you! It's really you! How's this possible! How can -" his voice cut off.

Mabel looked at the holographic display. The screen said disconnected. It also said May 5th, 2031. That… uh… that wasn't the month, or year, at all. Her future phone must be acting up. She thought about calling him back. What was she going to say, just shout Dipper's name over and over? What a stupid idea.

She thought about maybe texting them instead. Afterall, she had discovered she could type. Unfortunately, she realized she didn't know either of their cell numbers. Well, that call would have to be enough. Although it sounded like her parents weren't panicking too badly.

She back peddled through her phone and returned to the videos. Well, she had put it off long enough. Time to trudge on. She had left off with Bel telling her she hoped to never see Mabel again, so it came as a shock, when in the next video Bel was crying.

"I fucked it all up," she sobbed. "Dipper knows what I did. He knows I tried to scare you off. And I shouted back at him. I told him that he should just be happy with me and our -" Bel broke off and shook her head. "And our relationship! But he said he had never been happy with me! I'm such an idiot! I tricked myself all this time. It was just a lie! It's all just a lie!"

The video ended and the next one was a few weeks later. Bel was sitting in Dipper's arms while they recorded.

"We're fine," said Bel smiling into the camera. Mabel was surprised at the complete lack of detail or explanation as the video abruptly ended. She tapped into the next video, it too was a few weeks later.

"I don't know if you're ever coming back after what I did," said Bel with a shrug. "Right now, I don't know if I care but Dipper does. He misses you. I can hear it in his voice whenever he talks about you. Yes, he still talks about you. Just out of the blue sometimes. I hate that he - " she cut herself off, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Look," she motioned down towards her legs. "This thing changed me. You, changed me. That happy-go-lucky kid I used to be just isn't me anymore. And I'm angry that's gone. I miss being like that. That's what he sees in you whenever you're here. He see's you, how I was."

The next video was months later.

"Things have been rough between me and Dipper this year," admitted Bel. "He says he's forgiven me for what I did, what I told you. How I told you. And I say I've forgiven him for how he didn't tell you… but we're both lying to each other. When did we start lying to each other?"

The next video was only a few hours later.

"I think it started when we got together," said Bel quietly to the camera. "That first time. I think that was a lie and he just had to keep going with it. Telling it to me, making himself believe it. I broke my promise to you. I looked at your videos. Just the one of our first time because I knew it was there.

"They weren't for me. They were never for me. I shouldn't have done it. Because I saw it in his face. That moment he decided to lie to me. To love me like I wanted him to love me because he thought that if he didn't he would lose me forever.

"And you know what," Bel started to sob here. "He's right. He's completely right."

There was a much longer gap here. Longer than any other one before it. The videos jumped from August all the way into April of the following year. An eight month gap.

"Hey, sorry about the videos," apologized Bel in a tone that clearly indicated she wasn't sorry. "School has been crazy. Things with Dipper have been… well, not great. We're still living together but mostly cuze neither of us can afford a place of our own. And we just have the one car between us. UsTube is barely making enough for us to keep paying for college. I think I'm going to suggest we drop out and just go full time on our video thing.

"Mom and dad won't like it but I don't care, we only talk to them when we have to now. I just don't have any idea what Dipper is going to say about it. That's what scares me. Is he just going to go along with it because he feels he has to, just like our whole relationship?

"You don't care." Bel switched off the video.

She couldn't have been more wrong. Mabel did care, she really did. She wanted everything to be alright. She wanted Bel to be alright. She wanted Dipper to be alright. She didn't like their relationship but that didn't mean she couldn't understand. Mabel could see how not having it was destroying Bel, how it was ripping her apart.

Another long delay between videos, this time into the first week of June.

"It's almost time, just a few more days now and I bet you'll be back, prancing around, having fun, stealing my body. Dipper says he has something special planned. I'll be there too, in case you're wondering."

The next video was on the day Mabel should have returned that year but didn't.

"You're late," said Bel, and there was the smallest frown on her lips. Why did she look disappointed. Didn't she want Mabel gone? "You've never been this late before."

The next video was a few hours later.

"I mean, I didn't really think…" she said, and there was something in her voice that Mabel recognized as sadness.

The next video was at 11:55 p.m.

"Only five minutes left May… you aren't coming this year, are you?"

The next video was the next day, midnight on the dot.

"I… I can't believe it, it worked," said Bel. "You didn't come back this year… and… and I should be happy that you're gone… but I just feel… empty..." Her sad eyes looked up into the camera and the video ended.

Mabel's hand hovered over the button that would take her into the next video. Instead, she tapped back to return to the folder view. She cheated. Mabel scrolled down, looking ahead. There were still hundreds of videos yet to be played, with more dates over years. Bel was still talking to her, still leaving messages.

Mabel scrolled back up, her eyes searching through the thumbnails until she found what she was looking for. She pressed play and the video of her and her brother cuddling on the couch began to play. When it finished, she played it again, then again, then again. After the fifth or sixth time, she discovered she could press the loop option and the video just kept cycling.

Mabel finally let her thoughts wander as she imagined herself in better times. Why couldn't they all be like that? Why did things have to get so out of hand? Bel hated her, Dipper loved her in a weird way. Sweater town sucked and she was currently running away from home. She just wanted a place to be happy.

Was this all her fault? Her face fell.

It was always her fault. The trials Dipper had to endure over the summer had all been due to her selfishness. From giving up on Wendy to nearly ending the world. It was all because Mabel had wanted to do whatever she felt like, with no concern for what her brother needed.

His accident was her fault too. If she had paid more attention, if she had just watched where she was going. If she hadn't let him push her out of the way…

Her eyes shifted back down to her and her brother cuddled together on the couch. Older, different, in a forbidden romance with each other. They were different people whose lives she had intruded on. No more though. Sweater town had been a crutch she didn't need any longer. She had made up her mind this morning and no video or random thought was going to stray her from her goal.

Still… she wanted to know what else Bel had to tell her because no matter how her other self felt, she still had a lot to say.

Mabel stopped the playback of the cuddle video and found where she had left off. She rewatched the last entry before tapping into the next one. It was a day later. Not weeks or months.

"The feeling's just getting worse," said Bel. She wasn't looking at the camera as she spoke. "Dipper won't talk to me. He hasn't said it but he blames me that you didn't come back. Ford said that there might be any number of reasons you aren't here. Maybe we got the date wrong? Or you can't make it back for some reason. Or the woolhole might have collapsed… there's just no way for us to know…" she looked back into the camera. "If it's my fault May… I'm - I'm sorry…"

There was a week between the next video. It didn't start with Bel talking coherently, it started with her sobbing. She tried to form words, to say something. But all she could manage was to turn the camera and point it at the empty, sheetless, bed across the way.

Mabel felt her heart break in her chest. Bel didn't have to say it, she couldn't. Dipper had left her. The video ended to her sobs.

The next video was several days later. Bel was laying on her side in bed, half heartedly looking at the camera.

"Dipper hasn't called me, he hasn't texted me, I haven't seen him, or talked to him," said Bel. "I haven't left my room in days." The camera tilted down and Mabel let out a gasp. Bel was wearing the shooting star sweater. "I haven't… not for so long… and it's what started this whole mess… isn't it… maybe just one more time."

The next video was much, much longer. Bel had propped up her phone so that it was focused on her as she struggled to fit herself inside the far too small garment. It wasn't easy and it had a lot of cursing that Mabel wasn't okay hearing but at last Bel managed it. Although, her ankles and the top of her head still stuck out.

Mabel watched as Bel began to rock back and forth, muttering to herself and crying. Mabel watched the whole thirty minute long video. It ended with Bel having cried out all her tears before reaching over and shutting off the camera. Mabel had no idea if it had worked and Bel did not elaborate.

Mabel swiped into the next video which she noted was a few days later. She wasn't ready for what she would find.

"He left me a note!" shouted Bel into the camera, nearly delirious with joy. She held up the paper, which the camera tried and failed to focus on. Bel moved her hand back, fighting the auto focus and the note went blurry, readable, then blurry again. Mabel was finally able to read it but just as she started, Bel yanked it away. Luckily she began to read.

"He wants to meet me tonight, at the spot where he found the journal!" she frowned and Mabel recognized the look, even on her older face. She looked at the camera, clearly unhappy about something but she didn't elaborate.

The next video was from only a few hours later. Bel had apparently started filming as she approached the spot. As the video started, Mabel could see the silhouette of someone standing in the dwindling light ahead of them.

The camera moved and bounce in a strange halting sort of way. Mabel realized it was because of how Bel was walking. Or rather, that she wasn't walking. She was holding the camera awkwardly in her hand. While they weren't directly in frame, Mabel could catch a glimpse of the painted metal crutches as Bel moved her weight from one to the other.

The figure ahead of them turned. It was Dipper. He was looking right at them. Bel stopped in her tracks. Mabel sucked in her breath.

"Going to record this?" asked Dipper. Mabel couldn't see but she assume that Bel must have nodded, since she didn't say anything. Dipper continued with a sigh. "I guess I shouldn't have expected anything less. You've always been obsessed with that."

"I'm not obsessed," snapped Bel. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean - "

"It's okay," interrupted Dipper. "I shouldn't have… look, you want to sit, we need to talk." He motioned towards the log he was standing by. Bel made her way over. The motion was strange and unsettling. She had never seen it before, watching from Bel's point of view. It was so odd because she had been in her body so often, she just never saw it like her other self did.

Dipper offered her a hand. For a very brief moment, Mabel thought Bel would shun it, or even slap him away but she let him help her. They sat side-by-side. Out in the forest and only feet away from where their crazy adventure had begun.

"I'm sorry I took off," began Dipper.

"It's - " Bel started to say.

"No, it isn't okay, starlight," interrupted Dipper. "I know things have been bad between us all year. I know I made them bad - "

"No I - "

"You didn't!" Dipper interrupted her again. "If I had just done what you asked, if I had just told her. May would have come back this year."

"We don't know that," whispered Bel quietly. "We don't have any idea what - "

"Ford told me about your test," whispered Dipper. Bel was suddenly fiddling with the camera. "You haven't told her!" Dipper yanked the phone out of Bel's hand before she could shut it off.

"Dipper! Give it back! Give me back my phone!" Bel shouted, struggling over him while Dipper held it out of her reach, his hand half covering the lens. There was fear and panic in her voice that Mabel had never heard before.

"You did all this, you told her so much else but you didn't tell her this? Holy shit Mabel! How could you keep this from her?"

"We keep a lot from her, incase you've forgotten about - " Bel cut herself off, her eyes fearful. Dipper's gaze narrowed. Bel looked at the camera then her eyes turned angrily to Dipper. "So is that why you're back? Because you felt sorry for me?" shouted Bel. "Is that why you left me the note because now you feel bad about your sister?"

"What? No, I mean, I do, I feel like crap about how things are between us," said Dipper. "But, Mabel, that isn't why. I didn't come... not just because…" He looked into the camera and raised a hand to turn it off.

Mabel could see the conflict in his face. She silently begged him with every fiber of her being for him to leave it on. Of course, watching the video after, there was no way he could hear her. Even if she had been able to say words.

At that moment Mabel finally realized what Bel had been trying to convey to her about these videos, how they were for her. They were her window into this life. It was so unfair how little she could look in on. And now, her brother was about to make her go away, to edit her out. To turn her off like she didn't exist.

He lowered his hand.

"This is why you wanted them, right?" asked Dipper. Bel nodded very slightly, then looked away. "The truth. The videos only May is supposed to watch…" He looked up into the camera, his expression very serious. "She has cancer, May," said Dipper right to the camera, right to Mabel. Mabel blinked. She… she couldn't have heard that right? Mabel touched the side of her own head. Her thoughts too jumbled up to even make the connection she was already making. "After the accident, the doctors found it in her brain. Stage four. Inoperable and terminal, brain cancer. There isn't anything anyone can do except prolong her life by a few months."

"Make me suffer," spat Bel. Dipper's face softened and he hugged his sister. She looked pointedly away from the camera.

"Six months, at the most, that's what they said, maybe another two with treatment," continued Dipper solemnly. "But that was two years ago," continued Dipper. "No one can explain it, but the cancer just isn't doing the damage like it's supposed to. It only gets bigger once a year. On the day you visit." Dipper's face fell. "I believed you were holding it back, keeping it at bay but -" He looked towards Bel, she continued to look away.

"I thought you gave it to me," blurted out Bel angrily, clenching her eyes shut as tears rolled down her face. "How could you not have? How could their be no side effects of you taking over my body every year! But… but you didn't come back this year and it's the worst it's ever been. This thing growing in my brain…

"I don't know if you gave it to me or not… but - but I think Dipper's right. You stopped it, you held it back somehow," continued Bel much more softly, her body relaxing. "I can't go back to the hospital, because… well, I should be dead. And if anyone found out they would lock me up for study. Great Uncle Ford still keeps an eye on it. When you didn't come back this year, it grew larger than it ever has before." Her body started to shake.

"I'm sorry. I've been so mad at you!" She finally looked at the camera. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" she broke down into sobs. Dipper didn't talk, he just held his crying sister in one arm and the camera in the other.

Mabel thought that was just going to be the end of the video, that any moment now, Dipper would just hit stop. She moved her hand through the time bar and was surprised to see that the video had only just started. Another video flashed through her mind. She hoped this one didn't end the same way.

Bel's sobs finally became sniffles and she finally sat back upright, wiping at her eyes and smiling at Dipper, and - Mabel noticed - the camera.

"I'm sorry too," Dipper said after a long moment. "I know that doesn't mean a lot. But I am. I needed to think, starlight. I needed to know what I really wanted. I needed to know about you. About us." Bel didn't give any indication that she had heard, or understood him, she just looked at him. "You're right you know. I was lying to you." Bel looked like she was about to break down into tears again. "At the start. I just didn't know what to do, it just seemed to come out of nowhere!"

"I sent you signals about it for months, Dipper!"

"And I'm a guy!" To Mabel's surprise, Bel laughed. Not a condescending laugh like their Uncle but her honest laugh, like she couldn't believe what she had heard. "What? I am? I'm no good with signals."

"Yeah, you really aren't," said Bel, tears in her eyes but not the sad kind.

"Look, I'm not going to lie to you about this alright," said Dipper.

"Okay," whispered Bel breathlessly.

"Mabel, I love you," said Dipper, there was a moment of joy in her eyes that was quickly extinguished by his next words. "But I love you like a sister." Bel turned her head away, her hand already reaching for the crutches resting beside her. "Stop!" pleaded Dipper. Bel did stop, her eyes closed and her body shaking.

"I should have said it back then. But I couldn't. How could I have told you anything other than what you wanted to hear. Because I love you, starlight. Because I would do anything for you. Don't you get it? I love you more than anyone else ever could. I would do anything for you. I did do anything for you."

"But you didn't want to…" said Bel, not turning around.

"Well… 'didn't want' is maybe too strong of a term..." said Dipper uncomfortably. "Again, guy…" Mabel could see the tiniest smile on Bel's face. "But you're right. It's not what I would have picked, okay? I would have been happy if things had just stayed how they were. Just best siblings, instead of best… other things…"

"Best fuck twins?" asked Bel. Dipper winced.

"That sounds terrible," said Dipper.

"Brotherly lover? Sisterly sexer!" Bel was smiling wide now. Dipper continued to look more and more uncomfortable with each new invented term.

"Yes!" cried Dipper at last. "Yes, all those things, Mabel! I would have been just as happy without the sex! I'm not saying it wasn't good! Because - " he looked at the camera, seemingly haven forgotten it was on. He moved his hand towards it but Bel stopped him.

"Oh no, she gets to hear all this too, tell her how much you liked it," said Bel with a mirthless grin.

"Mabel, come on, don't - " protested Dipper.

"Tell her!" demanded Bel.

"A lot," related Dipper. "I liked it a lot."

"Boo! Lame!" complained Bel.

"Look, yes, I enjoyed it, starlight! Okay!" cried Dipper. "Happy?" Bel shook her head, not angry but clearly not satisfied. "Can you let me finish, please?" Bel nodded. "I enjoyed it because it was you Mabel. But I would have enjoyed doing almost anything with you!"

"Almost anything?" she asked.

"Anything but losing you…" whispered Dipper. Bel's face went tight. "I knew that if I rejected you. If I said it wasn't what I wanted, you… I would lose you. Even if you stayed, you would close yourself off from me."

"Dipper…" she whispered. Dipper shook his head.

"You would have," said Dipper.

"No… I mean… I don't know," muttered Bel looking away, as if questioning herself for the first time.

"You needed it so much from me," said Dipper. "I could see it, I could feel it. If I had said no, you would have laughed it off, or cried, or done something but then just gone back to normal. But you wouldn't have been normal. You would have hated yourself, guilted yourself… and you never would've told me…" he looked pointedly at Bel and she looked away.

"I made the only choice I had," continued Dipper. "The only choice where I didn't lose you. And I'm not going to lie to you about it anymore, okay? It was hard. It wasn't what I wanted. What we were doing, where we were going, it freaked me out? I know it's wrong. I know everything about it is messed up. Mabel we had - you know… together and we lied about it. To everyone.

"But when I was with you whether it was just talking or lying around, cuddling in bed or having sex, it didn't matter. Because you were still there, you were still with me, alright? And if I had said no that day. We could have talked, or laid around or even cuddled but you wouldn't have been there, not really.

"And I don't regret my choice to love you," continued Dipper, he put his hand under Bel's chin and lifted it up so that she was looking at him. "I don't regret one second of it. If I had to do it all again. If we went back in time and you asked me again. I would make exactly the same choices. Because I'm here for you, no matter what you ask from me.

"If you want me to be your brother, I will be. If you want me to be your twin, I am. If you need me to be your lover - " he leaned forward and kissed Bel softly on the lips. The two of them closed their eyes sharing the deeply intimate moment. Dipper pulled back but Bel kept her eyes closed, lips still partly open, "then I'll always be. Because I love you, starlight. I love you more than anything else. I love you more than anyone else." His eyes finally turned back to the camera. "You know where to find the rest, May." The video ended.

Mabel felt her heart trying to leap out of her chest. She felt her brain trying to rationalize everything she had just learned. It was impossible to get her head around it all. She was all messed up inside right now. Emotions and sensations and butterflies and ants all raced through her, over her.

What the fuck had she just watched?