After getting kicked out of Magnus' apartment, Alec took a deep breath and headed to the Institute. He kept replaying Magnus' words in his head as he walked through the front doors. The group of mourners had broken up into only a few remaining shadowhunters. Including a group made up of Clary, Izzy, and Jace. When Alec got close enough, his friends turned their attention to him.

"Alec, have you seen…" Clary began

"Before you say anything, I need to get something off my chest," Alec said as the other three nodded. "I feel terrible about what happened to your mother. I know it wasn't me, but it was my hands that did the act. I have so much guilt, and it burns. I just want to apologize for what I did and to let you know how terrible I feel. I'm sorry."

"Alec, none of us blame you. I know you think we do, but we don't. I forgive you, and I know the others do too. Just remember it wasn't you," Clary reassured him, bringing Alec in for a hug. After she backed away, Jace also hugged Alec and reassured him; no blame was put on his head.

"So, what were you about to say before I interrupted you?" Alec asked, wiping away a tear that had rolled down his cheek. He wanted to change the subject after getting all that off his chest.

"Have you seen, Carly? She was acting strangely and ran out of the Institute. She was hiding in this bathroom before she left. And when I opened the door…" Clary said, opening the bathroom door to reveal the mess inside. Isabelle and Jace had already seen the interior, but Alec had not. As he stepped inside, he saw the broken mirror, glass, and bloodied toilet paper.

"I saw her at Magnus'," Alec muttered, turning to face his friends.

"Wait, really?" Isabelle asked.

Alec nodded. "To clear my head, I went to Magnus' to talk to him. After a chat, there was a bang at the door. I readied my bow as Carly came running in. Magnus helped her to the couch and kicked me out, saying that Carly didn't want me to see what he was helping her with. But as I was pushed out the door, I noticed Carly was hiding her right hand in her sweatshirt pocket. I'm guessing the hand she used to punch the mirror."

"We should go get her," Clary said, ready to leave right then and there.

"I say we leave her be," Isabelle retorted.

"What?" Clary asked with surprise.

"If she's with Magnus, she's safe. Besides, if she doesn't want us to know, then we shouldn't pry. When Carly returns to the Institute, you can talk to her," Isabelle pointed out as the group silently agreed. Clary was a little hesitant but knew prying wouldn't help.


I made my way to the lobby and got stuck in my thoughts. Magnus might be able to find something, but there was also the chance he didn't. I could go dark, and I really didn't want to do that, so I went with my only other option. I took a taxi to Hotel Dumort and banged on the back door.

"Raphael!" I yelled.

"Have you finally decided to accept my offer?" Raphael asked with a smirk.

"Do you know how to fix it?" I asked, pulling my hand from my pocket so he could see the black veins across my skin.

"I might. Are you willing to let me help?" he asked.

"Yes, please..."

"I've been a vampire for 60 years, which has given me time to study history. There was a case hundreds of years ago of a man being experimented on with demon blood. They wanted to make him the key to ending the war his people were stuck in. These people believed if injected, they could get super speed and strength. What they didn't know, were the side effects that came along with it," Raphael explained, appearing behind me. I jumped as he whispered in my ear, "The eyes. The urges. The evil of it."

"Thanks for the history lesson, but I actually need something to help me," I said, shivering beneath his breath.

Raphael smiled as he walked around, so we were face to face once again. "I wasn't finished. Once they realized what they had created, they tried to cure him. They needed a fighter, not a monster. So they tried everything from magic to medicine, but nothing worked. As a last-ditch effort, they started to drain the blood from his body. What they discovered was that if drained of blood, the symptoms from the demon blood vanish."

"So, that's why you wanted to help me. You just wanted my blood," I said, backing away from him. I grabbed for my blade, only to realize I had left it at the Institute when I ran.

"Vampires cannot drink a demon's blood because it is like acid, and the same goes for angel blood. But when you mix angel or demon with a human's blood, it's intoxicating. Angel/human tastes like fresh fruit. Demon/human tastes rich like a chocolate cake," Raphael cooed, licking his lips as he stepped forward.

"If you want allies, this is not the way to go about it. I would rather not be drained to a husk out in the alley at your shitty hotel. So, if you don't mind, I'm going to leave," I said as I turned toward the busy street. I walked about two steps before Raphael appeared in front of me, blocking my only way out.

"Carly, you're one of the only shadowhunters I don't completely hate," Raphael admitted, walking forward as I backed away.

"That's because I haven't done anything to you that made you hate me," I said, searching for an exit.

"That is true. As I said, I help you, you help me. By draining your blood, you'll become human for your last few moments, and I get a tasty treat. I could take enough where you live, and that should do the trick, but I'm not in the mood for half a meal," Raphael said, his fangs extending.

I backed into the brick siding of the Hotel Dumort. "Come to your senses. You kill me, the Clave will be on your ass in minutes. Do you really want to break the accords so that you can get a meal?"

"If I killed you, I think the Clave would thank me; one more chink in the chain unraveled," Raphael explained, appearing inches from my face. "Honestly, you should be thanking me. I'm helping you get out of this."

"Thank you for what?" I exclaimed with sarcasm on the tip of my tongue. "Drinking me like a juice box?"

"I'm going to miss that sass, Carly. I truly am."

Raphael grabbed a hold of my chin, tilting my head to the side. I tried to push him off, but fighting against a vampire was useless when you had no weapon. He closed in on my neck as I felt his hot breath on my skin.

Suddenly, his grasp disappeared, and so did his breath. I opened my eyes to find Raphael on the other side of the alley with Simon between us.

"Little Simon, pretending to be the big bad vampire prince. You won't always be there to rescue her," Raphael sneered.

"Maybe not. But at least I can protect her now," Simon snapped.

"I won't be the only vampire or downworlder out there that will want to hunt you, Carly. Watch your back," Raphael warned, vanishing from the alley.

Once he was out of sight, Simon turned and ran to my side. He looked me over to ensure I wasn't hurt, pulling me in for a hug.

He moved back with worry. "What were you thinking coming here all by yourself?"

"It was nothing, okay." I said, pulling away from him. I turned away and hid my hand in my pocket.

"What's wrong?" Simon asked.

"Nothing," I said, stepping back only for Simon to pull me forward.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not," I denied, shaking my head.

"Whenever you lie, you tap your finger against your thigh. And that's what you're doing right now," Simon said as we both looked down to see my finger tapping on my thigh. Once I noticed it, I stopped immediately, and then he repeated himself, "What's wrong?"

"Why do you care so much?" I snapped.

"I care because I'm your friend and all that crap that just happened with your mom and Jace is hard. I don't like to see you hurting, okay," Simon snapped back.

"Then stop caring. Caring for me will just make things worse for you. So stop. I don't want to pull you down with me," I retorted.

Simon shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere, even if I get pulled down with you."

"Why would you risk your life for mine?" I asked as I looked up into his eyes.

"Because I love you."

Simon grabbed a hold of my face. I didn't know what was happening until his lips were on mine. He wasn't rough or attacking, but light and feathery. His lips danced on mine, being as light as possible so he wouldn't hurt me. When he backed away, I was out of breath.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," Simon muttered, stumbling back a step.

"Simon, wait…"

He was gone. I looked down the street as my arm started to burn, and I mean really burn. It felt like someone had ignited my arm with gasoline. I pulled up my sweatshirt sleeve to see my veins grow about an inch. Making it now halfway to my elbow.

The feeling of flames extinguished, and the pain stopped. I pulled my sweatshirt sleeve back down as I called for a taxi. Minutes later, I was at the Institute's front doors, and Clary was right behind me.

"Where have you been?" Clary asked.

"I was at Magnus'," I said, pushing past her. I made my way to my bedroom as she followed close behind.

Once I got to the door, ready to go inside, she again got in my way, "I saw what you did to the bathroom."

"I got angry and punched a mirror, no big deal," I said, opening the door, only for Clary to close it.

"It is a big deal. I know everything that just happened is hard on you, and I want to help. I lost mom too, and I might not have demon blood, but I can try to understand," Clary begged with pleading eyes. She was trying to be nice, but me being me, I declined.

"You'll never understand, Clary. I'm not like you, who shares and cries. I bottle everything up inside until I explode. That bathroom mess was me exploding. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get some shut-eye," I said, entering my room and closing the door. But right before I got it closed, Clary put her foot in between the door and the frame, "What now, Clary?"

"I'm not going to ask to help you again. If and when you need someone to talk to, I'll be there. But did Magnus heal your hand?" Clary asked.

"No, I wanted it to heal on its own," I said, still hiding my hand in my sweatshirt pocket.

"Great. That's good. Before I go, Max is having his celebration for getting his first rune. Alec is organizing the party, and it'll be at Magnus' tomorrow night. You don't have to go, but maybe it'll distract you for a while," Clary offered.

"I'll think about it," I said as she finally let me close the door. I locked it, and belly-flopped onto the bed.

I flipped over so I would be on my back. The darkness within me was growing, my best friend kissed me, and now I have to get ready for a party tomorrow evening. Just great…