"I've never seen you this… torn up."

"You need to stop this. You're hurting yourself."

"You think you're not worth it."

"Take my hand. That's it, see? You're okay now. I won't let you go."

"All this time, I thought you hated me."

"I can't stop thinking about you… I can't."

"I love you and I can't stand it."


Pain rippled through the new Supreme Leader's chest as he fought the tears that were already falling down his cheeks. Bowing his head he settled his face in his hands, his fingers brushing through his long dark hair.

Snoke was right. Killing Han Solo had broken him further, had only served to worsen the war inside of him.

And now Rey, the force-sensitive scavenger girl, had refused his offer, his plea. He wanted to give her everything she so desired, the family and a place to belong that she envisioned. He wanted to rule the galaxy with her by his side, brining a new First Order to the galaxy together.

She had refused him, had rejected him.

He finally understood this constant, unwavering feeling he had towards her. The compassion that Snoke had implied? It was love. He loved this girl from Jakku, this nobody scavenger. She was nobody, but not to him. She was everything to him.

The soft, sharp intake of breath caught his attention as the force brought them together. "I've never," she paused, "I've never seen you this…this torn up." Forcing himself to look up he didn't even bother trying to hide the pain and tears from her, she would see it eventually. Her big eyes stared into his own, like they were combing through his every thought. She wasn't, she was untrained, and he would feel it even if she was trained. "You need to stop this." She told him with sad eyes, "You're hurting yourself." Her voice cracked, and he saw the pain bubbling up inside of her too. He wasn't the only one hurting and part of him felt glad that she was in pain just like he was, she had refused him, she had shredded his heart when he offered her the whole galaxy. Looking down, avoiding her piercing teary-eyed gaze, he saw the scratches, marks, and bruises on his skin; the tears, rips, and burns in his clothes. In his pain, his anger, he lashed out at anything and everything, often injuring himself in the process.

In his pain, he let more walls down just so she could see the destruction she had caused, had wrecked upon him. Everybody left him, and she wasn't the exception. He never truly got anything he wanted. When he was a child he wanted the unconditional love and attention of his parents, but the Resistance was his mother's first responsibility and when he showed signs of being force sensitive they sent him off with his uncle Luke. When he was older he still wanted that love, but he also wanted approval from his parents and his teacher, his Uncle Luke. As Snoke's apprentice he wanted to rise to the level of his grandfather, Darth Vader, to be exactly what his new teacher saw for him, the potential to excel and to earn the approval of the Supreme Leader. Then he met the light that was Rey, and he wanted her, he coveted her. And she too pushed him away.

"You think you're not worth it." Her voice was low and thick as she swallowed.

"I'm a monster." He replied dejectedly. "You've said so yourself."

"Perhaps." She sucked in a shaky breath, "But anybody capable of love," His eyes shot up to hers, "Is capable of being saved." She had not just seen the turmoil he had presented to her, but also the emotions he had tried to squash.

Reaching forward she seemed to plead with him, "Take my hand." Her voice quivered, and he swallowed thickly, unable to refuse. Slowly he raised his hand and their fingers wound together gently. A single tear rolled down the already made tracks of tears on her cheeks. "That's it." She came closer, "See?" A peace overcame him, edging away his pain. "You're okay now." Standing inches away from him she promised, "I've got you, you're not alone and I won't let you go."

Another feeling edged in and he realized it wasn't coming from him, but from her. "All this time, I thought you hated me." He choked out as her emotions washed over him. "You should hate me."

"I Just," she paused, "I can't stop thinking about you Ben…" she shook her head, her hair falling over her shoulder, "I can't." she admitted aloud, her voice sounding small. "Ben, I can't stop thinking about you because I-I love you. I love you and I can't stand it." His grip on her hand tightened as a flare of hurt spasmed through him. "You're right, I should hate you, but I don't. You should hate me too, but you don't. I'm not supposed to feel this way, we're not supposed to feel this way." She looked down, accepting not just his hold on her hand, but his hold on her. "I don't understand it, but I don't want it to stop."

Her hand softly caressed his cheek, and he leaned into her touch, her thumb wiping away his tears. Closing his eyes, he enjoyed the sensations, her physical touch and her emotions through the force. With a sigh he pulled her other hand, still entwined with his own larger one, up to his lips and pressed a kiss on her knuckles.

They stayed that way until the connection broke, still feeling the fading touch of the other even after it was over. "I'm coming Ben, I'm coming." He could hear her even across the whole galaxy. "I'm coming."