Dim light in a thin line.

Then full sun, shining.

Not sun at all but the standing lamp, left on.

Carrot circling his legs, a fuzzy purr on four paws and cradling his beloved, in his arms, stuck like glue, in the recliner.

Worth being in America for, this little spark of happiness, in his otherwise grey sky life.

A rumble and twitch against him.

'Num num num.'

A slight roll. Wade held the body, kissed the forehead, gently touched the eyelids, smiled.

'Uhrum num num...Kane?'

'KANE?!'

A bellow and a yelp following when Wade dropped him.

He'd DROPPED his husband, splat-thud! right on the floor, thank Her Majesty for the thick rug.

'Ow.' Heath blinked and lay flat on the rug, face up. 'Hey you have a CAT!'

'It's a goldfish in disguise I assure you. '

'How did...how am...oh I was asleep.'

'Practically comatose. Why are you dreaming about Kane?!'

'We were married.'

'Dear lord and lady.' Wade sat with a thump, brow creased, same lines wrinkled around each eye. 'How long HAVE I been gone?'

'Too.' Heath replied, managed to get to his feet. Can you imagine how much I hurt every week, five weeks now without you at work?!'

'Same as it hurts ME you're dreaming about...other men. Besides you wanted me gone.'

'I wanted you with me, but...'

'But?'

Four hands gripped and held, four eyes saw the other face and nothing else.

Minute of no air in the room, sweet suffication.

'I'm what you've always called me, a failure.'

'i've called you a twit, idiot, imbecile, never a loser.'

'I've failed my children...our kids, letting them die-'

'You didn't-'

'And my friends, everybody...'

'You haven't-'

'Drew would rather be solo and hell, I don't KNOW why Jinder stays. I'll ruin his life and career too.'

'Nonsense.' Wade commented. 'Jinder has a pet cow. He has no life.'

'I can't deal with sarcastic insult jokes now.'

'Apologies.'

'No need. I've been thinking.'

Wade bit his tongue and bit it hard.

'Justin thinks he's a curse, what with his dad's death and his sister stuck in a wolf dog body, but it's not Jay Gee at all, it's ME that's the failure and I'll not hurt or bring down any one I love anymore.'

Fingers tightened on skin. 'Don't take your life.'

'Not that...no, I... I'm going to break out of your life, leave it so you won't suffer any longer.'

'I'll suffer withOUT you not with, you fool!'

'You've been losing matches!'

'I don't care! and those losses weren't because of you!'

'I HAVE to do this.'

'Please don't.' Wade never begged, never pleaded. But he did now. 'I lost George and I refuse to let you go.'

'You'll be better off without me, you and the other guys.'

'they won't. And i'd die.'

'You'll be happy.'

'I'll fall apart.'

'No.' Heath kissed his love then, the first they'd shared in several weeks. 'You're strong and I'm nothing.'

'I refuse to divorce you.'

'No divorce. But we drift apart, it'll be fine.'

One rain drop fell on tattooed arms.

'Don't leave me. Stay for always, I need you.'

'You'll make it through, me I'll ruin some other guy's life.'

'Don't go.' a tiny weak whisper.

Carrot stopped purring at their feet.

The sky had lost its blue.

Grey and stormy.

Indoor rain falling, dampening both human faces.