DON'T KILL ME!

I am so sorry it has been FOREVER since I've updated, and I have a very good reason: writers block.

My mind went a total blank on how this story would continue, and I didn't want to post any ish for the sake of an update. That would be very wrong to the people who are actually enjoying this story. And from the numbers, it looks like a lot of you are.

First off, THANK YOU!

Second, I'm actually curious to know why this story has gotten 81,750 reads, 158 favs, and 254 followers. I know some author's stories have more, but to me, those numbers are astonishing. And I really can't figure out why lol. Maybe you guys can leave a review and tell me?

Oh, and to address a guest who left the review about not being able to finish the story because apparently I write Drinny cuz I fangirl and crush Felton?

First off. Thanks for reading.

Second off, not true. I crush Rupert Grint and Louis Cordice :)

Third, why do people always have to make it seem like the only reason they write a story is because of the person that plays them? Come on now. Tom Felton is cute, but never was he on my radar, he's a just a sweet guy to me. But oh no, I have to be a fangirl to write DRACO MALFOY having a love interest.

Maybe I like writing Drinny BECAUSE I LIKE DRACO AND GINNY TOGETHER. Funny how this is a story that has Draco in it, and not Tom Felton. Come on people, stop that.

So anyways, sorry Romione fans, but V-Day for them won't be written. I PROMISE I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU GUYS! But I needed to story to progress and get serious again. All of them still have a long way to go and are still healing. But as I said, I will make up for it. I will never do Ron and Hermione dirty.

On with the fic :)


All the promises I made

Just to let you down

You believed in me, but I'm broken

I have nothing left

And all I feel is this cruel wanting

We've been falling for all this time

And now I'm lost in paradise

As much as I'd like the past not to exist

It still does

And as much as I'd like to feel like I belong here

I'm just as scared as you

I have nothing left

And all I feel is this cruel wanting

We've been falling for all this time

And now I'm lost in paradise

-Evanescence Lost In Paradise


Chapter 39: Birthday Presents

On the morning of Ron's 19th birthday, Ron woke up to Hermione's gentle kisses on his cheek. He smiled and hugged her sleepily to his body, as if she were a stuffed animal.

"Ron, you're crushing me." giggled Hermione playfully as she pretended to struggle inside of his bear hug.

Ron let go of his girlfriend and stretched his long arms over his head. "Feels great to have a birthday where I won't have to worry about if I'll survive it." he said as he put his hands behind his head. He glanced down at the foot of their bed and was astonished.

There, at the end of the bed, was a pile of presents that almost reached the ceiling. Some big, some small, some oddly wrapped, and some that weren't wrapped at all.

"Mione, I don't have this many friends..." he said slowly as he climbed out of bed. Hermione got out of the bed too, her wand in her hand.

"These must be from other people." said Hermione. "You know...fans I guess?"

Ron laughed as Hermione checked the pile for Dark objects with her wand. "Fans? Why the bloody hell would I have fans?"

"Language, and have you forgotten that you helped save the wizarding world?" said Hermione, tossing her wand onto the bed when she seen that everything was fine.

"Yeah, I did, but Harry was the hero."

"And so was you. And I. And Neville and anyone else who fought on the war and helped Harry defeat Voldemort. So, you have earned yourself some admirers."

Ron shook his head. Hermione's words were slightly overwhelming. He never imagined that people he didn't even know would actually admire him for doing the right thing.

He looked at the pile of gifts. He felt conflicted. Should he simply accept them, or just send them back to their owners. He felt like he didn't deserve any of them.

Hermione practically read his mind as she looked at the expressions on his face changed. "Go in, Ron. They're safe, and you deserve them." she said, tossing him a small present, which he swiftly caught.

He opened the envelope that was attached to the package. In it was a note.

To Ron Weasley,

You don't know me, but I'm Euan Abercrombie's mother. We haven't met, but I had heard great things about you. My son had seemed to look up to you. He said that you were the first older kid to be nice to him his first year, and that you had looked after him, teaching him a lot of things. The way he would speak on you, it was like you were a big brother to him. I appreciate that, and I'm sure he did too.

You probably know that he didn't survive the battle at Hogwarts. According to his friends, he decided to sneak back with a boy named Colin Creevey and fight. He was only 13.

I didn't know much about your world, only what Euan would tell me. He was, after all, a Muggleborn, and me being a muggle, I was not accustomed to the wizarding world until his Head of House came and brought his Hogwarts letter. His father and I were frightened to send him at first, but he was so adamant on going that we couldn't say no.

I'm sorry to ramble, but I felt compelled to send this to you. Enclosed is Euan's Hogwarts letter, as well as a photograph of you and him, his Gryffindor badge, and his wand. Do not worry about us, we have our memories and things of his to remember him by. Something inside of me felt like he would have wanted you to have them.

Thank you for being my son's hero, Ron Weasley. You will not be forgotten.

With love,

Sharon and Gregory Abercrombie

Ron wipes away a tear that he hasn't realized he had shed until he had finished the letter. He remembered little Euan Abercrombie very well. The boy had came a long way from the timid firstie being teased about his bloodline in a very short time. He knew nothing of Euan's third year, but he remembered Euan and his little friends taking on bullies half their size at twelve years old. He remembered teaching the boy how to play chess, helping him a couple times with his flying, and surprisingly with homework from time to time.

He remembered seeing Euan being brought in during the first break in the battle. He had been placed two bodies down from Fred, however, Ron was too distraught over his brother to acknowledge him properly. He did however stop by his casket and place a hand on it during the mass funeral.

When he opened the box, he felt his breath catch in his throat. Euan's wand was wrapped in his Gryffindor scarf. It was a bit shorter than Ron's, and it was made out of cherry wood. He sat the wand gently into his bed along with the scarf and badge and looked at the picture. It was taken Euan's first year from the looks of it. Had to have been Colin's candid doing, because it was of Ron trying to reach the eager boy how to play chess. Ron remembered that day quite vividly.

It was the afternoon after their first quidditch match of the season. Ron was already feeling like shit because of the way he had played, and that ridiculous song the Slytherins were taunting him with. Euan had asked him to help him learn chess, which he figured he was put up to do that by Hermione, and he had reluctantly agreed. Two hours into the lesson and Ron was feeling a bit better, as Euan was a fast learner, and he was also being as encouraging as he could about Ron's quidditch playing.

He sat on the bed and watched the two of them in the photograph. Ron was pointing out one of the pieces and Euan was telling him something that must have amused him, because he gave the boy a smile and nod.

Hermione sat down beside him, rubbing his back. She could see that Ron was trying desperately to hold back his other tears. He always tried to be strong for others. He did it so much that he would hold back his own emotions until they exploded out of him. That was something Hermione knew she didn't want to happen.

"Do you wanna-"

"No," said Ron quickly but quietly. He put the items back in the box and placed it on the dresser.

"Ron, please..."

"I said I don't want to talk about it, Hermione." snapped Ron unintentionally.

Hermione put up her hands in surrender. She them sent back over to the pile and picked up another present.

"Do you want to open this one?" she asked, holding a small but beautifully decorated box.

"You can open it." said Ron solemnly.


About an hour later, they had gotten through the presents. Amongst them were gifts from friends and family, but the vast majority came from either total strangers that were just thankful for his services, or parents of students that he helped or had lost their lives. He got more photos that Colin Creevey had taken candidly from him father, a heartfelt card from the mother of a fourth year that had spoke highly of Ron, and even fudge from Andromeda Tonks, who said that Tonks spoke nothing but wonderful things about him and that she was excited to have Teddy learn from the three of them.

Ron sat back down on the bed, holding in his hands a signed Chudley Cannons shirt that was sent to him from their star seeker. Hermione sat down beside him again, rubbing his back.

"I'd wish you would stop holding it all in." she said, laying her head on his shoulder.

"Well I'm used to it, aren't I?" said Ron with a huff. "Not really saying everything that's wrong because someone else needed something, not just me."

"You don't have to so that with me though, Ron." said Hermione softly. "Just tell me what's bothering you."

Ron sighed. He didn't want to open up. He didn't want to say how he felt. He didn't want to seem like he was taking his frustrations out on her.

"I just...I don't deserve this. Any of this." began Ron. "What did I do, Hermione? Get myself fucking splinched so I would be a burden to the hunt, then caved to that fucking horcrux and abandon you and Harry-"

"Ron, stop blaming-"

"And then I sat and relaxed for over a month with my brother in his wife, while you and Harry were Merlin knows where, cold and fucking hungry, and then what?" continued Ron, getting up and pacing the floor, "I was locked away screaming like a fucking idiot while you were needing tortured out of your mind, I almost botched shit in the vault, and then to get to school and not even watch out for people. Euan was a fucking third year. A THIRD YEAR! He was only 13! And I didn't protect him! I didn't protect my brother, I didn't protect Colin, I didn't go with Harry, he had to face that lunatic all alone, and all of these people list someone, Hermione! And here I am being awarded for doing nothing?! He was 13! I told him that I'd be there for him!"

He threw the shirt down onto the floor. Then, he himself fell to his knees and began to sob, allowing all of his emotions to come out.

Hermione knelt down beside him. She couldn't help shedding tears of her own as she hugged him to her, running her fingers gently through his hair.

"Ron, you have got to stop fighting yourself for the things that happened, especially the things you had no control over." whispered Hermione soothingly in Ron's ear. "None of us knew what would happen. That horcrux messed with us in horrible ways. It told me that my parents hated me for what I did to them. That you and Harry only kept me around to use me because I was smart. And that you...you didn't love me at all."

Ron lifted his head from Hermione's chest. "You didn't believe that, surely." he said bewildered.

Hermione nodded. "From time to time, yes, I did. And I would snap at you and Harry, or just not talk. It made me feel like running away sometimes."

"But you didn't. And I did."

"And you came back, Ron. And you stayed, and you did what you could and fought beside us." said Hermione as she cupped his cheeks with her hands. "You were there for Harry just like always. You didn't know that Euan and Colin would come back, nor did you know about what was going to happen with Fred. They felt the need to fight, and they bravely gave their lives. I heard Euan took out a Death Eater before he was killed. Don't blame yourself. Voldemort and the Death Eaters did this. Not you. And you're their hero. Embrace it for once, yeah?"

Ron nodded in Hermione's hands. For the first time in what seemed like ages, he actually felt better about what happened. Maybe he could finally bury his guilt and be done with it. He still missed his brother, Euan, and Colin. Along with others that he knew that had died. But he was finally learning not to blame himself.

"I love you," he whispered as he looked into the eyes of his angel. Hermione had no clue how much she meant to him. He vowed to himself to show her how much every day.

"I love you too, you git." said Hermione, kissing him softly. "Now, let's clean all this up before the rest of them get here.

"I have a better idea to pass the time than to clean." said Ron as he rose from the floor, pulling Hermione up with him.

"You're so randy, but you'll have to wait." said Hermione, as Ron wrapped his arms around her and began kissing her neck. "Especially since-"

"Hey, you losers in there?" yelled a voice from the other side of their bedroom door. Ron rolled his eyes, knowing instantly that it was Ginny.

"It's my birthday," sighed Ron, playfully. "Why can't I enjoy my own birthday?"