Disclaimer: I own nothing! Except perhaps the massive amounts of OOCness and ridiculousness. If it seems like it could fit in the manga or the anime, it doesn't belong to me.

Warning: major OOCness on most characters in this chapter. It wouldn't have been half as funny if they had truly been in character.

Chapter 23: Reborn's Introduction to Vongola Decimo Interrogation

It was ridicules. It was impossible. It was ludicrous. It was... happening. Reborn, the Strongest Hit-Man, was tied up in a stereotypical interrogation room. You know, those creepy dark rooms with the straight back chair sitting under a single, bare blub hanging from the roof. Yeah, Reborn was tied to that straight backed chair under that single bare bulb. How did this happen, you ask? Not even Reborn could tell you that. The last thing he remembered was walking down the hall, toward his formerly no-good student's office... no wait. He remembered opening the door with his trademark smirk, seeing Tsuna's face looking like a chunk of chiseled marble, and then a curious sensation taking over and Tsuna vanishing then... nothing. It all went black and then he woke up in the unimaginative room with that annoying light bulb that buzzed just loud enough to drive him crazy. And where was Leon? That green, shape-shifting chameleon never left his side! 'Much like how you never get caught and tied to a hard wooden chair under a single, buzzing, bare bulb,' his treacherous mind supplied. He growled slightly, and then the door opened and in walked... "Hibari? What are you doing?" Yes, it was Hibari Kyoya, the Demon of Namimori, dressed in an American cop uniform and twirling Alude's Handcuffs on his left index finger.

"Reborn of the Vongola, formerly of the Acrobaleno, have you ever dealt drugs?" Hibari asked. Reborn was puzzled.

"I'm a hit-man. I was never the dealer, only the shadow with a gun aimed at whoever came to do business," Reborn answered. "Now whats the big idea? Why are you holding me here? And how did you do it for that matter?" he demanded, more puzzled than he cared to admit. Hibari's eyes grew, if possible, colder than when he entered. A cuff latched on to his arm and began to constrict. That was when Reborn noticed that one of his arms had been freed. His eyes grew wide. When had that happened?

"I ask the questions here, convict!" he hiss/yelled, yanking on the cuff's chain and nearly causing Reborn, chair and all, to fall to the floor. Reborn hissed faintly as the circulation in his arm was slowly cut off. "Now tell me, have you been dealing drugs?" Hibari asked again, his voice dangerously soft.

"I told you! I was never the dealer!" Reborn answered, wondering vaguely why he was playing along with this. He wasn't really scared... not really. Why should he be? And why was Hibari questioning him? Come to think of it, why was Hibari dressed as an American cop? Shouldn't it at least be a Japanese cop, or possibly an Italian cop? Why American? Reborn's rather loopy thoughts were cut off as Hibari narrowed his eyes and jerked the hit-man closer, stopping his journey to the floor with a punch to the gut.

"I have reason to believe that you have been handing out a special brand of crack to the Varia and Vongola. What do you have to say for yourself?" he asked. Reborn gaped at the Cloud Guardian.

"Wha?" came his intelligent response. Then the door flew open and in stalked(yes, stalked) Tsuna, his eyes blazing.

"I was fighting Xanxus, and then he started singing! He started singing, 'I'll Make a Man out of You' in Italian. DURING OUR FIGHT! He even had back up singers! Don't ask where he got them, I have no idea. Just like I have no idea where the freak'n mariachi band that played accompaniment came from. When he finally calmed down, which took a long time might I add! I asked him why he did it and he couldn't remember doing it! Do you know what the last thing he remembered was? Taking a new drug called, wait for it... Reborn Crack! Is there something you aren't telling me, Reborn? If you are handing out drugs to the Varia I think I have a right to know! And it wasn't just the Varia. Oh no! No, it was Gokudera too! And Shoichi! Shoichi Reborn how could you? Byakuran I can understand but Shoichi? Why? It even got Haru! Then again... I had always suspected that some of the sugar in her tea wasn't sugar, but that is beside the point! Reborn, how could you have been making crack and distributing it throughout the familia? You know how I feel about drugs!" he ranted. Reborn felt himself cringing away from his student, who couldn't seem to make up his mind if he wanted to be mad, indignant, calm, or disappointed. Actually, that blend made a very good chastising voice. If only it hadn't been directed at him, Reborn might have felt proud. However, it is hard to feel proud of the Mafia Boss glaring down at you like an unhappy father or an uncle that just caught you stealing his favorite car.

"I... I... What crack?" Reborn sputtered. How could they be doing this to him? Reborn couldn't remember the last time he had sputtered.

"Roll the tape!" Tsuna called, giving a rather unremarkable corner his Finger of Doom. The wall in front of Reborn lit up and revealed itself to be a giant monitor. What followed was a video of Gokudera, Squalo, Xanxus, Mukuro, Hibari, Byakuran, Shoichi, and, to a lesser extent, Tsuna and Yamamoto; as well as a few others; acting as if on 'Reborn Crack.' It would have been fairly good evidence, had it not been for the introduction tag after Gokudera's entrance and the credits. Reborn felt his head drop.

"You had me. How did you get me?" he questioned. Tsuna screwed up his face in thought.

"That... is an excellent question. You've been out of it for a while now. You didn't realize that my Flame output was high just before you opened the door, and you have yet to realize that this room... is in fact an illusion. Are you feeling alright Reborn? Perhaps you're sick. Honestly, I didn't think it would be this easy to trick you," Tsuna said. Reborn shook his head.

"How many others have seen this?" he asked. Tsuna's eyes glinted.

"All involved." Reborn gulped.

"May the messengers and the uploader rest in peace," he said. Tsuna laughed.

"Actually, they took it fairly well. Byakuran laughed and said his part was brilliant. Shoichi was indifferent, Xanxus was pleased with his song choice; along with the fact that it was in Italian. Mukuro used it to come up with new torture illusions. Yamamoto laughed saying that he had a sane part to play in the video while Squalo roared for a good five minutes and had to have Lussuria hold him back from trying to hunt the uploader down. Me and Hibari? I wasn't too offended and Hibari... well...this was his idea, believe it or not. Mukuro just loves messing with people's minds so he joined in rather quickly. As for why I went along with it... I just wanted to see how it felt to be on the other end of the 'what-the-heck-is-going-on?' look. It has been a rather rewarding experience. Oh and, this isn't the only one. This uploader has two videos in this vein. 'Reborn Crack' and 'Reborn Crack 2.' Though, if I ever catch you handing out something like that..." Tsuna trailed off and Hibari threw a cuff around the hit-man's chest and pulled it tight with a jerk, yanking his shoulder straight into Tsuna's fist. "This will seem like a walk in the park," the young don breathed in his ear, causing involuntary shivers to run down his back. Tsuna smiled a predatory smile and walked out, Hibari trailing behind him. It had been a fun experiment, but not one they were likely to be able to replicate. Reborn would likely be back to normal within the week. However, it goes without saying, Reborn never dealt in drugs and made especially sure his hands stayed clean of that business after the Decimo style interrogation. Tsuna was terrifying when he played off Hibari.

A/N: Yeah, it didn't turn out quite like I wanted, but I think it's still kinda funny. The next one shall be something that people have been asking for for a while, but it's not exactly funny. After that, well... let's just say the Mafia Rangers were something of a warm up. Let me know what you thought of this chapter and I'll update within the next three days. I try to post every two days. It gives people a chance to read and review before the next one comes out. Aren't I nice? Yeah, I know I'm sarcastic. I don't care.

To RawwrMage: Yeah, you were the only one. Hope you enjoy this one as well!