Authors Note: It has been brought to my attention that Natsu is acting as an 'ass' in this story. You would be correct dear reviewer. The emotions you feel when suffering a loss are not pretty nor are they easily controlled. Anger and lashing out are expected from those hurting. If this is not to your tastes as he is normally a happy go lucky character then I do apologize, but I did warn that this fanfic is OOC. Personally I think a darker Natsu would be rather sexy. But for those who are not quite as demented as I seem to be, he will lighten up later in the story. I should warn you it will get slightly worse before it gets better and he will have a different 'look' then in the actual anime. You just have to tough out the rough patches to get there readers, and I hope you enjoy the journey.
~ Lucy ~
I was so not prepared for this. Danger I can handle, the fear easy to talk myself out of. Exhaustion and hunger had become like close friends, annoying at times but ever present. Natsu though? Nope. Not ready. The warm slide of tears down my cheeks comes as a surprise and I quickly squeeze them shut in a vein attempt at stopping them. His embrace had been too much for me. Too warm, too comforting; too painful. What? Didn't think I knew how insanely in love with the pink idiot I have become? I'm so fucking in love it physically hurts at times, only worsening after I left. But I couldn't bear to tell the dense boy. I knew I was a hindered. Had known it all along actually, though I hid it well behind a cheerful bravado. I was the farthest thing from worthy of standing beside him in battle, beside any of them really, and I had figured out after that incident that I had to leave before he finally figured it out how crazy about him I was. Bad enough he had come to the ralization that I am weak, but to have him know I also stupidly fell in love with him? I couldn't let that happen, and really my only option had been leaving. Even Natsu wasn't dense enough to miss the gods damned stars shining brighter in my eyes with each passing day.
I am jolted from my inner musings when calloused fingers brush soothingly over my cheeks, gathering the traces of water there with a tenderness only he seemed to posses. Is it any wonder why I loved the moron? The hiss was startling though, my eyes popping open at the alien and downright animistic sound of it. His response to my shock is a growling rumble that could be loosely described as a chuckle, deep and sounding rusty like he hadn't laughed in so long he had forgotten how. By the hardened look in his eyes I am going to go ahead and assume that laughter had not been on his mind in a long while.
"Your not the only one who's changed Luce." Not really an explanation, and I frown at the failed attempt at teasing.
"Nat-"
"Save it Lucy. I need a fucking minute here to calm down before we talk." The steel in his voice takes me aback and my automatic flinch annoys me. Reminding myself that I am not simpering Lucy anymore I stiffen and try to pull away from his touch only to feel his fingers curl into a death grip on my shoulders, my quickly mounting frustration making my voice snap like a whip.
"Fine. Now let go of me."
"Not a fucking chance. Your back from the fucking dead! Don't you understand? I couldn't let go if i wanted to." The break in his voice hurts and as he buries his face in my collarbone I try and understand the hidden meaning I can detect in his words. His deep inhale followed by a satisfied sigh against my skin sends shivers racing down my spine and though I try to keep my voice hard my question comes out breathy instead. "What?"
~ Natsu ~
Ignoring her breathy question I bury myself further into her neck, senses screaming. She still smells like fucking heaven to me, a mix of sunlight and vanilla, still present despite being covered in sweat and grime as she is. As it fills my lungs I realize that keeping my dragon in check is so beyond my reach now its laughable. No fucking way will it let me release her. That waterfall of blonde brushes against my cheek, so soft its a struggle to keep my hands on her shoulder instead of burying them in all that silkiness. I feel both calm and out of control, an odd combination for someone who has been at the edge of insanity for so long.
"Natsu...why are you sniffing me?" Even her voice has changed in an enticing way, huskier then I can remember and racing through my bloodstream to drive me mad. Instincts pound at me, trying to overpower the part of my addled brain that whispers I should back off. I want my mate with an intensity that scares me, but my need for answers is slightly stronger. "Why."
"Why?"
"Why did you leave." The words are sharp on my tongue, the hurt running deep.
"...I..." She would have to do better then that.
"Lucy. Answer me."
"I...had to."
"What the fuck does that mean? Are you out of your mind! You didn't say goodbye, you didn't leave a note. Nothing but your damn keys, which scared the fuck out of me; thanks for that by the way." Rage boils in me, burning my stomach and throat as I forcefully swallow it back.
"You wont understand Natsu." That new husky voice rings with anger now and a thought flashes through my mind that she just got sexier and sexier by the minute. The humorless laugh coming from my mouth surprises me. I didn't know you could be both amused by and wanting to strangle someone.
"Try me."
"I had to do this alone. I had to be more then weak little Lucy!" The hurt in her voice nearly matches my own and I flinch at the pain it brings me to hear it.
"Weak...Lucy?" My mind scrambles to understand and as realization dawns my bubble of rage finally pops, though my voice comes out soft and measured. "Your telling me you disappeared without a fucking word...to go off and train?"
"I told you! You cant understand!" Voice raising a few octaves in a familiar way I remember it would do when we would fight about something I had inadvertently destroyed, I cringe. My sensitive hearing doesn't appreciate the screech like quality of her words, but I wont stop her if she will just give me the answers I so desperately need.
"What the hell did you expect? For all I knew you've been fucking dead for a year! But now your telling me you disappeared on purpose! I'm supposed to just accept that?! You already were strong!"
"No." Only seconds ago her voice was rage filled and cut like a whip, but this emotionless tone is much worse on my psyche.
"No?"
"Don't lie to me Natsu. I heard you. I know."
"Heard me? What are you talking about?" Now I'm just confused.
An annoyed screech assaults my ears and she manages to break my grip in my momentary surprise, stalking a few paces away and though I follow closely I do not reach for her again. "You and 'team' Natsu! The day before I left I came to the guild. Wanna guess who was there? Who else thinks I'm weak and that its annoying that they always have to protect me on missions."
I swear to the gods that my heart fucking froze in my chest. Holy shit. It was me. I'm the reason Lucy left the guild, left her family. Left me. In the back of my mind I feel my legs buckle and I crash to my knees, but I am too lost to try and catch myself. My dragon breaks through the mental cage I had confined it to and releases a roar so filled with pain even the forest shudders. Magics rush through my body, ripping my insides to shreds as my draconic nature flares to life inside of me then claws its way out. The scales that rip from my skin are a slightly deeper shade of red then my own, resembling a demonic blush on my cheekbones. More surface along my sides and arms before a stomach churning crunch of bone sends me onto all fours and a set of wicked flame red wings slowly emerge from my shoulder blades. I had never lost it this bad before and the pain...holy fuck the pain. No stopping now though. Dropping my head back again I do what comes naturally once more. I roar.
