Beginning Our Life
Last Time: Sarah dedicated her guilty pleasure song to her father. And that's what you missed on Beginning Our Life.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any songs that I may put in here.
Last Words
Sarah's Point of View
I woke to a cry from the baby monitor.
"Puck," I whispered, "It's your turn."
He grunted and flipped over.
"Noah," I sighed, "Please."
"I got him last time," he muttered.
I hit the blankets, "Noah."
He covered his head with his pillow, "Sarah."
Angrily, I sat up and rolled out of bed, making sure to kick between Puck's legs while doing so. He mumbled something that I couldn't understand, but I didn't care as I quickly made my way to Nate.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Puck's Point of View
I woke with a start when someone hit me in the face with a pillow, "The hell?"
"Get up," Sarah hissed.
I blinked my eyes to see her fully dressed for school and rocking Nate.
"I said get up," Sarah snapped.
"Yeah, yeah," I sat up, "What's with the bitch mood?"
She held Nate out, "Take your son and be a father for once."
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"It was one in the morning and you wouldn't get up," Sarah stated angrily, "I have school, Noah, so please, take Nate."
I took him, but still said, "I think you're overreacting, I was just tired."
"And I wasn't?" her shrill voice echoed in my head. "I have school which I'm leaving for in five minutes! I was up for an hour and a half, Noah! I have a history test in an hour that I barely studied for and now I'm going to take it on a half night's sleep."
"I'm sorry," I begged, "I understand you're-"
"No, you don't!" she screamed, "You're aloud to stay home with Nate and care for him and I'm stuck in school learning useless crap that I'm never going to use!"
"You have to calm down," I said slowly, "I don't want you to scare Nate."
"God, do you hear yourself?" Sarah asked, "You're all concerned for Nate during the day, but as soon as it hits midnight, you're all me, me, me!"
"If you think that, you don't know me at all," I hissed, "I love Nate, and you, and I would always drop everything for you guys."
"Really? Really?" Sarah crossed her arms, "For some reason, I doubt that, but you know, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I wish that'd I done this alone...or at least never have slept with you because if I'd have known we were going to bring a baby in the world that wasn't going to be loved, I wouldn't have done it."
My eyes widened and I sat back from the weight of the words, "You're-you're kidding."
She rolled her eyes and marched away, slamming the door shut on the way.
Nate started screaming and I looked down at him dumbfounded, "Am I really a bad dad?"
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Sarah's Point of View
I hopped in my car with a sob. That might be one of the meanest things I've ever said to him, especially since I know that it really hit home. I hit my head to the steering wheel and briefly considered going back inside to apologize, but decided against it and threw the car in reverse to head to school.
On the radio, the first song that came on was Hot for Teacher and I winced. No. Quickly, I changed to another station. Lookin' for a Good Time. Wonderful. Switch. Beth blared through the speakers and I screamed in frustration before completely turning the radio off. I'll just drive to school in silence.
Once there, I ran inside to my locker. I leaned against it with a sigh.
"Rough morning?"
I turned towards Blaine, "You have no idea."
He smiled and gently touched under my eye, "You've been crying."
"Oh my God, you can tell?" I spun back around and opened my locker to look in my mirror. However, there was a picture of Puck and Nate taped to the edge of it. I took in a sharp breath and turned away, "I'll just go to the bathroom."
"No, come on, tell me," Blaine grabbed my shoulders and stared in my eyes, "I'm sure it's fine. We can fix whatever happened. Best friends, right?"
My mouth gaped open and closed. The next thing I knew, I was sobbing into Blaine's stupid Cheerios uniform.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Puck's Point of View
I forcefully started a bottle for Nate while keeping an eye on him in the bassinet.
"Whoa, what's going on?" Finn walked in the kitchen.
"Sarah doesn't think I'm a good father," I stated.
"Ok," he slowly said while coming towards me, "Take it out on a pillow or even me, not a baby bottle." He jerked it from my hand, "Seriously, stop."
I groaned and fell into a chair, "Apparently, she also wishes that we never even slept together."
"Harsh," Finn nodded.
Nate began crying and I hurried to grab him, "I know, you're hungry. Uncle Finn's hogging your bottle."
Finn passed me the formula, "Do you think she meant it?"
I sighed, "I can't imagine life without him, or her. I love him and I don't know what I would have done if we'd given him up. Probably kill myself or something."
"Don't say that," Finn sat across from me.
"It's true," I shrugged, "Losing one kid was hard enough, losing two would really suck."
"I think you should go talk to her," Finn said, "Take her out of school and fix all of this because if Sarah's pissed, everyone's life is going to be miserable."
"Thanks for supporting me," I rolled my eyes.
"No problem," Finn stood, "If you go out, pick me up some food, will ya?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever," I stared down at Nate. "Do you think your mom's thinking about us?"
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Sarah's Point of View
I laughed with the others as Mr. Schue talked about today's Glee meeting being about the world really not ending. That was until a shot rang out. And another.
"Come on, everyone hide," Mr. Schue said while hurrying everyone to the wall.
Blaine shoved me towards Jake before beginning to move the piano near the door. Jake grabbed me and Marley and pushed us down against the cabinets.
I felt like I was going to pass out. My heart was beating so fast and my eyes were starting to blur.
"Everyone take out your phones and start texting and tweeting," Mr. Schue said quickly, "But don't say we're here. Even shooters have phones."
I took my phone from my pocket and unlocked it only to see I had a text already. I opened it to see it was from Puck.
I know ur mad but just hear me out. Ill be there in 10 min to get u. Luv u
It said it was from five minutes ago meaning he possibly couldn't have gotten here yet, but I needed him. I was so scared and just wanted my boy-
Our last conversation ran through my head and my panicking took a step up.
"I need to go," I breathed.
"You can't," Jake wrapped his arm around me, "We have to stay here and be safe." I winced when his voice cracked.
"But Puck," I choked.
"I want him here too," Jake said softly.
I started crying into my hands, "This can't be happening right now."
I needed to get out of here. I started to stand until Jake grabbed my hand.
"No," he hissed.
I froze when someone tried opening the first door and then the second.
I sobbed and fell into Jake's lap, "I want my Noah."
"I know," he said softly in my hair.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Puck's Point of View
I drove up to McKinley and was surprised by the amount of people outside. I found a parking spot and hopped out. I was running towards the door when two policemen grabbed me.
"Whoa, hey, I just need to get inside to my girlfriend," I said with my hands up.
"I'm sorry, sir," one of the officers said, "But you can't go in there. There was a shooting inside."
And that's when my knees gave out.
They picked me up. "You ok?" the other asked.
"I don't know," I gasped.
They helped over to a bench and set me down, "As we know, no one was hurt," the first said.
"Good," I ran a hand over my face, "My brother's in there too and a lot of my friends."
"Let's hope they all took the precautionary measures then," the second nodded.
"Oh God," I groaned, "It really happened? Someone really had a gun?"
"Yes," both said at the same time.
I might have passed out because there was a sudden pain in my head.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Sarah's Point of View
I watched Sam attempt to leave. Coach Beiste and Mr. Schue grabbed him to try to stop him, leaving no one to guard the door. I could go right now. I started crawling away from Jake.
He grabbed my ankle, "What are you doing?"
I jerked my head towards Ryder and Unique, "Just going over to hug them."
He fell for it and let go. As soon as I was out of reach, I jumped up and took off towards the door.
"No, Sarah!" Mr. Schue let go of Sam and charged at me. He held me tightly in his arms, "You can't leave!"
"No, please, Mr. Schue, I have to go," I struggled, "I need Puck and he's probably just outside."
"No, Sarah, you can't leave this room," he said gently.
"You don't get it!" I screamed, "The last thing I ever said to Puck was that I wish I was raising Nate alone. I need to tell him it's not true!"
Mr. Schue clamped his hand over my mouth and trapped me against his body, "Calm down, ok? Calm down." He glanced at Sam who was being held similarly by Coach Beiste, "Both of you. I know you're scared and you want Puck and Brittany, but right now, the best thing for all of us is if you guys stop fighting, be quiet, and calm down. Look at your friends, you need to do this for them. Can you do that? Can you guys just sit still until this is all over?"
I grunted against his hand and gave a stiff nod. Tears began falling down my cheeks, but I understood him. At least Puck was safe, outside, and not here. My heart broke for Sam when I realized he didn't have the same feeling.
Mr. Schue and Coach Beiste let us go. I ran to Sam and clung to him. Coach Beiste helped us sit down near Artie and Blaine.
"I am so sorry," I whispered in Sam's ear.
"Yeah," Sam whispered back, "I'm sorry for you too. We're gonna get out of here, though, and find them sooner than later."
I cried in his shoulder, "I want to leave."
He tightened his hold, "Me too."
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Puck's Point of View
I paced the area in front of the door. I was as close to Sarah as possible and was ready to kill anyone that made me leave.
A hand set on my arm, "Sir, would you mind backing up a little?"
I spun around to the officer, "I need to get in there. You don't get it, my girlfriend and the mother of my son is in there. I don't want a lecture on getting a 16-now 17-year old girl pregnant. I just want her out of there. I can't raise a kid by myself."
He was persistent in his pushing, "I understand, but all I'd like is for you to take a step back and give us some room."
"Give you room for what?" I yelled, "None of you are doing anything! I don't think I've seen anyone go in there! I'd be better at getting any of them out than you!"
"Sir, please," he brought his other hand up to my shoulder and now started forcing me backwards, "You can help by staying calm."
"How can I stay calm when my family's in there possibly getting shot?" I bellowed.
"Don't make me force you to leave," he shook his head.
I stumbled backwards, "Please, just let me in there to get Sarah."
"I'm sorry," he stated, "But no."
I freed one of my arms and punched him. There was a brief moment of panic when I realized I was probably going to get arrested, but that went away when I realized I was free to run now. I took off towards the school and was almost at the front steps when I was tackled to the ground.
"Stop moving!" an officer yelled as I struggled.
"Just let me in there!" I begged.
"We can't allow that!" another said.
I was brought to my feet and dragged over to a police car. It wasn't the fact that I was probably going to get arrested that made me fight back right now, it was the fact that the car had no view of the door meaning I wouldn't be able to see if Sarah or Jake came out.
"Please," I continued begging, "Just let me see her! I need to know she's ok."
They ignored me while placing me in the backseat of the car. I winced at the hard plastic and the flashbacks of juvie that ran through my head.
"No! Please! You can't arrest me," I yelled before they closed the door, "I can't go back-"
"You're getting a ticket," an officer interrupted, "And we're having you calm down in there until this is all over."
As the door closed, I fell defeated against the seat. This was just fantastic. My girlfriend and brother were possibly getting killed and I was going to be charged with an ungodly amount of money. Not to mention, I now had no source of whether they were safe or not and wasn't able to see the front doors. Awesome.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Sarah's Point of View
I needed to move around, but there was no way Blaine would allow that from his spot across from me. Plus, Sam's grip on me was so strong, it was starting to hurt.
Artie held up a camera, "Does anyone have anything they wanna say?"
"Yeah," I nodded. I struggled in Sam's arms, but managed to sit up, "Um, Mom, Burt, Finn, Grace, Kurt, Sammie, I love you guys so much. Thank you for always being there. Noah, Nate, you two are my world, never forget that. Noah, I want you to move on." My voice cracked and I could feel the others all watching me after that statement. "You have to," I continued, "Nate needs a mom and I know Quinn could do that. You two have so much history and I know you'd all be happy. But please never forget that I love you more than my own life."
Sam refused to talk, so Artie turned to Ryder.
I took gasps of air and tried wiping the never ending tears from my face. Sam rubbed my back as Blaine scooted forward to hug us. The three of us sat there in silence, but it felt good. I laid my head on Blaine's chest and listened to his heartbeat.
Another body was pressed against us and I looked up to see Kitty. She gave me a small smile, "That was so brave. I just wanted to tell you, Sarah, that I'm so sorry for anything I've ever said to you. I know we sort of went over this at your house a couple weeks ago, but I just wanted to make sure you knew."
I blinked. If she's really apologizing, we must really be dying. "I'm sorry for anything I've ever said too," I choked out.
Blaine wrapped his other arm around Kitty to include her in our circle. It was uncomfortable and a little hot, but I wasn't leaving anytime soon.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Puck's Point of View
I groaned, how much longer? This was absolutely miserable. I tried not to think the unimaginable, but if they were still in there, would they ever come out?
I looked out the windows to see if anyone was acting like people were coming out, but instead, I noticed Tina.
I threw open the door, "Tina! Tina, over here!"
She looked up and started running at me, "Puck!"
"Hold on," an officer said. He held out a piece of paper, "Your ticket."
I stared down at it and almost threw up. 950 dollars.
I was hit full in the chest and Tina began sobbing, "I'm so glad you're here, Puck."
I stuffed the ticket in my pocket before wrapping my arms around her, "How'd you get out?"
"I was never in!" Tina looked up at me, "I was late for Glee when the shots went off and someone grabbed me and forced me out of the school."
As she cried in my shirt, I felt something wet run down my own face. I didn't have to bring a hand up to realize the wetness was coming from my eyes.
"It's gonna be ok," I choked out, "They're going to come out and they'll be safe."
"Promise?" Tina asked.
I nodded, "Promise."
She reached a hand up and gently wiped my cheek, "You're crying. I've never seen you cry before."
I gave a halfhearted smirk, "Now you've seen everything."
She laughed quietly, "I have." She watched me for a second, making me feel uncomfortable and maybe a bit embarrassed, but then she said, "Sarah's ok, I'm sure of it."
"And Jake?" I asked despite knowing she didn't really know, but still, the offer was nice.
"I'm positive he is too," she smiled.
I took a deep breath and nodded, "Yeah." I looked down at her before hugging her close, "Blaine's ok too. I'm sure he's alright."
I glanced towards the school in a last hope to see everyone in Glee run out. They were, and are, my second family. They had to be ok.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Sarah's Point of View
Mr. Schue crouched in the room with Brittany and two others behind him. Sam broke from us to go hug her.
I cuddled closer to Blaine, "I want Noah," I whispered.
"I know," he comforted.
The lights suddenly went on. We were safe. This was all over. I breathed a sigh of relief and stood with Blaine's help. Everyone hurried into a group hug. For the first time since the gun went off, I was able to smile.
Once we broke away, I only had to look towards Jake before taking off to the door.
"Sarah!" Mr. Schue called, "Be careful!"
I ignored him and just ran faster down the hallway. I reached the doors and threw them open. The sudden sunlight blinded me and I found myself stumbling down the steps. I was helped up by a police officer.
"Thank you," I muttered while looking around.
"Sarah! Sarah!" There was movement in the crowd and I could hear people grunting from being pushed.
"Puck!" I screamed while running into the surrounding people, "Noah!"
"Sarah!" I was lifted in the air and spun around, "Oh, Sarah," Puck breathed in my ear, "Thank God you're ok."
I started crying into his shoulder, "I love you, so much, and I am so sorry for what I said earlier. I'm sorry."
"No, hey, come on," Puck smoothed down my hair, "Don't. I love you, too, so right now, that's all we have to think about, ok? I love you."
I was glad he was holding onto me because otherwise I'd be on the ground by now.
Neither of us moved to kiss the other. Just being here in Puck's arms was enough. I didn't need him to kiss me to know he loved me. I was so lucky to have him.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Puck's Point of View
I held Sarah so tightly, her feet barely touched the ground, but I don't think she cared. I could feel her crying against me and couldn't help but cry a little too. Badass be damned, my girlfriend just survived a school shooting, I'd cry if I wanted to.
"Blaine!" Tina ran past me into her friend's arms.
Jake emerged from behind our friend and I smiled. He broke into a run and came to wrap his arms around me and Sarah.
"You have no idea how glad I am to see you," he said.
"I think I do," I replied while unhinging an arm from Sarah and pulling Jake to my other side, "I love you guys, ok? Never, ever forget that, alright? We may yell and scream at each other, but you two are my family and I love you."
"I love you, too," Jake said quietly.
Sarah turned her head and smiled at us, "I love you, three."
I chuckled and tightened my grip, "Now, let's get you guys home."
Neither let go of me as I began the slow walk to my truck. I didn't care, though. The only girl I loved was safe and my little brother wasn't hurt. I couldn't ask for more.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Sarah's Point of View
I held Nate tightly against me, "Mommy loves you so much."
Mom pulled me against her and kissed the top of my head, "I don't know what'd I do without you."
I nodded, "Mom, I was so scared. I didn't know if we were ever going to get out of there."
She brushed back my hair, "How'd you stay calm?"
I blushed, "You mean after I tried breaking out? I had to stay with Sam because he wanted to leave too. Blaine helped a lot."
"If this ever happens again," Mom breathed, "God forbid of course, but just promise me you'll stay put because I cannot lose you."
I sighed, "I promise."
Puck slowly walked in from the bathroom, "Hey, I need to talk to the both of you." He sat down across from us on the chair, "So, I may have gotten in some trouble today."
Mom sat up, "Go on."
He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, "I needed to get in the school in any way possible and that may have included punching a cop."
I laughed, "You're kidding."
"No," he shook his head.
"Noah," Mom scolded, "You realize that's illegal."
"Yeah," he nodded, "But I guess after having passed out one and a half times, they give you sort of a break."
"That doesn't make it acceptable," Mom said at the same time I asked, "You passed out?"
"Yeah," Puck rubbed the back of his head, "Hurts."
"Noah, please get on with it," Mom sighed.
He stood and passed her the paper, "I got a ticket." He went back to the chair.
I looked over Mom's shoulder and felt my eyes widen, "We have to pay close to a thousand dollars?"
"I am so sorry," Puck whispered.
Mom was still in shock, but I stood and walked slowly over to him with Nate in my arms. I sat on his lap and took a breath before kissing him fully on the mouth. "I love you," I said softly.
He sighed, "Sarah-"
"No," I shook my head, "Don't. Sure, we're down a thousand dollars, but you sort of risked your life for me and that is something money doesn't cover. Look at our son, he doesn't care that we can't buy new stuff for a while, he just cares that his dad's a hero."
Puck smiled slightly, "I'm a hero?"
I shrugged and smiled, "Yeah."
"You're paying for this," Mom suddenly announced, "All of it."
"I know," Puck nodded, "I didn't care at the time that I was probably going to get arrested, I just needed to get Sarah and Jake out of the school."
Mom gave a small smile, "I know." She left the room as Sammie's monitor rang with a cry.
I leaned my head against Puck's, "Can we just hang out for the rest of the day?"
"Of course," he answered and kissed me again.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Puck's Point of View
I stared straight up at the ceiling through the darkness. There was no way I could sleep. Sarah was tucked under my arm and I'd talked to Jake for about an hour over the phone, but I still couldn't help my imagination run wild over the fact that they could've died today.
"Noah," Sarah whispered.
"Hmm?" I turned my head to look down at her.
"I can't sleep," she cried.
"Hey, it's ok," I hugged her closer. I kissed the top of her head, "I'm right here."
Her tears soaked my bare skin, "Every time I close my eyes, I picture bullets flying through the choir room door and killing all of us."
"No, no, we can't think like that," I whispered despite knowing it was pretty hypocritical to what I was just thinking myself.
"But it's true!" she sobbed, "Jake and I could have died today leaving you alone! Do you know what I said in my goodbye video? I said you could move on! I just-I just-I can't believe that life would ever come to that!"
I felt frozen at the mention of her actually believing that she'd die and tell me to move on. However, her sobs shook throughout her body and she was starting to really scare me.
I sat up slowly while keeping a hold on her, "I need you to take a deep breath. Can you do that? Can you please take one deep breath for me?"
She nodded and struggled to fill her lungs.
I smiled once she did, "There you go."
She stared at me and took in many shaky breaths. "I'm," she gasped, "Sorry."
I shook my head and ran a hand down her hair, "Don't."
She fell against my chest, "I never want to leave you."
"You'll never have to," I wrapped my arms around her.
Nate cried in his room and I started to get up, but was pushed down by Sarah. "Let me," she said quietly, "I know I wanted you to help more earlier, but I'd like to do this now."
"Ok," I nodded slowly, "If that's what you'd like."
She hurried off the bed and was back within seconds with Nate in her arms. She climbed on the bed and leaned against me, "We're a family. I will never leave you two."
I smiled, "Don't expect me to leave anytime soon either."
We sat in silence as both Nate and Sarah calmed down from their tears. After a minute, Sarah laughed and kissed my shoulder.
"What?" I smirked.
She nodded towards the Star of David etched in my skin, "To think that I'd never get to tease you again about this is crazy."
I laughed, "You love it."
Her finger traced along the lines and she thought carefully before saying, "Yeah, I really do." She took Nate's tiny hand and slid it next to her's, "Do you like Daddy's tattoo?"
He didn't seem to know what was happening, but still smiled up at me.
I smiled back, "I knew someone had to actually think it's cool. Your mom's just lying."
Sarah laughed and pushed me, "You're the liar. I think it's cool, but I also think it's stupid."
I chuckled and held her close against me, "That's all I ask."
She smiled and looked up at me, "I want to ask something of you."
"Go ahead," I said while taking Nate in my arms.
"Promise to not take what I said this morning seriously?" she asked.
I began rocking Nate, "Promise."
"No, Noah, look at me," Sarah placed her hands on the sides of my face, "I'm dead serious. I was angry and stressed and I'm sorry. None of it was from the heart."
"I know," I said softly.
"Do you realize how scared I was that the last thing I'd said to you was that I wished I was by myself and that," she covered Nate's ears, "We should have never even slept together?"
"Alright, Sars," I started, "I know you didn't mean what you said because had you, I wouldn't be here right now. You wouldn't have even given me a second thought in that choir room. I know you love me and you know that I love you too."
She nodded and hugged me tightly, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," I whispered in her ear.
Nate whimpered and we both looked down. Sarah stroked his soft hair, "Mommy loves you."
I kissed her forehead. She smiled and glanced up. I smiled back and accepted her kiss. She pulled me down against the pillows until we were all settled, her under my arm again and Nate on my chest. Nate continued making quiet noises for a bit and every once and a while Sarah would let out a small cry, but we were good. We were actually more than good, we were whole again.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
A/N: I honestly feel like this is one of my best chapters and writings ever. I hope you feel the same. To me, this was hard to write because I have been in two school lockdowns myself (not as severe as Glee's, but still scary) and because the original episode was so emotional. Plus, I wanted everything to seem real with two people who weren't even there during the episode. Just a little side note, this is the 60th chapter and we're probably about 3/4 of the way through, seeing this ends when Glee ends, which means this story has met the bar of Never Forgotten Past and I'm excited to say that this is still going strong. PLEASE REVIEW with any questions, comments, concerns, or suggestions! I'm very proud of this and would greatly appreciate you sending your thoughts!
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Alex B. Goode - Thank you so much!
Tyra - Thanks!
dance-sing-live - I'm glad you liked it! I thought I was going to cry while writing this, too, but it actually just made me think really hard (and ok, yeah, I might have teared up a little while writing Sarah's part).
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Sneak Peak: "Ok, but when I gave you that ring, it was meant to be used in the future, not when we were teenagers," I reasoned slowly.
I'm not sure what to say about this besides the fact that I'm kind of excited.
