A Distant Relationship

It was a routine for Anna. She would have a conversation with her mother before going to bed. Except it might not be defined as a 'conversation' as it was Anna who talked nonstop for hours and her mother listened to them all. Her father joined her every now and then, which annoyed her more than when Kristoff called her Annabelle. Ugh, anyway, if she had to contact her father, it went like a food chain order: the office - the employees - his PA, aka Kai - then her father (and only if he was free). And today, she did not have time for that tedious process because she was in a hurry; "was," not "is," as she was already ready. For now, and before Kristoff could call her to come out of the room, she spent this interval, chatting with her mother.

"She learned it in under thirty seconds, Mama! Yes, I counted. I don't think she's a beginner though. She's way too fast and too good at the piano. And that stout boy... what was his name again? Oh yeah, Allen. Gosh, he is sooo loud in everything. Whenever I have to ask her something, he just pops up out of nowhere!" She explained and finished with a roll of her eyes. Her hands waved and gestured beside her head as she talked.

Her mother's smile was pasted, without taking her eyes off of her work, she said, "I see, you seem to be enjoying your classes."

Anna grinned at that. "Of course I do! Bulda is so amazing, Mama. Everyone is, except for Allen. He asks too many questions. And the girl beside me, you should meet her one day, but not yet since I haven't befriended her. She's so quiet and reserved, and...I think she's scared of me."

Iduna raised her brow. "Who? And why would she be scared of my solskin?"

A week had passed since she joined the class. For this whole week, she had told her mother that the girl was an abnormal blonde or Olaf's sister. Needless to say, her mother wouldn't know her name. Was she shy about uttering it? No, she wasn't. She simply forgot to mention it.

"Her name is Elsa. Did I not mention it before?"

Anna felt a shift in the atmosphere after she mentioned her name. Iduna had stopped her writing for a moment. Oh, she was writing something. Iduna looked at Anna, with an uncertain face. No, with some buoyant expression that leaped into her. "Elsa? That's… that's a lovely name." She said, with a smile that Anna had never seen. Anna was somehow elated to see that. If her mother is happy, she shouldn't dig in too much with that- because she seemed to upset her mother a lot when she was happy. So she asked,

"What were you writing there?"

Iduna's face crumpled in seconds. That moment, Anna regretted asking her. "A letter," her mother said, looking away.

"To whom?" she asked again, completely forgetting the change in the atmosphere. Iduna hesitated.

"Your sister," she said.

There was silence afterwards.

"Oh." Now she noticed everything: the dim illumination from the flickering candle, the old desk where her mother used to write, the worn paint on the walls—her mother was in the attic. Silence passed for a moment once more. She realized why her mother had chosen the attic. She slowly said with a whisper, "Without Father knowing."

Or her mother will not even look into her eyes, avoiding her gaze, going back, scribbling down her letters. "Yes."

Anna stared at her mother in silence. Her mother still hadn't given up, unlike her father. He was practical about everything, while her mother followed her heart. The only thing that brought arguments between her parents was because of that difference. The worst thing in the end was when she was asked to choose who was right. Anna would stare at them, begging not to fight over an invisible sister, only to bring her mother to a downcast state. The doctors had checked her mother's distressed state three years ago. It bothered her so much when she was informed that her mother was less than any normal person's state. Even if it was a mild percentage, her mother was not okay. Till this day, her mother sat in the window during her sleepless nights, singing the same old song again and again, finally crying herself to sleep. It hurt to watch that. If this sister were alive, would she be looking for her family too? Would she have become like her mother too?

"You believe him too?" her mother said softly.

Stunned by that statement, Anna paused. No, she did not believe any of her parents on this matter. Her questions were simple: if she had a sister, where were her photos, her birth certificate, something to prove her existence? The only thing they would say was that he took them all. Right, 'He': another secret. Anna never liked the arguments between her father and mother. Father was too loud and spoke before he thought, hurting Mother more than it should. So she avoided starting another one by carefully choosing her speech. "No, I... I've never seen her. I don't know—if... if I had some connection to her like you both did, at least for some sort of time, then I could make a statement or agreement about that."

There was that smile of her mother's again. That smile she always had when she knew Anna had done something naughty. "It's okay, honey," she said, "I understand if you don't believe me."

Anna's eyes widened. "Mama, I-"

"I know you," her mother's eyes were now downcast. "And both you and your father."

Anna says nothing now. She stares again, regretting having asked about the letter. Her mouth opens, wanting to say something, anything that might make her mother feel better—only to come out as a warble. Now she sees her mother lifting her head to meet Anna's eyes. Her heart breaks yet again when she sees that one tear leaving her mother's left eye. It glistens in the flickering light.

"Mama.."

"I loved her so much, Anna," her mother's voice wavered. Anna swallowed hard. "I still do." Even after revealing her broken side, her mother's shoulders straightened, and with a tight smile, she said it again.

"I am certain that she is still alive. Even if it takes a hundred more months, I will not give up on her."

"You ready, feisty pants?" Kristoff yelled from the living room. Her mother heard it too.

"Now go," she said to Anna. "I love you, sweetheart." She whispered. The video call ended as the door was knocked. Anna wiped her tears away.

"Please give me a few moments."

"A few more?" Kristoff asked dramatically. "Girls… "

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Are you okay?" Kristoff asks her, while trying to get his Sven steady.

Anna blinks and raises her head to meet Kristoff's gaze. "I'm okay," she says.

"You sure? You seem.. Off ."

Anna smiled. "Don't worry about me. Sven would be upset if you didn't check on him now."

Surely, Sven will. Because Anna, Kristoff, and Marshal, along with Sven, have come to this busy and beautiful park for an evening 'fun' time. Sven, who was the most excited of the group, wanted Kristoff to run along with him. Anna needed this break really. With her mother upset now, she won't be able to be serene until she knows that her mother feels okay. And that will only happen if her father doesn't come home stressed from all his work. Even if he comes stress-free, he shouldn't find out about her mother writing letters to her invisible daughter again.

And whilst these things, if her father stayed quiet, there were 90 percent chances of her mother staying awake the whole night, crying and singing for her daughter. If only everything was okay with her family. If only she didn't have an older sister, everything would have been okay.

"Anna is right, Kristoff," she heard Marshal say. "Take Sven away from this crowd. I'll be with her."

"Alright," Kristoff came closer to her ear to whisper, "And Anna? If there's anything bothering you, I'm always here to listen."

She was always alone. The only friend she could trust with anything was Kristoff. She was forever grateful for that.

Anna nodded. Kristoff smiled. But Sven didn't have that kind of patience. The Newfoundland ran towards his distraction, pulling Kristoff with him.

"Whoa.. Sven!"

Not sure if she should be impressed with his strength or concerned about that speed, Anna stands staring at the long path that Kristoff has gone by.

"Anna?" She smiled again, thankful that her lecturer had stopped calling her "Miss."

"Before you ask, I have no idea where to start, Marshal," she pouted.

Marshal smiled. "Well for starters, I see an ice cream truck to my left."

Marshal was always poised, still and strict. But with Anna, he was the complete opposite. It was evident that he cared for and loved that girl so much. Anna knew it from the beginning. With Kristoff and Marshal, she felt safe. Now, when he told her about the truck, they both smiled widely, giving a reminder that the two of them were still young enough to enjoy an ice cream on a summer evening.

Anna jumps on her feet. "I'll buy them Marshal please... "

"Alright." He smiled again.

"Chocolate please."/ "Chocolate please."

Waait!

Her voice couldn't be both low and high at the same time. Or had she caught a cold again? Oh no... Not when she was about to have an ice cream! Her brain immediately traveled through all possible excuses she could give Marshall and let her have the ice cream. But on second thought, she did have a high-pitched sound coming out of her throat.

Hmmm.

She turned around and stood shocked.

"Elsa??"/ "Anna?"

That's the girl from her piano class! Anna didn't know why, but there was this newfound excitement coursing through her veins, making her completely forget about the ice cream. From head to feet, Elsa looked barely graceful. Her hair, her eyes, and her loose shirt—wait, what? Why was she wearing gloves? Who wanted to wear gloves in summer? Was it too cold for her?

"Hey, fancy meeting you here." Don't ask her too much, her brain chided. Anna grinned, showing off all of her 30 teeth, as the other girl smiled back.

The woman smiled apologetically and said, "Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt, but there are people waiting behind you."

"Oh, right, sorry. Two chocolate ice creams please." Anna turned to Elsa, "Do you want something too, Elsa?"

Anna noticed how Elsa tugged at her fingers when she had called her name. Her mother wouldn't believe that she could scare someone, but Anna wasn't holding any weapons.

"Yes, just one ice cream."

Now that everything was silent, Elsa should have known the woman was expecting the possibility of the flavor.

"Chocolate?" Anna suggested. It wasn't a suggestion, though; it was exactly what Elsa wanted.

"Yes, chocolate, thank you," she said, looking away.

Okay, this is concerning. When Anna noticed how red Elsa's eyes were and how worn out her face looked, she did not feel okay at all. She wanted to hug that girl right now, ask her what was wrong, and tell her that she was there for her.

There to listen. But again, why? She did not know. Both grabbed their ice creams and left. Anna followed behind the girl, insisting Marshal to follow her too. Because it was easy for Anna to always initiate a conversation. Whether it be a bus station, a queue, a grocery store, if she saw someone that interested her, she would go up and talk with them as if they were one of her closest friends. This was all done without anyone from her family watching though. In the end, she'd have to hear their concerned harmonies.

Anna was very extroverted and outspoken; a social bird. Except when it came to Elsa. Everything went upside down. She didn't know why. However, when she saw Elsa crumpled up like this, she had to at least try to distract that girl from whatever had put her in this state.

Anna asked the distraught girl, "Are you allergic to dirt?" Coming up with something interesting on the spot was difficult after all.

"No, I am not allergic to dirt."

Was it Anna's imagination or did Elsa's voice sound hoarse? Had Elsa been crying moments ago? Goodness, but why does she feel pity for her? Oh Elsa, if only we were friends, I would have done anything to make you feel better.

She cleared her throat and asked, "What's that glove for?"

Anna was one hundred percent sure that she saw Elsa swallow hard. "I'm not sure about myself to be honest," she said, tugging at her gloves, "but it's the best option as far as I can tell."

Anna's capsule of strength slipped away like a wisp, pulling her down with Elsa's broken voice. It was awkward to stare at Elsa like that, but...but what? She wanted Elsa to feel okay, she wanted her to smile, she wanted her gloomy face to be sweetened up. There had to be something to make her smile.

"Elsa! Did you get the-*Gasp*-Anna??"

"Olaf."

For the first time and forever, Anna was less than enthusiastic about meeting Olaf.

Tackled by his hug, she let the ice cream fall down. A fountain of apologies poured from the boy's mouth. 'It's just an ice cream,' he said. 'It's nothing.' Just as her reassurances were ineffective on him, Elsa's sudden poised posture and a smile pasted onto her face, did not sway her concern for her. Because she had been in that spot before. Hiding her emotions wasn't easy; it was hurtful.

Taking the fallen ice cream as an excuse, Olaf had managed to get a seat for himself and Marsha at their family gathering. It wasn't a lie; it was pleasant to listen to their family talks and to see Olaf annoy Kristoff by getting too close to Sven. Earlier, she had explained to Olaf that Kristoff was very sensitive when it came to his dog and shared an ancient ancestor years ago. To which Olaf had asked if Kristoff's X chromosome was of a dog's. Yes, that is when she came to know that he was a science bookworm and loved to ask questions that came out of nowhere. Plus, she had no idea why Marshal had become so still, barely breathing. Anyway, that wasn't something Anna wanted to focus on. She had been watching this suspicious exchange between Elsa and Pabbie for a while. It looked as if Pabbie was looking upset and unimpressed with Elsa. And Elsa was looking down like a sad puppy. Which broke her heart again. So she should come up with something to distract her from this unsettling exchange and make this girl open her mouth to talk.

Yes, you can do it!

"Elsa?"

Frightened blue eyes met turquoise ones, and Anna felt completely numb. Her mouth opened to ask the question.

Crap what was she about to ask her?

"Are you always this quiet?" Was that really what you wanted to ask Anna of Arendelle?

"N-no, I talk with anyone who talks with me, but I don't...initiate the conversation and I definitely can't stand crowds." Elsa said. Well, that's a start. She got this girl talking; what could be tougher?

"Olaf said you love to go to the mall with him?" Curiosity was the reason for this question. With Olaf's help, she knew everything. Both Elsa and Olaf were adopted by Pabbie (though he did not adopt them as his children). They were originally from Norway, he had told her. That only boosted her interest in Elsa even more. Anna loved to know more about this girl. But too much of anything today was not good.

Elsa's lips curved into a smile, making Anna feel warmth in her stomach. She wanted to see that smile all the time. Aww Elsa… why don't you stay like that forever? Unconsciously, Anna smiled.

"For him and with him, only."

For him.

Anna observed that she did everything for him. From analyzing their visits to the park, buying ice cream, ambling around the mall, putting a smile on her face all the time, everything was done so that Olaf wouldn't be unhappy. She did it all for her brother. How did she know? Because 13 years ago, she had experienced the same thing. Although there was a volcanic eruption between her parents, whenever Anna went in, it was all snowmen and cuddles for her. Her father started singing with a guitar, her mother sang along. Making Anna have the best of everything, every time, every day. They gave her everything she asked for. Growing up, she understood the path under the snow, indicating she was maturing day by day. Till this day, she could hear her parents' arguments in her head, making her cry all the time. Being alone for five years wasn't easy.

"I wish I had a sister like you," she said to the older girl, heavy with wistfulness.

Elsa laughs, "You won't be happy with that, I'm sure."

Anna grinned at that laughter. "Olaf is happy, he loves you. Kristoff says I'm a replica of Olaf, so I'll definitely love you too."

The sun was setting, and street lights began to glow. She could hear people singing and laughing under the rising moon. She heard Olaf's screech as he ran alongside Sven. There was Kristoff's warning and the Marshal's chat with the elders in her group. They had sandwiches and desserts for dinner. Bulda's cooking was amazing, Pabbie's words were wise. But there was one thing that made her feel truly content tonight.

"If that's the case, I would love to have a sister like you, Anna."