Chapter 61: The Reason behind it all
"He has you"
Zoey's eyes widened at his words and the intensity of his gaze. She knew by the look in his eyes that he was serious, no joking around, completely honest. Zoey felt her heart beat quicken and her palms sweat. Her breath got locked in her throat and she tried to look somewhere else, to distract her from all this, but it seemed that her mind and eyes weren't taking orders and her full attention was at Fred. Zoey felt dizzy.
"W – What?" She stuttered out though she heard him clearly.
"He has you, Zoe," Fred repeated with a sigh as he brought his hand to the scarf and pulled it down to his side. "Cedric has you… and I don't like it"
"Fred… I don't follow…," Zoey said, her eyebrows knitting together in worry.
Fred gave another sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath before looking back at Zoey. It was now or never. He had said what he said and had no choice but to say what he has been meaning to tell her for the longest time. He licked his lips and took another breath.
"I lo – like you, Zoe, a lot and it kills me to see you with Cedric… having fun, smiling every bloody time," Fred told her, "I want to be the one you have fun with, I want to be the one you're smiling at"
Zoey took a step back and looked down. This was too much. They were fighting and now he was confessing to her? Sure, she was overjoyed at the fact that the boy she had been fancying since her second year was returning her feelings but it was simply too much for her to take in.
"But, I do have fun with you Fred… your jokes make me smile and laugh but… you can't have me all to yourself," Zoey looked up, "I have other friends too. George, Echo, Bridgit, Lee and others."
"I know that," Fred said
"But then why are you jealous of Cedric? Why him in particular?" Zoey couldn't help but ask.
Fred took a step forward. "Because there's a high chance of Cedric liking you and… you liking him back," Fred paused, "George, Lee, Harry, Ron they won't like you to the same extent that I do. Their lo – like to you is platonic but with Cedric… it's different"
"Cedric… Cedric could never like me that way… He has Cho," Zoey said in a quiet voice.
Fred stayed quiet for some time, thinking about what he should say next. After a few seconds in thought he opened his mouth and said: "Tell me, Zoe, did Cedric tell you that he and Cho were together? Cause even if he did, the way he spends time with you and the way he acts around you sure goes against that."
Zoey's face read disbelief at what Fred had just said to her. Why couldn't he just get the idea that Cedric was just a friend to her and nothing more? She took a deep breath.
"Yes, he told me about him and Cho and to tell you the truth he told me he was going to ask her to the Yule Ball before he even did that," Zoey bit her lip, "Can't you see Fred? Cedric's nothing but a friend and he's one of the nicest guys out there, he would never hurt Cho by going behind her back and fancying me or whatever your imagination made up"
"You're defending him"
"If he was your friends you would do and please don't hold that against me, Fred. You don't know him like I do," Zoey pleaded.
"Exactly, Zoe, you know him and I have a feeling he knows you just the same! Do you know how that feels? For the girl you lo – like to be known better by someone else?" Fred says with his fists clenching.
Zoey's breathing became ragged as she blinked at him in confusion. What was he saying? "What are you talking about, Fred? You know me way more than Cedric! We've been friends since the very beginning; you know what has been happening to me at home and much more!" Zoey cried, "You're not making sense anymore! First it's about Cedric and now we're talking about how he knows me? Cedric this, Cedric that. Just let it go!"
"Well, I'm sorry if I can't let it go. Sorry that my feelings don't make sense to you, Zoe, but that's how much I like you and I just can't explain everything and make it clear! It isn't as simple as that," Fred exclaimed.
"What do you want me to do, Fred? Stop hanging out with Cedric because you know that's not possible. He's my only friend in my house and he's been with me and put up with me," Zoey said in a defeated voice.
Fred licked his lips and unclenched his hands. He walked over to Zoey and pushed a strand of hair away from her face and placed it behind her ear. He took a deep breath. "I want you to give us a chance," he said, "I want us to be together."
Zoey felt her cheeks flush at Fred's words. She closed her mouth into a tight line and thought about what he said. She had always imagined life with her and Fred together, as a couple but she never thought it would happen. She looked at him in the eye and saw something she has never seen before. Her cheeks became warmer at his gaze. Should she accept? Why shouldn't she? She felt the same way, didn't she? Zoey opened her mouth to reply but then she remembered something she promised her aunt long ago.
"What would you do after your schooling though? Run away?" Damiana then walked towards Zoey again, stopping mere inches away from her face. Blue eyes penetrating gray.
Zoey swallowed hard.
"Were you even planning to run away?" Damiana asked as she straightened up, "You know I would not like that. I would hate to know that you would leave the Emeraude's. After all, you are an Emeraude aren't you?"
Zoey did not want to answer her, "If you want me to stay then I'll stay. After schooling I'll come back and I'll never leave."
"Never?"
"Never. I promise"
Zoey had promised her aunt that she would come back to her after Hogwarts. Come back to the dreadful woman and stay in her home forever, never to see her friends or the outside life anymore. Never to see Echo, Bridgit, George and Lee all her friends and Fred. Never to see Fred. She looked down with worry. She couldn't do that to him. She couldn't accept to be in a relationship with him and then break his heart in the end. She couldn't do that. She couldn't hurt him or herself.
"Fred," Zoey began in a teary voice, "I – I can't"
"What?" Fred's eyes widened and tried to hold onto Zoey but she pushed him away. She looked down at the floor for a moment before looking back at him with tears rolling down her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Fred, but I – I can't do this right now…," she let out a sob before turning away from him and dashing out of the Astronomy Tower.
After jumping the final five steps of the stairs Zoey blindingly ran towards a random direction. She didn't care that she didn't know where she was going nor did she care that she was out past curfew and someone could catch her and throw her in detention. She didn't care. All she cared about was how much she hurt Fred and how she wanted to get away from it all. Get away from the confusion and the hurt and everything in between. She didn't want to deal with it now or ever. Zoey knew that at one point everything will come back and she will have to do something about it but she deeply wished it wasn't going to come any time soon.
"What does man love more than life?
Fear more than death or mortal strife.
What the poor have, the rich require, and what contented men desire,
What the miser spends and the spend shift saves
And all men carry to their graves"
Zoey looked up and let a couple of her fall. She had reached the Ravenclaw Tower without meaning to. She brought her hand to her eyes and wiped the tears away, though they just came back. She bit her lip and replayed the riddle in her head. She didn't know if it was wise to even try to answer a riddle with her thoughts in chaos. Before she knew it, she would be stranded in front of the room waiting for someone to get the correct answer. Then again, she wasn't stupid. If she were to get it wrong, she would simply walk away. Zoey gave a sigh. She got nothing to lose.
Her eyes widened.
"N – Nothing," Zoey stuttered out, "The answer is nothing"
"Well answered," the statue said before revealing the entrance to the Common Room.
Zoey's eyes widened and she was momentarily stuck to her spot. She got it right? How in the world was that possible? The confused Hufflepuff shook her head and stumbled into the Common Room. She looked around and saw that there was someone sitting on one of the chairs by the fireplace. The figure was flipping the pages of a book while writing down some notes on a piece of parchment. Zoey took a step closer to the figure and saw that it was Bridgit.
"I know you're there, Zoey," Bridget said, shocking the girl.
"H – Hey," Zoey struggled to say, wiping away the tears, "Sorry… I sorta came…am I distracting you?"
"Nope, I just found my reason to quit stud –" Bridgit was saying but stopped as she saw Zoey's red and puffy eyes. "Okay, sit and tell me," Bridgit said, pointing to the seat beside her.
Zoey's lips quivered as more tears formed. Completely missing the chair she ran up to Bridgit, fell to her knees, folded her arms on Bridgit's lap and cried. Bridgit was caught off guard but soon relaxed, seeing the state of her friends.
"I – I just don't know what to do anymore," Zoey said with suppressed sobs, afraid she might wake up unwanted Ravenclaws.
"What happened?" Bridgit asked, patting Zoey's head awkwardly. She really did not know how to deal with crying girls.
"I –It's F – Fred," Zoey began but the rest of her words were muffled with tears. She tried to calm herself down but didn't know how. No matter what she tried the image of Fred's heartbroken face kept coming back to her and it made the tears continue to fall.
"Why am I not surprised?" Bridgit asked to no one in particular. "What did Fred do?" Bridgit now asked, still trying to calm down her friend.
Zoey lifted her head from Bridgit's lap and wiped her eyes. What did Fred do? He just said what he felt, though some hurtful against her friends, Zoey did tell him to tell her whatever he felt. Surely, it wasn't his entire fault. At most, it was hers.
"I – It's more on… what did I do?" Zoey said with a sad voice, looking away from Bridgit and into the fire. She quietly watched it crackle.
"Okay…?" Bridgit answered, getting a bit confused, "What did you do?"
"I… I… broke his heart…," Zoey looked away from the fire and down to the floor, playing with the hem of her skirt.
"Oh…," Bridgit said, once again not knowing how to handle the situation. "Well…how?" Bridgit asked.
Zoey bit her lip. "I… it's hard to explain…," she said.
"I see, so I guess this is the most important question then… Did you mean to?" Bridgit asked.
"Mean to?" Zoey repeated her question, "Surely you know how I feel about it," she paused, "No… I didn't mean to… I didn't want to but, Bridgit you got to understand… I had to!"
"I don't blame you, Zee, and what do you mean you had to?" Bridgit asked, getting confused once again.
"Maybe… I should begin from well… the beginning?" Zoey suggested, "Maybe it will make things easier to understand?"
"Well, don't all things begin from the beginning? Hence the word 'begins'?" Bridgit said, trying to get Zoey to crack a smile, "And I think that's a good idea," she added.
Zoey gave a small laugh. "Right… well, the day began with Cedric in the Prefects' Bathroom. We were just talking about the tournament – Well, that's not important. After my chat with Cedric I went to the Great Hall and found out that Harry and Ron still don't have dates for the Yule Ball. Thing led to this and things led to that and I found out that Fred had asked Angelina to the Ball," Zoey took a breath, "By the way, did you know about that?"
"Well, yeah actually. He asked her during a study with Snape. I even remember Snape whacking Ron and Harry on the head, and Hermione walking out furiously…," Bridgit answered. "WAIT! How does this add up to Fred's heart being broken? He's the one who got a date?"
"No, well, sorta. Wait. I was getting to that. After they told me about that, Ginny, who was also there, told me that Fred would have asked me if he hadn't heard a rumor about Cedric going with me. I find that utter rubbish seeing as he's dating Cho," she looked at Bridgit, "Would you believe a rumor like that?"
"Nope, because Cho is my housemate and she just can't keep her mouth shut," Bridgit answered in a happy and sarcastic tone.
Zoey nodded her head. "I see, well, Fred believed it. Moving on, I left the Great Hall and took my place in my favorite spot near Hagrid's Hut. You know the spot right? Well, when I was there, George, Lee and Fred were approaching the area and were talking about something… I don't know what thought," Zoey paused in thought, "That doesn't matter – Soon Lee approached me and asked me to the Yule Ball"
"Hmm… and you said?" Bridgit asked.
"I said yes," Zoey sighed, "After that, we looked over at Fred and George and saw Fred walking away from George. We thought they had some sort of row but George said it wasn't a row. He told me they fought over me and when I asked why, he told me to ask Fred myself"
"And you chased Fred, didn't you?" Bridgit suddenly said.
"I wouldn't say 'chase' but I did look for him," Zoey blushed a bit, "But when I found him… that's when the trouble began"
"Did he confess?" Bridgit asked, hoping that she wasn't crossing any lines.
Zoey's lip quivered a bit when she remembered what happened. She took a shaky breath and forced herself to continue. She held onto her left forearm with great force. What reason? She didn't know. She just did it.
"No, not yet," Zoey whispered, "I – I don't want to get into too much detail on it because I sort of want to forget the whole thing," Zoey paused, "We – We had a row, you see"
"Go on…," Bridgit said, now rubbing her friends back as she noticed the tears once again.
Zoey brought a hand to her eyes and tried to wipe the tears away. "I… I don't know what has gotten into him at that time. He… he was just so angry! At first… well… the anger just… the source of the anger," Zoey hiccuped. It was painful. It was difficult. "It was Cedric. Fred was angry about Cedric! He was jealous of him. Saying stuff that I just couldn't believe he was saying!"
"What did he say? And I'm sure they weren't true! Cedric is a great friend," Bridgit said, still trying to comfort her friend.
"I… he said a lot of things and well… when he finally cooled down he began to tell me why he was jealous of Cedric," Zoey licked her lips, "He said that he was jealous about his looks, grades, admiration and all that but…," Zoey brought her face into her hands and shuddered at the memory. It was still fresh in her mind. It felt like a dream but she knew it wasn't. What had happened was real and she couldn't change it.
"He said he was jealous that you and Cedric were close didn't he?" Bridgit asked, trying not to let her friends say the obvious anymore.
Zoey shook her head and spoke into her hands hoping it wasn't too muffled for Bridgit to hear. She did not want to repeat what she was going to say. "He said that he was jealous that Cedric has me," Zoey said.
"Oh… I see," Bridgit said, thinking of something good to say to her friend. "Can I ask you a question? Not including that of course," Bridgit asked. Zoey merely nodded.
"When Fred said those words, What did you feel? I know that this is odd, but just answer okay," Bridgit asked.
Zoey's eyes widened and she lowered her hands to her lap, staring at the floor. What did she feel? She knew that what he said had shocked her but was that the feeling Bridgit was looking for? Was there more to it? Zoey knew the answer, it was yes. She had felt a rush emotions; confusion, shock, happy, sad and much, much more. So much that she began to doubt reality. Began questioning if what she heard was truly what he had said. Zoey liked her lips.
"I – I felt a lot of things," Zoey said after a long pause, "I was shocked at first but then confused after. I was also happy but that was hidden beneath the first two feelings," Zoey struggled with words, "I… I don't really know how to describe it…"
"Hmm… indescribable feelings, huh? Are you sure it's not love?" Bridgit asked, shocking Zoey even more though not with the reason she thought shocked Zoey.
"I know it's love, Bridgit," Zoey said, "I thought you knew I love him?
"I know you do, I was just scared that you didn't," Bridgit answered, giving Zoey a smile. "besides, I'm still shocked he realized it. Guess he's not as dense as I thought he was," Bridgit suddenly added. "So, what's the reason you two aren't frolicking in the garden being a happy couple right now?" Bridgit asked.
Zoey looked away from the Ravenclaw. "That's the thing… we can't be a happy couple," she said.
"My question is 'Why'?" Bridgit pushed, hoping Zoey would answer.
"Because it's not possible," Zoey sighed, "Fred…Me… together. It won't end well"
"Again… why?" Bridgit asked, trying to know the real reason behind everything.
Zoey looked back at Bridgit and gave a sad smile. She brought her hands to her lap and gripped onto the cloth of Bridgit's pajama bottoms. "Because… I'll be taken away"
"Oh, I see, so you'll be – Wait! What do you mean you'll be taken away?" Bridgit asked, panic in her eyes.
"I'm sorry I kept you up with my sob story," Zoey said with an apologetic face before getting up from the floor and straightening her skirt. She was avoiding the question. "It's way past my curfew and if I'm caught exiting the Ravenclaw Common Room I'll be in deep trouble. Thank you for helping me… I really appreciate it"
"Zoey… I know you're avoiding the question, and I also know not to push too hard. It's okay if you don't want to tell me, but maybe you should think…if…maybe Fred deserves an explanation," Bridgit now said, standing up as well. "And I'd be staying up late anyway… I have to finish studying and I have to make sure Harry lives in the next challenge," Bridgit added, offering her friend a smile.
"An explanation?" Zoey said with a hollow look in her eyes, she lost all feeling by now, "Don't you think that would just destroy him further?"
"Zee, if the explanation will hurt him… it's not going to compare to the rejection that he'll feel the moment you start to avoid him. Love is not my forte, but I know enough to know that you avoiding Fred would be like piercing his heart with a stake," Bridgit answered, hoping Zoey will understand, "I can't tell you what to do, and I can't teach you either, but try to think about it"
Zoey looked at Bridgit, scrutinizing her before turning away and heading to the door. She placed a hand on the knob but did not turn it. She just looked at it in thought. She bit her lip and turned back to Bridgit.
"Thank you," she breathed out with a smile before pausing, "I – I don't think avoiding Fred would be possible anyway"
"Trust me, you'll try," Bridgit suddenly said, "because you'll think it's what's best"
"That may be so and it might happen but… you know Fred, he might be dejected for a while but he's going to get back on his feet. He's persistent, that one," Zoey gave a small laugh, "Also, he's going to talk to me one of these days. You know why?"
"Because he can't stay away from you?" Bridgit answered, letting out a chuckle at the rhetorical question.
Zoey shook her head and turned the knob. "No, he's going to talk to me one of these days because," she stepped out of the door, "he still has my scarf," and with that she left the Ravenclaw Common Room with a click.
It was way past everyone's curfew and Fred was still yet to close his eyes. There he lay on his bed staring at the ceiling with wonder. He had been left in the tower alone after Zoey had ran out on him. He was left to wonder what he has said. Fred would have probably been frozen in his spot if not the nagging voice in his head told him to go back to his dorm and get some sleep. Sadly, that wasn't going to happen to him anytime soon.
Fred had found out that even in his pajamas and under his covers on his nice comfy bed he still couldn't get a wink of sleep. He was thinking too hard and he really did wonder how Hermione and Echo could manage to think so much without suffering from a headache every day. He was thinking about the only person who seemed to always fill his mind, yes, Zoey. His mind was currently having a war against him. He didn't know if he was confused or just tired, but his mind wouldn't shut up and give him time to actually find out which.
Did I just get rejected? Fred thought to himself as he felt an uncomfortable pain in his chest. He had felt this pain back in the tower and hoped that it would have left him alone, unfortunately, it came back. Fred furrowed his brows. Of course not! She didn't say she didn't like me right? Fred thought again, turning in his bed hoping that he didn't make any sound. He didn't want to wake anybody and be asked unwanted questions.
But she ran away, didn't she? Fred's brain thought again, making Fred feel the pain once again. His brain had taken the toll on being the reasonable one. The Reasonable and extremely frank and insulting one. His brain was against him. Like he didn't even own it. It reminded him of Bridgit.
Maybe she's not ready for a relationship…, Fred answered, hoping that it would explain everything, but of course it didn't.
The actual question is are you ready for a relationship? The brain said, making Fred more confused than he was before.
Of course I am! I confessed didn't I? Fred asked himself, turning once again in his bed.
"… you look beautiful in your dress… Mary Sue..," Fred heard George say in his sleep and couldn't help but laugh. "But I'm terribly sorry but Echo looks absolutely spiffing in hers. Makes you look like a fungus growing under Lee's bed"
"He's love sick," Fred whispered to himself, laughing again at his twin's sleep talking, "And has his own problems," he then said in thought as he watched his twin clutch onto his pillow and turn over in his own bed. Fred raised a brow at his twin.
Oi! You're supposed thinking about Zoe! His brain suddenly shouted, making Fred jump a bit and tear his questioning gaze away from his oddball twin. Then again, he was an oddball himself.
What's there to think about? Of course I'm ready for a relationship and she's not. So then why push the matter? Fred thought. Why can't you shut up? Fred then asked his throbbing brain.
Because I'm rarely used and only appear whenever you have love problems! His brain answered, making his headache worse.
That's not true! Fred yelled inside his head.
Fine, I'm not used for reasons I want to be used for, His brain then told him. His brain had a mind of its own. It was not normal.
Is this how it feels like to be Echo, Hermione and Bridgit? Fred asked himself, hoping that his brain wouldn't respond.
No, this is what it feels like to have a brain that is rarely used!
Fred was seriously annoyed. The fact that his brain was taking a different personality was irritating. He groaned, giving up his mental battle and turned in his bed once more, face down on his pillow. "Why is this so hard?" Fred asked, the question coming out muffled.
"…No, Echo! Please don't eat me!" George suddenly said, making Fred turn to his twin again.
"It's nice to know that if my brain is messed up, yours is too, George," Fred whispered, reaching over to cover himself better with his blanket but his hand grazed a different cloth. This cloth was thicker than his blanket and colder. Fred turned a bit to see what he touched and saw that it was Zoey's scarf. He brought it closer to his face before falling back into his pillow. He placed the scarf over his eyes and felt the cool temperature relax his tense muscles. He gave a sigh and hoped that he could finally get some sleep.
Before everything, I would give an humongous thanks ZOOMSKATER14 for staying up with me till like 12 in helping me with this chapter~
You are too awesome for words~ I need a bigger vocabulary~
Anywho, thanks for all the reviews you guys gave! I'm glad you liked the previous chapter and I hope you like this one as well.
I'm hungry and sleepy and it's late (or early) so I don't have much to say.
I guess I'll just have to cut to the chase
Thank you for taking the time to read this
Sorry for any typos and the like
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