September
A/N: This is the first prompt in a series of monthly prompts based off of the Snowbert ship. The prompts were formed in the Snowbert Forum. Check out Irrevocalbly, TercesTardis, ihateeverythingandbody, TopazStars, and Write-To-Youfor more Snowbert.
TopazStars suggested this prompt: Julian wakes up in the middle of the night, hearing a knock on his door. Opening it, he sees Caitlin standing there and she's covered in blood. But is it her own? (In which the blood could be her own injury or she killed for the first time.)
Julian opened his eyes and turned to look at the time.
2:43
He sighed. He wasn't sure what had awoken him this time. Sometimes he'd have nightmares where he was Alchemy again. Other times he'd think he'd hear Caitlin, and he'd be convinced she was right next to him. That was never case. He turned over and readjusted the blankets and shut his eyes again.
Then he heard it. A faint knocking.
He opened his eyes and sat up.
The knocking persisted.
He sighed. He had told the team he wouldn't be able to help them tonight. He was swamped with work as it already was. He didn't need any more trouble.
"I'm coming! I'm coming!" he shouted angrily as he quickly walked down the stairs. The sooner he got this over with, the sooner he could go back to bed. He frowned as he approached the door. It was colder down here. If he was kept standing down in the cold for long…
He opened the door and immediately forgot about his missed sleep and the cold, "Caitlin!"
She stood trembling, her hair a rumpled mess, and her brown, uncertain eyes looking anywhere but at him. However, none of that caught Julian's attention. It was the blood.
Her shaking hands had blood running down them all the way to her elbows. Her face was smeared with it from where she had touched it with her hands. Some of it was splattered over her clothing. Julian instinctively reached forward and pulled her inside. He quickly closed the door and turned to her.
"Caitlin, are you alright?" he asked while he scanned her body and ran his hands over her trembling arms. He sighed in relief, "It doesn't appear to be your blood. You're fine." He looked up at her and realized she was on the verge of tears. Her eyes were twinkling, and she was biting her lip to keep it from quivering. "What's wrong?"
She looked away distantly, still trembling.
Julian swore. "You're in shock," he realized and put his arms over her shoulders and steered her to the living room. He guided her to the couch. She sat, and he grabbed a blanket, putting it over her. "Caitlin, can you hear me?" he asked, searching her face.
O
She stood silently on a rooftop enjoying the view of Central City at night. Even though the night sky stood darkly overhead, the city shone brightly. Winking lights illuminated the tall buildings, the bright headlights of cars streamed down the streets, and warm, orange glows spilled out from the houses around the city.
She was suddenly jolted out of her reverie as she heard the voices of a happy couple below her. They were contently holding hands and chatting about something that made them both laugh. The sight made her stomach flip, and she looked away. Why could she never have that? That's all she ever wanted.
There was a loud scuffling below her, and she looked down to see a man clad in dark clothing pointing a gun at the previously joyful couple. Now, the couple was pressed against the wall, clinging to each other tightly.
She couldn't quite hear what was happening from where she sat, but she could hear the ferocity in the mugger's tone. They both reached in their pockets and took out their belongings. The young woman's stifled sobs carried to the roof.
She suddenly blinked, finally realizing she was just staring at them. She rose as if to help them, but then hesitated. All she did was harm people. Besides, that was Team Flash's job. Not hers.
The couple had finished handing over their belongings when the mugger said something to them. Caitlin still couldn't hear what it was, but it caused the young woman to press herself further into the wall. The young man stepped forward and said something harsh to the mugger. The mugger pointed his gun in the man's direction and answered the young man with bitterness cutting into his voice. The young man still approached undeterred from whatever the mugger had threatened.
Bang!
The man dropped lifelessly to the ground and the woman screamed in terror. He had died for her. The man died heroically for the woman he loved.
She had been watching coldly from above, but now adrenaline rushed through her, and her chest burned with an unquenchable rage. Before she could stop herself, she appeared next to the woman, her hands trailing vapor and her eyes now an unforgivable, icy white.
"You shouldn't have done that," she said, slowly approaching the mugger, a dagger of ice forming in her hand.
The mugger's hands shook as he raised his gun to her. He placed his finger on the trigger, but she raised her other hand, and a blast of ice shot the gun from his hands.
He backed into the wall and lifted his hands in surrender, "Please, I didn't mean to. It just happened."
"Shhh," she shushed, placing a frosty hand on his chest, causing him to squirm uncomfortably. "This won't hurt," she said, raising her icy dagger and smirking. "Much."
His screams echoed down the alley before they were abruptly cut off by a deafening silence.
O
Julian's heart raced, and his breath caught in his throat. He was panicking and this was the last thing Caitlin needed right now. He took a deep breath and then held her close. He rubbed his hands over her back softly. He felt her rest her chin on his shoulder. Her arms slowly wrapped around him, and her trembling intensified. She was crying.
"I'm here, okay? Everything's going to be alright," he comforted softly.
Caitlin gulped in some air, "No, Julian. No, it's not." She pulled away, her tear-stained face looked hopelessly into his.
"Caitlin, what happened?"
Tears sparked anew in her eyes, and she looked away. She forced herself to take a breath, "It was just like with Ronnie. He sacrificed himself for her, and I did nothing! And now she's alone. She'll never be the same again. She'll only think, 'if only I had done this.' She will stay awake at night thinking about all the times that had never been and never can be. And deep down, she'll know it was her fault." Tears began running down her face, and her eyes met Julian's, "It's all my fault, Julian."
"Caitlin," Julian said firmly, looking into her eyes. "Ronnie's death was not your fault, understand?"
"Maybe not Ronnie's, but his is!" she said holding up her blood-caked hands.
Then he understood. The blood wasn't hers. The blood wasn't hers. "What did you do?" he asked, quietly.
"What do you think I did, Julian?!"
Julian felt his blood run cold, but when he looked at her, he realized how terrible she felt. How terrible Caitlin felt. Killer Frost had killed someone and left Caitlin Snow to deal with it.
"Caitlin, listen to me," Julian said. "That wasn't you."
"Yes it was! I remember doing it! I remembering wanting to do it!" she stood up, and the blanket fell off her shoulders. "I remember liking it!"
Julian stood up in front of her, "It doesn't seem like you like it to me."
"I'm a monster!"
"You are not monster!"
"But I – "
"Killer Frost did that, not you."
"You think that will help comfort that man's family?" she kept restlessly folding and unfolding her hands.
"No, but it should comfort you," Julian said, placing a calming hand over Caitlin's.
She stilled and looked up at him.
"You are Caitlin Snow. You are not a monster."
Caitlin stared at him, desperately searching for something within Julian's eyes.
"Now I want you to say it," he said. "Tell me you're not a monster."
"Julian, I ca – "
"Say it, Caitlin," he said, refusing to look away.
"I," she hesitated. "I'm not a monster."
"Say it again."
"Julian," Caitlin pleaded.
He looked at her firmly.
"I'm not a monster."
"No," he said, pulling her into a tight embrace. "You're not. You're my Caitlin Snow, and I will always love you."
Caitlin held onto him tightly. She missed Ronnie, but he was gone. She knew this couldn't be the end. She didn't want it to be the end. She didn't think it was the end. In fact, it was just the beginning.
"I love you too, Julian."
