Torture the OTP. Round 3 Prompt: One half of your OTP is happily dating another person, completely oblivious to the other half of your OTP's feelings for them. Will the second person suffer in silence, or earn their beloved's eternal hatred by trying to break up the happy couple? Crack!fic.

~o~

I wanna be your girl, but you have another girl called Dolly

Sirius/Dolly otp

Sirius/hermione my true otp

Ron/Hermione

~o~

Hermione wiped away a stray tear and tried not to think of Sirius Black, though the sad fact was she was completely and irrevocably besotted with him. And the saddest part was that Sirius Black couldn't care less or be less aware of her feelings for him.

Although Hermione hadn't told him how she felt; how could she? Sirius Black was currently happy as a clown dating Dolores Umbridge. The pink slut and Sirius couldn't be happier and the sextastic couple could be heard shagging on every surface of the house at all hours.

They didn't even care that she was studying and trying to concentrate on her book as they once again banged so hard on Sirius's bed that the ceiling in Hermione's room was in danger of caving in.

Hermione burst into tears, her shoulders shaking, as she looked up at the chandelier light of her room, which was currently shaking so hard the bulb looked like it was going to break at any moment.

"The lowlife bastard," Hermione whimpered to herself, as the ceiling once again shook and she could even hear Sirius's lowlife grunts as he spent his seed in that cheap whore, Dolly Umbridge. "What does he see in her?" Hermione wiped at her runny nose and eyes through which she could barely see because her tears were so salty and acidic.

"I want to...Merlin, help me," Hermione cried even harder because it was one thing to see another woman happy with Sirius. But it was quite another to see Sirius as content. Without a care in the world.

Finally deciding she could no sleep, while Dolores and Sirius were shagging louder than jackrabbits above, Hermione crawled out of bed and tiptoed down to the Floo network.

She threw some Floo powder in, whispered Ron's address, and waited to see Ron Weasley's comforting, reassuring face.

"Ron," she whispered when her old redhead friend appeared in the fireplace. "I've missed you."

Ron's normally happy face turned into a deep frown when he saw how Hermione was crying. "Hermione, what's wrong? What happened? Why are you upset?"

Hermione just cried more, because if there was one person she could not confide in about loving Sirius Black, it was Ron Weasley. Ron would flip his lid and go crazy, shouting about the lowlife bastard, if he knew how much she loved Sirius. Ron still held out a candle of hope for her, that Ron and her could somehow still get back together.

Hermione wiped at her tear filled eyes. "Sorry, Ron. I'm just so lonely...Can you come over?"

Ron yawned, clearly, she'd woken him in the middle of the night, but he wasn't complaining. "Yes, I'm on my way now. Hold on."

"Thank you."

Hermione was running into his arms and grabbing Ron in a thick hug when he finally Flooed into Grimmauld Place.

"Ron, thank you," Hermione murmured against Ron's warm, home-knit sweater.

Ron stroked her hair. "What's wrong, Mione? Why did you call me here in the middle of the night?" He cradled her small, round face in his calloused hands. Ron was always playing Quidditch nowadays and it showed in the many muscles and injuries and firmer resolve he had.

Hermione chewed her lip, licking the salty tears off her top lip, before staring at Ron's warm, blue eyes.

"I just needed you," she sniffed. "Ron, I love—"

"Me." Ron kissed her roughly before she could finish speaking.

Hermione was going to say she was in love with Sirius Black, but suddenly Ron's warm, calloused hands were running down her spine and over her bottom, clutching the well-defined flesh to him. And then she let out a murmur as Ron's hands slipped underneath her night dress and passed over her peaked, small nipples.

"Ron," she tried to tell him the truth, she was in love with Sirius, not him. But then she heard Sirius and Dolores's loud shag banging from the upper floor and she fell silent.

"It's alright, Hermione, I know you actually love me, not him," Ron said and kissed her on the corner of her eye. "You think you love him because he's impossible and with Dolly, but actually, you want me." Ron turned her face towards him, lifting her chin. She stared the longest time into his pure blue eyes.

She couldn't say for sure anymore what she thought or who she loved. Did she really love Sirius Black? Or had her breakup with Ron all been a mistake, because she loved him still?

Hermione wasn't sure; she didn't know her own heart anymore. All she knew too is that her very body, her very small, fragile body and core ached and hurt with unfilled desire for him. And that Ron was reawakening that desire, his hand on her thighs and bottom, drawing lazy circles.

"Take me," she finally pleaded of Ron. Ron moaned something incomprehensible and his hands wrapped around her nightdress, pulling it down. "Please, I don't want to think about him," Hermione muttered as Ron lifted her over his shoulder.

~O~

Dolores and Sirius were upstairs lighting a cigarette in bed when they suddenly heard banging noises from downstairs.

"Ron, Ron, RON!"

Sirius went pale when he heard Hermione's voice screeching Ron's name.

"No."

Sirius's cigarrette dropped from his mouth and nearly caught Umbridge's head on fire. "Sirius, watch where you're smoking, idiot!"

But Sirius was too shaken to care. For some reason, the thought of Hermione being with another man or moaning Ron's name like that...made him really, really mad.

~O~