"Sookie are you listening" Eric waved his hand in front of her face breaking her out of her trance

"So what does this mean" Sookie sank back on the sofa her anger deflating as she remembered how horrible things seemed to turn out when she didn't keep it on check,

Eric looked at her and for the first time in weeks she seemed relaxed and more like the woman he had fallen in love with instead of the frantic vampire that seemed to react to the simplest of things.

"Well they are putting you on probation" Sookie looked at him clearly confused by what he was talking about

'Probation?"

"You will have to follow some guide lines in order to avoid any trouble; they won't allow you to have any vampire rights while you are on probation"

Sookie was getting irritated Eric was beating around the bush and it was driving her crazy "ok get to it Eric what are the rules,"

Eric didn't know how she was going to react to the rules Nan had given him for her to follow lately he wasn't too sure of how she would react to anything and he hated himself more every day for not being able to save her human life.

"You can't own or operate any business's, you can't have any permanent ties to another vampire no marriage, no progeny's and you can't own any property including property from your human life."

Eric read the list from a piece of paper that was sitting on the desk in front of him, the piece of paper that he had signed taking responsibility.

"What, how can they, what" Sookie couldn't contain her anger anymore not only were they telling her she couldn't work to make a living but she wasn't allowed to own her own home or marry Eric or anyone for that matter, Sookie thought about all of her new rules and what they meant and she finally understood they wanted her to mess up Nan and the authority were hoping she would get herself killed.

She sat back down on the couch pushing her temper back down deep inside, "how long will the probation last?"

Eric was shocked at how calm and cool she was being he had expected the worst even picturing her running out from the bar and going on a killing spree, the truth was Eric didn't know if Sookie was capable of controlling her emotions and the thought of losing her again was worse than facing his true death.

"One hundred years" he could see her struggling to process the information but felt proud of her at the same time as he watched the shaking in her hands slow,

"what am I supposed to do" Sookie looked up at Eric and for the first time that night he saw the woman he had fallen in love with and he couldn't help but go to her and cradle her in his arms.

"Sookie it will be ok I will make sure it's ok"

"Where will I live, what will happen to grans house?"

Eric knew she would have a lot of questions and to be honest he didn't have all the answers this was all new to him, the only vampire he had ever been responsible for was Pam and she was his progeny which gave him the power to prevent t her from doing anything that was dangerous for them.

"You can live with me and your house will go to Jason, I can pay him to keep up on the house" her house was always the most important thing to her it was where she grew up and also where she died but most of all it was a part of who she was and if keeping it in Jason's name meant she could still have that but it wasn't good enough.

"I don't want to give Jason my house it's my house" Sookie snapped looking up at Eric

"It's my house, mine and who the hell are they to say what I can and can't do"

Eric tried to hold on to her but she pushed him back jumping up off of his lap and pacing the room, "I want my life back fuck all this vampire do's and don'ts," Eric reached for her again trying to calm her down ,

"Sookie please just" she shoved his hands away from her "just what Eric just live unattached to anything or anyone for a hundred years, is that what you are asking me to do."

Eric jumped from the sofa moving closer to her he could see the rage burning in her eyes and he was afraid of what might come next,

"Damn it Sookie calm down before you do something stupid" he tried to sound superior but the effect was lost on her she was too far gone.

"No Eric I won't calm down" she clenched her hands tight fighting the urge to attack him, she knew it wasn't his fault but here he was the messenger giving her a sentence the all mighty Authority wasn't brave enough to give her themselves. Sookie stepped back from Eric her throat ached and her skin felt like a thousand ant were crawling all over her body,

"I need air" she said looking at the door behind Eric.

"Sookie please talk to me" Eric didn't want to move from in front of the door for fear that she would do something they both would regret "stay and talk to me,"

"Eric move now I need air" she took a few steps toward him her eyes still locked on the door "there is nothing to talk about I need to think I need air so fucking move" she barked her voice sounding nothing like her.

Sookie could feel her temper boiling over and there was only one thing that could calm her at this point and there were no humans in the room, she looked through Eric at the office door she could smell the blood and hear their human hearts beating as the drank and danced and all she had to do was make it past Eric to the other side of that door.

"MOVE"

"NO"

"MOVE NOW ERIC" Sookie didn't know how much longer she could bear being pinned in his office "move or I will move you" she threatened still not looking at his face not sure if she could handle the pain and disappointment that it held, Eric had no idea if he could stop her before she made it through the door and the last couple of time he tried to keep her from running the two of them had gotten into it pretty bad.

He could tell she was getting stronger and it was happening way more rapidly than it was supposed to, Eric had never seen a vampire like Sookie it was as if everything vampire about her was intensified and the humanity in her disappeared. He started to wonder if he could really help her find a balance and be normal and he was afraid the two of them would both meet their true death if he couldn't,

"Sookie look at me" Eric stepped toward her blocking her view of the door "look at me" her eyes drifted up to his face and like she thought she could see the pain she was causing him and she wanted to make it go away.

"I need air Eric" her voice was pleading

"Get me out of here please" Eric walked to her quickly wrapping his arms around her and kissing her neck

"I love you Eric" she squeezed him back before shoving him with all of her might catching him off guard as he stumbled falling backward over the desk as she flew out the door and into the night.

Eric jumped back to his feet shaking the broken glass from the lamp on his desk out of his hair, "Pam" his voice carried through the bar "I'm on it she yelled back" knowing that he was leaving and wouldn't be back until he found her, this wasn't the first time or the second or even the third Sookie was beginning to make a habit of running away when she couldn't handle things.

The first month as a vampire was usually the hardest but things never happened like the should for Sookie she was different and Pam understood why that bothered her so much, Sookie confided in Pam a few weeks ago when Eric went out of town to speak to the Authority about their situation.

"I hate this" Sookie snapped throwing herself down on Eric's couch

"What now" Pam rolled her eyes in Sookie's direction

"I'm a freak, I was a freak as a human and now I'm a freak as a vampire" Pam didn't reply to her remark because she knew being a vampire was hard enough but to have all of the issues Sookie had on top of it would be unbearable,

Eric looked across the bar at Pam as he headed out the front door he knew he was in for a long night, Sookie was good a hiding it was one of the many traits she inherited from Ocella. Eric took off into the night sky flying in circles around the trees and parking lots that surrounded the bar; he knew she was probably long gone by now but he hoped she was being honest with him when she told him she just needed air.

Every time Sookie had taken off in the past it led to trouble but she was getting better at controlling herself lately so he hoped that even if she did find a human to drink from she would be able to stop herself before she killed them,

Eric swooped lower as he watched the trees shake in the nearby woods normally he would assume it was some kind of animal but he could still smell Sookie nearby so he decided to take a closer look and it paid off as he watched her from just above the trees running back and forth through the woods like she wasn't sure where she was going.

"I know your there Eric" she screamed looking up in his direction

"What are you doing" he whispered still above the trees keeping his distance until he was sure she wouldn't run again,

"I told you I needed air"

Eric watched her body language noticing how much calmer she seemed to be, her eyes shining bright blue in the moonlight he swooped down wrapping his arms around her and laughing as he shot back up into the sky.

"You're not funny" Sookie said mocking his laughter

"Put me down Eric" her voice seemed sad as she up into his eyes

"No" he argued back flying further into the sky "you use to like this"

"how are you not angry with me" her concern warmed Eric's heart it was the first time in weeks she had showed remorse for her actions and in that moment he could see a small part of her humanity deep inside of her.

"Sookie I know this isn't easy for you but I just wish you would let me help"

She looked away from him quickly not wanting him to see what was really going on behind her eyes, "I don't want your help I want to be strong enough to do it on my own." Eric looked at her finally understanding what the problem was. She was being treated like a child unable to say or do anything for herself and even he was guilty of making her feel that way, Eric was sure he was making it easy on her by planning out her nights and telling her where to live and how to live but really he was taking away what made her who she was her independence.

I'm sorry" he pressed his lips to the top of her head

"But I can't trust you to do it alone, you know that right?"

"Yeah but" Sookie cut her sentence short, she knew he was right every decision she made on her own from the moment she was turned until now had caused them problems,

"I know" she exhaled an unneeded breath into his chest

It was just after she decided she wanted to main stream and Eric was busy making arrangements to meet with the Authority to discuss her situation, she argued with Eric that going to Fangtasia and sitting in room full of human blood bags wasn't the best idea and after a little begging and pleading he agreed. Sookie had been drinking human blood since she was turned and it was hard for her to admit but she loved the rush of holding a life in her hands teetering so close to the edge not knowing if you will stop in time, her blood would boil as the sound of the human heart slowing filled her ears and in that second all she wanted was the kill.

She knew she couldn't ever tell Eric about this side of her he would never understand how she could go from not wanting to hurt a fly to yearning to take a life, Eric was working so hard to prove to the authority that Sookie could be a benefit to the vampire race but she wasn't so sure his work wouldn't be in vein.

After spending hours convincing Eric to leave her home while he went to handle some business at Fangtasia she felt an uncertain relief when she was finally alone, it was only a matter of time before she started to feel restless her body ached for the hunt and the silence in the empty house seemed to only intensify the blood lust. Sookie was trying to do the right thing she wanted so badly to be one of those vampires that could pop open a bottle of true blood and be satisfied but the burning in her in the back of her throat and the way her skin crawled all over her body could only be cured by one thing.

She knew Eric kept a bottle of human blood in the fridge for emergency's and the neighbor three doors down passed by the house with her dog that's exactly what it became, Sookie hated and loved the sounds the human body made the heart thumping and the blood swishing through their vein it was heaven and torture all rolled into one.

Sookie downed the bottle of blood from the fridge feeling the tension in her body ease as soon as it made contact with her lips but she knew it would only be a matter of time before the blood lust took over again and she didn't want to be alone, she flipped her phone open dialing Eric's number hoping he could come home and she together they could find a better way to distract her but disappointment set in quickly when his voicemail picked up.

"Eric this is Sookie call me please" she hung up and stared at the phone willing it to ring,

Her patience was wearing thin after a few minutes of hearing nothing back from him she decided it would be better to be at Fangtasia with him and Pam than to be alone and possibly eat a neighbor, Sookie figure the blood she had drank would keep the hunger away at least until she go to the bar and she couldn't have been more wrong.

Sookie started off walking keeping to the woods and trails taking every short cut she knew to avoid any human contact, her plan seemed to be working well as long as she told herself that when she made it to Fangtasia Eric would find a willing donor and everything would be alright.

By the time she reached the woods behind the bar Sookie was feeling proud of herself, she had made it the entire way without hurting a single person and that would have been true if right at that second a couple hadn't walked out of the bar arguing.

She stood at the edge of the woods watching their altercation and she could feel herself getting aroused their anger and passion causing her thirst to spike and she could smell the blood as it moved through their bodies she wanted them not just one but both of them, Sookie couldn't form a calm thought she wanted blood and she had the perfect way to get it.

The couple argued not seeing her as she approached them from behind waiting for the perfect moment and when the couple leaned toward each other to embrace she attacked, slamming their bodies together nocking the air out of them she quickly drug both of them to the woods.

Sookie wasted no time biting into one and then the other savoring the moment by drinking a little of each at a time it was perfect watching the blood ooze from one while she drank from the other, she bathed in them covering her face and arms in their blood and licking it off it was the most amazing feeling Sookie had ever felt.

"Sookie"

Was the single word that brought her back to who she was, his voice was filled with fear and anger and she knew she had done wrong, like a scolded puppy she crouched back into the corner snuggling up to a tree,

"Oh god I'm sorry Eric" she whispered from her position on the ground.

Eric quickly jumped into action checking the humans for any signs of life he bit into his wrist filling their mouths with his blood hoping that it would erase the she had done. Sookie watched his actions as he took care not to hurt them more than she already had and she wished she had inherited his compassion instead of his strength, once the couple regained consciousness and Eric glammoured them half way to crazy to be sure they remembered nothing about coming to Fangtasia or the attack he walked away from her without saying a word.

"Sookie did you hear me?" Eric released her from his grip as they landed

"Huh"

"I said are you hungry" Sookie shook her head yes as they turned and walked back to the bar.

" Oh look who's back" Pam teased from behind the bar as she pulled out two bloods and handed them too Sookie,

"Pam" Eric called her down

"What she can handle it" she spat before going back to cleaning up the place

"Eric I'm fine" Sookie pulled the tops from the bottles of blood and sat quietly at the end of the bar drinking them

"Yeah she's fine Eric, for now" Pam laughed

"What's that supposed to mean" Sookie was annoyed by her comment

"I would tell you but you might run away before I finish" Pam snickered again turning her back to the bar

Sookie jumped from her stool catching Pam of guard she grabbed a hand full of her hair laughing as she slammed her face down on the bar

'What's the matter Pam losing your edge in your old age?"

Pam fought against Sookie's grip hissing and pushing with all of her might to get Sookie off of her but she was stronger than she anticipated,

"You freaky little brat, let go of me" Pam's fangs shot out making her words slur

The two of them struggled against each other Sookie to hold Pam in her place and Pam to break free

"Eric get you're fucking girlfriend off of me" Eric laughed as he watched Pam struggle with the fact that Sookie was not only her match in wits but in strength as well, "Sookie let her go" he said snickering under his breath as he walked back into his office leaving the two of them to fight like children.

"Only if she says please first" Sookie taunted her vampire sister knowing full well that she would meet her true death before she would say please to her.

"Fuck you Sookie" Pam continued to struggle against her grip; Sookie released her flashing quickly across the room with a rag in her hand she pretended to clean a table while Pam glared at her smiling a smile that might have terrified her if she were still human.