Everyone sang as Jim and Bones walked the cake to her, all twenty-five candles lit as Luna's smile spread across her face. Uhura wrapped her arm around her best friend and laid her head on her shoulder, so excited for her. Luna looked to Jim, smiling when the end of the song came. All Jim could do was stare at her. She looked so beautiful in the candle's light. "Happy birthday, dear, Luna!" Jim had to be obnoxious at her name, making her roll her eyes. "Happy birthday to you!"
Luna smiled at the candles as she shut her eyes and decided on her wish before blowing out the candles. Everyone cheered, Bones moving to kiss her forehead while Jim moved to kiss her on the lips. "Stop sucking face!" Uhura scolded as she practically pulled them apart. "You're going to mess up the baby's development."
"I think you're just making that up." Jim spoke as he turned to look at her.
"Besides," Luna laughed out at the two. Would they ever learn to not argue? "I'm only four months pregnant."
"Anyway," Sulu spoke, not liking to talk about what could go wrong at her stage in pregnancy because a lot could still go wrong, and he didn't want to jinx it. "Who wants cake?"
"Pregnant birthday girl gets to go first." Luna spoke obviously before grabbing a plate and putting it in front of Sulu.
The party went on, and as Jim and Sulu were getting into an argument over a movie, Nyota sat with Luna as everyone around them enjoyed the party. "So, have you put in any thought about what you're doing after graduation?"
Luna took a deep breath. She wanted to go on the Enterprise. Nyota knew that. Now, though, it was seeming like more of a fantasy than a reality. "Not lately, no."
"I think you could do it." Uhura spoke with a shrug as Luna gave her a confused face, not totally sure what she was talking about. "Be middle seat and raise your kid on the Enterprise all at the same time."
Luna had to do a double take at the mention of the supposed secret new position. "How do you know about middle seat?"
"Word gets around fast at the academy." She mumbled before taking a sip of her drink.
Luna just rolled her eyes at her. "I know I could do it, but I'm not sure if that's the best thing. I mean, Jim and his mother almost died on a starship when he was born. I don't want to put our baby in any danger like that. What if we get attacked?"
Uhura sighed. She hated to see this. Of course she was excited for the baby, but she didn't want to leave Luna behind while all of her friends were put on the Enterprise. "I understand where you're coming from, but I also think you shouldn't give up on your dream."
Luna sighed. Uhura knew she was disappointed with what was going to happen in May, but she was doing a good job at hiding it with everyone else. "There's a lot that has to be done on land. Maybe I'll do engineering." She gave a playful shrug to her friend, but Uhura wasn't any more convinced.
"But there's no flying on land."
Luna offered her friend a smile before squeezing her hand. "I'm going to be fine." She looked over at Jim. Sulu and Jim's argument had eventually died down and now they were laughing together. Jim turned over to Luna's direction, noticing she was staring so he offered her a little smile. She gave him a little wave and Jim knew something was wrong, but he also knew she didn't want to talk about it. He would find a way to subtly bring it up later. He turned back to his conversation with Sulu, but Luna looked down, thinking about everything she was giving up all over again. "I'll be fine."
Luna was in the closet, putting on her pajamas as Kirk laid in the bed with his arm behind his head just looking at the ultrasound pictures from two months ago. Tomorrow they would have new ones to look at, and they would finally know what kind of baby they were having. He had a slight smile on his face, finding himself perfectly at peace in that moment, thinking about his little boy or girl that would be joining them in just five months. "God," Jim sighed out. "I hope it's a girl."
Luna popped her head out, giving him a slight scoff. "You do know they say having a little girl is payback for all the things you did as a young man, right?"
Luna went right back into the closet as Jim's face straightened in realization before sitting up. Luna was rubbing cocoa butter on her now showing stomach as Jim still had a terrified look on his face. "Don't tell me things like that."
"You shouldn't have been an asshole." Luna taunted as Jim gave her a smirk. She looked back down to the cocoa butter. "God, this stuff your mom sent is really starting to burn."
"Well, she said it would help with the stretch marks." Jim spoke before moving to the book of baby names he had on the nightstand. This was starting to become a tradition. Every night they opened to a random page, picked a random name and discussed how they felt about it. "Okay, how about…" Jim paused when he saw the first name, looking up to Luna with an irritated stare. "Jeremy?"
Luna began to laugh while shaking her head. "No, our kid is not going to be some meat head red shirt."
"Oh, thank god." Jim sighed out with a laugh as Luna pulled down her shirt and began to make her way to her side of the bed. "Oh, wait." Jim called, putting his hands up in a square frame like a director. "The light is perfect right here." Luna began to roll her eyes. Jim was becoming obsessed with "capturing the moment" and it was driving her crazy.
"Jim," She complained.
"Hey," he spoke in defense as he began to focus his camera, "I'm trying to document this for our child. Do you want it to see you looking like a mad woman in bad light when you wake up or do you want it to see you looking angelic in this lamp light?"
Luna rolled her eyes, but honestly, she was loving how excited Jim was about this baby. It could have gone either way with him honestly. But Jim was a good man no matter how much he wanted people to think the opposite. Luna didn't expect to be here. Never in a million years would she have pictured Jim Kirk lying in her bed ready to snap a photo of her and her now showing pregnant belly. But here he was. And that made Luna smile.
Jim finally snapped the photo, it printing out of the camera instantly. Jim looked at it smiling. "Beautiful."
He then leaned forward and kissed Luna's cheek while placing his hands around her stomach. He slowly leaned down and placed little kisses on her stomach, Luna laughing when he got to her ticklish spots. "Oh." Jim spoke suddenly as he shot up to be eye level with her again. Luna looked at him expectantly with that wild look in his eye. "I have something to show you."
Jim ran into the closet as Luna shook her head at his childish attitude. The kid and Jim would have fun together. Luna moved to the bed and tucked herself under the covers when Jim came out of the closet with a little onesie that looked like the yellow shirts for command. It even had a command insignia. Luna immediately let out a loud laugh before placing a hand to her mouth in fear of waking up her sleeping father. "That is perfection." She laughed out. "What made you buy that?"
"Well," Jim spoke as he looked down at it. "I figured if I'm gonna be a captain and you're gonna be a pilot how cute would it be if we were a matching little family."
Luna could feel a tear fall down her face as she immediately wiped it away, not wanting Jim to see her cry. "Hey," Jim spoke in that soothing voice as he sat on the bed with Luna, moving towards her. "What is it?"
Luna let out sniffles before shaking her head at herself. "I'm just so damn emotional right now." Luna kept swiping the tears off of her face as Jim tried his best to wipe them for her. "And you said 'family' for the first time and…I don't know."
Jim gave her a slight smile before pulling her in to give he the tiniest kiss on the forehead. He looked into her eyes, Luna giving him a wide smile. "I'm happy." Jim whispered to her.
That just made Luna cry even more, the tears flowing faster down her face now. "No." Luna spoke as she broke away from him and began fanning her face as Jim laughed. "Stop, you're just trying to make me cry now. Go to sleep or something."
Jim let out another husky laugh as Luna brought her knees to her chest. "Well, we have about twenty minutes left of your birthday." He was beginning to rub her thighs seductively, making Luna raise her brows in intrigue. "What do you want to do?" Jim moved closer to her and began kissing her lips. Luna moved her hand to the back of his head as she pulled him closer and Luna suddenly remembered that was the touch that got them a baby in the first place. Jim broke away, giving her a little growl. "Miss. McCoy, are you trying to seduce me?"
Luna got a sly smile on her face, knowing just what to say to him. "Maybe…" she moved her lips to his ear for this one. "Captain." Jim practically quivered at her voice before leaning forward, flicking off the lamp in one smooth motion to go down and begin leaving hungry kisses all over her body. Come to think of it, "captain" got them into this too.
The two had eventually drifted off to sleep, Luna's belly pressed up to Jim's back as he continued with the deep breaths of sleep. And everything was fine. It all felt normal. Luna and Jim's bodies breathed together in perfect synch until…Luna stopped mid breath and sat straight up in bed.
She was having pain all through her stomach, and nothing felt right. When she finally located what was wrong, she began to panic, hitting Jim's back in fear. "Jim," She called.
"What?" He mumbled, half asleep.
"Get up." She spoke again, continuing to pat his back. "Something's wrong."
Jim let out a sleepy groan, pushing himself further into the pillow. "I'm sure everything's fine. It's just your paranoia."
Another painful surge rushed to her stomach, Luna letting out a little cry that time, making Jim turn around to look to her. "Jim, I'm bleeding."
That woke Jim right up. He sat straight up in the bed before flicking on the lamp and looking to her stomach and then to her. Call him crazy, but he swore it got smaller. When the light was on, Luna finally saw how soaked their sheets were in blood. "Oh my god." Luna cried out. "There's so much blood."
"We need to get you to the hospital." Jim spoke it almost monotone to try and keep her calm, but on the inside he was freaking out.
"Get me a pad from the bathroom." Jim was up in an instant, but Luna just kept looking down at the sheets. This couldn't be happening. Not after everything. Not after how excited they were just a few hours ago.
Jim hurried back, and Luna tried to get out of bed, but her cramps were just too much. "I got you." Jim whispered as he rushed to her side and picked her up in a simple scoop. He brought her to the bathroom, and once she was done cleaning up, he carried her to the car. He put her in the back seat as she continued to grip her stomach from the pain. Jim gulped, feeling his heart break just by looking at her. "I'm just gonna get Bones. I'll be right back."
Luna nodded. Jim just looked at her for a moment. Nothing would ever be the same again. He leaned forward, giving her a long kiss on her forehead before hurrying back in the apartment building.
Luna could hear the silence in the air. It was three in the morning, there was no sound on their street; the silence seemed to spread through all of San Francisco. Luna shivered as she looked down at her stomach. She wasn't sure if it was from the cold air or from how scared she was. All she could think about, though, was that one thought that crossed through her mind a few hours ago. A part of her wished it. In the very beginning she wished it. This was her fault.
Bones got into the driver's seat, slamming the door, breaking Luna out of her thoughts. Jim climbed into the backseat with her, putting on the seatbelt for her before putting on his own. Jim pulled her close as they began to drive, placing his arm around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head. All Luna could think about over and over again was her wish at the very beginning. How she cursed when she found out she was pregnant. She wanted to take it all back. She would give up everything to take it all back.
Bones was rubbing his face as Luna laid in the bed. It was a busy night in the ER, that was just making Luna's shivers worse. Jim was gripping Luna's hand, but that wasn't helping her when it usually would have. Luna just sat in the bed with her gown on as they ran the tests. Even if it felt stupid, she still had hope that maybe her baby was still alive.
The doctor hurried back to their closed off bed lined up with all the other ones. They all sat up, looking to the doctor with such alertness. The doctor looked at each of them before taking a deep sigh. She always hated giving this news. "I'm so sorry, Ms. McCoy." Luna looked down at those words. Bones put his face in his hands as Jim moved the hand he was holding closer to him. "But it was a miscarriage."
Luna blinked her tears away before making eye contact with the doctor. "What caused it?" Her voice was shakier than expected.
"The baby just had fatal genetic problems." Luna put a hand over her mouth, not being able to contain her tears anymore as Jim shut his eyes from the news. "There was nothing any of you could have done to change the outcome."
Luna let the tears wreck her body before giving the doctor a nod. "Thank you." She gasped out. "It must be hard to deliver that news."
Jim stood up and wrapped her in a hug. All the doctor could do was stand there. Luna's arms tightened around Jim's back as she cried into his shoulder. Bones continued to sit with his face in his hands, crying into them. Jim cried into Luna's head as his grip around her tightened. "I'm so sorry." The doctor told them as they continued with their tears. "Stay as long as you need."
Jim turned his head to look at her, but he refused to pick it up off of Luna's head. "Thank you." He spoke in a teary voice before she stepped away.
They all wanted that baby, and it was so hard to think about life without it now. All three of them would have given up anything to have it back, but there was nothing they could do. No amount of wishing or bargaining would be able to change that. And they were sure that was what hurt the most.
The rain splattered the windshield of the car as Bones drove. Everyone was silent. There was nothing they could say to each other that would make them feel better. Not right now at least. Once they got to the apartment building, they walked out of the car, not caring about the rain falling on them.
The ride up to their floor was silent, and when they got inside the apartment, they each went to their rooms. Jim closed the door after he walked in, following Luna. That's when they remembered the blood-soaked sheets. Luna looked at them before crossing her arms, feeling tears streaming down her cheeks again.
Jim put his hands on her shoulders before whispering in her ear. "Come on, we'll sleep in the guest bedroom tonight."
Luna nodded before taking his hand and following him out. They almost forgot they were clearing the area for a nursery. The dresser was out and there were paint samples scattered on the floor. Luna gulped, but this was better than sleeping in the room where it happened.
They both climbed into the bed, facing each other. Jim was looking at Luna, combing her hair back with his fingers as she let out little sniffles. Jim caught one of her tears before looking into those big brown eyes. They were so empty and sad. They weren't as lively and vibrant as they usually were. He pulled her right into his chest as she began to cry again. Jim wrapped his arms around her whole body as he began to cry into her head.
They stayed like that for an hour or so before falling asleep. All they could think of was why this happened to them when they wanted that child so much? Why was it always their lives that were surrounded by death? Would they ever be able to escape it? Why did their child have to be dragged into that when it did nothing wrong?
Bones took care of their sheets the next morning, but Luna was still afraid to go in there. All she could picture was the blood. She lied in bed with Jim, the two cuddled with each other, neither of them saying anything, no sounds, just their breathing. They didn't have the energy to talk, and they didn't want to watch TV. Everything just hurt too much.
Bones took up the responsibility to tell their friends since he knew Jim and Luna weren't going to do it. Right after classes, Uhura and Sulu made it to their apartment. Bones guided them in and knocked on the door. "Come in." Jim called in a bland voice. Those were the first words he had said all day, his delivery coming out dry.
Uhura was the first to walk in, very cautiously as she approached the two lying in the bed. "It's Uhura and Sulu." Bones spoke as Sulu walked in just as slow as Uhura did.
Jim and Luna sat up just a little, Jim gripping onto Luna like he was afraid to lose her as well. Luna hated the look on their faces. It was a look of sympathy that she didn't want to see right now. She had wished so much that she would wake up, and it would have all been just a bad dream. It wasn't, though, and she had to deal with all of the sympathy that was going to be coming her way.
Uhura moved to sit on the edge of the bed as Luna moved from Jim's grip. He didn't want to let go, though. He moved his hand onto her back, beginning to rub it as the two girls looked to each other for a moment. Luna felt the tears coming on, Uhura beginning to cry as well. They sat like that for a moment, words failing before wrapping their arms around each other and crying.
Luna knew she was crying for the loss of her baby and finally being comforted by her best friend, but Uhura was crying for more reasons. She was crying for the loss of the baby, but she was also crying for Luna. She knew Luna for a long time, and in that time, she had only seen her work through grief once before. She was shut off, wouldn't talk to anyone and sad and irritable when she did talk. She didn't want to see her go through that again, and she knew Jim was going to be the exact opposite. She didn't want Luna to lose the one last good thing she had out of all of this, but the way it was looking, she was afraid it was inevitable.
ellidraco1014: Thank you so much, love!
ImsebastianstanButter: I hated Lane so much, but I was so glad to write the part when everyone told her off (especially Luna). And reading the rest of your review before responding after writing this chapter just made me so sad.
rebootfan: Same! I had exams last week and I should have been studying, but I wrote a chapter. Whoops. I'm so happy I could make your day better when I probably just ruined it with this one.
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry, you're all going to hate me and I feel back about what I just wrote, but at the same time I don't. I wanted to let you guys know that you can follow me on Tumblr at janaespecter14. I post some edits on that blog, just search in the tag "luna mccoy" on my page. I'm also thinking about making a Spotify or Apple Music playlist for Jim and Luna, let me know which works better for you or if that's something y'all would even be interested in. Thank you all so much for your support and remember to review!
