After it all, Luna didn't want to be touched, but that was all Jim wanted. Just a little hand holding, the brushing of limbs, anything to assure that he and Luna were still in love with each other. Whenever Jim touched her, though, she shivered. She felt poisonous. A baby couldn't survive inside of her, and she had this irrational fear that if Jim touched her, she was going to hurt him in some way. The irony in it all was that she was hurting Jim by pulling away.

Whenever Jim tried to sit down on the couch with her, she got up and moved to another seat. Or when Jim tried to talk to her, she'd excuse herself. It had been like that for two weeks. She was constantly dancing around him. She didn't want to get too close, but she didn't want him to feel like she hated him. She loved him, she would never stop loving Jim Kirk, but every time she looked at him, she thought about their baby. And that's what was killing her.

Bones was trying to fix this situation as much as possible. If there were any chores, he would ask them to do it together. And that's how they ended up drying and putting away the dishes together. The silence was mind numbingly awkward, but no one knew how to start. They hadn't really talked since it all happened. "How are classes going?" Jim asked, not being able to take the silence anymore. Maybe if he changed awkward silence with awkward conversation, it would somehow bring them back onto talking terms.

"They're fine." Luna spoke before handing him the plate she had just dried. "How about yours?"

"Great." Jim spoke immediately, not sure how to continue the conversation.

Jim sighed before putting the plate up, deciding to bring up the only thing that would lead them to more conversation soon. "Do you want to go to dinner tomorrow? Just the two of us?"

Luna furrowed her eyebrow at that. "Like a date?"

"Yeah," Jim laughed out at the simplicity of it all. When was the last time the two actually went on a date? "Exactly like a date."

Luna bit her lip in thought. She loved the idea, but a part of her was going to feel selfish. How could she be out having a good night when just two weeks ago, the worst thing ever happened to their little family? She picked up another plate to dry it, not wanting to look at those baby blue eyes right now. "I don't know."

Jim leaned forward, softly placing his worn hand on her forearm. "Please, Luna." He sounded so pitiful, and Luna had ignored him for two weeks. She finally looked up at him, his eyes just as sad as she thought they would be. His hands felt rougher than she remembered...or had she just not touched him in that long?

Even if she was still grieving and every movement felt like a chore, she couldn't do this to Jim. He deserved her love and attention. He deserved all the love and attention she had, but what happened when Luna felt like she couldn't give it? "Of course." She finally answered, offering the best smile she could in her state.

Jim was lighting up, he was so pleased the two were going to actually sit down and talk. It felt like years since they had done just that. "Tomorrow?" Jim asked in confirmation.

"Right after class." Luna spoke with a nod, giving him that pained smile once again.

Jim took the bowl from her before reaching up to get to the top shelf. "Where do you want to go?" He leaned his back against the counter, an excited smile on his face.

Luna pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, not directly looking at Jim as she thought about it. He had to know she was uncomfortable. They knew each other for over three years. Or had they just become that distant lately? "Um," she turned to look at him. "I don't know, do you just want to go to that diner on Lincoln?"

"We can." He spoke with a shrug, his mind still lost in thought of how all of this was going to go. "You sure you don't want to go anywhere nicer?"

Luna took a deep sigh. The only reason she left the apartment these days was to go to school; how could he expect her to go on a fancy date? "I – I don't know, where do you – you want to go?" She hated herself for stuttering through that sentence, but she just couldn't help it. She was in a predicament.

"Well," Jim spoke, still looking down. "I was thinking of Cliff House."

Luna's head shot up as Jim met her face with a smirk. "You're kidding, right? Cliff House as in the one right on the beach? Off Point Lobos?" Jim nodded, that smile still on his face. "The expensive one?"

"Well," Jim spoke, his smirk turning into more of a smile. "I was going to say the romantic one."

Luna shook her head, taking a deep sigh. "No, Jim, we don't need to do all of that. I'm fine with the diner on Lincoln."

"Yeah," Jim sighed as he moved even closer to her, his eyes up in a fake thought. "Well, I want to take you out. You deserve it." Luna gulped down her nervousness before nodding to him, giving him another fake smile. Jim's face got so serious, there was almost a sadness behind it. Luna didn't know what it was for, but Jim knew it was the fear of losing Luna creeping back up on him. "I love you."

For the first time since everything happened, Luna willingly grabbed his arms and gave them a nice rub with her thumbs. "I know you do." Jim began to panic. Did she not love him anymore? What could he have done different between the past two weeks to change this outcome. "And I love you."

Jim gulped, swallowing all of his panic back down, but he couldn't stop the redness in his ears. Luna leaned in to kiss him this time, trying to assure him in any way that she was getting over this fear, but she wasn't. The whole kiss, she was trembling and when they pulled away, he was better than okay, but she took a shaky, worried breath.

Jim gave her a big smile, proud of her for beginning to get over her fears. Luna just gulped before offering him a smile. It wasn't fading away. She was afraid it would never fade away. She couldn't lose Jim over a stupid fear, but she was beginning to think it would be the best thing for him if she just got away.


They decided on taking separate cars to the restaurant since Luna's class ran later than Jim's. She ended up getting ready in her car so she wouldn't have to go back to the apartment. She knew Jim was already waiting for her. She wasn't sure how long he had been waiting, but knowing him, he probably went right at four even though her class got out at six.

When she pulled up to the restaurant, she looked around. The restaurant was on top of a rock, giving the perfect look on the ocean, not too high, but not too low. The waves began to crash into the rock holding up the building, Luna letting out a deep sigh. This place was so expensive and Luna didn't want Jim to pay for all of this, but if she knew Jim, he wasn't going to change his mind. She moved to the very long staircase to get inside and took a deep breath before attempting to climb them. God, she hated stairs.

Once she finally made it, she was nearly out of breath, but she was doing a good job of hiding it. The hostess guided her to the table Jim already had, and when he saw her, he stood up, infatuated with how she looked. She was wearing that lavender dress again. The same dress she wore on the night of their first kiss. Jim offered her a little smile which she gave right back to him.

When the hostess walked back to her post, Jim moved to her chair, pulling it out for her. Her smile got a little wider, almost forgetting about the grief for just a second. "What a gentleman?" she commented as he kissed the top of her forehead once she had sat down.

When Jim sat down, he smiled to her. "Yeah, well one of us had to be, and I wouldn't assume it would be you."

"Shut up." Luna spoke with an eye roll.

"You shut up." Jim spoke with a nod.

The waiter then walked up to the table to take Luna's drink order, and when he came back, it was with a large glass of red wine. Jim gulped a little bit as he looked at it. He was reminded that she actually could drink that again. Jim then looked down to his menu, not wanting to think about that anymore. "This place is really nice." Jim commented.

Luna looked to him as she finished her first sip and put the glass back down on the table. Since when did Jim engage in small talk? "Yeah, it is." She then rolled her eyes, getting a little smile, hoping to get his attention again. "I told you this place is too fancy for me. I feel like my farm girl skin is going to melt off." She then looked back down at the silverware setting. "I don't know what fork to stab myself with." She joked.

Jim looked up at her, giving her a small smile, but he was beginning to have the same problem Luna was having. Every time he looked at her, he was thinking about how pretty a little Luna would have been. "Yeah, I guess that's what happens when we go from Iowa to San Francisco."

Luna furrowed her eyebrows at him. The dinner hadn't even started, and it was already mind numbingly awkward. Just like with the dishes. Luna took a deep sigh, looking to Jim, knowing the only way they were going to get over the awkwardness was to talk about it. Even if this was the last thing she wanted to do, she knew they had to talk about their dead baby.

"Jim," Luna began. He looked up at her, his baby blue eyes standing out over the view of the ocean. "Can we please talk about what happened?"

Jim just looked at her. He knew the same thing Luna did, but half of him wanted to avoid it. "Are we ready to order?"

They both looked up at the waiter, panicked. As much time as they spent looking at the menu, they weren't really looking at it. "Can we just get a few more minutes?" Jim asked, still not looking away from Luna, mesmerized about what she had just said.

When the waiter walked away, Luna leaned into the table, not wanting anyone around them to hear. "Look, we haven't been talking about it and we've both been insanely sad and awkward with each other, so maybe if we actually talk, it will work out better."

All Jim could do was look at her. The two could barely hold a normal conversation lately; how would they talk about the worst thing that ever happened to them? Luna nodded with an upset smile on her face before picking up her wine again. "Or not, that's fine."

"You can't give me a minute to think?" Jim spat out.

"All we've been doing for the past two weeks is thinking about it." She spat out. "I thought you would have been ready."

"Okay," Jim spoke while throwing his hands in the air and leaning forward. "Miss. Prepared, tell me how you feel about it, and you'll see that it's not too easy of a topic to start up as normal dinner conversation." Luna rolled her eyes as she leaned back into her seat while crossing her arms. "Truth is, I wanted that baby and losing it was the worst thing that's ever happened to me." Luna's eyes drifted back to him, feeling them start to water. "But I'm trying to move on and get over it, so maybe you should too."

Luna went stiff, the tears threatening to fall immediately disappearing. "Get over it?" Luna repeated as she leaned forward with her arms still crossed, surprised that Jim would ever say that to her.

"That's not what I meant." Jim tried to defend as his face softened. He put his finger up, trying to tell her in some way he didn't mean it the way he said it. He didn't want her to get over it. He just wanted them to get back to normal again. "You know that's not what I meant."

"Well, at least I haven't been trying to force myself on someone who's been grieving."

"I haven't." Jim spoke, offended, leaning close to her, his voice going back into an angered hushed whisper. "You're the one who moved to the guest bedroom until you feel more comfortable."

They were beginning to get attention from their hushed whispers, but Luna didn't really care. She usually didn't want to fight with Jim, but right now, that's all she wanted. "Because all you wanted to do was touch me, hold hands, hug me, everything to be close to me."

"Because I was depressed!"

"So was I!"

Jim leaned back in his chair, trying to let his anger subside. "You've been acting like what happened meant nothing to me."

Luna's mouth fell, she was becoming furious. "I'm sorry, but when our baby was growing inside of you and you suddenly lost it, I would focus on whatever you wanted."

"You're so selfish." Jim mumbled.

Luna's rage reached its peak in that moment. She leaned forward, slapping Jim right in the face before she could even process what she was doing. If people weren't paying attention to the two before, they were looking now. The waiter rushed to the two, looking back and forth as Jim gave her an angry stare, the waiter afraid about what was going to happen next. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you two to leave."

"That's fine." Luna spoke as she got up from her chair and threw her napkin down on the table before standing up. "It's not the first time he got me kicked out of a restaurant." Luna hurried out of the restaurant while Jim settled the bill on their wine and tipped the waiter generously before catching up with her.

When Jim got outside, Luna was almost to her car, having to sprint to catch up with her. "Luna!" Jim called out. When she got inside the car, she slammed the door shut and started it. Jim made it to the car before she took off, knocking on the window. Luna took a deep breath. She wanted to hate him, but she could never stop loving him. She rolled down the window, but she didn't look at him. "Give me the keys, Luna. I don't want you driving while you're upset."

Luna knew she was out of line, but she just kept thinking how better off Jim would be if she wasn't in his life. She caused him so much pain, and she was just so rude to him, but all he was concerned about was her safety. "I'll be fine, Jim."

"Are you going home?" Luna began to roll up the window, but Jim was trying to do everything to stop her. "Luna, if you're going home, I'll drive you. I don't want you driving if you're upset."

Tears began to stream down her face as she gasped from it as Jim continued to pound on her window, pleading for her to get out. She drove off, hating that she was doing this to him, but she had to. It was the only thing that made sense to her at the moment. This was the only way the both of them were going to move on.

Luna just kept driving until she was stuck at a red light. She sat there, thinking about everything she had just done. Jim was going to hate her, and there would be no reason he shouldn't. As she sat at the red light, it turned green, but she just couldn't press down on the gas. She threw her head into her steering wheel and began to cry. She wanted that baby, and that was something she thought she would never be able to get over.

When she finally picked her head up again, the light was going from yellow to red. She took in her surroundings while the tears were fogging up her vision. She knew exactly where she was, though. She would have to take a right on Parker Avenue to get back to the apartment. She then looked straight forward, if she continued forward for a mile or so, she would take a right on Central Avenue and she would be at Sulu and Ben's house.

When the light turned green that time, she kept straight and drove until she got to her friend's house. She knocked on the door, knowing she was intruding, but this was only place she could go. Ben opened the door, not sure what he expected, but it was most definitely not Luna with her makeup running down her face, and a fancy dress as hot tears continued to pour down her cheek and run down to her chin. "Luna?" He questioned.

She wrapped her arms around him, not being able to take it anymore. He hugged her back as fast as possible, wishing he knew exactly how to help in that moment. Sulu walked up as the two hugged, a baby monitor in his hand as he studied the two. Luna was an absolute mess. He hadn't seen her this broken since the news about the baby.

Sulu dragged them in by pulling Ben into the house, Luna naturally following before Sulu shut the door behind her. As she sniffled and looked to one of her best friends, she opened her mouth to say something, but Sulu cut her off. "You stay here as long as you want, and you're not going to leave until you're good and ready."

"But your daughter," she spoke, slightly pulling away from Ben to look at Sulu, but still trapping him in a side hug. "I can't be here for a long time with your daughter."

"Hey," Ben spoke with a shrug, offering her a little smile. "You're free babysitting."

She gave him a weak smile before wrapping her arms around him in another hug that Sulu joined this time. Luna looked around the house as they shared a hug. She was going to be living here for a while, just until she could stand looking at Jim without wanting to bawl her eyes out…or until she could find her own place. Whatever came first.


Jim hurried into the apartment, looking around. Bones was on the couch, eating his dinner, confused by his entrance. Jim's eyes moved to Bones, the panic in them not going away. "Is Luna here?"

He was out of breath, moving into the guest bedroom that Luna had basically claimed as her own. The bedroom that was once Jim's. He flicked the lights on and when he couldn't see her in there, he became panicked.

"No." Bones finally answered. "And I thought you two were having a date."

Jim came back into the living room, seeing Bones' phone sitting on the coffee table. He hurried to it and began to search for Luna's number. "Yeah, well, she slapped me after I told her to get over it."

"You told her what?" Bones almost screamed at him.

"I didn't mean it like that!" Jim screamed at him as he pressed the call button. "Point is, she's not answering my calls, but she might answer yours." Bones was still giving him an angry stare at what Jim told Luna at dinner. He wasn't sure if he wanted to help him at all. Jim sighed while pushing the phone closer to him than it already was. "She was angry, and I'm scared."

Bones' face softened once he said that, suddenly scared for his daughter driving angry. He took the phone from Jim with a worried sigh before putting it up to his ear. He was becoming anxious at the sound of the ringing. He was starting to think she wasn't going to answer until the ringing finally stopped. "Hello?" She asked. Her voice was weak like she had been crying.

"Luna," Bones sighed out, Jim shut his eyes in a relieved sigh as well. "Where the hell are you?"

"I take it Jim is home."

"Yes," Bones sighed out, rubbing his eyebrows in worry. "And he's worried about you, and so am I. Where are you?"

Luna took a deep sigh, not sure how she was going to tell her father this over the phone. "I'm at Ben and Sulu's. I'm spending the night."

Bones took a deep sigh to calm his pounding heart. "So, you're coming back home tomorrow?"

Luna gulped. She had always lived with her dad. How was she supposed to tell him they wouldn't be anymore? "…no." It was so soft, Bones wasn't sure if he had even heard it right. "I'm gonna stay here for a few days and figure some stuff out."

Bones didn't know what to do. They had woken up in the same house with each other for twenty-five years, and now…they just wouldn't. "Darling, you can do that at home."

"No, dad," Luna sighed, knowing this was breaking his heart, but she had to do something for herself right now. She had to figure herself out. She hadn't done that in so long. "I really can't."

Bones looked over at Jim, both very worried about Luna and very furious at Jim. "I'll call you tomorrow." Luna promised.

"Wait, Luna," But she had already hung up.

Bones looked back to Jim, not sure whether to be angry or sympathetic. "What's wrong?" Jim finally asked, not wanting to wait for him to talk anymore.

"Well," Bones spoke, finally looking away from him to throw his phone back down on the couch. "Luna's moving out, thank you for that."

Bones then went to his bedroom, slamming his door behind him, leaving Jim standing in the living room. Slowly, he sat down on the couch, the TV's lights shining against his face as he thought everything over. Why did he let it get this bad? Was it him or Luna who let it get like this? Or a mix of both? Luna's school book was sitting on the coffee table, and when he looked at it, he thought about how bad he had messed it up. He picked it up and threw it into one of the walls, making the lamp knock over as well. He sat down on the couch again, throwing his face in his hands, taking deep breaths. Why did this have to happen to them?

ImsebastianstanButter: Jim and Luna are going to work out no matter how long it takes for them to get it right. I felt like you needed to hear that after this chapter.

rebootfan: Shit, dude, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. If it makes you feel any better I was a blubbering mess writing the last chapter and this one, so you're not alone. And to answer your question, yes, Luna's mother died during child birth. I'm thinking about expanding on her mother's story line because I've got ideas, but I have no idea how to weave them together. And yes, I'm going to be following the plots, but other things are going to happen so Luna will have a little bit of her own story line in them.

.2016: Thank you for all of your reviews, love! Glad you're liking it!

Okay, so, you're going to hate me again, but hey, it had to happen. But Jim and Luna are going to make it work. It's just not working for them right now. They'll get it right eventually, remember that! I hope you all enjoyed! Remember to review and I'll see you soon! I probably won't update until after the holidays so I just want to wish everyone to have a happy holidays! Eat lots of chocolate and watch stupid holiday movies. Okay, bye!