Another A/N regarding Ashley's position in losing Dylan over one beer during the last chapter: In reality, it happens. One of my friends got her child taken away under the same circumstances as Ashley - I based it on her events (after asking permission of course) and it really can take so much as drinking, only having one beer WITH a child in the presence. It's sad that it happens, but it does – in my area at least! I guess that's what irrational thinking does to you and who can blame Ashley, really. She just found out her parents were dead and she only had Dylan left for her, I'd probably be in the exact same position.
I don't own SoN.
Flashbacks are in italics
9 - Changing For The Better
Alex's PoV
"Why Leigh Avery?" I scratched my head and bounced a two year old Dylan on my knee.
"It's different yet I'm not straying too far." Ashley shrugged and put the pencil back in her mouth as she allowed her fingers dance along the keys and music flow through the studio.
"But why?" I asked again, playing with Dylan's curly hair. She looked back at me and gave me a toothless grin, squealing. She reminded me of my niece. I closed my eyes and tried to will the guilt away of not letting Ashley know about Lucas – or Spencer know about Dylan. "I just don't get why you are changing your name."
"I just want too," Ashley shrugged and looked up at me before leaning in and kissing Dylan on the cheek, taking her out of my arms, "credit on your album will still be in Ashley Davies," she said quietly, "but I just want to run for a bit yet not really go anywhere."
"What about Dylan?" I frowned.
"She's still Dylan," Ashley smiled as Dylan's tiny hands found their way to the keys on the piano, "her last name will be Avery as well, that's all."
I still didn't understand it but Ashley always had a reason behind her decisions. She said my name and I looked at her, raising an eyebrow. "I'm still me. The only change is the name."
"Okay," I shrugged, "Leigh."
"Besides," Ashley whispered, "I don't really want her in the spotlight and keeping Ashley as an alias seems safer. Keeping Dylan away from the public will be easier on her growing up."
I guess I could understand that. "So what, are you just staying behind the scenes from here on out?"
"I think you can handle this," Ashley smiled and nuzzled her daughter's neck before setting her down. Both of us watched Dylan run to her toys and play by herself quietly. "I will still do the studio time and help you with your lyrics but I'm done with the publicity. I want Dylan to grow up to know her mother, not always be with her grandparents."
I nodded sadly and shrugged. "Well at least we have two successful records, right?"
"Yeah, duh." Ashley smiled again. "I told you we'd get it done," she turned to face me and bit her lip, "I think it's time I stop holding your hand, Alex. You rock the stage with your talent. Maybe my dream was to be a rock star like you once upon a time and creating it is an amazing feeling, but," she glanced over at the small brunette playing with large blocks, "she's what I'm more concerned about now."
"I know." I said softly and patted her hand. "So when I head out on tour next week, you're not coming with?"
"No," she whispered and looked at me, "but you'll be fine on your own. You have your groupies and your girlfriend."
I smiled and nodded, standing up. "I'm going to go for a walk, I'll be back in a bit." I moved to kiss Dylan on top of the head and grabbed my keys.
"Bye!" Dylan waved enthusiastically and I couldn't help but grin at her.
//
"Alex Carlin, may I have your autograph?" Jaiden smirked and sat down at the kitchen table, rubbing her eyes from sleep.
"Does that ever get old with you?" I asked, pouring her a cup of coffee and sliding it in front of her.
"Nah," she shrugged and took a sip, looking at me, "so where's your hot hockey playing fiancée?"
"Playing hockey." I smirked and pointed at her clothing. "Spent the night again?"
"Yea, Aimee and Spencer had a 'date' only it wasn't defined as a 'date'." Jaiden rolled her eyes and I couldn't help but chuckle. "What is it with those two anyway?"
"Just friends with benefits." I shrugged.
"That never works," the teen sighed and stretched, "I know."
"Is that what Jyll is?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No, Jyll was a friend with benefit. Now she's more than that." She shrugged and took another sip of her coffee.
"Auntie Alex," Lucas climbed up on the stool and smiled at me, "where is mom?"
"Oh," I frowned and looked at Jaiden for help.
"She had to run to the office this morning," Jaiden smiled and got up, grabbing a box of Frosted Flakes and a bowl for the smaller blonde, "she'll be back before lunch."
"Yeah." I said somewhat feeling stupid that even I couldn't think of a good excuse for my sister's absence.
"Morning!" Dylan came out wearing a pair of jeans and a small sweater, climbing up beside Lucas on the stool.
"Morning brat." Jaiden grinned and grabbed a second bowl. "How did you sleep?"
"Better." Dylan frowned slightly. "Lucas climbed into bed with me."
"I was worried about you." Lucas blushed and put her head down.
"Aww," Jaiden smiled and ruffled the small blonde's hair, "if you were seven years older kid, you'd so be my girlfriend."
Lucas blushed even deeper and I detected a small crush forming.
"Well," I cleared my throat and passed the teen the milk, "I'm going to shower. You three behave." I smirked and placed a kiss on Lucas' and Dylan's forehead.
"Where's my kiss?" Jaiden gasped and I shook my head, rolling my eyes as I exited the kitchen.
I heard a small kissing noise coming from the kitchen and then Jaiden, "Lucas Carlin! That was the best kiss anyone's ever given my forehead!" and then the three ladies from the kitchen burst into laughter.
Ashley would be happy to know that her daughter was now in good hands. Best hands.
Spencer Carlin's hands.
//
"What is going on?" I blinked as I looked at a fragile Ashley, who was rocking back and forth while biting her thumbnail as she sat alone in her house.
"I lost her." Ashley croaked out and shook her head, staring at the wall in front of her. "I had one fucking beer and it cost me everything!" She all of a sudden threw a decorative plate against the wall and laughed as it shattered to the ground. She turned to look at me and bit her lip, "Dylan's gone and I tried to call you. I tried to get a hold of you and you were too fucking busy to even return a message."
"Ash," I frowned and she shoved me out of the way before kicking open Dylan's bedroom door open. Her closet was almost bare and I frowned, "where is she?"
"Gone!" The brunette screamed, tears running down her face. "Where were you, Alex? Too fucking busy to call me back? Too fucking busy flirting with your groupies? No wonder Sammy broke up with you."
I slapped her across the cheek and she stared at me, her hand holding the place where my own hand had made connection. "I'm sorry." I stuttered, amazed at my own actions.
"Get out." Ashley whispered. "Get out right now, I don't fucking need you."
"I came as soon as I could! I got your message and came as soon as I could!" I pleaded and tried to grab her but she pushed me away.
"Dylan's gone. Dylan's gone and I don't know how to get her back." Ashley cried, her whole frame sank forward as her body racked with uncontrollable tears. "She's my whole world, Alex."
"I know." I frowned and bit my lip, sighing as she let me run her back for comfort. "What happened?" I whispered.
"My parents are dead." Ashley deadpanned and glared at me before casting her head down.
"What?!" I shrieked and shook my head. "No!"
"Yes!" She screamed hysterically. "I went to pick up Dylan from a birthday party and had one beer beforehand. She was in the car with me when she mentioned her grandparents and I couldn't handle it anymore. I cried and the tears that gathered up in my eyes caused me to run a red light and poof," she hoarsely whispered, "she's gone."
I stumbled back and sat down on the chair in the middle of the living room. "She's- she's gone?"
"They took her away from me. I wasn't a bad parent! I wasn't…" Ashley sobbed and fell over more. I couldn't help but fall to my knees and pull her into me, crying with her. My heart calmed slightly knowing that 'gone' never meant 'dead'.
Ashley was by far the best mother I've known, aside from Spencer. She made sure Dylan was well taken care of. Made the brunette eat her vegetables, watched Barbie movies with her, read her bed time stories and helped with her homework. I hadn't seen Dylan since she was four but I was given school pictures that hung next to Lucas on my tour bus.
"I'm sorry about your parents." I cried and her body shook harder.
It took a while to calm down Ashley and I finally got her settled down. I sat there in the dark, watching her restless body toss and turn. People thought that I was madly in love with that woman. I loved Ashley. She was my best friend but I wasn't in love with her. I regret the things I have done since high school and leaving Spencer behind was the biggest one. I knew that it made me a lousy sister but I was a Carlin and I was just as stubborn as the rest of my family.
Once I found out Ashley was pregnant, I couldn't just leave her. It felt good to know I was there for her.
I got up slowly and made my way towards the living room, picking up my cell phone. One phone call to my father and I told him the whole story. He was just as blown away as I expected and wrapped the fact that Ashley and Spencer both had daughters. What amazed him more was how I kept it all a secret.
My dad had formulated a plan and told me to keep an eye on Ashley as much as I could. He dealt with those kinds of situations a lot and sometimes the parents end up falling over the deep end regardless if they were innocent the first time around or not.
I crossed my fingers in hopes that my dad, the hero, could somehow find a way to get Dylan back safely to her mother. My only job was to keep things smooth for Ashley.
I hoped I could do well enough.
-\-/-
