"Thanks Ms. Maria." I said with slight exhaustion as I walked to the doorway, "I'll see you on Monday."
"I'll see you then too." She smiled slightly at me, "And remember, if you have problems with the homework just send me an email."
"Sure thing!" I exclaimed back, finally regaining some energy: "I'm sure I'll get an A on the next exam!"
That was a lie… I could probably get a B though!
As I closed the door behind me, I heard a raspy and tired sounding voice speaking to me: "You should just give up… Life is meaningless."
I was caught off guard as I turned to see who it was, "Oh! Kai! Your voice sounds different."
"Yeah I've been smokin' the joint… trying to have another rad epiphany."
"Oh! That's great…" I squeezed out awkwardly, trying to think of a way he wouldn't try to sell me some drugs or weed, "Say, are you confident about the next algebra tests?"
"I am confident." He replied back in a hazed state.
"Sooo you'll get a good grade?" I asked, trying to avoid eye contact. I stared at his anime shirt in the meantime.
"No I'll probably get an F… or a D. But it doesn't really matter so I don't care! And neither should you! You shouldn't work yourself up over a capitalist agenda!"
I raised my eyebrow at him and thought of a way to respond that could make him leave, "Me trying to get higher than a C on my algebra exam is contributing to the top 1% getting richer while others stay in poverty?"
"Yes, exactly! You gotta fight the system."
"Maybe you should fight the system by, uh… voting when you're older?"
I probably shouldn't have said that, but I needed something to spit out in an attempt to end the conversation civilly.
He looked at me like I just murdered his puppy, "No way! Voting is also a part of the capitalist agenda!"
I don't know how I got here at this moment but all I knew was I wanted out… "Then how are you going to fix these issues?"
"Uh… well…" He seemed perplexed by my question, "By not being a part of the system!"
My eyes widened in shock but I tried to subdue them, "Great idea and all, but how does that actually change anything? To me it just sounds like you want to be miserable and drag everyone down with you."
"Whatever, you're a loser who acts like a robot anyway so I don't care!" He yelled as he started walking down the hallway.
Finally it's over.
I spoke too soon, as he came stomping back to me, "Just admit that my ideas are at least good and valid!"
What ideas?
"Your consideration has been programmed into my database. Processing will happen in three business days." I responded, trying to sound as monotone as possible.
"Pfft, whatever." He managed to get out before storming off.
Wow, my mom's typical speech patterns actually worked! I'm getting good at this.
I waited for Kai and his messy dyed forest-green hair to be out of sight before I continued walking. The black bandana he wore always dramatically swayed in the wind as he stormed away from whatever monologue he just delivered to me or Ezra.
As I had this thought, several students came walking by and looked at me strangely.
Damn it… I must have been making that look again. Where I make a smug face and put my hands on my hips… happens when I am thinking to myself too much. I look crazy.
"Where is she?" I asked angrily to Austen, tapping my foot on the library floor rapidly.
It might not be worth it to string her along if she isn't even going to show.
"Are you sure she knew to meet at the library?"
"Of course, where else would we meet? The janitor's closet?"
"I don't know… does it have wifi?!"
Austen has been my friend for 6 years at this point, and I grew relatively frustrated with him the older we got. Sure, I moved from Portugal when I was six and he moved from Ethiopia but beyond that? We had nothing in common despite being on the same football team.
"Oh, sorry I'm late!" JJ whisper-yelled as she ran in and took a seat next to me, "I was being hassled by Kai, y'know, the usual."
"Who is Kai?" I asked with genuine curiosity.
"Uh, Kai? I talked about him last week for like 10 minutes straight."
"Oh, I must have not been paying attention. Sorry."
I never pay attention to what she says unless it has to do with homework, or whatever hot outfit she was planning to wear.
"Oh that's alright, hi Austen!" She greeted as he waved back while blushing.
I elbowed him a bit to get him to stop making a fool of himself. It's not right for a guy to show so much emotion.
JJ began speaking again, "So, about your paper: I found some grammatical errors of course but it's nothing that can't be fixed quickly. Also your intro paragraph is only 3 sentences longer, it should have more context to it…"
She droned on and on about a paper due tomorrow that I only had written the first 2 paragraphs for.
"So it makes sense, right?"
"Uh… yes! I get it! You should show me an example though, like how would you add some more, uh, context to the intro paragraph?"
"Well if you're going to be comparing two books, you should mention immediately the trends that tie them together before briefly bringing up the differences. And then add your thesis at the end, of course."
"Yeah, sounds great! You're seriously a genius."
"Aw, thanks! It's not often I get complimented for my smarts. I guess people usually just see the blonde hair and my bubbly personality and think I must be some idiot… I'm glad you two treat me like a human being."
"Of course, there's a lot of great things about you."
She was way too positive though. In an annoying way. Not only that but she will bitch at you if you say something she thinks is incorrect. If she wasn't such a smartass, maybe I would get with her.
I smiled at her as genuinely as I could, "You should probably write some examples for me!"
Before I knew it, two hours had passed and I had basically tricked her into writing me the whole paper. By this point, Austen had already gone home.
"Awesome! Now that you've given me a good example paper I can write a good one when I get home. Thanks so much, JJ!" I exclaimed, trying not to sound fake as I hugged her.
She blushed, "Oh, I… Um, no problem!"
I'm not sure when I started to like Tony, but it felt like a truck hit me when I realized it.
"Alright, I'll be heading home then! I'm sure my dad made that delicious autumn stew again!"
"Alright, see ya!" He replied as he gathered up his things.
I decided I was gonna go home and watch community after dinner. It allows me to escape from school for a bit. Which is weird because it's about college, but anyways… I like to fantasize about having a big friend group like that. Even when I was popular in middle school it was more like I just talked to everyone, not establishing deep connections.
"Hey! Jane! Stop right there!" I heard a feminine voice calling for me as I just got to the exit door.
Dear God just let me leave this school.
I slowly turned around with my eyes closed. Hoping that maybe with a wish, I'd be home as I opened them.
Madison began patronizing me as an exaggerated smile painted her face, "Thank you so much for signing Tony and Austen's petition! I was going to, but I didn't want to waste ink and all. Yknow, the turtles."
Madison and her tag-along partner in crime, Aubrey, stood across from me, their intimidating presence alone making me tense.
Madison kept tilting her head from side to side as she continued, her dyed black and purple hair following her every movement like a small dog chasing a treat. She had a balayage style in middle school, but she's changed to keep up with the trends. She may be fake but she had good style no matter what she did.
…
"Hey, are you listening?" Aubrey asked gently.
I shook my head the tiniest bit, "Oh, yeah, I'm not mad about not making the cheer team. I might be too busy for it anyways now, so I might have actually dodged a bullet."
Madison tried to keep her cool but I could see pitchforks and torches in her eyes. I only realized afterwards that my seemingly-to-me innocent reply probably itched a spot on her bitch-meter… oops, swear jar!
"Haha, yeah, really dodged a bullet there!" She responded with a slight twitch of her eye.
JJ got away from our mess as soon as she could. Madison had kept a smile for a bit before grimacing to me.
"You ruined EVERYTHING, Aubrey! You told me not letting her on the cheer squad would DESTROY her!" She exclaimed as she hugged me tightly and began sobbing uncontrollably.
I responded with half empathy and half fatigue, "Don't be sad, we only stayed after school for two hours for nothing."
Madison and I had grown-up together, and despite some of our differences, we were united in one thing: we would punish Jane Johnson for what she did to us.
I stared out the window as my dad drove on. Despite the love I had for my father, it was difficult to deal with his high energy when I was exhausted from the detention center… I mean, high school.
"Listen cocoa…" He began speaking to me, using his favorite nickname: "I know you have the two greatest parents in the world, but you still need to humble yourself at school so the other kids don't get insecure."
I just looked up at him with a smirk, knowing something must be up. I looked straight into his ocean eyes hoping he would break character.
He erupted into a boisterous belly laugh, "HAH! As if!"
"Woah! Watch out!"
"EeEeEe!" My dad managed to squeeze out some random-voweled words as he swerved a bit.
As I comprehended the sound of honking, he continued: "Sorry about that…"
"... It's okay, just focus on the road and we can talk at home."
My dad was funny, but he also tried to kill me quite often.
…
Daria's phone rang on the table next to her as she stared vacantly at her laptop.
"Jane Lane." She said right as she answered the call, "Better let it ring so I can pretend I wasn't near my phone."
"Haha, very funny."
"Would it be selfish to say you called at a bad time?"
"Artist block? Yep, we all get it." Jane replied across the line, Daria feeling like she could see her smug face through the line.
"The agency wants me to write a bestseller that appeals to a broader audience. All because I shilled out a couple formulaic adventure books for elementary students."
"Wow Daria, the fame has seriously gotten to your head. Think about the little man."
"The little man in this scenario is Billy from down the street who demands I write a prequel to Mice Who Eat Rice."
"That was a fun read, Daria! You shouldn't be putting down the greatest children's book protagonist of all time: Mr. Mincer."
"Now you're pushing it."
"It's what I live for."
Daria paused for a moment, realizing she probably should have started the conversation differently: "Oh, um, how are things in Portugal?"
"It's going great. Flirted with some hot locals, went to a nude beach, robbed a couple places…"
"Sounds like a bestseller to me. Maybe I should write about you."
Jane laughed a tiny bit, "They said a wider audience, not a perverted audience. But no, really, I've just been traveling around looking for different art inspiration. I've got so many ideas for pieces but just can't finish that first step."
"And what would that be?"
"Putting the brush on the canvas."
"Figures."
"So how are things in Texas?"
"If you told me I'd be living in Houston when we were in high school, then I'd know you were a fake prophet."
Daria could hear the door fling open, "Moooom, I'm home!"
"Me too honey!"
Jane mocked Daria from her Samsung, "Aw, isn't it cute they both feel the need to notify you?"
"How did you even hear that?"
"It's the power of the iPhone, Morgendorffer. You should join the cult."
JJ walked into the kitchen to greet Daria, "Hey mom, I know you might be busy with your writing but are you gonna help dad with dinner?"
Daria ignored her question, "If it isn't my favorite little accident."
JJ took off her backpack and hung it on the back of a chair as she chuckled, "If any normal person heard you say that, they'd call child protective services."
Jane called out to Daria, "Hey! Put me on speaker, I wanna talk to the scamp."
"Don't say anything weird." She replied as she followed her request.
"It's not too late JJ, you can still escape from that hell hole and come live with aunt Jane!"
"Alright that's enough of that…" She said as she turned off the speaker phone.
"Dad, make dinner fast. I've got to watch Community tonight after I finish my biology homework." JJ pleaded to her father as he came into the kitchen.
"Sure thing cocoa, just make sure to let that bio teacher of yours know that she's overworking my genius daughter! She may be smart, but she's got a ton of hobbies and skills too." He gloated as he opened the fridge and began picking ingredients.
Jane spoke to Daria, "Wow, she wants to watch Community. It must have been a rough day for her."
Daria smiled a bit and brushed off her comment, "I've got to make sure she gets dinner fast before she stirs the pot so hard it spills on the floor again. We should wrap this up soon."
"Yeah, I've got to actually start painting this bitch anyways. Make sure you take care of your daughter and stop working so much." She said the last part sarcastically.
"I have a picture of my mother by my bed to remind myself of that."
"Oh, and Daria…"
"Yeah?"
"You're so sappy for naming your daughter after me."
"Hey!-" Daria exclaimed as Jane hung up, "Ugh, wasn't my idea anyway… entirely."
She paused for a bit before getting up and helping with dinner, "Kody, would you say it was more my idea or yours to name her Jane?"
Daria took the spot of stirring from JJ, so the young girl took this opportunity to scamper to her room to start the endless grind called "homework."
"Well, I'd say it was more my idea. But I had to convince you." He teased, "You always went on and on about how Jane was who meant the most to you. Besides your parents, of course."
"You're making me sound like I have a heart of some sort."
"Of course you do, I found it a long time ago." He flirted as he brought her close.
"Wooooo… Okay…" She swooned awkwardly as she blushed.
"You're blushing!" He prodded as he got even closer.
"I'd say it's because we're standing near the lit stove but we both know that's a lie."
The two pull in for a kiss.
"EEEEW!" A little boy shouted in disgust from the kitchen opening, "That's nasty!"
"Now Troy," Kody began lecturing, "I've told you multiple times that you might understand when you're older."
"No he's right. It's gross." Daria replied monotonously, before she smirked at her husband.
"Well… anyways," Troy began trailing off as he stared at his shoes, "I got another 'reprimanding' from the teacher today…"
Kody's smile turned to a disappointed frown, "What did you say this time?"
Kody continued scolding as Daria walked back near the stove to stir the pot.
"Just... read the note." He whined as he handed a yellow sticky note to his father, "It wasn't even that bad..."
Kody cleared his throat and began reading: "I regret to inform you that your seven-year-old son has once again verbally abused several fellow students with phrases such as, and I quote, 'low-life specimen, brain aneurysm, and retrograde primate'."
"Such eloquence," Daria gleamed from near the stove before pouring a bowl of soup and sitting at the table, "What seven year old do you know that can insult someone with a phrase other than fart face?"
"Daria!" Her husband snapped at her, "Don't treat this like a joke: it's very upsetting to the other children and causes a ruckus in the learning environment, and-."
"I said that to the other kids because they said your jokes were bad..."
Kody's face went blank as he straightened up, "Well, that's a very good reason to snap at somebody! Y'know, sometimes you have to-"
"So now it's okay to insult your fellow classmates?"
"Listen Dara," He teases, "Sometimes you've got to show people who's boss."
"Mmmhm..."
"And they probably don't know what any of those terms mean anyway."
"It's true..." Troy says quietly as he puts his bowl on the table and pulls out his chair, "The students didn't even know what I said, but of course Mrs. Dunklaberg had to make a big deal about it..."
Daria looks at her son, "Go easy on her, kid. Her last name is Dunklaberg."
Kody gets up, "Oh, right, I should probably call Jane down."
"Go get 'em tiger." Daria replies with no enthusiasm.
"Jane, come get your bowl!"
I pushed my laptop to the side and groaned, "There, done."
My thoughts began flooding in as I leaned back in my chair to relax in the fruits of my labor... I can't wait for the weekend.
Being alone was both a solace and a curse. It felt like I didn't have to put on an act. I could finally let my "true" self out, which was just very... very tired, and sad. The voices in my head would echo whenever I closed my eyes. My thoughts raced the most when I tried to sleep at night. Makeup can only hide so much...
Faker... try hard... bitch... condescending... boring... bland... goodie two shoes... teacher's pet... flip-flopper...
What do any of these words even mean? Ard they true?... Is that why I can't have any close friends?... Everybody else seems to have close friends... Why can't I?
I will change... I will change... I will change... I will change... I repeated to myself over and over again as I hovered over my desk. My eyelids shut slowly to shed a couple silent tears.
"Jane, come get your bowl!"
My dad's shouting made me jump in my chair. I wiped some of the tears from my brown eyes and stood in front of the mirror, smiling as I pulled my blonde hair into a ponytail.
Don't let them know...
