Flashbacks are in italics

12 - Maybe It's Just Me

Alex's PoV

I tossed my head back and laughed as the cute brunette touched my arm, laughing as well at the joke that was thrown out there by some other groupie.

"So Alex, is the tour bus ready?" Cute brunette batted her long eyelashes at me and I smiled, touching her cheek and pressing my lips to her ear.

"Not for you sweetheart." I murmured and she pulled back, looking somewhat defeated.

"Alexis Marie Carlin." Sammy's voice boomed through the swarm of ladies that surrounded me. She looked a little pissed and I couldn't blame her. I was supposed to meet her out back and instead got caught up in the sea of women.

"Samantha," I smiled, trying not to make a scene, "I was just coming to get you."

Sammy rolled her eyes and tapped her watch. "You do realize I have a flight to catch in a few hours? I was hoping to at least get some alone time with my girlfriend." She emphasized the last word and looked at the other women around me. "But it seems you have your hands full."

"No!" I rushed and caught her by the wrist. "I'm sorry, they are fans that wanted attention." I whispered.

Sammy cocked an eyebrow and shook her head, laughing slightly. "I'm your girlfriend who wants your attention. Seems your priorities are somewhere else." She continued to walk away and I swallowed, following her like a lost puppy that had just been kicked. "Go away Alex." She said in a hurry as she swung the large steel door open, both of us taking a deep breath of the fresh air.

"Please," I pleaded quietly and she spun around to stare at me, "I've missed you."

"I could tell." Sammy sighed, somewhat defeated as she bit her lip. "I skipped two finals to come see you this weekend and I've seen you a total of ten hours. Five of them sleeping and two of them watching you in concert."

I swallowed and noticed tears fill up in her eyes. "Sam," I whispered again, stepping closer to her, "come here."

"No." Sammy shook her head and stepped away, pulling a pair of sunglasses over her eyes. "I'm proud of you Alex, I am," she whispered, "I've watched you blossom into a beautiful musician who takes her talent seriously." Her eyes were covered and I couldn't see them, it bothered me but every time I stepped closer to her, she'd step back. "I'm going to go to Greece and do some work and research there this summer," she sniffled and looked away before her eyes became clear again, her sunglasses now on top of her head, "I can't do this anymore."

"What?" I asked, frowning.

"This!" Sammy said loudly, twirling around with her hair flowing behind her. "God Alex, you have lost yourself in all of this."

"I am right here." I grabbed her by the shoulders gently and she stopped her movements, staring at me. "See? I'm right. Here."

"Why don't you take a break?" She finally said, casting her eyes downwards, almost shyly.

"A break. I can't take a break, I'm in the middle of a huge tour and I fly out to Japan next week!" My eyes widened at the thought of leaving millions of fans disappointed.

"You'd rather leave than be with me?" Her voice sounded hurt.

"Sam you can't ask me to choose between this and you. You just said you were proud of me." I crossed my arms.

"Well I'm sorry okay?" Sammy hollered and laughed as if it was the funniest thing in the world. "I'm only human. I miss my girlfriend and all I wanted to do was just be with her. Is that too much for a girl to ask?"

"No," I whispered and hung my head, "I really do miss you."

Blue eyes snapped up to challenge me. "Then prove it."

I stepped back and frowned, shaking my head. "I will not leave this tour! I've worked too damn hard to be where I'm at!"

"Right, and everything I've ever done for you, for us, is just bullshit? It doesn't count? We don't count?" Sammy yelled angrily and glared at me. "Fine, so you don't want to leave your tour, I get that. At least take a fucking break afterwards."

I swallowed. "I was going to start the next albu-"

"I can't do this." She finally said in a calmer tone. "I can't do this with you anymore Alexis. We're living two separate lives now and I really don't know how we're going to get it all sorted out into one."

"Don't you dare say we're over." I hissed in a hurtful tone, tears threatening to spill.

"Do you even remember what today is?" Sammy blinked back her own tears. I stared at her and she just shook her head and grabbed her wallet, throwing me her hotel room key. "You want to live the life of a rock star? Fine. Have fun. Enjoy it Alexis, really, because when you look ahead and realize that the path you chose was not right for you," she gave me one last glance before putting on her shades, "I won't be here."

I watched her walk away while yelling her name but she didn't listen. She didn't want me. Maybe if I gave her time she'd come back.

"Do you even remember what today is?" Sammy blinked back her own tears.

As I watched her walk away and heard the tears coming from her, I realized what day it was.

Her birthday.

//

I haven't paid my dues. I haven't even begun to make up for the mistakes I have made in the past. My relationship with Sammy ended so quickly and I did what I swore I wouldn't – watch her walk away.

I've come to find Sammy in my life again. A successful journalist who travels the world and writes columns for National Geographic. She added me as a friend on 'Facebook' and asked if we could meet up sometime. It was heaven in its own right but I couldn't jump at the chance before talking with Tracey.

Given the history.

"You really don't mind?" I asked Tracey as she sat back on the bed, curling her feet under her.

"Why would I mind?" Tracey let out a soft smile and patted the spot beside her. "I mean, do you feel I have a need to be worried?"

"No!" I jumped on the bed and tackled her backwards, playing with the collar of her shirt. "I just, I wasn't sure how you'd react."

"Alex, I'm not that woman." She sighed and tucked some hair behind my ear. "You can be friends with exes without me getting all jealous," her hand splayed over my heart, "I know that I have you."

I smiled and nodded, moving to kiss her softly.

"When will she be in town?" Tracey asked, her fingers threading through my hair.

"She is in town." I bit my lip and brown eyes looked at me curiously. "I wasn't keeping it from you. She just let me know through an email this morning."

Tracey nodded and looked at the clock. "Well I'm leaving again in three hours, so if you can make it until after then, it'd be appreciated."

I grinned and winked. "I'm yours for however long you need me, or want me."

"Let's try forever." Tracey grinned and pulled me back down on top of her.

I wasn't going to waste time with her like I did in the past. Tracey Philips was no Samantha Taylor but that was the point. They were different and I could make Tracey happy, I could live my life for her and I took breaks when she asked me too.

Despite how in love with Sammy I was in the past, it didn't compare to how I felt with the woman in my arms.

//

"Well," her voice was thick and I smiled at her as she approached my booth in 'Rapture', "looking good as always."

"You too," I stood up and waited until she slid into her own seat, "how are you, Sam?"

Sammy nodded and took a sip of the ice water I ordered for her beforehand. "Not bad really. I'm actually getting ready to fly back down to New Zealand to do some research."

Sammy loved to travel. It had been a while since we talked and even though we made amends after our break-up, things were never the same for us. Not even best friend status was in the friendship we had shared.

We've drifted completely. "How are you?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Congrats on the engagement."

"Thanks." I smiled. "I've stopped touring for a bit but hopefully things will pick back up in March."

Sammy nodded and looked around the place we were sitting at. "You weren't lying when you said this place was pretty amazing."

"I know," I beamed and she chuckled, "wait until you meet the owners."

As if on cue, Chase came out and took out her notepad, looking at us smiling. "What can I get for you and your friend, Alex?"

Sammy looked the woman up and down and smiled at me. "Now I see why you come here."

Chase raised an amused eyebrow and leaned forward. "And why would that be?"

"Ugh," Jaiden came out of nowhere and pushed her mother out of the way, "why do women have to hit on you while I'm here?!" She looked over at Sammy and tilted her head, a small smirk tugging at her lips. "Ah, I see why now."

"Don't you have a girlfriend you should be drooling over?" I asked as Sammy chuckled when Jaiden nodded but scooted into our booth with us.

"Jaiden," Chase tapped her fingers on the table, "you're working."

"I'm taking a fifteen," she stared at Sammy and curled her lips into a bigger smile, "maybe my lunch, who knows."

"Jai, what did I tell you about hitting on women in front of me." Chase scolded and the teen somewhat rolled her eyes while looking at me.

"Keep her here for a while," she whispered in my ear referring to Sammy.

"Jaiden." Chase scolded a second time.

"Okay okay!" The brunette teen got up and glared playfully at her mother. "Next time you decide to make out with Mom in front of me, think about the kinds of flirting I can do in front of you." And she was off.

Sammy raised an eyebrow and looked up at Chase. "She's your daughter?"

"I guess…if I claim her." Chase grinned and looked at me. "So, order?"

"We'll just share a plate of fries." Sammy offered and smiled at me. "Extra vinegar."

Ah, she still knew me.

"Wow, friendly place." Sammy chuckled and looked around again. "So this is the place that Spencer and Ashley raved about years ago?"

I nodded. "Yea, weird huh?"

"Slightly." She shrugged. "Who would've thought that Spencer would find her way back here after all these years."

"I know." I smiled and Sammy caught my gaze.

"How is Tracey?" She asked softly, genuinely wanting to know.

"She's good," I smiled, "she actually just flew out to Toronto. I never seem to have her by me long enough."

"I know the feeling." Sammy whispered and took another sip of her water. "But you two are good?"

"We're perfect." I tried not to smile as big as I was but I couldn't help it. "What about you? Anyone special in your life?"

"We actually just broke up," Sammy shrugged, "Teresa met some woman online and that was that. I'm pretty much single and rather loving it."

"Fries for the beautiful lady," Jaiden came out with a plate of fries and a bottle of vinegar, "and Alex."

I smirked. "Better watch it or you won't be getting any tips."

Jaiden's face fell and she pouted. For a seventeen year old she was definitely a catch and a half. It was no wonder her parents had a hard time keeping her tame. She used her good looks to her advantage.

"Be nice." Sammy scolded and looked at the brunette. "Here's a tip, ignore Alex. She gets cranky when she hasn't eaten."

Jaiden grinned and nodded. "I like you." She pointed to Sammy and walked away.

"Watch it." I raised an eyebrow and pointed outside. She followed my finger that pointed across the street at the tattoo shop. "Her girlfriend works over there and she's pretty tough looking."

Sammy's gaze never ventured off the brunette that emerged from the shop, decked in black with a grunge look to her, "well she's got the wardrobe down but can she seriously kick ass?"

I gasped. "Jaiden's seventeen!"

"And I'm not interested." Sammy laughed. "Man I've missed you Carlin."

Carlin.

She's never called me Carlin before.

Things definitely changed.

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