Holes
The people we meet leave holes in our lives when they go. With some people, the holes are small. They come and go before we ever really know them. But others leave giant holes.
Rey nurses these wounds sometimes. When she is alone she thinks about the parents she never had.
"They were nobody," Ren had told her. But they were not no one - their absence in her life left something raw and aching inside of her. A question about if things could have been different. Perhaps things would have been worse - but this is not what she thinks about in these rare moments of self-indulgence. Instead she feels the loneliness and the longing.
She thinks of Han Solo, and she wonders if he could have become a father to her. She thinks about her lost mentor. She thinks about what would happen if General Organa, or Fin or Poe were to go.
These moods never last long, because she begins to feel lucky that she is a part of their lives. She thinks there really aren't that many holes in the first place, and she feels full and satisfied and sure about her path.
Ren also has holes in his life, but the holes are very different. They offer nothing but pain. They are giant, screaming reminders that there is nothing but suffering and only hate to sustain it. When he thinks about his father he is filled with fire and self-loathing and shame. When he thinks about his mother he wonders if he will ever know contentment again.
Even Snoke left a hole. Without him Ren feels aimless - a loaded gun with no target. He feels fear because he knows now he is entirely alone.
But then he wasn't alone anymore. This connection with Rey was beginning to make her more than an obstacle to be overcome. To her he had spoken the only words he felt were his own in a very long time. What kind of hole would remain when she, too, was gone?
