Her hair was rose brushed gold. Natsu buried his nose into it and breathed deeply. She smelled like sweet cherry, she smelled like home. He tightened his hold around her neck, holding her close. He was tired, and cranky.
"I have to make dinner, sweet boy," she whispered into his ear. "Let your brother take you now."
Hands closed on his ribs.
"Be careful with him."
"Yes, mother."
Natsu was taken away from her. A small sob built in his chest, upset by the loss of contact. Then he was being pulled in close again. He lifted his eyes and saw the boy who carried him. Without being told, he knew this was the one she called his brother. It was in the dark almond shaped eyes, in the straight nose. In the way he smelled so much like the other people Natsu loved.
"Lay him down, Zeref, I'll get him up again when it's time for dinner," mother said.
"Yes."
Zeref turned. Natsu, with his chin resting on his brother's shoulder, looked after his mother as he was carted away. He didn't feel scared while he held onto Zeref, he felt... comfortable.
Up a set of curling stairs, through a pale hallway, into a small room with light brick walls. A single bed came into view, one with dark sheets pulled up around one fluffed pillow adorned with a rag doll made from old clothes sewn together.
Zeref turned the blankets down and tucked Natsu in. When he was no more than a caterpillar in a cocoon, Zeref turned away again. Hot tears pressed into Natsu's eyes. He started crying, though he didn't understand why. Zeref turned back and sighed.
"I'm supposed to be studying, Natsu."
He kept crying.
It didn't take much convincing for Zeref to come back. He laid down beside Natsu and threw his arm over his chest. The weight was comfort. Natsu sniffled. Zeref tugged him in so his head was resting beneath his chin. "Sleep."
Satisfied, Natsu closed his eyes.
He was still caught up in a wave of comfort when he came awake. The ceiling above his head was different than the stars he'd been waking up to for the last year. The white stucco was stained, not just by water but by the outside light. The room was orange.
It took Natsu a full twenty seconds to realize that he wasn't being enveloped by another human, but Happy, who had come to sleep with him at some point in the night. The cat was sprawled out on his chest like he used to do when he was just small. Natsu laced his fingers behind his head and pulled himself up a few inches, using Happy to orient himself back in reality. What a strange dream. Zeref, his brother. The thought made him sick. it was only a dream. He unlinked his hands to rub his embarrassingly damp eyes and felt his palm pang, still sore from yesterday's abuse.
Blankets rushing met his ears. Gold caught his eye. Natsu focused on Lucy rising from the couch. She tugged his shirt back around her hips and shuffled to the washroom like a zombie. He watched her until he couldn't. The bathroom door closed.
Yes, or no?
He didn't understand why she was making everything so hard, it really was simple, wasn't it?
Right? The uncertainty made him twitchy, an easy state to fall into after last night. He scrubbed his face, rubbing away last night's fear, last night's dead, last night's dream. Happy shuffled and grumbled. Natsu wriggled out from beneath the cat, too warm, and sat up straight on the edge of the bed. The toilet flushed, the water came on. Turned off. Then the door opened again and Lucy came out. Her hair was a messy mane around her cheeks, her face scrubbed clean. Without looking his way, she went to the door and grabbed a folded newspaper that had been pushed through the envelope box. Natsu was watching her so closely he didn't miss when her face pinched with distraught. He imagined what she was reading. The report on the attacks last night? Then distraught eased into disappointment. A flash of eagerness warred on her smooth face.
"Morning." His voice was set low, mindful of Happy still snoring.
Startled, Lucy whirled on him. Her hand went to her throat as if she were physically holding in the scream surprise gave to her. She composed herself. Mostly. Her eyes dropped to his body, then flicked up to his face. She was finding somewhere else to look again just as fast. "It's evening, actually." She was equally quiet.
Natsu looked over his shoulder and saw that she was right, the fiery glow on the ceiling was left behind by the setting sun. He turned back to her and pointed to the paper. "Those murders in there?"
Lucy pulled her hair over her shoulder. "Yeah. And, apparently our thief struck again. He actually broke into the building last night and robbed people while the guards were busy out front with their investigation. I'm going to go there tonight. Maybe he's stupid enough to come back."
Natsu nearly fought with her, irrationally not wanting her anywhere near the place, the image of that girl sticking in his mind like bur to cloth. One guy is dead, the other arrested. Besides, you'll be with her. His heart's cramping eased. "When did you want to leave?"
Lucy's expression pinched. She looked miserable. "Soon."
"What is it?"
"Nothing."
She lied, he just didn't know why. "You don't want me to come with you?"
"It's not that." Not really, anyway.
"Then what?"
"It doesn't matter," she fibbed.
"Come on, Lucy, tell me," Natsu pushed.
Lucy looked toward the bed where Happy was curled.
"He's asleep," Natsu said, reading her expression correctly.
"Like he was last night?" Her cheeks got hot. She didn't understand why she brought it up. 'Did you like it?'
"...We'll be quieter," Natsu whispered. "Tell me."
Lucy nipped her lip, torn between truthfulness and pride. Truth won. "Natsu..." She stared really hard over his shoulder. It made it easier to be brave. "I'm good enough to be on your team."
His expression turned quizzical. "What?"
"I'm a good mage," she maintained, talking fast for fear of falling quiet. "My magic has gotten really strong. I wasn't always the best before, but while you were gone things changed." She didn't let herself imagine a world where Fairy Tail was together again and people would request Lucy Heartfilia instead of her famous team, but she wouldn't feel shame. She worked hard. So what if it was to outrun her own depreciative demons? So what if the fear of being a disappointment made her rise in the morning? So what if it was Aquarius' sacrifice that really hammered the nail into the proverbial coffin and made her realize that she needed to be better?
"I know that," Natsu said.
"I can keep up with you." She thought of the stadium melting in Crocus and felt some of the wind leave her sails. Stop thinking like that.
Natsu's memories came up to find him: sitting on the floor beside Lucy while she lay on the loveseat. 'Did you leave because you didn't think I was good enough to keep up?' "No one said that you couldn't."
She gave him a bland look that tore through him like a force of nature. "I'm not a dragon slayer."
"No," he agreed. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I'm not an amazing warrior like Erza. I can't call swords out of the air or wear armour like her."
"Of course not." He couldn't imagine Lucy swinging around swords. Terrifying.
"I'm not a devil slayer like Gray." She said his name weakly, wanting to keep him at a distance.
"Yeah, I know," Natsu said exasperatedly. "What about it?"
Lucy clenched and unclenched her fists at her sides, her stomach twirling. "After you left, I trained. I trained hard."
Natsu chewed his cheek. "I believe you." She had a frantic and fraught look in her eye that was wholly intimidating.
Lucy summoned all of her courage. "I—this job—it was mine, Natsu. I found it. I was going to do it on my own, I was going to get us money so that we could keep going. It's my first mage job since Fairy Tail disbanded. Maybe it's stupid, but I was excited to prove to myself that I could do it." To yourself, or to Natsu? She knew the truth even if she didn't want to admit it.
"Well, you don't have to prove anything to me, Lucy," Natsu said, finding and stabbing the heart of the matter in that effortless and unintentional way he had.
Lucy pressed her palms against her temples and breathed deeply. He's right. Of course he was. She knew he was. It didn't help her bruised ego, though.
"Hey." He stood from the squealing bed, coming to her. He grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands down. Lucy's eyes were brighter than they usually were. She fought not to look at him, lifting her eyes to the ceiling and blinking furiously.
"Let me go."
He ignored her. "If you want… I'll just sit back and watch while you take down this guy." Her wrists felt small and fragile in his hand, her skin cool like it had been last night, soaked by the rain.
Her bottom lip quivered. "It's stupid. Just forget it."
He wanted to agree but knew better. "No. I can tell you've been getting stronger. Show me your new moves, Luce."
She dropped her eyes from the ceiling and peered at him through wet lashes. "You're just trying to make me feel better."
"No."
She knew he lied. She wavered, torn between accepting his offer and calling the whole thing off. He's just entertaining you, but maybe give him a reason to believe you're better.
"Come on, Lucy." He squeezed her wrists tighter, willing her to say yes.
She huffed. "Fine. But you're not helping at all."
"Not even to sniff the guy out?" He knew what he'd smell at the old age home, blood. It made his stomach roil.
"No," Lucy said. "We're going to do it my way."
Natsu searched her eyes and saw iron there. This was important to her. "Alright."
"Do you promise?"
A promise was so binding. He did it anyway. "I promise." Lucy relaxed. Natsu released her wrists, chest tightening when she lifted her hands and swiped away tears. He sighed internally. Catching this guy will make her feel better. It always made him feel better. "I'm going to shower, then we can get out of here."
Lucy turned so she couldn't see him looking at her like that anymore, overflowing with pity. "Okay."
She waited for the bathroom door to close, then thoroughly dried her face of tears. Her skin was hot with embarrassment; she did her best not to dwell on it. Going to the pile of clothes Virgo left behind, she found a black fitted dress adorned with silver toggle fastenings. She looked towards Happy, saw he was still apparently asleep, and hurried to shuck off Natsu's shirt. She grabbed a bra from the bottom of the pile at random, a silver one with underwire and black designs swirling over the silk, and found a pair of matching underwear. She heard Natsu shuffling around in the bathroom and hurried to yank the dress over her head. It fit well, fitting and flaring where it should. She found a pair of boots next, tall black leather ones, and yanked them on her feet. She wasn't sliding in sandals tonight.
Finished, she flopped back onto the couch and tried not to think about the way her stomach ached and cramped with hunger.
Happy flew overhead, wings as white as cloud against the nighttime sky. Natsu walked side-by-side with Lucy, stealing furtive glances when he thought it was safe. He couldn't stop. Which was annoying, to say the least. He kept looking for tears, hoping for smiles. He kept memorizing her features. There was a time when she didn't bother him like this. He could lay next to her and enjoy the way she smelled without wanting to touch her. He could look at her without lewdly examining every bit she deigned to show off, and those she didn't. He could breathe in her scent and not feel like a mental case. He could try to kiss her and not have it haunt his every subconscious thought. It didn't bother him back when Asuka suggested it and Lucy turned him down.
Things were changing.
Lucy sighed. "What is it?"
"What?" Natsu startled.
"Why are you staring at me?"
"Because," Happy chirruped from on high. Lucy knew she was going to hate whatever it was he said next.
"Be quiet—"
Happy spoke over her. "He loves—"
"Shut up, Happy," Natsu said with more bite in his voice then ever before.
The cat clammed up, looking hurt, but Natsu wasn't paying attention to him, he was looking at Lucy again. Lucy pulled up short when he grabbed her shoulder and turned her to face him.
"What are you doing?" Lucy hissed. Her heart throbbed, a bird in a small cage when he looked at her like that, serious and intense. His hand came out and touched the earring dangling in her ear lobe.
"Lucy…"
She wanted to pull away and yet she felt paralyzed. "What?"
Natsu dropped her cross shaped earring, the vague and unsettled feeling in his stomach fleeing. "Nothing."
Lucy jarred away from him, coming unglued. Her arms went around her middle. Geeze. "We're almost there." The old age home was still a block away, but it was close enough. "Maybe you should stay here while I set up."
Natsu straightened his shoulders, not able to totally push away the ominous feeling in his chest. "What am I supposed to do while—" Lucy's scathing look made his words wither. You promised, he reminded himself. "I'll figure it out."
The blonde nodded, satisfied. "Good."
"You want to go up to one of the buildings, Natsu?" Happy asked. "That way we can watch?" Apparently he had a short memory for hurt feelings.
"Yeah," Natsu conceded. Up there he could make sure everything went off without a hitch.
"I hope this guy is dumb enough to strike again," Lucy muttered. She didn't wait to see which building Natsu and Happy chose. One foot in front of the other brought her closer to her destination. She breathed deeply of Magnolia's air. Aside from the smell of dust, she picked out flowers and faint baking. Water. The canal was nearby. Which meant her old apartment, too, one of the few buildings that remained standing.
In the distance lightning flashed. Lucy held in a groan. No more rain. It was a long way off, though. The street lamps pooled on the ground like droplets of false sunlight. She stayed in their glow where she could, thinking of the girls killed in Magnolia. Her keys got warm. Lucy knew what was coming and helped Loke step into the physical realm.
"You could have warned me before you disappeared last night."
The lion spirit sent a ghost of a smile her way. "Maybe."
Lucy looked at him covertly. His small smile was hindered a bit. "What are you thinking?"
"There's something strange in Magnolia."
"Like what?"
He pressed his lips together. "It feels… kind of like… I don't know. Something dark."
Blood rushed to Lucy's head. She pushed the fear down, not wanting to get psyched up and trigger happy before she even found this guy they were hunting. "Well, that's unhelpful."
"Sorry, Lucy. It's vague. Like an imprint. A memory or something. I can't pinpoint it." He looked over his shoulder and found Natsu crouching atop a huge apartment building that was, before Tartarus attacked, low income living. Now it was abandoned, half of it destroyed. He didn't say as much to Lucy, but he was glad the dragon slayer was nearby.
"Well," Lucy said, "The only thing I feel is annoyed. I want to catch this guy."
Loke pushed uneasiness aside. "What's your plan?"
She puffed out her cheeks. "I don't know. Debating on trying to lure him out, or going in and waiting." It was a hard decision, both routes had their ups and downs.
"Why don't we do both?" Loke suggested. "I'll go in; you stay out here?"
Lucy looked around the darkened city. To the north of the old age home the street lights had burned out. To the east was a small stretch of forest and beyond that, the canal. The west and south were streets and buildings. It was logical to assume that the thief would come from there, which meant she only had two directions to watch.
"Yeah," she said. The word came out strong and confident. It wasn't how she felt, but if she acted that way, then maybe it'd be true.
Loke looked at her again, saw the hardened resolve in her eye, and smiled, glad that some of her tenacity was back. "I'm glad we're doing this kind of stuff again." The words weren't meant to make her miserable, but there was no hiding the lament in his master's eye.
Lucy sighed. "I'm sorry, Loke." He was a battle spirit. He wanted to fight. The only person he'd been able to tangle with over the last year was her, and that was only for training.
"Chin up, Lucy. Let's kick some ass."
He's right. She tried on a smile. "Let's do it."
When she imagined catching the thief, there was a lot more action. But no. It was long, long hours of waiting. Nine o'clock bled into ten, bled into eleven, bled into twelve. The clock tower tolled. Lucy gave up on standing and slumped against the brick wall, hidden from view both by shadow and by a huge cedar shrub. Her feet hurt. She wondered after Loke. She wondered after Natsu. Knowing him, he was probably asleep on that building. Happy, too.
Reaching between her breasts she fingered the necklace her mother gave her when she was young, tracing the outline of the crimson heart. It was her favorite piece of jewellery, second only to her earrings.
"That's a beautiful necklace."
Lucy jumped, coming alert all at once. Her blood rushed with adrenaline, her eyes searched the night. She found her guest steps away. An old woman with short silver hair and deep lines on her face. Lucy felt a pang of urgency. The feeling lasted only a moment before her mind dulled and her senses became lethargic. So tired. The woman stepped towards her.
"Where did it come from?"
Lucy's tongue felt like lead. "Um…"
"Your necklace," the woman reminded. "Is it ruby?" She came closer again, reaching.
Lucy's fingers tightened on the charm. Her muscles just barely obeyed. Something's wrong. "Get away from me." Her voice was so sluggish.
She crouched instead, coming eye-to-eye with the blonde. "You shouldn't be awake any longer. Sleep."
Lucy blinked. And blinked. The second time, her eyes didn't want to open again. The back of her eyelids were dark. You've felt this way before.
When, though? She breathed in the night, deep, deep breaths that filled her up to her core. Magnolia was ghost quiet, the only sound the odd frog croaking from the lily pads on the canal's waters.
Tension eased in her muscles.
She'd never been more comfortable. Fingers played at her throat.
Lucy's mind quieted, making way for Jellal.
Jellal?
Not Jellal.
Mystogan. A tumbler fell into place.
This… it's sleep magic.
A dangerous thing. The realization brought her awake by several degrees. Just as the woman stepped away from her, necklace in hand, Lucy found her keys. Loke's came to her hand like it was straining towards her. Magic welled in her chest, a golden light to tear away sleeping sickness. The spirit's power draped over her like a shroud, celestial clothing taking the place of her dress. Her chest burned with Loke's insignia. Sleep dissipated, power filled her body.
Her eyes came open, her hands cloaked in bright, bright magic just as the night ignited.
It wasn't her magic that made it light up, though.
Firelight and sweat were the only things she knew. And anger.
The man slung over Natsu's shoulders was wiry muscle and tendon. He was starving, wanting for a solid meal. Natsu tried not to feel sympathy for the face-changing thief. That was easy enough, he was otherwise occupied, weathering Lucy's dark, dark mood.
"I had it."
She'd dismissed Loke and shucked off the strange garb she'd somehow donned in a fashion that reminded him of Erza's requip. Back in her black dress once more, she was as furious as he'd ever seen her.
"I didn't know, Lucy." He'd said it again and again. She kept dwelling, though, thusly not allowing him to move on. The guard house was in sight, coming out of the night like a lighthouse on an empty ocean,
Lucy pushed her hair back from her face, annoyed with the gathering wind. The thunderstorm was not so distant now, approaching quickly on wind gusts that were bringing the air dipping towards freezing temperatures. It's summer, Lucy thought with disdain. Why the hell was it so goddamn cold. "I wish you'd waited."
"I thought she—he—" Natsu corrected, looking at the man's slack face over his shoulder, "—was going to attack you. What was I supposed to do? Let it happen?"
Yes.
"He waited a long time, Lucy," Happy added. "I was really impressed."
Lucy took in a deep breath, disappointed with herself. It's okay. It's fine. He was just….
Natsu said, "I didn't want you to get hurt." He looked so sincere when he said it, how the fuck could she stay mad at that?
She brushed his arm, hoping the motion relayed what she thought. Thank you, sorry, and fuck you. "Let's just drop this guy off."
Defeated, Natsu fell into step beside her. The quiet between them was the most poisonous thing he'd ever felt. "Lucy, I'm—"
"Sorry. I got it. Just forget about it, Natsu, it was stupid anyway," Lucy said, summoning false cheer. When she wasn't so miffed she'd see what he did as sweet, but for now…
The walkway to the guards' barracks was as weed-choked as ever. Lucy was careful lifting her feet over the clumps of dandelion and chicory. At the door, she knocked.
"Here," Natsu said and dumped the man at the doorway.
"What are you doing?" Lucy asked.
"It was your job, take the credit," Natsu offered, which perhaps only stoked the fire burning in Lucy's belly. The dragon slayer missed her skin-melting look, grabbing Happy and ducking out of sight just as the door opened and the captain of the guard came into view.
"Yes?"
Lucy smoothed her features. "Hello, Sir. I believe I found your thief."
There was a stain on the ceiling. It kind of looked like a horse that had fallen to its knees. Lucy stared at it until her eyes were dry. Happy had gone to sleep long ago, curled into the motel's thin blankets. Natsu was in the washroom and had been for awhile. Lucy kept hearing the taps turn on and off, splashing. She imagined what he was thinking. She imagined what she was going to say.
Nothing.
Or sorry.
The door squealed when it opened. He left the lights on. Lucy thought to close her eyes and pretend to be asleep. Her body was slow in responding. Natsu poked his head out into the main room and saw her staring forlornly at the ceiling. He came to her, movements stiff, and sat down on the floor beside her like he had the first night in this room.
"Lucy." His voice was nearly drowned out by the pounding rain. It'd started thirty minutes ago and hadn't let up since. Thunder shook the ground outside.
Lucy turned her head to look at him. The bathroom light flickered, then steadied. Natsu's eyes had never looked so dark silhouetted against the light. Both hands found her wrist.
Natsu summoned the courage to say again, "I'm sorry." Apologizing sucked. Especially when it wasn't accepted.
Lucy lifted her hand, surprising herself when she laid it against his cheek. His skin was both warm and rough. Her thumb played over a small scar she found at the corner of his eye. It was new, from some adventure she didn't get to be apart of. She searched his eyes. "One day you're going to have to trust me to protect you."
"It's not that I don't, Lucy," Natsu said when he recovered from her strange words. "It's just that I saw an opening and thought… I couldn't just watch." He was closer now than before. Lucy didn't know if it was because he'd moved in that way, or because she'd unintentionally led him in. His half kiss came back to her, making her blood pound. "If we're a team, then we do stuff together."
His words percolated and pained her in a way that was surprising.
Let go. She pushed him back, then stood up, her blanket falling away.
"Where are you going?" Natsu asked.
"Just for a walk through the halls," Lucy said.
"You want me to come with you?" Natsu offered, though he knew she didn't.
"I need to clear my head, Natsu," Lucy said. "I won't be long." The skirt of her dress was a tornado of cloth around her fast moving legs.
The wall at her back held her up. Lightning flashed faster than before, streaming through the windows and igniting the floor in a light so pure it hurt her eyes. The power flicked then went out, plunging her into darkness. Instead of startling, Lucy only felt resignation.
'If we're a team, then we do stuff together.' She wanted to ask, "Is that what we are again?" She wanted to talk about convenience, necessity, want and habit, because it seemed like especially now, Natsu Dragneel never, ever needed anyone. Maybe he's chasing what Fairy Tail used to be. Maybe one day he'll realize that it really is gone and he'll give this up and you'll go back to Crocus and he'll go back to… to wherever it was he went.
She pushed the thoughts away, banning them from gaining a foothold. The way Natsu cared was as genuine as it was humbling. No one had ever been so selfless where she was involved. Not her father, not her servants. And mother? She barely remembered her, though she felt her absence every day.
The door down the hall opened and closed so quiet that Lucy almost didn't hear it. A pale figure came into view. She squinted. It was hard to see with the power out. The person came closer and closer.
Pale, smooth chest, bare. Dark hair. Smear of black stretching up his wrist. Black that she knew was colder than ice when touched. Her eyes tracked up without her permission and saw his defined jaw. There was a dark shadow around his chin; he needed to shave. He was just lifting a bottle of beer to his lips when he saw her. He choked, coming up short.
Lucy thought he'd run away.
He didn't.
"Lucy." His voice was quieter than a whisper, and slightly slurred, too.
She didn't know what to say. "Hey, Gray." It seemed an inadequate greeting after everything. Punching him would have been better. Screaming more satisfying. Crying more true to her heart.
So long passed in quiet that Lucy thought they'd just stare at each other. Then he said, "There's a balcony at the end of the hall."
She rose on quivering legs and followed.
