Never Forgotten Past
Last Time: Grace got sick and wanted Puck, only to find out he was out again with Sarah. She became upset, but was comforted by Kurt and Finn who kept her company. Puck returned to see Grace, Kurt, and Finn laughing and having fun. He felt bad that he wasn't the one taking care of his sick sister. Grace overheard Sarah and Puck talking about the doctor's appointment they went to. She realized that Sarah is pregnant. Grace talked to Puck about who assured her she was going to be ok, nothing would happen to her. Sarah saw Puck put Grace to bed and knew he was going to be a great dad someday. And that's what you missed on Never Forgotten Past.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any songs that I may put in here.
Looking Forward
Sarah's Point of View
Puck's hand went up and down my thigh while we waited for the bell to ring signaling the end of Spanish.
I sighed, "Stop," I half giggled/half scolded, "Something bad is going to happen."
Puck laughed and kissed my temple, "You are so cute."
I rolled my eyes and gently pushed his chest, "Shut up."
Puck laughed again and softly pinched my side, "We have Glee today, right?"
I nodded, "Yup."
"Maybe I'll leave early to go pick up Grace from school. I don't like her being in school when she has a cold," Puck muttered, more to himself than to me.
I ran a hand down his arm, "Stop beating yourself up over not being there for her the other day, she understands."
Puck had told me in the car the other day on the way to school that Grace knew what was happening. He said she was scared that Mom and Burt were going to hate her. I talked to her about the whole thing and promised her she will always be welcome here, no matter what mistakes Puck and I have made.
"I know, but I still feel like crap for it," Puck mumbled.
"It's alright," I whispered and squeezed his shoulder.
Puck opened his mouth to answer, but Mr. Martinez came up to us, "Puck, I need to talk to you."
Puck glanced between me and our teacher, "Ok, shoot."
Mr. Martinez chuckled, "Alright, we can talk here I guess. Anyways, you're the only senior in this class and I just wanted to talk about some final stuff before you graduate."
"He doesn't graduate for another month," I interrupted.
Mr. Martinez nodded, "Yes, but I just wanted to go over what he'll need to know for the final that he's taking in a few weeks."
"I have to take a final?" Puck asked.
The bell rang and everyone else started leaving. I stood up, "I'm gonna get going. I'll see you in lunch."
Puck nodded and turned back to our teacher, "Are you sure I have to take a final?"
I held back a laugh and left the room. I went to my locker which I promptly opened to grab my math books. I smiled lightly at the pictures on the door. I was really lucky to have to an amazing boyfriend and a wonderful family.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
I laughed with Quinn and Joe while Puck played with my fingers on the other side of us. We were in the choir room waiting for glee to start, apparently Mr. Schue had a new assignment for us.
Mr. Schue walked in and started talking about saying goodbye to Whitney Houston and to the seniors. I had pretty much tuned out until the second part. I glanced at Puck who had dropped my hand and was paying a lot of attention to our choir director. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Rachel, Finn, and Kurt all nodding along. Quinn and Santana. Mike and Mercedes. They were all seniors. They were leaving. They weren't going to be at McKinley anymore. I felt like I was going to hyperventilate. It never really did fully sink in how alone I was going to be next year until now.
I quickly stood from my chair, "I have to go."
Mr. Schue stopped talking and stared at me. I could feel everyone else's eyes on me as well.
Puck reached up and grabbed my hand, "Are you ok?" he asked softly.
"I have to go," I repeated and tugged away.
I left the room in a rush. I have no idea where I'm going. The tears in my eyes were starting to burn. I hastily wiped them and blinked. I had made it to Ms. Pillsbury's office. She was sitting at her desk and I could tell she was trying not to pay too much attention to me. I quickly pushed open the door and sat in one of the chairs.
"Hi Sarah," Ms. Pillsbury greeted.
"Hi," I choked out as a tear leaked from my eye.
Ms. Pillsbury passed me some tissues, "I was wondering when you would come in."
A short laugh escaped my lips, "I probably would have come eventually, but Mr. Schue just sped the process right up."
Ms. Pillsbury smiled, "What was he talking about?"
"Letting go or something like that," I answered and wiped my eyes again.
She nodded, "How are you doing in that department?"
A fresh round of tears came out, "Terrible. It never occurred to me until now that Puck was a senior. That my brother was graduating. That my step-brother and the girl I consider a sister are going to New York."
"Where are Puck and Finn going?" Ms. Pillsbury asked.
"Finn said something about going to New York and an actor school, but I know that's not going to happen. Finn can't be an actor, it's just not him. Puck...," I drifted off and thought about it, he never really did say what he was going to do, well there was L.A. but that was one time and he hadn't said it again, "I'm not really sure."
"Do you think he'll stay here?"
I shrugged, "Over the summer? I don't know. When school starts, he will definitely be right here with me."
"Did he tell you that?"
I shook my head, "Not in exact words, I just know. He knows too. He needs to be here with us."
"Who's us?"
My breath hitched in my throat. I searched my brain to come up with an answer to that, "Me and Grace, his sister. Probably Beth, too."
Ms. Pillsbury nodded, but I could tell that she noticed I took a little too long to answer that question, "Is everything ok now? With the living arrangements and everything?"
I laughed lightly, "Him and Grace moved in months ago. Mom and Burt are trying their hardest to legally adopt Grace. We even moved houses with them, as in Grace has her own room and Puck lives upstairs with Finn and Kurt."
Ms. Pillsbury smiled, "I just wanted to make sure. So he'll still live with you guys if he leaves and then comes back?"
I nodded and smiled, "It's fun."
"You two are being safe, right?"
I swallowed and blinked. There really was no reason to be safe now. What could happen, did happen and we accepted that, sort of. "Of course," I lied with a smile.
"What will you miss the most?" Ms. Pillsbury asked, changing the subject back to the earlier one.
"Seeing them everyday in school, especially Puck. He always makes sure I'm happy and safe and stuff," I said softly.
There was a knock on the door, so Ms. Pillsbury and I turned to see Rachel and Santana standing there.
Ms. Pillsbury motioned for them to come in, "Hi girls," she greeted, "What are you two doing here?"
"Puck and Finn sent us," Santana answered with a glance at me.
I looked down at the ground and blushed, of course they did.
"We can take it from here, Ms. Pillsbury," Rachel smiled.
"Is that ok Sarah?" the guidance counselor asked.
I nodded and stood, "Thank you."
"Anytime," Ms. Pillsbury smiled.
I followed Rachel and Santana out to the football field. We sat on the bleachers for a minute before Santana broke the silence.
"What was with the walk out?" she asked.
I shrugged, "I guess it finally occurred to me that you guys are all seniors."
Rachel pulled me in for a hug, "It's ok, everyone gets the feeling."
"I'm going to miss everyone so much and am going to be alone," I cried.
Santana moved closer, "We'll all still keep in touch and Finn's your brother."
"Noah loves you," Rachel added.
"It won't be the same," I whimpered, "Who's going to help me clean up after getting slushied?"
Rachel and Santana laughed, "I'm sure Tina or Blaine will help you," Santana said.
"What about at lunch? Puck's not going to be there," I argued.
"You could sit with the other glee members," Rachel suggested.
"You're not going to be left alone, kid, I promise," Santana smiled.
I hugged them close, "Thanks."
"We should do a song," Rachel announced.
Santana and I exchanged a look and laughed.
"Not right now," Rachel laughed, "I mean for the assignment."
The three of us thought for a moment on a Whitney Houston song we could sing.
"So Emotional," I finally said with a smile.
Santana and Rachel smiled, "We have to start practicing," Rachel nodded.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Santana and Rachel hugged each side of me once the song finished. They ran over to Brittany and Finn and hugged them.
Puck stood up and wrapped his arms around me, "That was amazing," he whispered in my ear.
I giggled, "Thank you."
I felt Puck's hand rub a soft circle on my stomach before backing away. He winked and pulled me over to our seats.
Blaine smiled at me and waved, "Nice job," he mouthed.
"Thanks," I mouthed back.
Mr. Schue finished clapping and stood in front of the room, "Alright! That was great! Anyone else want to sing?"
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
"So I was thinking that we start planning the graduation party," Mom announced during dinner that night.
I stared down at my burger and tried to fight through the lump in my throat to eat it. I could feel Puck's eyes boring into the top of my head from where he was sitting across from me.
"We're having it here, right?" Kurt asked.
"Yes," Burt answered.
"Sarah, can you pass the salt please?" Grace asked.
I cleared my throat and looked up, "Sure," I passed it to her.
"Thank you," Grace carefully shook the salt over her french fries.
"Are the three of us having the same party?" Finn asked through his food.
Mom passed Finn a napkin, "Yes, it makes no sense to have three different parties."
"You don't have to have one for me," Puck said quietly.
Everyone turned towards him.
"You're part of this family, so of course you'll be part of the party," Burt told him.
"Noah, graduating from high school is a big deal, you deserve a party," Mom added.
"I know, it's just...Finn and Kurt actually live here and I don't...well, I do, but-" Puck struggled to put a sentence together.
"Why don't you want to have a party?" Kurt asked. I could see a small bit of shock covering his face.
Puck shrugged, "I don't need one."
"Please Noah, I really want a party," Grace pleaded.
Puck chuckled, "Grace, I'm sure you can be part of Finn and Kurt's party."
"And your's," Mom said, "We're throwing you all a party and that's final."
Puck stared down at his half eaten burger and stayed quiet. I watched him and tried to figure out why he wouldn't want a graduation party. I bit into my burger before dropping it on my plate. I started gagging and reached for my milk to rinse the taste of pickle from my mouth. The table turned to look towards me instead of Puck.
Finn clapped me on my back, "You ok?"
I shook my head and pushed away from the table. I ran down the hall towards the bathroom and quickly shut the door. I threw up the bit of burger that I did manage to eat before the door was thrown open.
"Sarah, what happened?" Puck came over and kneeled next to me. His cool fingers brushed against my neck as he grabbed my hair.
"I guess I can't have pickles anymore," I muttered and stood up.
Puck's hands held tightly onto my waist while I walked to the sink, "Didn't you say they smelt weird anyways before you put them on your burger?"
I nodded and reached for my toothbrush, "Should have listened to my gut."
Puck waited for me to finish brushing my teeth before he pulled me against his chest in a hug, "So our baby doesn't like Italian dressing and pickles?"
I grimaced, but laughed, "Nope."
"Great, we're never going to have sandwiches," Puck said angrily with a hint of sarcasm.
I laughed harder and backed away, "I don't know how to answer that, besides the fact that the baby could still like the foods later."
Puck shrugged with a smile, "Come on, it's our turn to clear the table and your family's gonna start wondering what happened."
I took his hand and followed him to the kitchen. We stopped at the sight. Mom and Burt were standing on one side of the table, Mom with her hands on her hips and Burt with his arms crossed, while Grace sat at the other side with a red face.
"What's going on?" Puck asked slowly.
I silently prayed that Grace didn't say anything about me being pregnant.
"When you two left the room, Grace muttered something that sounded strangely like 'The baby must not like burgers,'" Mom said while still staring at Grace.
I leaned into Puck's side and tried to stifle my groan.
"Any idea what that means?" Burt asked us.
Puck and I shook our heads.
"Grace?" Mom prompted.
"I'm sorry," Grace mumbled, "I didn't mean anything."
"Really?" Mom asked, "Then why'd you say it?"
Grace shrugged.
"Is Sarah pregnant?" Mom added in.
Puck's hand tightened around my waist. I felt like I was going to faint. We waited for Grace to answer.
"No," she lied, "Well...at least not that I know of."
"Grace," Mom stared at her.
"I don't think she's pregnant!" Grace yelled.
I winced and leaned farther into Puck's side. If we weren't going to get in trouble, Grace sure was.
"Grace, calm down," Mom said slowly.
"You keep asking me if Sarah's pregnant! Stop!" Grace huffed.
"How about you take a minute to yourself in your room?" Burt suggested.
"Fine! But just so you know, maybe next time you should be asking Sarah if she's pregnant and not me!" Grace stood from her chair, which slammed backwards, and marched off to her room. We could hear her door slam and the walls shake from the pressure.
"I'm sorry," Puck said, "I'll pay for whatever damage she does."
"No, it's fine, she's only ten," Burt told him and sat down, "The four of us need to have an adult conversation now, though."
Mom waited for me and Puck to sit down before doing so herself, "Why would Grace think that 'the baby doesn't like burgers?'"
I shrugged, "Like Burt said, she's ten."
"She does have a big imagination," Puck added.
"Sarah, tell the truth," Mom scolded.
"Grace is ten, that is the truth," I stated.
Mom raised her eyebrows, "You know what I mean. Are you pregnant?"
"No," I answered.
"Puck?" Burt asked.
Puck squeezed my knee, "Sarah is not pregnant," he lied.
Mom and Burt stared at us. We were quiet for a good two minutes. Finally, Mom stood and walked over to the fridge, pulling out her glass of milk left over from dinner. She took a sip and sighed, "I need to know right now what you two do at night."
I blushed and Puck's hold on my knee slipped, "What?" I asked.
"That's a good point, we should know whether or not you actually could get pregnant," Burt said.
"Nothing happens, I swear," Puck stated.
I nodded along, "Honestly, the most that happens is a kiss goodnight, that's all."
Mom and Burt exchanged a glance, "What about at the old house?" Mom asked.
"And on vacation because we're not stupid and know you all changed rooms in Kalahari," Burt added.
"Nothing happened or has happened. Mom, you have to believe me," I pleaded.
"I want to, sweetie, and I do, it's just I can never be too sure," Mom said softly.
"Because of me," Puck looked down at the table.
"No, no, honey, not at all," Mom rushed over and pulled Puck against her.
"No, I get it," Puck pulled away and looked between Mom and Burt, "I had a baby when I was Sarah's age; the whole fact that I'm older than Sarah is probably weird. I know this is kinda strange, but if Beth was sleeping in the same bed as some guy that already had a kid and was two and a half years older than her, I would probably freak out about it too."
Mom and Burt stared at Puck. "You two can finish the dishes then go talk to Grace because she might not be very happy with you right now," Mom finally said.
They left the room and Puck and I waited until we could hear their door close before moving. Puck wrapped his arms around me and let out a sigh of relief. I gave a shaky laugh in his chest.
"Oh my God," I groaned.
Puck stood with me still connected to him, "Come on, before they come back."
I nodded and we started rinsing off the dishes. After a while, Puck flicked some bubbles at me with a laugh.
"Hey," I smiled and threw some back.
Puck laughed and dumped some on my head, "There you go."
My jaw dropped and I pushed Puck back against the counter, "I can't believe you just did that."
Puck smirked and shrugged, "You looked like you needed it."
I reached my hands into the sink and pulled out some more bubbles. Slowly, I stood on my tip-toes and dropped the soap on Puck's hair, "You need some too, then."
Puck smiled and kissed me, problem was I didn't see him reach his hands behind me into the sink. Next thing I knew, a bowl of water and soap was dumped on my head.
That set off a chain of events in us. Water was being poured on each other. The sink sprayer was squirted more than once. The bottle of dish soap was suddenly only half full.
"What is going on in here?"
Puck stopped squirting the soap in my hair and I straightened up from the hold Puck had on me to see Kurt standing in front of us.
"Nothing," Puck answered.
I ran a hand over Puck's hair, "We're doing nothing wrong."
Kurt rolled his eyes, "You two are so weird."
"You're just jealous that you're not having this much fun," Puck smirked.
Kurt cracked a smile, "Sure, just go get in the shower and rinse off."
We nodded and ran off to the bathroom, bubbles and water flying on the way. I stopped inside the door and closed it in Puck's face, "See you in a few minutes."
I heard Puck laugh before I turned on the shower. I quickly rinsed off the soap and got out of the shower. I stared at my wet clothes on the floor, I couldn't put those back on, so I wrapped a towel around myself and went into my room. In my closet, I found a pair of Puck's sweatpants and one of his sweatshirts that would do for now. I started brushing out the knots in my hair when there was a knock on my door.
"Come in!" I yelled.
Puck walked in, his own hair newly wet and his t-shirt sticking to his chest, with Grace over his shoulder. Grace was kicking her legs against his chest and pounding her fists on his back.
"Let me down Noah!" she screamed.
"Shut up," Puck said and set her up right, "We need to talk."
"You got me in trouble!" Grace yelled, she turned towards me, "Both of you! I can't just-"
Puck put a firm hand over her mouth and lifted her up again. I followed them into my closet and shut the door as Puck set Grace down.
"Ow," Puck muttered and brought his hand away, "You bit me!"
"Grace," I scolded and walked towards Puck to see small beads of blood forming on the edge of his palm, "Apologize."
"Only when you and Noah apologize for getting me in trouble!" Grace sat on the ground with a huff.
"We're sorry," Puck told her and pulled me down on the ground across from his sister, "But you shouldn't have even said the slightest bit of a thing."
"Grace," I stopped her when she opened her mouth, "I know that this is a big thing that you have to keep secret, but please, please, please do. I don't want my mom or Burt to know yet. Noah and I need to tell them ourselves when we're ready. We need to prove to them that we're not going to mess up and that we'll be good parents."
Grace unfolded her arms and softened, "I didn't mean to say anything, it just slipped."
"I know," I smiled and scooted closer to her, "You just have to be careful."
Grace nodded, "I'm really sorry Sarah. I almost ruined the whole thing," she launched herself at me and started sobbing in my shoulder.
I was shocked, but slowly started rubbing my hand up and down her back and hair, "It's alright."
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Grace cried harder.
I started rocking her back and forth, "Shh, it's ok, I know you didn't say it on purpose."
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Puck watching with wide eyes, "Oh my God," he whispered.
I turned towards him and narrowed my eyes. He might love Grace, but he's not helping right now.
As if he knew what I was thinking, Puck moved closer and carefully put a hand on Grace's back, "Gracie?"
She looked up and sniffled, "What?"
"I'm sorry," he said softly, "Can you forgive me?"
I smiled and watched Grace think about it, "Sure," she finally said and hugged him.
"Alright, does anyone want ice-cream now?" I asked.
"Yes!" Grace smiled and got up to run out of the closet towards the kitchen.
Puck moved to stand up, but I pulled him back down, "No you don't."
"What?" Puck asked.
"Why don't you want a graduation party?"
Puck groaned and ran a hand over his face, "Enough with the party! Seriously! I just don't want one."
"As soon as you hit 13, you went to every single party that you were invited to. So don't lie to me and say that you don't want a party dedicated to you," I told him and turned his face to look at me.
"Sarah, I don't want a party," Puck said softly.
I shook my head, "Don't lie to me Noah. Why don't you want a party? Did you do something that is jeopardizing your high school career where you won't get a party anyways?"
Puck stared at me, "Come here," he stood up and grabbed my hand, dragging me upstairs towards his desk.
"What are you doing?" I asked quietly as Puck got on the ground under his bed and pulled out a shoebox.
"Showing you why I don't want a party being planned for me," Puck muttered and shuffled through the papers in the box, "Here," he passed me a handful of papers.
I gave him a look before glancing down at the papers. I felt my mouth go slack when I realized they were old tests and quizzes, each with a grade on the top. F. D-. F. D+. D. C-. C. D+. B-. C+. B+. The grades seemed to get better the closer they got to the bottom of the pile. It was as if he had just recently given up in geography.
"Noah," I whispered.
"I'm sorry, but I don't know if I'm going to graduate," Puck whispered back.
A tear dripped down my face onto the tests, "You...you have to graduate. What happened?"
Puck shrugged, "I don't know. I can't remember the facts and with the baby..."
"You got distracted even more," I finished quietly.
Puck nodded and I looked back down at the quizzes. The date on the first D+ was the day after we found out I was pregnant.
"I can't believe this," I cried softly, "I ruined your life!"
"No, Sarah, you didn't," Puck grabbed the papers from my hand and threw them on his bed before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against his chest, "You did not ruin my life."
"I did!" I sobbed into his shoulder, "I got pregnant which distracted you and now you can't graduate! This is all my fault!"
"It is not your fault!" Puck held me at arm's length and brushed my hair from my face, "It's mine, ok, all mine. I got you pregnant, I failed the tests, I threw my future out the window, it's all on my shoulders."
I stared at him and thought my words over carefully, "Please don't believe that your future is over because it's not, it's just starting. We're having a baby. We will always be together. Someday we'll have that perfect life that we dream of. It's not going to be easy, but I swear to God that it's going to be great. So please, please, please don't give up on yourself."
Puck put a hand on my head and curled it against my hair, "I promise I'll make this work for us."
I nodded and curled back in his arms. I carefully wiped my eyes and listened to his heart beat against my ear.
There was a pounding on the stairs and the two of us looked up to see Grace running in, "Finn and I ate the last of the ice-cream last night, so Ms. Carole gave me popsicles instead."
I gave her a small smile and slid off of Puck, "Thanks Grace. Did you grab an orange one?"
Grace smiled and passed one to me, "Of course, I know they're your favorite."
"What about me? What'd you get me?" Puck asked.
Grace passed him a popsicle, "Purple."
"I don't want purple," Puck said, he winked at me quickly to show he was kidding.
Grace's smile fell, "But...but I thought grape's your favorite flavor popsicle."
Puck shook his head, "Nope, it's cherry."
Grace stared down at her hands where there was one last popsicle, "I wanted cherry."
"Please," Puck said softly and looked up at his sister with wide eyes.
"Fine," Grace whispered and passed over her popsicle, "I guess I can just have grape."
"Thank you," Puck smiled and took the cherry, he unwrapped it and slowly brought it towards his mouth.
"Puck," I scolded with a smile and pushed him, "Stop it."
Grace looked up, "What? Why?"
"Grace, your brother's being a jerk and trying to make you cry," I told her.
Grace's mouth dropped and she hit Puck, "You are so mean!"
Puck chuckled and passed back the popsicle while grabbing the other, "Here you go."
"You should say sorry," Grace smiled and sat between me and Puck.
"I'm sorry," Puck laughed and knocked his shoulder against Grace.
"You have to be sorry for a lot of things today," Grace observed.
Puck smirked at me over Grace's head, "Looks like I'm going back to my old ways."
"You better not," I whispered and reached around Grace to squeeze his shoulder.
"Please don't crash the car again," Grace looked up at her brother.
"Trust me, I will not crash the car again," Puck said with a tap of his popsicle to Grace's nose.
Grace giggled and wiped the tip of her nose, "Ok," she leaned into his arm and smiled.
I smiled as I watched the two of them interact. Finn and I were never really that close, but we turned out alright in the end. Then again, we also had two parents for the better part of our life, they only had one for most of theirs. Plus their mom hurt them, they were all they had. I put my hand over my still flat stomach and continued eating my orange popsicle, this baby wasn't going to have an easy life, but they were going to be loved so much and no one would be able to change that.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
A/N: This was a lot in one chapter, like the one of a little while ago, hope you don't mind. Warning now, I'm pretty sure most of the rest of the chapters will be in Sarah's point of view. It's not a bad thing, but it's just because that's how imagined the chapters and came up with the ideas. Sorry for the later update, with Memorial Day weekend and my birthday, plus school's ending so there's a lot of stuff going on there, that I just got caught up in all of it and didn't have any time to write. I hope you don't mind. Did you like Santana in it? I've sort of been on a little Santana/Puck kick the past few weeks and couldn't help but put her in as well. PLEASE REVIEW with any questions, comments, concerns, or suggestions! I'm welcome to all!
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Ace5492 - Thank you!
Mads - Thanks! It really was a great birthday! I was actually thinking about keeping the way it ended because I got a few ideas from it, but don't worry, there will still be happy Finchel in the next few chapters that they're in.
raem9898 - Thank you so much! I was so scared when I started that no one would like it, but now I'm so happy that people like you do and support it so much! So thank you! I know, I might be putting it on a little too thick with their brother/sister stuff, but it just makes me so happy. This chapter might have evened it out though with their small fight.
stephpb1298 - There wasn't that much Rachel here, but trust me, there's another whole chapter with just the Rachel/Sarah friendship. It might be in the next, but it might be in the one after instead, either one, you can count on a Rachel chapter coming up!
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Sneak Peak: I watched his sleeping body for a second with tears in my eyes. It was like he had completely given up on life and was just going to let its challenges get the better of him.
I've been waiting to do Choke since it first aired. Don't worry, it's not going to be too sad or anything and might have to be broken up into two chapters.
