It seemed to Erza that there was an equation to her life. For every moment of happiness she was granted, she was dealt a lifetime of misery. Or at least, that's how she felt, sitting upright in her bedroll with Wendy's scared cry ringing in her ear. She found her in time only to watch the dragon slayer cascade over the ledge, thrown by a woman that seemed like more shadow and bone than flesh and blood. Except... She did bleed, from a thick spike jammed through her chest. She warbled, teetering on the valley ledge. The spike disappeared and the woman took to falling, following Wendy, both as silent as a ghost.
Another yell jarred Erza from stillness, this one high-pitched, hollered in denial. Carla. Carla who was scrabbling from the rock knoll she'd chosen for rest. Carla who would never ever get there in time. Carla, who was leaping over the ledge after Wendy anyway.
"No!" Erza's feet were beneath her, running clumsily, for she too was possessed by the need to do something, anything, even if it was futile. Her toe caught on a rock. The fall to the ground was brutal. Her tooth jammed through her lip and her finger broke beneath her weight. She barely felt it. Up again, blood streaming down her face, finger crooked, she ran hard towards the ledge. What she hoped to accomplish, she didn't know, but something. Steps from her goal, something solid wrapped around her body and pulled her up startlingly short. The breath burst from her lungs. Off balance, she hit the ground again, dazed.
"Erza," hashed a familiar voice, one that was raw with exertion. Erza barely looked at Gajeel, too numb to be shocked by his presence.
Above, Carla rose into the air, a blob of white in the dark mid-summer sky. She was alone.
With a picnic table beneath his ass, his booted feet up on the scarred bench, Laxus jammed a cigarette into his mouth and sucked in a huge puff, then breathed deeply. The smoke coiled in his chest, thick and acrid. He used to cough, but this was a habit he'd picked up after his grandfather went missing the year before, and he'd had plenty of time to punish his body into believing it felt good. He used to do it as an excuse to get out and clear his head—typically no one wanted to be around him when he was smoking, smelled too bad, he guessed—but now he did it because it felt good. Well, he still enjoyed the quiet, too, to be completely honest.
He blew out the smoke and tipped his beer into his mouth. It was strong and dark. Usually he liked it like that, but tonight it stuck to his palate in a way that made him want to shiver.
Behind him, the back door to the pub they'd stopped at for dinner opened. Sound and light bled into the night. It diffused just as quickly as soon as the door slammed shut. Laxus checked over his shoulder, catching sight of a full-figured woman sashaying his way, backlit by the dingy lamp above the pub's exit. The wind blew, grabbing her dress and throwing it around her legs. Her scent drifted to him, rose water. Interest piqued, he leaned back to face her and nodded his head in greeting while he scoured his mind for a good pickup line, something not too cheesy, but something that would get his intent across.
"Hey." Hey? Lame, he scolded himself and thought hard.
For the weak greeting, he so faintly saw her cheeks pull up in a smile. She waved, still approaching. Her hair was ablaze by the light behind her, some indistinguishable pale colour. He couldn't see clearly, too night-blind, but she was clear enough that he knew she was heavy on the asset side of things, nicely shaped. They could have a lot of fun, he decided.
"Got someone waiting for you inside?" He took another drag, imagining he looked cool as fuck.
"Well, Lisanna and Elfman," came Mira's innocent voice.
Laxus choked on his smoke as it all became clear. "Mira, what the fuck?"
Her steps faltered. "Oh, no, you did not just try to hit on me, Laxus."
He fumbled, struggling to recover. "No."
"You little liar." She chirruped happily. "Ha. That's sweet. I knew you missed me."
"I knew it was you," he lied. "I was just messing with you."
"Yeah," she snorted. "Right."
Laxus rolled his eyes, determining that there was only one way to put the matter to rest. He pretended like it wasn't happening. "What's going on?"
"Oh, other than your undying love for me?"
"Seriously, Mira."
"I can't help it, my world's changed." She fake-swooned. "Laxus Dreyar, not actually just a manslut, but someone with a heart. Or," she sobered, looking thoughtful. "Were you just trying to get under my skirt? What a trick. I almost fell for it, and I've seen a lot. Good work."
Laxus glowered. "Gee, the demon thing really is a fucking switch for you, huh? Ever had anyone tell you you're crazy as shit?"
Her smile was devilish. "Oh, only a few. They were all begging for a chance to apologize after, though."
Laxus harrumphed and went back to smoking.
"That will kill you, you know?" Mira asked. She closed the rest of the distance between them and clambered up on the bench beside him. She still smelled nice. He tried to think of all the things he hated about her. That cheerful little smile, for one, the one that hid her mayhem and darkness.
"So will talking."
"You're grouchy," Mira commented.
Laxus scrubbed his face one-handed then gave her a sideways look. "You out here for a reason?"
"Just wondering where you slunk off to," she said airily.
"Well, here I am, you can go back in now." A look at that mulish expression and he knew that was a losing battle.
"Laxus," Mira said without the smile. "I wanted to talk to you about this rumor that Master Makarov is back."
"What about it?"
She gathered up a roll of her dress and slid the smooth fabric through her fingers. "It could be just that—a rumor. Lisanna was excited earlier, that's all, and I think she was really hopeful—"
"Yeah," he said gruffly. "Or it could be true."
She looked at him sadly. "I want you to have hope, but I also don't want you to be crushed if it's not true."
"I'm not going to be crushed."
"It's bothering you, I can see it," Mira said. "You've been worried about him. Your methods of dealing with it are maybe unhealthy—I hope you used condoms with those girls—"
He gave her the darkest look she'd ever seen. Mira hurried on. "I'm just saying—"
"Look, I get it, he's been missing for a year, he's old as fuck, no one's seen him or heard from him. Yeah, I know the chances of him just suddenly deciding to reunite the guild are low. I know he might be dead and I know someone might just be yanking our chain to get us here. I get it, Mira."
She clammed up.
Laxus took another drag off his cigarette. "Or," he blew the smoke out of his nose. "He might be fine."
"Yeah, Laxus—"
He bowled over her. "I thought you with your fucking go-lucky Miss Brightside attitude would appreciate the sentiment. You're supposed to be the balloon, Mira, not the deadweight dragging me down. Stop telling me it's probably a lie, because I already know, I've been saying the same shit to myself for months. I need someone that's going to feed me bullshit with a real pretty smile, that way I'm inclined to believe it."
She pressed her lips together, obviously on the verge of saying something cutting. The urge passed in a weak expel of breath. Her arms were around Laxus' throat before he could fathom what was happening. He tensed, waiting for pain. When none came he realized she was just trying to hug him.
"Mira—"
She squeezed tighter. "I'm sorry, Laxus. I'm sure he'll be fine."
He patted her back awkwardly, aware of all of her touching him. "Okay, okay. Gee. Let go."
She came away, eyes damp. "I miss him, too."
Laxus turned his eyes out into the night, neither confirming nor denying. He smoked his cigarette to the filter.
Morning light streamed through dingy drapes, yet it wasn't the warmth of the sun that led Juvia out of sleep, but the unpleasant sound of the bathroom door slamming closed, followed by Gray's painful retch. She winced each time he gagged, first clasping her hands over her ears to block out the sound. When that failed, she got out of bed, fixed her nighty, and went to the bathroom door. Tapping didn't win her an invitation to enter. She imagined Gray was too sick to respond, anyway. She took the door in hand and invited herself in.
Naked save for his shorts, Gray sat on the stained and scratched tile floor, legs folded while he propped his elbows on the toilet bowl. He was greener than Juvia's nail polish, and sweat-slicked.
"Gray-sama—"
He groaned and flushed the toilet. "Get out, Juvia."
"You're sick."
He gave her a look that could have peeled paint. "Just give me a few."
Juvia opened her mouth to add something else. Gray turned from her and threw up another bout of whisky. She sighed and left the way she came, closing the bathroom door behind herself.
Natsu came awake with a huge gulp of air, jarred roughly from his dream. All he smelled was perfume, cheap strawberry shampoo and alcohol. It was pungent, everywhere. Lucy. He breathed deeply, eager to get the smell of Zeref out of his nose. Mint plant and Valentina's cherries. He huffed deeper and found he was right, Lucy's scent helped to block out his dream. Still, it was easy to remember the exact feeling of the sickness that had overtaken him, his curdling stomach, the sweat. And the comfort of Zeref lifting him from the ground and carting him all the way home.
Don't.
He breathed out and encouraged his eyes to open. Looking at the real world was therapeutic. Seeing where he was helped remind him of who he was. Not Natsu Dragneel, nighttime brother of Zeref, but Natsu Dragneel, Fairy Tail's fire dragon slayer. Lucy was still squished beneath him, her breast in his hand, filling it and then some. She'd fallen asleep hard enough that she hadn't moved all night. She looked peaceful, lips parted in a soft sigh, eyes lightly bruised.
As if she felt him studying her, her breathing changed, her eyes fluttered, black lashes on her pale cheek. Gold-shot toffee, that's what her eyes always reminded him of. Except today, those gold-shot eyes were also blood-shot. Approximately five seconds passed before she realized that she was hungover, grossly so. Then she groaned and pressed one hand to her eyes, the other trapped beneath his body.
"Hey," Natsu greeted.
"Mm..." she grunted. "Gods. I feel like shit."
"Maybe you shouldn't drink so much then," Happy's nagging voice came from the couch.
Lucy took her hand away from her eyes and lifted herself up on her elbows. "Stop, Happy."
Natsu, still very aware of palming her breast, released her reluctantly and cursed Happy for his presence, though he didn't think Lucy was in much of a mood to be pawed. He wondered if she remembered the kiss. Then he wondered where to proceed from there. Was it something that they'd continue to do? Or was it a one-time thing?
Lucy skewered him with a look when she could no longer ignore his body pressing into her, as if to say really?
Natsu inched his hips back as well as he could, wanting to point out that she didn't mind last night. He valued the possibility of doing it again so much that he found it within himself to be silent. "Good sleep?"
"I guess." If you could call it that. It was more like a pass out.
Lucy puffed out a breath and wriggled from beneath him. Realizing what she wore seconds before she got from the sheets, she gave Happy a look. The cat was leaned over the back of the couch, looking absolutely uninterested in taking his eyes away. Resigned if only because both her bladder and stomach felt full, Lucy stood. Her panties were askew, as was her bra strap. It nicely complimented her bedhead if she was going for the classy one-night-stand look. She padded through the silent room to the washroom, hating herself every single step of the way.
She slammed the door closed. Happy's voice whispered through the room. Lucy couldn't hear what he said, but she heard Natsu's sharp, "Shut up, Happy," just before she dropped to her knees and let the toilet know what her body thought of the abuse she gave it.
Natsu was pulling on his pants when the door sounded. Still shirtless, he answered it to a frazzled looking Juvia.
"What's up?"
"Do you have aspirin?" the water mage asked. "Gray-sama isn't feeling well."
"I told him to stop after Lucy went in," Happy muttered. "But did he listen? Nope. Serves him right."
Juvia's expression pinched. She looked away from the cat instead of inquiring, though.
"Yeah," Natsu said. "I got something." He went for his pack on the ground.
"How was he when you two went out last night?" Juvia asked suddenly.
Natsu looked up from his bag. "What do you mean?"
Juvia shrugged. "Did he say anything? About his mark, I mean."
Natsu shook his head. "Why?"
She admitted, "It's been bothering him ever since we got into Magnolia." She wanted to add something else, Natsu could tell. He waited and waited for it. Nothing came. He shook out four aspirin then came back and dropped them into Juvia's hand. "I'm going to go back to that murder site to see if I can find anything. You should ask Gray if he wants to tag along."
"He's pretty sick," Juvia told him.
Natsu found he was actually sort of relieved anyway after his conversation with Lucy last night. He didn't want the opportunity to ask Gray the same questions he'd asked the blonde. He didn't want to know why they were acting the way they were. That's what he told himself, anyway. He was burning up with his unanswered questions.
The bathroom door opened and Lucy came out. She was damp haired and wrapped in one of the ratty thread-bare towels. Even exhausted and sick she drew the dragon slayer's eye and kept it. He remembered her hand on his cheek, his neck, her lips on his. He imagined kissing her again.
Lucy's eyes lifted and met not Natsu's but Juvia's. This time, the celestial mage was positive she didn't misunderstand the look in Juvia's eye. She was furious. And jealous. And the worst bit was, Lucy wasn't even sure she shouldn't be. She wanted to cry or sink to the floor or reassure the water mage. She did none of those things.
"Thanks for the aspirin. I'll let him know what you asked, Natsu." Juvia left in a swirl of indignation, closing the door with finality. Lucy winced, Natsu looked on thoughtfully, Happy seemed like he had it all figured out. Maybe he did.
Gray had moved from hanging over the toilet to resting his head against the bathroom wall. He breathed shallowly, trying to smell anything but acrid bile. It was a losing battle, it was in his nose, coated his throat. His head felt foggy, heavy with dehydration. He knew that to feel better he needed water, but he didn't think he could keep it down just then.
The bathroom door opened again and Juvia came through with a handful of aspirin. She looked both concerned and at the end of a short rope. "Here, Gray-sama."
Gray checked to make sure that his latest round of sickness was flushed, then took the pills from Juvia and popped them into his mouth dry. He chewed them; the taste was awful, but not so awful that he stopped. "Thanks."
"Thank Natsu."
"You went there?" Talking was hard, but he managed.
Juvia's eyes flashed. "Yes. Natsu wanted you to go back to the crime scene."
Gray groaned. "Not gonna happen. Not any time soon."
She harrumphed and said what she was dying to. "Lucy's also hungover, just so you know."
Gray winced.
Suspicions confirmed, Juvia's stomach plummeted. "You were out drinking with her?"
He shook his head, then, caught in a lie, nodded. "I mean," he explained, when Juvia's anger became a palpable thing, "She just showed up and hung out for a bit."
"Long enough to get drunk." Juvia's tongue was a knife.
Gray pressed his fingers into his eyes. "Yeah, I guess…"
She dug her fingers into her leg. "I know you don't like it when I get jealous, Gray-sama, but what do you expect me to think when you've snuck off to spend a night drinking with her while I'm asleep in our bed?"
"That's not what happened."
"Oh?"
"I was on my own."
"Until you weren't."
"I didn't ask her to show," Gray said. "She just did. I would have been happy to spend the night by myself."
Juvia snorted. "Yeah. You could have sent her away, or left, but I bet you didn't even try."
"Juvia—"
She talked over him. "Did you spend your time drinking and telling her all the secrets you won't tell me?"
His irritation was a persistent thing, steadily rising. "There wasn't any secret telling."
Tears made pools of Juvia's eyes. Her arms went around her middle like she was trying to hold everything in place. "Just be truthful."
"What fucking secret would I have to tell Lucy, huh?" Gray asked roughly.
Juvia didn't flinch; she'd thought this through, suspected all of his responses. "You probably told her all about how your mark was bugging you."
He fought the urge to press his fingers into his eyes. "Why would I? Not only is that stupid, my mark is fine."
Juvia's sadness turned into a scowl. "That's another lie. I know it's been bad."
"It's—"
"You're always taking aspirin, and grabbing at it, and drinking whenever you can."
"Sure," Gray admitted. "It's been pissing me off, but what do you want me to say, Juvia? That I've had a fucking migraine since we got to Magnolia? That my skin is crawling? That I wanted to stay the fuck away but you insisted on coming here? You know all of that. What else?" he asked, feeling confrontational. "What other secrets have we supposedly been chatting about?"
Her chin warbled; she still met his eyes. "Probably about why you didn't want to come back."
He would have stumbled if he wasn't still partially drunk. "I didn't want to come back because there's nothing here! Fairy Tail is dead, just like I said. What else?"
Feeling lunatic and brave, Juvia continued. "Maybe you and Lucy talked about why you won't look at her. I bet that was a nice conversation."
Gray finally found something capable of making his mouth slam shut.
Feeling sick, Juvia said, "You think I don't notice, Gray-sama, but I do."
Gray recovered. "There isn't anything to notice."
"You treat her differently."
He shook his head. "Lucy and I are the same as we've ever been."
Juvia's cheeks were suddenly wet. "You're in love with her, aren't you?"
"What?" You shouldn't even be surprised, he told himself, Juvia used to always be on his case about this girl or that. Except she never cried then. This was different. A good portion of the fight went out of him. "I'm not in love with Lucy, Juvia."
The sobbing kept on, unhindered. "Stop lying!"
I'm too fucking hungover for this shit, is what Gray wanted to say. In actuality, he stood and went to the blue haired water mage. She was stiff when he first gathered her in for a hug, but within seconds she collapsed, resting her entire weight on him while sobs wracked her body.
"I'm not in love with Lucy," Gray repeated. His chest was all knots.
"Then why won't you look at her? Why didn't you want to come back to Magnolia? Why did you sneak off with her and come back drunk?"
"Juvia—it was just a coincidence. She was there. I didn't ask her to meet me or anything." He might as well not have spoken at all, for all the sobbing she still did. "Juvia," Gray tried again. "Come on, cut it out." It was futile. Not really great for standing, Gray guided them to the floor, where they sat with their backs against the rickety vanity. "Come on."
Even angry with him, her fingers curled into his shoulder, her nose went into his clavicle. Her face was hot against his skin, each tear she cried feeling like molten lava, scalding him for his sins. You could tell her now. And Juvia would cry herself to death. Coward. But when she was so beside herself with only suspicion, what would she do with truth? He was silent and told himself it was because he didn't want to hurt her.
"Juvia, please—"
Juvia summoned language enough to spit out, "Why her?"
"Gods." He'd hoped they were past that. "Seriously?"
She was relentless. "What is it about her that's so great?"
"Nothing! I'm not in love with Lucy," he insisted. "Fuck."
"Then why were you drinking with her?"
"I was drinking with myself!" he exclaimed, voice louder than planned. "I told you, she just showed up."
"Why?"
"I don't know; she was out in the hall when I was?" He struggled to make his voice even again. "Just let it go. I'm not sneaking around trying to spend time with her behind your back. I promise."
Juvia's tears slowed. "But—"
"Don't, Juvia. Just let it go, okay? Lucy… there isn't anything there." His guilty conscience tried to trip him. He stood tall beneath its overladen blame. Lucy had been a one-time thing. A mistake. "I promise." He willed her to believe him.
Juvia sniffed and asked in a more monotone voice, "When we left Fairy Tail, you didn't want her to go with you instead?"
This time, truth was on his side. "No." Her chest stopped its restless convulsing. He petted her hair, sensing the comedown. "Just forget about this shit."
"That night—"
"I never asked anything of her," he said firmly. Is that as close as you can come to a confession? Pathetic.
"But—"
"Juvia, you're all I want to think about now. I promise."
Juvia settled, but his words would come back to her in the days to come.
Natsu dragged a shirt over his head while Lucy looked through her clothes and stole furtive glances at him. His hair stuck up at odd angles, mussed with sleep, his cheeks needed a good shave. Her heart panged with something like enjoyment. She quashed the feeling, scolding herself for loving the way he looked. For loving the way he felt. For wanting to lay beneath him not just drunk, but sober, too. It wasn't supposed to be like this.
Only when she watched him rub his palms (nervously?) on his pants did she notice she was staring.
She looked away just as Natsu said, "I'm going back to the crime scene." He didn't look like he particularly wanted to.
Glad for something productive and logical to talk about, she said, "Let me get dressed."
"Don't bother," Natsu said. "I won't be long."
Lucy stalled. "I want to come."
"It might be dangerous." He wouldn't meet her eye as he said it, choosing to drop his gaze and yank his socks on.
"So what?" Even hungover, she didn't want to sit in her room like a princess while Natsu looked for their killer.
"Lucy..."
"We did lots of dangerous things before," she told him. "You never cared then."
He looked like he swallowed a sour grape. "What if you're attacked?"
"No one is going to attack us in the middle of the day." Murders were a nighttime endeavor.
"That girl was dead—there's no coming back from that. This is serious."
"I know that," Lucy said. "I get it."
But she didn't. He shared a look with Happy, remembering the blood and panties and bare breasts.
"What the hell does that mean?" Lucy asked.
"What?" Natsu asked.
"That look, what the hell is that?"
"Nothing."
She shook her head in irritation and went back to her clothing pile, grabbing things at random.
"Lucy, just let me check it out first, okay?"
The look Lucy gave him was downright scathing. "I'm not sitting here while you take all the risks."
"Do I look like a blonde chick?" Natsu asked. "They're not going to be interested in me, so it's not much risk."
Lucy huffed indignantly. "You know no one is going to attack us in broad daylight."
"Probably not," he conceded, "But you're not feeling good anyway. Just hang out in here for a bit." He looked reluctant again but said, "Maybe go see what's up with Juvia and Gray—"
"No," Lucy said shortly.
"You're not staying by yourself."
"You're right. I'm coming." She sorted out her clothes. "You ditched me here last time. I'm not letting you do it again."
"Lucy—"
"No."
"I'll stick around if you want to hang out with me, Lucy," Happy said.
Lucy glowered. "No offense, Happy, but I don't want to stick around here at all. It doesn't matter who's with me."
The cat looked miffed.
"Come on, Luce—"
She gave him her best, 'I'm going to beat you if you continue,' look.
Natsu threw his hands into the air. "Fine, alright. Get dressed. I'll wait."
"Thank you." Placated, Lucy took her pile of clothes to the washroom. With the door closed, Natsu looked to Happy.
"Natsu," Happy hissed quietly, reading his friend well. "Don't. We promised her we wouldn't take off."
Without a word, Natsu shoved his boots on his feet and left, closing the door quietly, telling himself every step of the way that it was for Lucy's benefit. It helped with the guilt.
Lucy knew as soon as she opened the bathroom door and saw Happy wringing his tail dejectedly that Natsu left without her.
"Seriously?"
"Sorry, Lucy," Happy said, looking like he meant it. "You know how he is. He thinks he's protecting you."
Protecting? Lucy fought to block out the voice in her head that chirped he left because he doesn't think you can handle it. He left because he doesn't trust you'll be strong enough. If she could beat that mean voice to a bloody death she would have long, long ago. It didn't help anything, really, it only served to make her miserable, and she'd had enough of that.
"Do you want to play cards or something?" Happy asked.
Lucy went to the dresser holding her things and grabbed her boots from beside the stand. "No." She shoved her feet into the soft leather.
"What are you doing?" Happy asked.
"Going out, isn't that obvious?" Lucy questioned. She felt too hungover for so much action, but she would not just let Natsu lie and wander off.
"What about—"
"I don't care."
"Lucy, those girls—"
"I don't care," Lucy maintained. "I can handle it."
"But Lucy—"
"Either stay here or come, Happy, but I'm leaving with or without you." Lucy grabbed her keys. One in particular was hot. Reaching for her magic, she tugged Loke out of the celestial realm. He was coming anyway.
The spirit appeared, wearing his typical suit. The glasses were gone. "What's going on?"
Lucy summoned her resolve. "We're going to go solve these murders, you and me."
"What about Natsu and Gray and—"
"Natsu's a dumbass and is already gone, Gray's got his head in the toilet, and—well, I'm sure you can guess the rest," she said shortly, aware of Happy's curious gaze.
Loke puffed up his cheeks.
Happy tried to reason. "Loke, you can't. It's really not safe."
"We'll be fine," Lucy said shortly.
"You don't know that."
Loke looked to his master, torn. She trembled, really gearing herself up for this, like she wasn't sure if she could do it, but she wanted to badly enough that she was pushing herself into it. He recognized her trying to regain her confidence. This will be good for her. "We'll be fine, Happy. We'll just get some information, right, Lucy? And if we stumble onto something big, well..."
"We'll handle it," Lucy said, relieved he didn't fight her. "Come or stay, Happy."
The cat grumbled. "I should tell Natsu where we're going. He'll be worried if he comes back and we're all gone. I'll get him and meet up with you guys after?"
"Sure," Loke replied when Lucy didn't.
Lucy did a once-over of all of her gear. Keys—room and celestial—whip, bag with her water bottle, wallet, eyeliner and chap stick. That was everything. Satisfied, she set upon the same course Natsu had, not sure where she'd start looking, just glad that the decision to do so was made.
