Percy POV
I KISSED WISE GIRL!
WHOOOO, What An Experience!
I couldn't believe how good it felt to be kissing Annabeth. It was like the rest of the world melted away, and I was living in that one moment. I cherished every second of it.
I had to leave pretty soon after the kiss. We didn't even get a chance to talk about us.
Winter break passed by quickly and with minimal interaction with my friends. Chiron and Lupa enhanced my training regimen in preparation for the US Olympic Trials. Also, a bulk of winter break was spent working on college applications, which Paul helped me with. Hate to be 'that jock,' but swimming would definitely get me into college.
I'm hoping for NYU so that I can stay close to home. I don't think I can go out-of-state. Besides, I have to stay close to Chiron and Lupa; they are my coaches.
More importantly, Chiron and I worked together on my Olympic Trial application. It was a whole process, but if I did everything correctly, I'll get selected. My times qualify me. Also, thanks to my performance at Winter Nationals, my name was buzzing in the right circles (according to Lupa).
Even through all this, I couldn't stop thinking about Annabeth.
She constantly permeated my mind and soul. I even dreamed about her sometimes; some of my dreams were even dirty (I'm gonna keep those to myself). I'd rather not describe those dreams for y'all.
Before I knew it, school started again, much to my disappointment.
"I can't believe we're back at school," I grumbled. "My break wasn't even a break."
"What we're you doing?" Jason asked.
"Not everyone is a good student like you. I had to submit my college and Olympic apps at the last minute."
Jason rolled his eyes as we walked into school. "And, who's fault is that," he teased.
"Anyway, what are you gonna do about Annabeth?" He asked seriously.
Of course, I told Jason about kissing Annabeth. First of all, I had to tell someone because I had to brag about what an amazing experience it was. Secondly, he's my best friend, and I need advice. I just don't know where Annabeth and I stand; plus, I have so much going on.
It just felt like a bad idea to be in a relationship right now. I really like Annabeth though.
"My mind is saying one thing, but my heart is saying a different thing," I expressed sadly.
"Ooh, look who's a philosopher."
We laughed while walking to our lockers. Our group of friends were lounging in the hall, waiting for us. This was a common habit of ours to talk before school begins. Jason picked me up from Olympia today (because I forgot to put gas in my car), so it was a surprise for everyone when we came together.
"What do we owe the pleasure of seeing the best bros together this morning?" Leo cooed. I shoved him playfully.
"We're switching things up," I replied.
As a conversation started amongst the group members, my gaze wondered to Annabeth. She was standing quietly and smiling at everyone. Gods, I wanted to be alone with her so bad.
Her eyes locked onto mine, and she seemed to be searching for something. I gestured for her to sidestep the group.
"I'm sorry I didn't talk much during the break," I whispered so only she could hear.
"I figured you were busy. You're a huge procrastinator anyway," she teased.
My heart lurched at the grin on her face. Annabeth just so beautiful. Gods, I'm so attracted to her. I know I'm hesitating to make things official between us, but I wanted to be sure.
I didn't want to rush into any relationship, especially considering how my last one ended. Furthermore, I wanted to make sure that I could give Annabeth the time, energy, and attention she deserves. Yet, I'm so committed to swimming right now. That's why a relationship seemed like a bad idea.
"So, um, what are we?" Annabeth asked, taking the lead, nervousness laced in her voice.
"I don't know. I just have so much going on, but I also know that I care about you and I like you a lot," I spoke honestly. "That's the truth because I never want to lie to you, Wise Girl."
Annabeth nodded, smiling at my words.
"When you figure it out and decide to give us a try, come find you," she said softly. Her stormy eyes were shimmering, drawing me closer to her.
"What will happen then?" I asked.
"I'll leave that to your imagination," Annabeth replied.
Her voice sounded so sensual that a blush inevitably burned my face. Wise Girl winked before retreating down the hall, leaving me lovestruck.
Gods, I want us to work. I really do.
Yet, I couldn't help feeling as though it was a bad idea right now. With everything going on, I need to stay focused. The #1 thing I promised my coaches was to not having any distractions. Sigh.
How can a bad idea feel so right and so perfect? How can a bad idea be your dream?
...
When your a competitive athlete, you put your body through the extreme of physical exhaustion. I oftentimes go home after a practice feeling near-dead. My muscles are used to the constant exercise, but it's still expected to massage and stretch them.
As such, I try to have at least one session with a physical therapist/massage therapist every week. I decided to have a session today. Currently, I'm laying on my stomach (90% naked) while my therapist was pressing my legs, untangling the tightness of my calves.
This was just a part of my schedule, not an extravagance that I particularly enjoy.
I turned to watch Chiron sitting on the chair. He usually comes with me to my therapy session; even Lupa joined today, talking to Chiron.
"How are you feeling, Percy?" Chiron asked.
"I feel good. I'd feel even better if my therapist added a little more pressure against my thighs," I responded slyly.
My therapist chuckled behind me.
Regardless, the extra pressure felt good. Chiron and Lupa were watching an iPad, probably charting my times and studying my other competitors.
The smell of the scented oils made me want to fall asleep. I felt tired and my eyes were drooping. However, I knew that I needed to have an important conversation with my coaches. I desired advice but wasn't sure how to bring up the topic.
Luckily, like always, Chiron could sense my reticence.
"What is it, Perseus?"
"Lupa, can I ask you a question?" I brought up.
I watched Lupa look up curiously. She was sideways to me since I was laying down; but, she still looked fierce. Her eyes shone with wisdom, beckoning me to continue.
"You both know Annabeth, and you both know how great she is. I care about her a lot, and she's gotten a lot closer to me. I want a relationship with Annabeth," I faltered into a pause.
"But..." Lupa questioned.
Of course, she knew I was hesitating. Lupa used to be a mainstream Olympic competitive; obviously, she knew about the hesitation that comes with dating when you have a near-impossible goal in mind.
"I want to give myself to her in the right way, yet I'm so busy right now. I feel like rushing into a relationship with her will cause trouble," I said nervously.
"I just don't want things to get messed up between me and Annabeth. But, I also don't want to lose swimming in any way."
"What's your priority, Percy?" Lupa asked seriously.
"Huh?"
"What is more important to you, swimming or being in a romantic relationship with Annabeth?" Coach Lupa asked directly. It was so straightforward that it startled me. Chiron was shaking my head in disapproval at this incredibly difficult question.
"Lupa, you can't speak that way to him," Chiron affirmed.
"Chiron," Lupa snapped angrily. I have seen her actually mad before. "When I was in my competitive days, I did not date. The most I could get through are a couple flings. Do you know how difficult it is to juggle love/romance with competition, especially when you're an Olympian?"
I quietly listened to her as she continued.
"The worst part is that I knew it was my fault. I couldn't (physically couldn't) split my time between my passion of swimming and maintaining a relationship. It's too hard. You'll lose one whether you want to or not."
"Percy isn't you though," Chiron argued. "I've seen him work through impossibilities. He can manage a relationship, especially with someone as understanding at Annabeth."
I agreed. Annabeth already understands how busy I am. She's willing to work around that.
Lupa's deep eyes stared at me, burning me.
I knew exactly what she was conveying.
Does Annabeth deserve me when I'm always dedicating myself to swimming? Or, does she deserve better?
I swallowed my nerves. Wise Girl deserves the best in the world, but was I so wrong to assume that I could be her best.
What if I am the best for her?
Is it too selfish of me to think so just because I so deeply want to be Annabeth?
Chiron answered the question for me: "Perseus, you won't know unless you try. I agree that your first priority should be swimming right now. However, you also deserve to have a personal life as well..."
"Annabeth is the type of young lady who will support you as long as you're loving and faithful. You know that's true, so what are you afraid of?"
I knew the answer to that.
The answer explains why this could be such a bad idea.
"I'm afraid of putting myself in a situation where I will have to choose between a once-in-a-lifetime swimming career OR a genuine commitment to my friends and to Annabeth," I answered honestly.
Silence filled the room.
I guess I'm being a coward, avoiding a situation where I might have to choose.
The truth is that I don't want to choose. I want to have both, but I can't see both being a possibility. At least, not at this stage of my life and career.
"Should the situation arise, I'm afraid of what decision I'll make..."
"And, you're scared of possibly regretting the decision later in life," Lupa finished for me.
...
This chapter is pretty deep. Not to pry on the personal, but what sincerely difficult decisions have ya'll had to make? Did you end up regretting your choice?
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