Thirty seconds later, Jughead was already halfway through his second burger, but the other guy, still sitting across the table from him, hardly seemed to notice. He looked almost bored. Of course, Jughead had expected a lot of things when he entered this dark, mysterious version of his reality, but to meet a version of himself who didn't share his love of hamburgers? That was a new one. He wondered if this universe had any more nasty surprises for him.

"Are you sure that's good for you?" said the other Jughead as he washed it all down with a swig of ketchup.

"What can I say? I have a high metabolism," said Jughead. "Also, my stomach is bigger on the inside."

"Is that... a Doctor Who reference?"

He nodded, which made the other Jughead smile for a moment, even if it was just a moment. Then he returned to his usual frown.

Jughead couldn't help but wonder what was bothering this guy, so much like himself, who was just sitting there, a mere three feet away from him with that beanie pulled down over his ears. But it seemed more like a million miles. He also hadn't eaten any of the fries Jughead had offered him, which was practically a travesty.

"So," Jughead said to keep the conversation going. "I've been going into all the other timelines to stop myself from making terrible mistakes."

"Uh huh. So, kind of like Sliders, but without all the awful dystopias?" the other Jughead asked, seemingly intrigued, but failing to hide his boredom.

"I dunno," said Jughead. "Have you even seen the world you're living in? There is a murderer on the loose in Riverdale. Everyone here looks miserable. Heck, even the sky looks darker. Totally a dystopia."

"Come on, man. We've had like, one murder."

"Yeah, and it's one murder too many."

"So is that what you've been doing in all the other worlds? Solving murders?"

"No, but that would be awesome. So far it's just been things like in one timeline, when I stopped myself from joining the football team. And in another case, I intervened to save the Jones family from a fate worse than death..." Jughead paused for emphasis. "Living in Ohio."

"That does sound terrifying," the other Jughead said, and yet he still didn't sound like he really meant it.

Something had to be troubling him though if it was making him act this distant. Why is it so hard to get through to someone who is literally me? Jughead thought.

"Listen man, is something wrong?" he said to his other self.

"Nah, it's just... what you're saying sounds fascinating and all. But, is there any way you can prove you really are me?"

It was a diversion tactic on the part of his double, but Jughead decided to go ahead and indulge him.

"Oh, that's easy," he said. "I'll just tell you anything and everything I know about Jughead Jones."

"I guess this could be interesting," said the other one, who was at last beginning to ease out of his gloominess.

Jughead checked that he had the full attention of his double. Then he began.

"Okay, well for starters, your— I mean our full name is Forsythe Pendleton Jo—"

"Shhh! Not so loud! People can hear you."

"You really hate it that much?"

"I don't hate it," said the other Jughead. "It just reminds me too much of my dad."

"Why? What did he do, Juggie?"

"Many things. Doesn't matter though. Also what's with you suddenly calling me Juggie?"

"It's a thing of beauty," Jughead explained. "Juggie – the nickname of a nickname. And since I don't refer to myself in third person, I almost never get the chance to use it."

"I know but... no one calls me that except Mom and..."

He trailed off. Jughead was sure the next word out of his mouth was going to be Dad, but instead he saw the other boy mouthing the name Betty. That made very little sense to him. Why would Betty have semi-exclusive access to the nickname? He could think about that later, perhaps. For now he just decided to ignore it and carry on.

"Anyway, you act real dumb in class, but your IQ is 117."

"A lucky guess."

"Your Gmail password is JanuaryMcAndrew5. You have no idea why you chose it. It came to you in a dream."

"Not even close."

Somehow his other self was still not buying it. So Jughead decided to bring out the big guns.

"Okay, so before moving to Riverdale, you were kinda, sorta in love with Joanie Jumpp. Y'know, from kindergarten? But you were like, four."

The other Jughead squinted at him.

"Who told you that?"

"As you got older, the more you learned about girls and boys and dating and... romance, the more you realized you want absolutely nothing to do with it. And most other kids didn't get that, but you swear you've been aromantic since before you knew there was a word for it. You're also pretty sure you're also asexual as well."

Jughead realized his heart was pounding far more than it should, like he was 12 again and having this conversation with his parents. It only then occurred to him that it was indeed the strangest coming out talk in his entire life.

"Wait, back up a sec. I'm a what?"

"Asexual," Jughead began to explain. "It means you don't experience sexual attrac— WAIT, you mean to tell me you don't know?!"

"No-no, that other word you used."

"Oh, aromantic. That's where you don't experience romantic attract— WAIT, you mean you didn't know about that one either?!"

"No."

Jughead didn't answer, but his wide-eyed expression was making look even more comical than he usually looked. His other self spoke again.

"Why is this such a big deal?"

"I dunno, man. Being aromantic is just such a Jughead thing. I kinda figure it would be a constant in every universe, like Archie being a redhead, or burgers being delicious."

The other Jughead stared right on past him. The full reality of that word he'd said was just beginning to sink in.

Then at last he shook his head.

"Well, I'm not. Okay? Do you want me to apologize for that?"

Jughead bit his lip. He shouldn't have expected his double to get it right away, but how quickly he had gone to denying it outright was worrying. It was then that Jughead realized he'd made a terrible mistake.

"No man, it's okay," he tried to backpedal. "I guess I shouldn't have straight-up told you what your orientation is. That was uncalled for. I just thought you might've come to that conclusion by yourself..."

"No, Jughead. The fact is, I already know who I am, and that means I can't be asexual, aromantic or anything else you say I am. Okay?"

"Wait a sec. Are you seriously coming out to me as... straight?!"

"Yes Jughead. That is exactly what I am. Thanks for noticing."

At this, Jughead had to raise an eyebrow. Yet he noticed also that in spite of all his outward confidence, the other Jughead's hands were shaking.

"Have you at least considered the possibility that you might be gay?" Jughead asked, even though he knew it was a stretch.

"No, and at this point I really don't think I need to."

"Oh come on. What makes you so certain you don't even—?"

"Well for one thing, there's the fact that I kinda, sorta have a girlfriend!"

Jughead stared at his double in outright disbelief.

"No... Don't tell me it's—"

"Dude, relax. It's only Betty."

"Wait, WHAAT?" said Jughead, his worst fears confirmed. "No nooo, I'm too late! Truly, this is the darkest timeline!"

"Dude! Are you being sarcastic?" the other Jughead asked.

Jughead responded with a sharp intake of breath. "No, I am not being sarcastic! This whole Jughead-having-a-girlfriend thing, a girlfriend who is also Betty – this is not okay."

"Why not? Betty's nice."

"Yes, of course she's nice. She is unbelievably nice. She's your best friend, Jug. And then you go and like, kiss her?"

"I don't see what the big deal is."

"The deal is that we are in the darkest timeline, a sad-sack universe in which everything is messed up. And to top it all off, you just royally messed things up by KISSING YOUR BEST FRIEND."

Jughead thought he may have gone too far with that last comment. He half expected his alternate self to punch him in the face. Fortunately for him, he knew Jughead Jones couldn't throw a punch to save his life.

It was quite a while before the other guy responded.


AN: Phew, that was quite a delay. Hope the POV change in this chapter wasn't too confusing. In the next one we're back to TV!Jughead, and continuing to alternate between them in the odd and even chapters. As a matter of fact, it's already posted on Ao3, but I'm keeping a buffer for you here on FF, so you'll get it sometime in the next week or so.