Flashback is in italics. Flashback was taken from Wash It All Away – Chapter 6.1: Walk The Distance

36 - Stupid Yes – Asshole No

Ashley's PoV

"What took you so long?" I breathed and didn't wait for an answer. My hands tightened their grip in her hair as I felt her tongue trace tentatively against my lower lip. All I could do was groan deep in my throat and grant her access. She tasted like vanilla. Sweet. I sucked on her tongue briefly before releasing it and allowing mine to explore. Her hands scratched down my back over my shirt material and grabbed my ass.

I gasped against her mouth and felt her grin into the kiss as my legs instinctively wrapped around her waist.

Spencer didn't break the lip contact as she cupped my ass and lifted me off the desk, carrying me the short distance to the bed. Fuck she was strong.

I felt my back hit the soft mattress and her body immediately covered my own. Her lips were now trailing down my jaw, her left hand was cupping my hip. "I'm so addicted to you," she breathed hotly into my ear and it made my centre gush. I bit my lip and growled as her lips wrapped around my earlobe, sucking softly.

My hands slid underneath her shirt, her back was so soft. I felt her body shiver slightly as my fingers grazed her bare sides. She fused her lips back to mine, her tongue demanding entrance.

Jesus, Spencer could kiss.

//

I kissed her forehead and pulled the covers up to her chin, watching her for a few more seconds before standing up. "Night Baby Dyl." I smiled as she sighed and turned onto her side, getting comfortable in her sleep.

I closed the door and leaned against it. I caught a glimpse of Lucas sleeping in her own bed, wishing I could go in there and wish her a goodnight as well.

I just wasn't sure if it'd be awkward or not. She wasn't my daughter.

"Hey," Spencer's voice came softly from the top of the stairs, "everything okay?"

I nodded with a big smile. I got to spend time with Dylan alone and it was amazing. "Perfect."

"Did you want to stay for a bit?" She asked me as we made our way quietly down the stairs.

"Actually," I sighed and bit my lip, "I promised Chelsea I'd hang out with her before she leaves this weekend."

"Ah, yes." Spencer nodded with a small smile. "Friday's the big day."

Friday I'd officially have Dylan back in my own care. I was excited and Lucas seemed to have warmed up to the idea once I promised them I wasn't going anywhere until the end of the month. My job in Thunder Bay was on hold until I was certain I was going to do the right thing.

And every night for a week and a half since Dylan's hockey game, I was at Spencer's tucking her in. Four nights out of eight, Jaiden was babysitting Lucas while Spencer had her work to attend too. It was a disappointment to find the blonde gone when I dropped Dylan off those nights.

"Maybe tomorrow?" I asked, biting my lip.

"They have hockey and then I have to Coach Jaiden's team." Spencer looked down and clapped her hands together. "Come on," she sighed softly, "just stay for like, ten more minutes," her lips turned into an adorable pout, "please?"

"Ugh," I teased her, rolling my eyes, "you and your adorableness."

Spencer beamed as I slid onto the couch, facing the fire that was going lowly in the fireplace. "You could never resist that pout."

"Yea," I smirked, "Lucas perfected it just like you."

"Oh God I know." Spencer laughed. "She can get away with so much if I'm not around. Jaiden will give in so easily once the Carlin pout comes out."

"Can't say I blame her." I chuckled and glanced at Spencer's profile. I couldn't resist the urge to reach out and touch her. My thumb trembled slightly over the scar above her eyebrow, she jumped a little and then looked at me. Our eyes locked and we stayed like that for a few minutes, just… looking. "What happened?" I whispered, my thumb mapping out the scar gently, never leaving her eyes.

"Fight." Spencer blushed. "I was actually trying to break it up between Carmen and this girl on my team back in college."

"Oh." I frowned and trailed my fingers down her temple, to her cheek and down her neck. "I've missed you." I couldn't help it. I did. I wanted her to know that.

Spencer closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them. "You have no idea," she breathed. Her hand reached mine, the one that was resting lightly against her shoulder, and she kissed the back of it, "sometimes I think this is really crazy. You and me, here together again. I'd like to think I got over you," her hands cupped my face when I lowered my head and brought our eyes back to eye level, "but clearly I haven't because every time I look at you, I just want to kiss you to help mend the pain."

"Spencer, I'm so sorry." Finally that final wave of emotion came down on me and I broke out into tears. "I didn't mean to cause you so much pain, I swear. I'm an asshole." I stared at her as she laughed and shook her head, wiping my tears away.

"You're not an asshole," she whispered and tucked her bottom lip between her teeth, "stupid yes, asshole no."

I cracked a smile and rubbed my face, hating myself for the small break down. "Dylan loves it here," I said in a quiet voice, "she doesn't want to leave. She can't stand the thought of leaving Kenora."

"Ash," Spencer sat back and tilted her head to the side, "everyone thinks that I'm taking this whole thing really well when in reality, all I want to do is break down and just, cry for days. Dyl's become a huge part of us and Lucas is so in love with your daughter. And I don't mean in love, I just mean that they are so close, closer than close." She moved to face me a little more. "I'd by lying if I said that seeing her leave isn't killing me inside but what makes it better is knowing who she's going home too."

I melted when she stared at me, her hand caressing mine lightly. "I don't know what to do."

"Whatever you have to," she replied and blew a strand of hair out of her face, "you have to do it for you though."

I nodded and swallowed.

I'd be leaving so much behind if I decided to go back to Thunder Bay. My plan was to actually head back to BC and take care of my parents' estate. Their house was left in my name along with their inheritance money – it was perfect for starting over. However knowing exactly who I was going to leave behind, conflicted everything I had ever dreamed of.

Of course having Spencer back in my life was more than I ever dreamed of. To have her talking to me, touching me, looking at me with those bluish grey eyes that shared so much emotion in them; I didn't want to let that all go again.

And our daughters!

Our daughters are the best of friends, they are sisters and you know, I thought that it was just a coincidence. But it wasn't. Dylan led me here. She led me to Spencer and seeing how she developed a deep relationship with Lucas, showed me that there was more to the story that was unfolding before us.

"It's been ten minutes." Spencer smiled and let go of my hand, standing up. "I should let you get back to Chelsea."

I pouted but stood up, grabbing my coat. I was tempted to call Chelsea and tell her there was a change of plans – but I couldn't. She had been so helpful with me in all of this. She was my sanity from the very beginning.

"So are you still doing a light dinner at Rapture tomorrow?" I asked shyly.

"Of course. It's tradition and you know I never break tradition." Spencer's eyes twinkled and I chuckled. "Call me if you're bored tomorrow. I have the day off."

"Consider it done." I smiled.

I had my hand on the door handle after tugging on my footwear. I considered it.

You know.

Dylan's request.

"Drive safe, it's slippery out there." Spencer whispered as she enveloped me in a hug.

"I will, I promise." I pulled back and licked my lips. She sighed softly when I cupped the side of her cheek, my thumb running smoothly over her skin. "Spence," I whispered her name and closed my eyes, not being able to fight the temptation.

I felt her gasp slightly at the gentle pressure my lips had against hers. Her hands tightened my jacket in her fists as I found myself pressed against her door, her lips finally relaxing against my own.

I moaned quietly, trying to quell the hard thumping in my chest.

I was kissing Spencer Carlin.

I was kissing Spencer Carlin.

I was fucking kissing Spencer Carlin.

"Oh God," Spencer ripped her lips away from mine, looking at me with an intensity I couldn't even begin to describe. Suddenly her head ducked back down and her hands were tangled in my hair, her lips back on mine again as her body pinned me harder against the door.

Lips caressed with such grace and tongues stayed in their respective mouths. It didn't deepen any further than her bottom lip being trapped between mine and vice versa.

Finally I pulled back with the lack of oxygen and felt her hot breath against my neck, placing tender kisses up towards my ear. "What took you so long?" She whispered.

I was stupid.

But kissing her was definitely the right thing to do.

--

We're having my in-laws here this week so I won't be posting anything until next weekend, sorry guys! It's their first visit to Canada!