Why the hell am I still in here? Oh, that's right. I'm stupid and my brain is stupider.
Since my dad was killed a few years ago, I've kept everyone at arm's length. Not letting anyone close to my heart is the only way I've been able to get up in the morning. I won't let it be smashed into a million pieces again. Ever. But I can't stop thinking about him. How can some stranger do this to me?
I look down at the piece of paper in front of me, noticing all the doodles I've made. Fuck it. I toss the pen and tear out the paper, stuffing it into my bra.
Sorry brain, you've been overruled.
.
.
.
What's up with these floors? I lean against the wall for a few seconds, regaining my balance. I've never noticed it before but it's like I'm walking on a cruise ship. I've got to tell Esme her floors are warped.
I finally make my way down the hall. Ugh! I'm never going to find him. There's got to be a few hundred people here. Maybe I need a higher vantage point so I can see around this place. I start toward the stairs when I hear him.
I take off my shoes and push my way through the crowd. "Excuse me, coming through!" I move across the room, elbowing ribs and stepping on toes. My heart is racing and my hands are shaking. I can't believe I'm doing this! Almost there...so close...finally...
I've found him. Everything and everyone else disappears. I am completely lost in him. I can feel my teeth digging into my bottom lip as his eyes stare into mine. My breaths are coming out like pants as my heart pounds under my chest. After what seems like years, his eyes tear away from mine, breaking the spell. I finally look around and see all eyes in the room on me as I stand in the center of the empty circle.
He tugs on his tie as he clears his throat. "Sorry. Where was I?" The crowd laughs.
I take a step back, realizing I've just interrupted something as he continues.
"Being here, surrounded by friends and family, has made me realize just how lucky I am." His voice is soft, sincere.
Carlisle steps forward. "We're happy you're here, and Esme and I are grateful to have such wonderful guests in our home. Let's all raise our glasses to the happy couple, Edward and Tanya!"
WhatTheFuck.
My eyes scan to the girl beside him and my heart stops.
Just fucking great. Just fuckity fucking fuck fuck great.
My head is trying to process the horror as I hear Alice heading my way. "Bella! There you are!"
I walk toward her; the stupid floor causes me to trip. "Jesus, Bella! How much have you had to drink?"
I laugh loudly as I fall into her arms. "Not enough," I answer. "Not nearly enough."
She helps me up and straightens my dress. "Just don't embarrass me in front of Jasper. He finally showed up."
My mind is going in a million different directions. I can't even process what she's saying. "What?"
Alice crosses her arms and lets out a huff. "Jasper is here and the stupid bitch is with him. She hasn't let her claws out of him since they got here. You should see what she's wearing! She looks like she gave her credit card to 'Fredrick's of Hollywood' and told them to 'keep it classy'."
I toss my head back, unable to stifle a loud laugh, grateful for the distraction. "Alice, I love you." I slip on my heels and grab a flute of champagne as a waiter walks by. "Let's go find him." Alice nods excitedly and I follow her to the backyard, knowing good and well we aren't talking about the same guy.
.
.
It's beautiful out here. Jazz hums through the air, and white lanterns hang from the trees. It's like a fairytale.
Well, a fairytale where the witch gets the prince. Stop it, Bella.
I quickly scan the yard, searching for his disheveled hair. My legs collapse from under me when I see him, causing me to grab onto Alice.
"Geez, Bella. You can barely stand up! You need to eat something."
Food is not what I need right now.
"I'm gonna grab you a little something to eat. Stay right here." Alice scurries off, leaving me to my thoughts.
He's perfection. His lips, his jaw. Mmm, the things I would do to that mouth. The dam between my legs has broken and the river Edward is overflowing.
"Here. Take a bite." Alice breaks me from my reverie.
Before I can protest I see Tanya approach him. She's beautiful. More than beautiful. Her long golden hair matches her dress as though it was made for her. I've seen this dress before. It's from Versace's 2013 Fall-Winter Haute Couture Collection. It's official. She has everything I want.
I shove the cracker in my mouth to appease Alice and chase it down with the champagne to appease me. My eyes flicker over to Edward who's...oh my god...who's looking right at me. Look away, Bella! Look away!
Why is he staring at me when he has her beside him?
And then it hits me.
He's mad. I totally made fun of his fiancé.
"Ooo, that's Tanya!" Alice whispers. "And the guy beside her is my cousin, Edward. I'll introduce you!"
Before I can object she's pulling me over to them. I grip her arm tight, trying to slow her down. Please kill me now.
"Edward, Tanya. This is my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Bella Swan."
I chug the rest of my champagne, my eyes avoiding Edward's. No need to add insult to injury.
"Bella! How pleasant to meet you." Tanya reaches out her bony hand and grasps mine. "Any friend of dear little Alice is a friend of mine." Ugh. And there it is. The Madonnas. I seriously cannot handle this shit right now.
"Tanya. I've heard so much about you. You're just as I suspected. Practically perfect in every way." Did I really just quote Mary Poppins with an accent that would make Eliza Doolittle proud? Yes. Yes I did.
I hear a splutter from beside me; Edward has sprayed his drink from his mouth.
"Seriously, Edward? We may be in Hicksville but please try to forget you're from 'round these parts.' Use some manners." Tanya rolls her eyes and turns back to me with a phony smile.
Did she really just talk to him like a kindergarten teacher chastising a five year old? Bitch.
"So, Bella. Your accent is quite distinct. Where in the UK are you from?"
Do. Not. Say. It.
"Well, I've lived in Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire. Hurricanes hardly happen."
And there it is.
"Hurricanes?" Tanya looks at Edward confused, but he's turned around. His shoulders bounce and his face is covered. Shit. He must be really pissed. Oh, well. I'm drunk and he obviously has bad taste in women. Good riddance, dude.
"Mmmhmm." I grab another drink as the waiter passes by. "Thank you, young chap!"
Alice grabs my drink from my hand and pulls me away. "Uh, sorry for the interruption. Bella and I need to run. Nice chatting with you guys!"
"Sorry, Ali...I couldn't..." She stops abruptly, causing me to slam into her back.
"There they are." Alice whispers and I see Jasper first. You can never miss his wild, blond mane. "See what I mean? Angela's talons haven't released him all night."
I see Angela. Her fake Double D's are popping from the sweetheart neckline of the tight, black polyester dress.
"BELLA, ALICE!" Angela waves in our direction. Jasper's head turns toward us, his eyes never leaving Alice as we approach.
"Well, look at you, Alice. I'd never pegged you as a leopard print kind of girl." Angela laughs, obviously making fun of her.
"I think she looks beautiful." Jasper pipes in. I grab onto Alice's arm when I hear her breath hitch.
"Doesn't she, Jasper?" I smile over at Angela; her eyes narrow at us both. Bring it on. I dare you.
"Seriously? Alice should be wearing polka dots and lace. Leopard print is for women, not little girls."
Aw hell nah.
"Just because she doesn't dress like a fucking skank doesn't mean she's a child. Just because she has class doesn't mean she can't be sexy and beautiful. And just because I'm wearing my best fucking heels doesn't mean I won't knock you the fuck out, Angela. I am so sick of rude bitches getting the best guys."
I turn to Jasper, not caring that I've made a scene. "Jasper, if you want to be with this rude ass whore, you're a fucking idiot, too."
I am so done with this party.
Without any fucks left to give, I turn and stomp toward the house. When I reach the stone pavers my foot slips, causing me to fall to my hands and knees. I fight back tears as I make myself stand, dust myself off and hold my head up high, like I always do.
With blood dripping down my leg and my palms burning like fire, I crawl into one of the awaiting cabs out front. What is with that guy? There's a good, decent woman standing in front of him and he wants to be with someone like her? I close my eyes and all I can see is him.
All I can see is Edward.
A/N: Hi! First off, thank you so much for the reviews and follows. Seriously makes my day!
Bella's having a rough night, huh? Don't worry. Happy times are planned. :)
I'll post the outfits on my polyvore account. Check out my bio for the link.
Happy Hump Day!
