Thank you for the reviews.
So I have had a slight change of circumstance, I have asked for fewer hours and I currently have one extra day off. So I am just going to have to organise my time well and hopefully write a little more. Not going to promise anything at the moment but we will have to see how things work out.
This chapter will hopefully cheer you up though.
Chapter 14
The Suggestion
Twelve hadn't slept. He had sat, in the same spot, strumming his guitar all night. He hadn't even tried to sleep. He had been in some sort of daze ever since River left him after telling him that she couldn't go through with the agreement made for them. He knew that she wasn't all for it. He knew that he wasn't all for it. But he had never thought about ever ending the agreement.
He didn't want to be forced into a marriage but he didn't want to be alone. He knew that he had told his brothers many times that he was good on his own but he wasn't. He saw what Ten had with Rose and he wanted something like that. He wanted someone that he could turn to and smile at and everything would be okay.
He shook his head as he felt the tears start to trickle down his face. He didn't want to be like he was. He didn't want to act cold or unobservant or like the biggest grump going. He wanted to be like his older brothers. He wanted to be liked and surrounded by so many people. He wanted a family, but not necessarily related by blood. He wanted what Ten had.
"Are you coming to breakfast?"
Twelve looked up to see Clara standing there. She gave him a small smile that he couldn't return in that moment. She didn't need to see him wallowing in self-pity because he was nothing like his brothers. He just hoped Thirteen would have a better time of it than he did.
"No. I am not hungry."
"I thought..."
"Clara, no to be rude, but I would like to be left alone."
He didn't look at her but she knew that she was giving him a sad smile. She hadn't yet found out what had happened but he knew that by the end of the day she would. Then she would just pity him even more. He didn't need her pity. He just needed her. He needed Clara Oswald, the short woman that could walk faster than half his men.
"I'll get someone to bring you something."
He looked up to argue but she had already gone. He cursed himself. He was now going to blow it with her as well. He knew that he could easily catch up with her now to apologise but stayed where he was, doing exactly the same thing that he had been doing all night.
He was going to end up alone.
"You cared about the arrangement, didn't you?"
Twelve just looked up as Clara interrupted his thoughts for a second time that day.
"I don't know whether to be grateful that you actually have left your room and playing a different tune or not. What's the tune called?"
"I may not have wanted it, but I knew how hard Ten fought to have his marriage recognised. The council can be rather difficult when they want to be."
"Answering my first question. So the second one was worst?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"Because the tune or song or whatever is called Clara."
She gave him a wide smile. "What's bad about that?"
"At the very least, it should be called River." He looked down at his guitar. "I don't know how I am going to go back to Gallifrey to tell the council that the arranged marriage between River Song and me isn't going ahead."
"Maybe you don't."
"Sorry?"
Clara took the seat next to him. "See the problem is, I am promised to your brother but I believe he loves another. But that isn't even the start of it. I believe the person he loves is the person that is… well, was promised to you. And I know that I would rather be with you than him. So do you think we could swap?"
Twelve just blinked at her. "Sorry?"
"Basil, your brother is a good man and I can see why I have been paired with him, but I have enjoyed your company so much more. And let's face it, you must have suspected something. Plus I have seen the way that they look at each other. Honestly only some who is blind wouldn't be able to see it."
"That is why she said ask your brothers." Twelve said. "And why Ten had that chat with me. The..."
"Anyway, I have been thinking about this for a while. I just don't have the same feeling when I am around Eleven that I have when I am around you."
"The nervous feeling, even though we have spoken before."
Clara giggled. "I am glad I am not the only one to feel it."
"Clara, I always thought that I was good alone. I thought I was one of those people that could just be alone and not need to rely on anyone else. But I do. I just hadn't met the right person yet."
She bit her lip before she spoke. "My mother, before she died, always talked about this feeling she had whenever she was around my father. I had always looked for that feeling. It might not be what you want to hear, but I did love Danny. I just never had that feeling with him."
"I could do what you suggested. Just was a Lord of Gallifrey ever named as being promised to you? A certain Lord?"
"No. The agreement just said a Lord of Gallifrey. Why? What are you thinking?"
"If I go to the council, with the suspicion that something has happened between Eleven and River and the knowledge that we weren't named until after the war, then they might see your way of thinking. Basically, if I can prove that changing the Lords would be more beneficial..."
"They might be inclined to change it."
"The council will probably not be happy with it."
"But after everything the council has put you through, don't you deserve to be happy?"
Twelve looked at her. "I don't deserve you."
"Maybe not but I don't deserve you either."
They sat there, smiling at each other. For the first time since the arrangement was announced, Twelve didn't feel any bad feeling towards it. If he could have a life with Clara, it would be better than the years that he had before. They might not deserve each other but they were exactly what the other one needed.
