Tanya reentered the box and looked around in awe. "No, but, genuinely, who built this? It's gorgeous and scientifically impossible."
Martha looked at the Doctor curiously, who shrugged whilst he fiddled with what Tanya assumed was the controls but which really looked like one of those giant test chambers holding people in horror movies.
Only grungier.
The doctor smiled at them. "TARDISes aren't built. They're grown. And aren't aliens also meant to be scientifically impossible?"
Tanya raised an eyebrow. "Oh, as if. Anyone with common sense knows there's no possible way that humans are the only intelligent life forms in the universe. There's probably stuff out there that could squish us out like bugs." She paused. "Like you, actually."
The Doctor scrunched up his face in offense. "Oi, I just saved a hospital on the moon a few hours ago!"
"I'm not saying you would, I'm saying you could."
Martha interjected. "Doctor, how about that trip that you offered me?"
He clapped his hands and spun about the controls. "Right you are, Martha Jones! One thank you trip coming right up. When would you like to go?"
"Future. No! Past. Past."
Tanya raised her hand. "Hey, wait a minute! I helped too!"
The Doctor looked at her contemplatively. "You, Tanya Gonzalez, are absolutely right. You can have next go."
Martha scoffed. "But that means she gets two trips and I only get one!"
He groaned. "I knew this was a bad idea."
Tanya grimaced, backtracking. "'Ey, none of that. We go to the past and we have fun and we don't think about it."
The Doctor jumped up. "Yes, exactly! Let's go to the past and not bicker amongst ourselves, yeah?"
Martha and Tanya grinned. "Yes, sir!"
He pulled a lever with his foot and pushed a button with his hand whilst pulling some kind of pump. "Oh, don't do that. I'm the Doctor, not the General."
Tanya smirked, holding onto the railing as the ship jerked. "I'm a doctor, too, Doctor. You ain't special."
Martha snorted from beside her before covering her mouth at the Doctor's affronted expression. "Whoops."
The ship shook and tilted in the opposite direction as before and Tanya almost slammed into the console, grabbing onto it with one hand and Martha with the other. "Either this ship is broken or you never got your license!"
The Doctor grinned sheepishly. "Where's the fun in knowing what you're doing?"
Martha looked at him incredulously. "That makes me feel the opposite of safe, Doctor."
Tanya nodded. "Seconded."
The TARDIS jerked to a halt and they all smiled. Tanya gestured for Martha to do the honors.
Martha bounced out and looked to the Doctor, who nodded, and then she ran to the door and pushed it open. "Where are we? Wait, when are we?"
Tanya and the Doctor followed her, grinning. "Oh, getting used to the lingo already?"
Martha grinned.
Tanya looked around and grabbed one of Martha's arms while the Doctor grabbed the other, pulling her out of the path of the contents of a chamber pot. "Watch out."
Martha grimaced and stepped around the fallen sewage. "Thanks."
"No problem."
Martha suddenly turned to the Doctor in alarm. "Wait, is it safe for us to be here?"
The Doctor glanced at her. "Hm? Course. Why wouldn't it be?"
Martha exchanged a look with Tanya. "We're not exactly white, Doctor."
Tanya piped up. "Also, we're women wearing pants."
Martha looked even more panicked than before.
The Doctor smiled reassuringly. "You're fine, both of you. All you need to do is walk like you belong here."
Martha nodded and seemed to calm down a bit.
Tanya looked him up and down. "Is that how you get away with wearing sneakers before toilets were invented?"
Martha stifled a laugh.
The Doctor looked affronted. "One more crack like that, young lady, and you won't get to see the play."
Martha and Tanya exchanged a glance. "What play?"
The Doctor nodded in front of them and they finally saw their destination.
The Globe Theater.
Tanya felt herself Cheshire grin. "No—"
Martha joined her, staring at the theater in awe. "Bleedin'—"
The Doctor smiled smugly from beside them. "Way."
Tanya let out an elated shriek before she could stop herself, gaining the concerned look of a passing man.
The Doctor waved him off. "She's excitable."
The man leered. "I bet she is."
Tanya rolled her eyes, some of her happiness dampened. "Suck my dick, good sir."
Martha started cackling and the man choked on air as the Doctor hurried the girls away, the man seeming to forget that they were there in the first place the farther they went.
The Doctor tried to look at the two girls disapprovingly, though his lips kept twitching. "Tanya, was that really necessary?"
Tanya nodded. "Yes."
The Doctor stared at her some more before chuckling. "That settles that, I suppose."
Martha was bent at the waist. "His—face—!"
The Doctor nodded. "Yes, it was rather unpleasant, wasn't it?"
Tanya smirked bitterly. "Apparently, men are the same in any century."
"Oi!"
"Oh, you don't count, Alien Boy."
The Doctor didn't know whether to take this as a compliment or not.
Martha finally calmed down and saw the theater again. She smiled coyly. "Doctor Smith?"
"Martha Jones?"
She smiled. "Doctor Gonzalez?"
"Martha Jones?"
Martha offered both of them her arms. "Would you like to see a play with me?"
Tanya linked their arms immediately. "It would be my pleasure."
The Doctor followed suit, pouting slightly. "I was gonna ask first."
Martha patted his hand. "You'll live."
The trio tried not to run to the theater.
