A/N: And with this chapter I up the rating...I'm not sure where the line is drawn, but to me this is more explicit. P.S. I'm terrible at writing smut, so forgive the awkwardness, but I hope you enjoy this despite my shortcomings!
HERS
She felt his breath, hot on her neck. The moisture of his kisses seemed to lie like fire upon her skin. She felt alive in his arms. The smooth touch of his fingers rolled gently down her body. This is what she wanted, what she had been waiting for. Her body ached for him.
She heard his voice say, "Don't worry. Everyone has a first time. I promise I'll be gentle." It was soothing and she was nervous. It was her first time, and she really didn't want him to know, but it wasn't something she could hide at a moment like this. She opened her eyes to see clear brown eyes looking down at her, like the color of tea, and equally as comforting.
"I love you, Kaidan." The words flowed from her mouth as if she had been saying them her whole life. He smiled down at her as he maneuvered his body to join them together. She closed her eyes in anticipation of the sensation of union, and his lips met hers. This is like a dream.
Shepard sat up in her bed. She was alone. She felt the flush in her face as she tried to calm her body. Her omni-tool said it had only been 3 hours since she went to bed. She got up and walked to the bathroom, thinking some cold water on her face should help. As she left her quarters, she was relieved to see that Kaidan's workstation was empty. When did I start calling him by his first name?
Shepard admitted to herself that she hadn't been able to get the night at Flux out of her mind, but she knew the implications of getting involved with a fellow soldier, let alone a subordinate. They were assigned together now, but who knows what would come in a few months? A soldier's life isn't guaranteed for 24 hours, and it didn't matter if he did care about her. It would be better to not get involved than to lose him should the worst happen. Hell, he could die just like Jenkins.
She reached the bathroom and it was locked and occupied. As she leaned against the bulkhead to wait, the door slid open. Right there stood Kaidan Alenko. Their eyes met. Shepard felt like a rumpled mess in her standard issue sweats and bedhead. Kaidan, on the other hand, was magnificent. His black hair was damp, and he smelled lightly of soap. He was rubbing a towel across his face, and she could tell he had just shaved.
Much as she tried, she couldn't escape his gaze. His eyes brought back every feeling from her dream that she was trying to escape. A flush crept back upon her face. With a quick, "Alenko," she bolted to the bathroom and jumped into the coldest shower she could stand.
HIS
Kaidan stepped out of the bathroom only to be met by the deep green eyes of Shepard. This time she didn't immediately look away, as she had been doing for days since their dance at Flux. Her gaze lingered, and he saw some color appear on her face. He opened his mouth to say something, and Shepard ran to the bathroom and locked the door.
He hated how he had let his body take over when she was close to him. It had been the invisible elephant in the room every time they were in the same part of the ship. He could have sworn he saw Ash whispering to Joker during lunch yesterday. He knew they were talking about Shepard and him.
Mental chastisement was something Kaidan knew well. A soldier had to have a disciplined mind as well as body. But I let it all go at Flux. I might as well have put up a big neon sign saying "Shepard, I want your body," and had a bed in the middle of the club. Most of the time, his mind was able to overcome his struggles, but this time was different.
Kaidan reached his sleeping pod and climbed in. The shade darkened and he knew he was alone with his thoughts. He had been exhausted, and was grateful when he finally finished his work and got a quick shower before bed. Shepard changed that. His mind was alight with thoughts of her.
He thought back to how she looked in the hall by the bathroom. Standard issue sweats, the shirt draped to one side showing one bare shoulder, meaning she wasn't wearing a bra. Kaidan's throat tightened at the thought. He imagined sliding that shirt over her head and exposing her breasts. Then he couldn't control it anymore, and he let his mind started playing out a scenario.
Shepard straightened up and stared directly into his eyes. "Kaidan, I need you. Now," she said breathlessly as she closed the distance between them. She pushed him back into the bathroom, and locked the door. He grabbed her body and their mouths crushed together in passion. A slight gasp of surprise and pleasure escaped from her lips. Her hands ran through his hair and his slid up under her shirt, feeling the smooth skin of her back. Their lips separated and Shepard quickly ducked out of her shirt leaving it on Kaidan's hands.
He dropped the shirt and pulled his own off in one fluid motion. Shepard pressed her bare chest to his, and their lips met again. Wandering hands met with more items of clothing that were promptly removed. Now he was naked and she was only wearing a pair of regulation gray underwear.
"Come on." Shepard turned on the shower and stepped into the water. Water rolled provocatively over every curve on her body. Kaidan pinned her against the wall, water flowing over both of them. His right hand slid down the slope of her hips and his thumb caught the waist of her underwear, pulling them gently down. He looked down and her and she at him, her eyes full of desire. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he lifted her, pulling her legs around his waist, her back still against the wall. He couldn't wait any more.
"Do it, Kaidan," she pleaded.
"Oh God, Shepard," as he slid into her.
"Don't call me Shepard. Call me…..Call me…."
"Goddamnit!" Kaidan hissed in his sleeping pod. "I don't even know her first name!"
He rolled onto his stomach and tried to ignore the pleadings of the rest of his body.
