Number of words: 4,604

Published date: October 21, 2012

Began chapter: October 18, 2012

Finished chapter: October 20, 2012


Chapter 12: Warning

"Hey, Win. It's me. Sorry I'm a little late in calling, it's just that we've been really busy. How are you doing? Is everything alright at home?"

Ed's voice, drifting up the stairs to where Envy stood on the landing with head cocked at the perfect angle to eavesdrop, paused momentarily to allow the person on the other end to answer.

'Win'… Now why is that name familiar? Win. Hmm… Oh, that's right! The Pipsqueak's little girly friend! What was her name again? Winfred? Winnie? Something like that.

"Yeah, we're coming back tomorrow. Should get in sometime in the afternoon." A pause. "Haha, very funny. You can't believe I'm actually letting you know to expect me beforehand." Ed's tone was sarcastic but good-natured. "You don't need to be like that. I'm much better about that now! Besides, I'd hope getting a wrench in the head would train anybody-"

Ed cut off and Envy briefly heard a woman's voice speaking. Though he couldn't make out any words, Win sounded indignant. Ed's laughter, either at what she was saying or at her tone in general, drifted up the stairs to him.

"Yeah, the transmutation went fine," Ed responded to an unheard question. "Selim's a natural. I'm sorry that we've been gone for so long, but… Uh-huh, timing and all that… No, I wouldn't dream of boring you with the technical details. Just like you wouldn't dream of boring me with the technical details of automail!"

Another pause as Ed laughed again, indicating that he'd been teasing, and another brief snippet of indignant woman on the other end of the line. Envy darted a look down the hallway in both directions, then leaned as much as he dared over the railing, hooking a foot around a post for extra security to keep from falling over the edge. He wasn't being careful because he couldn't heal now; he wouldn't have wanted to fall either way. Pain sucked even if you did heal right after.

"The university called? Twice? I told them I would be away… You told them when I would be back, right? … Yeah, I don't know. They're becoming more pushy lately. I'm going to have to do something about that. It's probably because Al is such a push-over and they're used to dealing with him, so they think I'm the same way… Well, yeah, I enjoy lecturing too, but they can't just call and expect me to come running…"

Interesting, Envy thought. I guess the Pipsqueak's working at a university now. That actually sounded like a good place for him. Wasn't there a saying about how those who knew, did, and those who couldn't do, taught? If Edward couldn't perform alchemy but still had all of his knowledge, what else could he do but teach?

"Oh, I almost forgot! I had to take a trip to Rush Valley- Oh, no reason. Mr. Garfiel says hi. He said you haven't called in a while. And can you please tell him to stop calling me 'cutie'? It's damn uncomfortable! … I know, and I don't care if he's like that with everyone, we're married now and it's not-"

Envy briefly zoned out as the exchange became boring. He vaguely remembered Rush Valley as the place where this Win person had worked. Automail apprentice, if memory served.

Wrath had filled him in on the whole using-Ed's-childhood-friend-as-a-hostage situation, and Envy had volunteered to don his Second Lieutenant Striker disguise and drive down to the backwater town to bring her to Central, where he had handed her off to the Chimeras to escort her the rest of the way to Briggs. The chance to see the girl and secretly laugh at how holding her in their hands forced the Fullmetal Alchemist into compliant obedience… How could he pass that up? He hadn't said much – What was the point of talking to her? She was just a leash for Fullmetal – and the little blonde hadn't chatted either, instead opting to stare out the window with a line of worry marring her pretty little forehead. Stupid thing. What was the excuse for bringing her to the North? That Ed needed an automail upgrade because his regular automail wasn't equipped for the cold? So she was worried over whether or not he'd got frostbite, with absolutely no idea that she was a hostage. Ha! It was too rich! He'd barely been able to keep a straight face when she'd thanked him for the ride, leaving immediately for their lair to tell Gluttony because he had to tell someone and Wrath had never seen the humour in kicking the humans just for fun and he'd really wished Lust was still there instead because Gluttony didn't really get it either-

Envy snapped out of his sweet reminiscing when they switched topics again.

"… Sure, put him on the phone… Hey there, sport! What's up?"

Ed's voice paused and Envy puzzled over who 'sport' could be. Alphonse was here, so who else would be living at his home? Seemed weird that they'd have another houseguest if they were married…

"… Wow, that big? Really? You let it go, right?" Ed chuckled and Envy continued to be puzzled. Pipsqueak's voice had changed in tone and he had a hard time placing the difference. But he knew he'd heard the same thing before somewhere. Kind of… light-hearted? He wished he could see Edward's face, as it might have helped him place it. Frowning, he leaned a little farther over the railing in order to hear better.

"… Is that right? Well, listen, kiddo, I'll be back sometime tomorrow afternoon, so you can tell me all about it then, all right? Put your mother back on the phone for me."

The words clicked and Envy nearly toppled over the banister.

'Put your mother back on the phone.'

The Fullmetal Pipsqueak wasn't just married.

He had a son.

"Hi again, Winry… Yeah, he just told me. When did he catch something like that? Though I guess we did the same things at his age-"

Envy stopped paying attention to the words as Ed's wife came back on the line, listening only to his tone of voice. Again, there were the subtle changes that he hadn't been able to put his finger on before but which he could now place.

Affection.

Warmth.

Happiness.

They were the same emotions that Hughes had had. That was where he'd heard them before: When Hughes had sat near him in the cafeteria or he'd passed the man on the phone, Envy hadn't been able to help overhearing the disgustingly syrupy way Hughes spoke, shoving photos of his lovely wife and adorable daughter under unwelcome noses, bragging about his perfect family without ever realizing how… Ugh, how damn sickening it was!

And now Fullmetal had that too.

His hand clenched like a vice around the railing. An old, familiar feeling wormed its way through his stomach and up into his chest, twisting his mouth and bringing bile to the back of his throat.

He'd shot Hughes and now Envy wished he could do it again. The infuriating man had been so… so inconsiderate! Meddlesome! Blinded by stupid feelings! He had died for what? Love? Idiot! He had been so… human! Scum of the scum! On a par with Fullmetal! One death wasn't enough for someone so repulsive! As if humans actually cared about each other! As if they weren't really just miserable, selfish worms only concerned about their own skins! As if-

His internal rant cut off mid-sentence. Because he remembered. He remembered those apparently final moments, Edward Elric's final words to him.

Humans are supposed to be so much weaker than you Homunculi, and yet we still stand up to the challenge again and again. Those who are around us pick us back up. And…

You're envious of humans like that.

No. No, that's not true! Envy thought desperately. I'm not… I can't be… This isn't jealousy, it's… it's… something else! It's justified! Just because I hate them and think they're pathetic doesn't mean…

Yes. It does. That's exactly what it means.

"Envy? Something wrong? You look-"

"I'm fine," he snarled at the former alchemist, who had apparently finished his phone conversation and made it upstairs without Envy noticing, which only served to worsen his mood.

Pulling himself from his thoughts back to the real world, however, Envy saw that Ed clearly didn't believe him. He quickly schooled his face to a neutral expression, but the young man's golden eyes didn't budge, studying him with a disconcerting blend of concern and scepticism. Stubbornly, Envy held the look and placed his hands challengingly on his hips, waiting for Ed to pursue the matter (in which case, he'd be a fool for wasting his time) or lose interest.

They continued the staring contest for a few moments, and then Ed shook his head slightly and sighed and turned away, starting to head down the hall.

"You told her about us?"

Envy's words caught Ed up short, and Envy was a little surprised himself that he'd spoken.

"You were eavesdropping, huh?" Ed asked, turning to give the former shape-shifter a hard look. Envy allowed a mocking smile to creep across his face and Ed appeared to realize that he shouldn't have been surprised by the spying. Perhaps, knowing Envy's former occupation, he held half the blame for not being more careful if he wanted privacy.

Ed visibly weighed his response before answering. "… No. I just told her that we were doing an experiment that involved the lunar eclipse. Winry doesn't know that Selim was a Homunculus; she thinks we've taken him as an apprentice for Madam Bradley's sake. And she doesn't need to know about… this. It'd be too hard to explain it to her anyway."

Envy let his grin grow wider, leaning back against the railing in an adoption of nonchalance.

"Keeping secrets from your wife? Tsk-tsk," he chided. "I thought you'd be better than that."

Ed didn't say anything. Compulsively, Envy kept talking to fill the silence.

"But she's a nice girl, isn't she? And did I hear that right? You've got a kid now? Well, isn't that just… sweet." He chewed out the word so sarcastically that it might as well have been a curse. "Our little Fullmetal Pipsqueak's all growed up. You used to be so cute and spitfire. Ah, and I never got any cute little pictures to stick in my photo album! What a shame."

Envy started to chuckle, but the noise died on his lips as Ed continued to stand there, staring at him silently, allowing the jibes to roll off him like water on a leaf.

What will it take to get a rise out of him? There's got to be some button I can press.

And the most annoying part was Ed's expression. He looked… thoughtful. His eyes were introspective, as if he was listening not to Envy's words, but to something else. Was it just his imagination, or was there the slightest tinge of pity there?

"Must be nice," he continued in his lightest, breeziest voice. "You got everything you wanted. Acted as the hero and saved the country. Beat the bad guys. Got you and your brother's bodies back. Have a family now. The hero won and now lives happily ever after. That's what you humans believe, isn't it? Well, certainly looks like the case here. You even get to play all-forgiving deity with us." He watched the unspoken protest on Ed's face at that, but didn't allow him to voice it, and began studying his nails to further add to the affection that his words were of no real consequence. "Hardly seems fair. But then again, if you have everything, the only thing left is to lose what you have."

Had he been too subtle?

Envy flicked his eyes surreptitiously to the side to study Ed's face and watch the changes in his expression, and internally smirked. The tight feeling in his chest twisted and coiled in pleasure.

Oh, no. He knows exactly what I meant.

The golden-haired young man went from oddly thoughtful to blankly confused and then to slowly dawning anger. His jaw tightened and red flushed up into his face. His fists clenched at his sides.

Envy was just starting to congratulate himself on having finally gotten a reaction when Ed took a step towards him. In the blink of an eye, far too quickly for Envy to react, Ed was there in front of him, hands shooting out to grab him by the collar, pulling him up into his face, forcing him to meet Ed's fierce gold eyes.

Fool. If I wanted you dead, all I'd have to do is change my arm and drive it through your chest-

But no: He couldn't shape-shift anymore.

Crap! Envy thought, suddenly frantic as it dawned on him that he'd pushed too far, had crossed a line and didn't have the ability to fight back. His back was pressed against the railing and the drop to the first floor suddenly loomed as a far more dangerous fall than it had seemed before. And though he had studied Edward's body in an academic way earlier, the six years now made a much greater difference. Ed's arms were stronger, shoulders broader, height now seeming to tower over him even though he was really no more than a head taller than Envy. Comparatively, Envy's body was weaker than it had ever been. Scrawny, wiry, he could still land a few blows, could still put up a struggle, but he was no match for Fullmetal like this and both of them knew it.

"Listen carefully, Envy," Ed bit out, the anger in his voice tightly reined and all the more intimidating than his childish tantrums of before. "Don't. You. Dare. Don't you dare even think about hurting my family!"

Envy didn't waste his time trying to struggle out of Ed's grip. The feeling, sickening and horrible and yet oh so familiar to him that he couldn't remember not feeling it, distorted his face into his own snarl of bared teeth and furious eyes.

"Let go of me!" he growled.

It didn't faze Ed in the slightest.

"I want to make something very clear to you: I haven't forgotten what you've done, and I haven't forgiven it. The Ishvalan Civil War, Hughes…" Ed's arm trembled for a moment. "They're not forgiven. Selim said you're here because you can change and I get that you were following your father's orders and everything, but I don't mind telling you that I stood against bringing you back more than any of the others. In fact, if there'd been any choice in the matter, I wouldn't have allowed it. The only reason you're alive and getting this second chance is because we needed five. Five was the magic number to make the transmutation work. The quinary array to tie your souls to Selim's Stone would have fallen apart if we didn't bring back all five of you. So you don't just have us and Selim and Ms. Bradley to thank for being here; we couldn't let you hold your siblings back from getting a second chance. It wouldn't have been fair. Though I suppose it would have been typical for what you are."

The words were like a whiplash across his face. It was one thing for them to be true, but quite another for the principled alchemist to be taking such low shots. He'd never have expected Ed to rub dirt into a wound like this.

Stunned by the blunt cruelty of what he was hearing, Envy's snarl fell from his face and Ed, seeing that Envy was actually listening to and understanding his words, released his hold on the Homunculus's shirt and stepped back. His initial anger was already dissipating, returning to reserved and pensive. Again, Envy thought he saw a hint of pity in Ed's eyes, but surely he was just seeing things. This was hardly the situation for pity.

"I get it; I do. In a way, you couldn't help being the way you were any more than Gluttony could help being hungry or Greed could help being greedy. But to say that you were forced to act out of jealousy is just an excuse. The fact is that you were cruel and sadistic and enjoyed every bit of pain you caused, and even if you can change, I'm not convinced that you deserve the chance."

Now it was Envy's turn to clench his fists, to feel his face start to burn with rage, to want to lash out and grab the alchemist and spit in his face. It was pity! The damn human was pitying him!

"Shut up!" he hissed. "Shut up! You don't- You don't have the right to talk about us like that! Like you know-"

Ed ignored him, overrode his words as if he couldn't hear him.

"But you're here and alive again, and I really do hope that you can change. I don't want to have to kill you." The pity left Ed's eyes. He barely gave Envy enough time to register shock before his voice and expression hardened mercilessly. "But if you try to hurt my family, try to threaten them, even try to meet them or talk to them… If you kill or hurt anyone, I won't hesitate to stop you. In whatever way is necessary."

There was no mistaking what Ed meant when he said that.

They stared at each other.

Neither moved. Neither blinked.

And then Envy began to laugh.

He laughed and laughed and didn't even care if there was a tinge of mania to it, because Fullmetal had really had him going, and here he'd been taking him so seriously too, and if only the poor boy hadn't made that mistake, he might have believed him!

"Sorry, Pipsqueak!" he managed once he caught his breath. "I just can't believe you'd try to lie to me like that!"

Ed was completely thrown off by his reaction. "I'm not lyi-"

"Oh, right! Suuure," Envy mocked, putting a hand on his hip and pointing a finger at Fullmetal. "You expect me to believe that you'll kill me? When you couldn't kill the Slicer brothers, you couldn't shoot me even to save your friend, and you even refused to kill Pride! And Kimblee was quite happy to divulge your cute little resolve to not take life!"

"Kimblee did? When did he-"

"Who cares? What matters is that your bluff is quite exemplary – Really, I'm impressed! And that's coming from a much greater liar than you'll ever be! – but you should have considered who you were trying to trick here!"

He started to laugh again. Although, as he thought about it, it was kind of insulting that Ed had thought he'd fall for it so easily. Why did everyone think he was an idiot? He'd done tons of smart things: He'd taken Hughes' wife's form to kill him, and for what he'd been doing, he was quite proud of that sudden burst of inspiration. He'd been the one responsible for Ishval, and even though pulling the trigger hadn't been at all difficult, choosing the victim and setting and timing that would create the greatest reaction had been up to him, and that had required some thought beforehand. He'd been the one with the clever idea, when they'd been worried about the activities of the 5th Laboratory being discovered, to use the researchers to create another Stone. Geez, why did no one give credit where credit was due?

He didn't see the anger and sudden resolve on Ed's face.

In his mirth, he was too distracted to counter what came next.

Ed moved quickly and skilfully. In one swift, sweeping motion, he ducked down, put a hand on the floor, and threw his left leg out straight under Envy's legs.

Envy didn't see the attack coming and he suddenly discovered that Ed hadn't gotten his whole body back (The automail leg was like being smacked by a crowbar and it damn well hurt!), but his reflexes were good enough to keep him from sprawling on his back and at his opponent's mercy. Halfway down on his hands and knees, he cursed and tried to scramble up in time to meet whatever came next, but he didn't have the chance.

Ed came up behind him, grabbed his arm, and twisted it behind his back in a way that sent pain shooting through the limb. He tried to pull away, but that only made the pain worse.

"Ow, ow, ow! What the hell are you doing?! Let go of me!"

"You think I'm bluffing?" Ed demanded harshly. "That I won't kill you if I have to? Then maybe I need to make you see just how serious I am."

Twisted around the way he was, Envy couldn't see what Ed was doing, and Ed couldn't see the vicious snarl on Envy's face as he struggled again to free himself, biting down on his tongue to keep from admitting to the pain, throwing his leg back in a poor attempt to catch Ed in a vulnerable spot and force him to release his grip.

I don't care about the consequences; he can't do this to me and get away with it! I'm going to kill him for this! No. His family. His family'll be way worse! He thinks his life is so good, I'll-

He didn't get a chance to finish that train of thought.

Ed's hand came down in a quick chopping motion onto the back of Envy's neck and, at the same time, he released his grip on Envy's arm.

Fireworks exploded before his eyes. His stomach writhed and churned and tried to go up and down simultaneously. His legs suddenly turned to water underneath him and, without Ed holding him, Envy collapsed to the floor like a dead body.

What… What happened? How did he…? What did he do?

He coughed and gasped for breath and struggled to get up, but it felt as if someone had just raked every nerve in his body. His muscles were useless; he couldn't move them, could barely get them to twitch. Breathing was hard. He couldn't move his head, but his eyes were still under his control and he looked up and there was Fullmetal standing over him, looming over him, and he looked a lot bigger from the ground like this.

It was the same position he'd been in before: At his enemy's mercy, defenceless on the ground, humiliated. But unlike the last time, there was no sympathy in Ed's eyes.

This was a lesson, and he wanted to make sure Envy learned it.

"Do you understand?" His words were hard to hear; his ears weren't picking sound up right, as if the radio wire wasn't plugged in all the way. "You're not just vulnerable because of Selim and the Stone. You have a second weakness."

The feeling of raked nerves was starting to fade. Envy tried to move his limbs again and found that they responded. Not completely, but enough to let him push himself up weakly onto his hands and knees. To lift his head so that he could look Fullmetal straight in the face.

With the fading of the attack's effect came hatred: white-hot, livid, burning hatred. The coiled feeling in his chest reared and screamed, Don't look down on me! and Envy would have said it, would have screamed it for the whole house to hear, he didn't care, but Ed was still speaking.

"I don't want you to take this as a threat. You're not a prisoner here, or a slave. You can choose your own actions; you're a person too even if you're not completely human, and I'm not so arrogant as to dictate your life.

"But I'm not a child anymore. Six years is a long time for a person to change. Do you really want to bet that I'm bluffing on the hope that I'm the same person I was when you last knew me? It's your choice, but I promise you: If you start to drift back to your old ways, I'll tear you off your own neck and kill you myself."

Staring into Ed's face, staring at the stony cold set in his jaw and the utter lack of apology in his eyes, Envy believed him.

It didn't matter. It didn't change anything. His jealousy was still there, still tearing inside his chest, clambering to hurt this man who had friends, a loving family, happiness – everything – and it wasn't fair! Why did he have it all? What had he done to deserve it? It wasn't fair!

I want it too! I want what they have!

And, as if reading his mind (or maybe his thoughts were plain to see on his face; Envy could barely see anything through the chaos in his mind, hadn't even thought to try to hide them; the emotions were too strong to be bothered by such a small thing), Ed said one final thing to him:

"If you're jealous of the way humans help each other, of friends and family, then why not work at conquering that? You can't get those things by taking them away from others. You can only get them by being a good person. This is the perfect place to learn. Selim and Ms. Bradley already care about you; they'll teach you if you let them. I'm not asking you to just jump in with a bunch of strangers and fake what you don't feel, but… Just try. I said I didn't know if you deserve a second chance, but you've got one and you might as well make the best of it. Anyone can change. You don't have to be jealous."

I don't…? I don't have to be jealous? What does that even feel like? How can you know you're right? What if I try and it doesn't make any difference? What if-

But he didn't ask any of it. He didn't say anything, and Ed left him there.

To recover and calm down.

To think.

To consider.

And maybe, just maybe, to accept.


"I can't believe you did that, Brother."

"I had to. He thought I was bluffing. I had to prove that I wasn't."

"… But you were."

"No, I wasn't. I mean it: I'll do whatever it takes to stop him from hurting anyone."

"Including killing him?"

"…"

"You know you can't do it, Brother."

"… But what if I have to? What if there's no other way to protect them?"

"You still won't."

"… Fine. You're right. What would you do then?"

"I don't know. I'd have to figure it out in the moment. But I know I wouldn't kill him either."

"Well, as long as he thinks I meant it, hopefully it'll never come to that… and hopefully, he'll take this chance to change things."

"I think he will."

"Yeah, but that's no surprise, coming from you. You're such an optimist!"

"… I think he will because I'm sure he doesn't want to be the way he is any more than we do. I can't even imagine feeling that way. Imagine, being jealous all the time… Surely no one wants that."

"Mmm… Well, I guess it's not up to us. It's up to Selim and Ms. Bradley now to help him change. And, in the end, whether a person changes or not is up to them. If Envy wants to change, he's got to do it himself."


Author's Notes:

Envy's experience with Winry: My proposition that Envy met Winry when she traveled from Rush Valley to Fort Briggs is not a part of canon in either the anime or manga, but it seemed like Envy knew Zampano. If he knew Zampano, he probably knew the other Chimeras, and if that was the case, he must have met them somehow. Why not when dumping Winry off on them to take her to Briggs?