I can say that I do own the non SoN-characters featured in the chapter! I don't own SoN though.
46.1 - Feeling The Heartache
Sammy's PoV
The Carlin house was silent after Spencer had walked away from the heated argument between her and Alex. Ashley had slowly made her way back upstairs and was dressed fully clothed, waving bye to us and taking off with a bouncy Dylan.
Alex and Tracey had left right after Spencer left the kitchen. Ryn and Tristan left as well, simply because Tristan had to work later that morning and he wanted breakfast.
I stood there in the kitchen, watching Carmen make coffee and not meeting my gaze. "Hey," I whispered and she blinked slowly, her eyes flickering to mine with a soft look, "if I upset you, I didn't mean too."
"You didn't." Carmen smiled and shrugged. "I just feel bad that this family has been ripped to shreds." I nodded and looked down at my feet. I felt her hands cup my face and she smiled. "No regrets about last night?" She had a playful grin back in place.
"No." I breathed and she moved to kiss me softly before stepping back.
"I need to make a few important phone calls and then I promised Spence I'd have lunch with her and Luc, would you like to join us?" Her grey eyes sparkled and I returned her smile, nodding. "Did you want me to drop you off at the hotel so you can change?"
"Please." I grinned and she kissed me again before running upstairs to tell Spencer we were leaving.
It took a good twenty minutes to get to the hotel I was staying at and Carmen dropped me off, saying she had to go back and talk to Spencer before getting to her phone calls. I nodded and smiled when she kissed me before I hopped out of the rented Camero and into the hotel lobby.
Thinking that maybe I could at least get some research done before heading back to New Zealand in a month's time, I quickly made my way up to my room. I stopped dead in my tracks when I noticed another raven-haired woman standing by my door. "Alex," I frowned and had a flash of déjà vu from the day before when Carmen was standing in that exact same spot.
"Hey," she waved a little unsure of herself and I opened the door to my room, allowing her to step inside.
"Where's Tracey?"
Alex stopped at the edge of the bed before sitting down and shrugging. "I think she needed to be alone, went to grab us a bite to eat."
I nodded slowly and dropped my card key on the desk and smiled when I glanced at the rose resting perfectly in the makeshift vase.
"You and Carmen…" She started and stopped when I turned around to look at her, raising an eyebrow. "I'm not jealous," she said seriously.
"Well good," I frowned a little and sat in the far chair, folding my hands in my lap and shrugging, "even if you were…"
"Sam," Alex sighed, "I'm not. I'm more concerned than anything."
"I'm a big girl." I smiled.
"But Carmen… I just… I don't like the way she treats women. What if she cheats on you?" Her eyebrow raised in concern.
"So once a cheater, always a cheater?" I raised my own eyebrow, looking at her with my head tilted. "People change."
"I'm sorry." Alex sighed heavily and rubbed her face. "I didn't come here for that. I mean, as long as you're happy and Carmen is good to you, I just… I'm sorry."
"It's okay." I remained where I was and leaned forward a bit. "So, what did you come here for?"
"Why'd you stick up for me?" She asked quietly. "You really didn't have to do that, Sam. I mean, I'm grateful you did, but what benefit do you get out of it?"
"You're one of my best friends, Alexis," I frowned slightly, "and I think I made a valid point."
"You did," Alex laughed sarcastically and shook her head, "thank you but I don't think it did any good."
"What exactly were you expecting?" I asked, standing up. "I was your girlfriend back then and even I didn't know Ashley came back for Spencer."
It was true.
"Were you in love with her?" I finally asked her. A question I had wanted to ask for the longest time but never found the nerve.
"What?" Her confused eyes stared back at me. "Who?"
"Ashley." I said softly. I wasn't upset at all. "It makes sense you know, if you wanted her to yourself…"
"Samantha!" Alex stood up abruptly and scowled. "I have never ever been in love with her."
"Then why? I mean, why all the sneaky lies? Why not tell Spencer about Ashley coming back for her? Why get upset when Spencer made a mistake and slept with a guy? Why stick by Ashley's side when she was pregnant? Why run off to B.C.?"
"You want to know why I stuck by Ashley's side during her pregnancy?" Alex remained calm. "Because I was selfish. I felt guilty for the way I was treating Spencer and wanted to right that being there for Ashley."
I blinked and frowned. "Alex, what?"
"I know! It was stupid and selfish reason. I- I can't help it Sammy. All of these situations get so sticky and I don't know how to get myself out of them other than bailing. Music has been my escape literally and it's just not right." I saw the sorrow in her eyes but I didn't feel any other emotion.
"I really don't know what to say." I whispered. "This is all between you three now, but you really need to patch things up with your sister first." I stressed. "You screwed her over, Alexis, big time. I don't blame her for being so angry."
Alex just stood there and stared at me. Her fists clenched a little before she licked her lips. "Am I really that horrible?"
"You've changed. You used to be the girl everyone would run to with their problems. You were the first one to try everything in your willpower to fix it and now? You're the woman everyone is trying to run from and your willpower sucks because you do not want to fix things the right way." I sighed softly and moved to pat her on the shoulder. "I'm not here to dig you out of this. That ship had sailed a long time ago and I said what I had to say this morning. This is up to you."
Alex's grey eyes darkened with sadness and she nodded, closing them before bowing her head and turning around.
I sighed heavily and realized my mood for working on the research was put off. Instead, I opted for a hot shower instead.
--
Lucas' PoV
I scanned the café and then frowned as my mother looked past my shoulder, staring out at the gloomy cold day. I picked at my salad and then bit my lip, not sure if I should bring up the fact that I heard yelling earlier that morning. Mom seemed more upset than usual and I didn't even get a chance to have breakfast with Dylan, since Ashley had plans already.
"Are you not hungry?" Her voice was light as if she were trying to hide her sorrow from me. It didn't work though, but I never let her know that.
"It's good, just waiting for Aunt Carm." I shrugged and bit into a crisp carrot, sighing as her eyes went back out towards the window. "Mom?" I finally sighed and she frowned in concern.
"What's wrong Luc?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing." I raised an eyebrow and put down my fork. I could act childish sometimes because I was a kid still, but I was raised smart. Most of my teachers wanted me to skip a grade, but I'd miss my friends too much – and everyone said for an eleven year old, I was too young to pick up on others moods.
"Lucas Evelyn, what do you mean?" Finally her eyes twitched into a playful gaze and it made me happy. "I've just had a rough morning."
"Oh," I frowned, "did you and Ashley get in a fight?"
My mom's eyes widened and quickly shook her head. "No no baby, nothing like that," she studied me for a moment and then closed her eyes, "your Aunt Alex is back in town."
Oh.
It didn't surprise me so much that there was arguing then. I was too young to know exactly what was going on, but I did know enough to understand that my mom wasn't very happy – and probably with good reason.
"Lucas," she whispered and I looked up at her, "I wouldn't worry about it okay?"
"Are you going to kick her out of town?" I asked, frowning. Mom smiled and shook her head 'no'. "Is Ashley?"
"No, Alex isn't going anywhere."
"Okay." I nodded and then we heard the bell sound from the front doors. A burst of cold wind came in and I turned to find Aunt Carmen and Sammy laughing while holding hands. I grinned. "Lovers!"
"Lucas!" My mom hissed at me and I just shrugged.
"Well where's your lover? Not working?" Aunt Carmen patted my head with her cold hand and I smacked it away. "Feisty little one, ain't she?"
I hated when she'd do that!
"Don't mind her," Sammy smiled and leaned forward to kiss my cheek, "she's just grumpy because she slipped and fell where there was no ice patch."
I chuckled and Carmen threw her a warning look and shook her head.
That shut her up.
I could feel the uncomfortable feeling that started to surround us. I quickly ate my salad while the 'grown ups' talked quietly amongst themselves, stopping every so often to see if I was paying attention. I was practically invisible and for a kid who liked to be the center of attention, I was happy to not be at that point.
I never wanted to grow up.
Maybe to kiss Jaiden…
Not sure on that one yet.
I frowned when I noticed the sad look on my mother's face and grabbed my shoulder bag. "Mom?" I said quietly, careful not to interrupt. She smiled at me and waited for me to continue. "Could I go and draw a little over there?" I pointed towards an empty sofa by the black piano.
"Sure baby," she smiled and kissed my forehead when I moved to get out of the booth.
I heard them resume talking and I made myself comfortable on the loveseat, digging out my sketchpad and pencil. Some kids made fun of me at school because I was picky with the pencils I'd use. They didn't know the difference, but I did and that was what mattered.
I was so engrossed in my drawing that I never even heard someone sit down beside me. It wasn't until I felt a hand on my shoulder, making me jump and a deep scribble smeared across the paper in the process. I was about to say something not so nice when I swung my head in their direction but the words fell when I noticed a pair of blue eyes stare curiously over my shoulder. "Hadley!"
"Lucas." Her grin was fascinating as her blonde curls fell passed her shoulders while she tilted her head and pointed to my sketch. "Do you ever stop drawing?"
I blushed and closed my sketchpad slowly, not daring to look in her eyes.
"Well," her hand patted my shoulder, "I think it's cute."
"Cute?" I giggled. Just like my Aunt Carmen and mom, I didn't do cute.
"Okay," Hadley shifted and looked out the window across the street, the snow falling miserably, "I find it," her eyebrows scrunched in a cute way, "adorable?"
I melted.
"You're cute." I shoved her lightly with my shoulder and she erupted into giggles, reaching over to grab my sketchpad.
"May I?"
I swallowed hard. My sketchpad was just like any other girls journal – in fact it was more personal than my own journal. But somehow I couldn't say no. "Uh, sure."
Hadley placed the book into her lap and I watched as she scanned each picture with her blue eyes, her long eyelashes flickering every so often. "You drew these?" She whispered in an amazed tone.
"Yeah." I shrugged.
"Wow," she breathed and looked at me with a soft smile, "is this of me?"
Crap.
Bad word.
I could only nod. "You were the only interesting thing in that room."
I think she blushed and bit her lip. "My Aunt Tori is in town and she's taking me to the movies, did you want to come?"
"Oh." I felt my heart do a lurch thingy again and my palms started to sweat slightly. "Um…"
"Dylan can join us too if that's what you're worried about." Hadley whispered.
"Dyl's with her mom." I smiled and she smiled back. "I'll have to ask my mom…"
"Already on it kid." I turned around to find a tall brunette standing there with a grin that matched Hadley's. "Your mom said it was cool, just leave your bag with her. I'll drop you off at home on our way to Sunnyside."
Hadley squealed and I jumped up just as excitedly, leaving them to wait by the door. I found myself hugging my mom and whispering 'thank you' in her ear.
"You're welcome." She laughed and made sure my hat and gloves were on before stepping outside.
It was official, my mom was the coolest.
--
Next time in Points Underneath:
"Spencer." Her voice broke the silence that I wasn't even aware of. I blinked and looked at her, she looked so broken and lost and for the first time I had no clue why.
"Ash, what's wrong?" I frowned in concern.
"What would've happened if Alex told you I came back?" She whispered.
