Chapter 6: Election Day
Following an absolute disaster of a debate, Calvin and Hobbes were debriefing in Calvin's bedroom.
"Well, I'll put it this way. As your best friend, I think you have a great chance of winning the election. But as your campaign manager however, I think that whatever nonexistent chance you had before has now gone to completely impossible." Hobbes said to Calvin.
"Impossible?! They loved that performance! I could've reeled a lot more in if Susie and Moe didn't get in the way so quickly!" Calvin exclaimed.
"You do realize that there's a difference between people laughing with you and laughing at you right?" Hobbes inquired.
"Of course! And they were laughing at the fact that I was fully exposing them for who they really are and couldn't handle the pressure!" Calvin responded.
"Ironic coming from you..." Hobbes muttered under his breath.
"Still, I need to figure out a way to secure victory. I know Susie is in cahoots with Wormbrain and Spithead to the rig the election for her..." Calvin mused.
"I highly doubt that, especially given the quality of her opponents I wouldn't be surprised if she wins every single vote from the students." Hobbes remarked.
"That's no way to talk as my campaign manager! You should be helping me come up with ways in order to make sure I win tomorrow!" Calvin quickly shot back.
"There literally is nothing at this point that would help you to win the election. You can't beat them at their own game any day of the week, so what makes you think you could come up with anything at the 11th hour to win it?" Hobbes responded back.
"Beat them at their own game... THAT'S IT!" Calvin exclaimed.
Hobbes looked at Calvin confused.
"Its obvious Hobbes! If I'm gonna win the election, I just simply have to beat Susie and the school at their own game, I'll rig it for myself!" Calvin stated proudly.
"You're going to commit election fraud?! That's illegal!" Hobbes remarked.
"Its only illegal if you get caught." Calvin corrected to Hobbes.
"Still, for someone that's claimed this entire time its being rigged for Susie, only to try and rig it for yourself would not end up well. Didn't you learn anything from the last Presidential Election?!"
"That's completely different Hobbes. That orange guy was always a raving lunatic that never knew what he was talking about. I on the other hand know what I'm talking about and would be trying to right the wrongs of an election that's actually rigged!"
"You're crazy, and just how do you think you'd be able to pull it off?"
"Just wait and see fuzzbrain, wait and see... Besides, if I have enough votes to win it, then I won't have to do anything!"
"That's as likely as your attempts to rig it succeeding..."
Despite Hobbes' best efforts, Calvin was adamant about going through with his plan, all the way up to when he left for school the next morning.
"You just wait and see Hobbes, I'm gonna come home today as the new Student Council President!" Calvin said as he got on the bus.
"Only in your dreams Calvin!" Susie exclaimed as she got along with him.
At school, Calvin quickly got his books for the day and went to find the room where students would be casting their votes. After finding it, and that it was unattended, Calvin quickly went inside and looked around, he quickly found a schedule and found that all the classes would be done voting by lunch time.
"Perfect! That gives me an excuse to do it and get away from that dreadful slob!" Calvin exclaimed.
Then, he noticed that there were several ballots that had all the positions and candidates on them. Calvin quickly grabbed several of them and stuffed them inside his books and zoomed off to class.
Calvin's class however was the first to go and fill out their ballots, and Calvin was keeping a close eye on who was voting for who. Much to his annoyance, he noticed that everyone (aside from Moe and his friends) were voting for Susie for President.
As class went on throughout the morning, Calvin managed to sneakily fill out the multiple ballots that he had grabbed, and quickly began filling them out, of course filling himself out for President. He did this all without attracting notice from Miss Wormwood or his other classmates.
Soon, the bell rang for lunch, just as Calvin finished filling out the last ballot for himself and hid it away.
"Alright, enjoy lunch everyone. Reminder that this afternoon we have another assembly to announce the new Student Council for the year. See you all after lunch." Miss Wormwood said as everyone left her classroom. She noticed Calvin had a rather sinister grin on his face, but chalked it up to Calvin's deluded belief that he was going to win the election.
As the students were heading towards lunch, Calvin slipped into the restroom while everyone was heading towards the cafeteria. Once he was certain that most if not all students had gone to the cafeteria, he quietly slipped out and walked past the teachers lounge to ensure that all the teachers were in there. He leaned in on the door to see if heard anything.
"And on the question I had asking to explain what the Cold War was, he put down that it was a war fought by people trying to give colds to one another!" Miss Wormwood exclaimed, to which numerous teachers laughed.
"Philistines..." Calvin grumbled as he quickly made his way to the room where the votes had been cast, and to his relief the ballot box was still there, and unattended.
Calvin quickly sprung into action, dumping out all the ballots in the box and began sorting through them. Much to his shock and horror, there had been only a single ballot that was for him. (Which of course, was the one he voted for himself).
"Unbelievable! After all that work I put in my campaign, nobody else voted for me! I really need to convince Mom and Dad to transfer me to another school, one that actually has smart people in it!" Calvin grumbled as he went to work.
Calvin quickly grabbed a bunch of Susie's ballots and tossed them aside, and quickly stuffed all the ballots for himself into the box, as well as putting the few of Moe's in as well. Then, Calvin quickly began taking some of Susie's ballots and tossed them into the box. While he wanted to win, he knew that he'd have to make it not suspicious if he wanted to get away with his caper.
After putting another chunk of Susie's votes back in the box, Calvin quickly gathered up the remaining ballots and quickly zoomed out of the room. He then tried to go to the bathroom, planning to flush the ballots down the toilet, only to find that it was closed for cleaning.
"Darn it! Every time I'm close to achieving one of my brilliant plans something always has to come and foil it!" Calvin exclaimed angrily.
Then, Calvin noticed that right by the bathroom was the boiler room, with the door opened. Calvin quickly ran in, tossed the ballots in the back of the boiler where nobody would find them, and quickly ran out before anyone noticed him.
"Yes! I can't believe that all went to plan! Nothing went wrong, nobody saw me, and nothing could possibly prevent me from winning now!" Calvin said proudly as he skipped happily with his plan going without a hitch.
A little after Calvin had left, a few students came in to get the ballot box and began counting the votes. All went smoothly until the unthinkable realization came to fruition.
"Alright, so we got Jimmy winning by 20 for Treasurer, Lucy winning by 15 for Secretary, and Ronald winning by 7 for Vice President... what do we got for President? Susie right?" One of the kids asked as he was finishing up his tallies.
"Hold on, this can't be right..." A second kid remarked as she ran through some tallies again.
"What's the issue? Susie won in a landslide, did she not?" The first kid asked.
"Well... According to this, Moe got exactly 4 votes, Susie got 217, but Calvin somehow got 218!" The second kid exclaimed.
"Calvin?! There's no way! Are you sure you didn't miscount?" A third kid asked.
"I've ran through it a few times already, but this just seems ridiculous! There's no way that he possibly could've won! He's been horrible throughout this election!" The second kid remarked.
"Hmm... Knowing Calvin, he probably did some finagling, I'm going to see if he left a paper trail anywhere, which knowing him, he probably did." The first kid remarked as he left and started scanning every inch of the school for some ballots. But much to his shock and horror, he couldn't find anything, even after going through pretty much everywhere possible.
When he came back, panic had set into the room.
"We ran through it five more times, and he's still the winner each time!" The second kid exclaimed in a panic.
"Its impossible! There's no way Calvin could have gotten THAT many people to vote for him!" The third kid remarked.
"I don't know what else to do, I couldn't find any loose ballots anywhere, but I can't shake the feeling Calvin did something with the ballots, but we have no proof..." The first kid mused.
Just then, Mr. Lockjaw came into the room.
"Alright gang, the assembly's starting up in a few, all the winners have been clearly decided?" Mr. Lockjaw asked to the three.
"Well, all but for President. Somehow, Calvin came out the winner by a vote over Susie!" The first kid exclaimed.
"The quitter?! How?! That campaign of his was worse than his baseball skills!" Mr. Lockjaw stated in shock.
"We don't know! We've recounted it countless times and it doesn't change!" The second kid remarked.
"And there's no proof to show that he messed with it!" The third kid added in.
"Well... At that point, I'm afraid we'll have to accept the results as they are, even though its not what we've wanted..." Mr. Lockjaw said sighing.
In the auditorium, everyone was waiting patiently for the results to be announced by Principal Spittle. Calvin was waiting in his seat excited.
"Y'know Calvin, if you want to and our willing to commit to changing, you can help out with some of the events we'll plan once I'm elected." Susie offered to Calvin.
"I wouldn't worry about that Susie. I could say the same once I'm elected, that is of course, if you want to be part of what will be the start of a glorious empire..." Calvin said very confidently back to Susie. Susie simply ignored Calvin and groaned.
Then at long last, Principal Spittle came to the stage with an envelope in hand with the winners.
"Well students, thank you all for coming today. Before I announce the winners, I would like to begin by stating how great and important it is to be involved with your school and the student body. Being apart of the student council..."
Calvin groaned, he was in no mood to listening to the motivational talk of Principal Spittle's, and just wanted to get to the part where he announced the winners.
Eventually, the time came.
"...but without further ado. We shall announce our new Student Council members for this year. First off, your new Student Council Treasurer will be... Jimmy!"
Applause throughout the auditorium occurred when Jimmy was announced and he walked up on stage.
"Next, your new Student Council Secretary will be... Lucy!"
Applause throughout the auditorium again occurred when Lucy was announced and she walked up on stage.
"Your new Student Council Vice President will be... Ronald!"
More applause throughout the auditorium occurred when Ronald was announced and he walked up on stage. Calvin grumbled in disagreement.
"And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for. Your new Student Council President for this year will be Su- er, CALVIN?!"
A gasp went throughout the auditorium and went dead silent. Miss Wormwood passed out in shock. Students looked at each other in disbelief.
All of course except Calvin.
"YEAH! WOOHOO! I TOLD YOU GUYS! YES! THE BOY OF DESTINY IS HERE TO TAKE THIS SCHOOL TO NEW HEIGHTS!" Calvin exclaimed proudly as he jumped out of his set and ran up to the stage, jumping up and down in excitement. His fellow victors looked at him in disbelief.
Nobody cheered or clapped, everyone was in total shock at what happened. Calvin, after running what many viewed as one of the worst attempts at a campaign ever, was the winner? How could have it of happened?
And now even worse, what was Calvin going to do now that he was at the helm? Many began fearing about what was going to happen next, and everyone knew that they were going to be in for a wild ride.
