Eventually, the lander made it to the cruiser, or I would guess so. The entire ride was more tense than it had any right to be. I was in handcuffs the whole time so my range of motion was limited enough that doing anything wasn't really worth it.

Pretty much everyone was uncomfortable around me, visibly, and that was just sort of the norm anyways, so I don't care. And, hey, it makes sense. Everything makes sense. Well, except my luck. And what it does to people. Especially what it does to people.

Brooding occupied a fair bit of the travel.

That said, the bad thoughts did come to an end when we actually landed on the cruiser. Some guy came in, and informed us with a, "We're landed, Lord."

"Very good," the lady Inquisitor says, then stands. She points lazily towards me before getting ready to walk towards the bay door of this thing, "Let's do the standard with him. Get him up."

The standard? What, you treat everyone like this? Actually, that makes sense. Why treat me differently?

Before they have a chance to grab me, I lift myself up, saying, "I'm up, I'm up. Don't worry, I'll follow like a good little prisoner."

The guards don't seem to particularly care as they sort of let me be. Which is good, I didn't want their grubby hands on me, and because I'm a Blank, they don't want their grubby hands on me either. God, that excuse is awesome! I can pull the Blank Card any time!

I can see what looks like a gray, metallic bay of some kind outside the loading door. There were a few other planes, from the looks of it, all of which looking official and Imperial and cool and stuff. There were quite a few people running about, many in robes, some in uniforms, others in armor. It was very neat to see.

At least, as far as I got to see. I heard shuffling behind me, and a thud following the sound on the back of my damn head. Why is it always my head?


I awoke groggily, still in cuffs, but now can feel my legs were also restrained. My head is pounding, and trying to move it finds me with some heavy metal collar on me. This sucks, I'm losing more freedoms by the concussion. By the next blunt trauma I take, I'll be in a full gimp suit. The Imperium totally would, too, it's not just some freaky Slaaneshi bullshit.

I appear to be in a very, very bland metal room that looks like an interrogation chamber. The interrogation table appears to be made of fine wood, and is embellished with shiny silver. I can't really see my chair that I'm in, but I'm sure I'm in one. The other chair looks like a damn throne.

And who else shows up in the room after my rugged awakening, then Inquisition lady herself? And would you look at that, the hood is gone! You know, she doesn't look half bad with her silver hair done up in that ponytail and the braids. If she didn't have the weird robo eye and the bags under her eyes, I might even compliment her, not that that's a good idea to begin with. That, and I'm not into older ladies… That's gonna be a real restricting category in the grim darkness I'm shackled in. Isn't like every second chick I see from now on gonna be like over their 100s?

Oh. Oh, right. It's coming back to me. I'm thinking about Clare again. I try not to do this often because it always goes down a rabbit hole that I don't much like. You ever realize you lost something you'll never get back? Yeah, it's like that. Quick, I need a distraction again before the bad thoughts overwhelm me again!

She looks incredibly smug as she is zoning into the throne, so I decide to strike first. "Oh hey, lady, how's it hanging?"

Her smugness disappears and is filled instead with agitation. Yeah, fuck you, that's for calling me a freak. "You continue to compel me to revoke my mercy." She comes over to the throne.

"Yeah, I do that when I'm on death's door and people keep beating my front cortex in from behind. Seriously, was this necessary?" I try to flare out my hands, but they're rather heavy for some reason. Doesn't mean I won't give her some sort of hell for this.

"How am I to know you are not a hostile element seeking to spy out our voidship and crew, creating seditious elements that would rip us apart?" she asks, taking a seat.

I shrug the best I can, then say, "I-unno."

"Speaking of what you don't know, I'm quite interested in what you do know. Ali Ababwa, I've gathered all relevant information pertaining to you, and I am shocked how little there is. Even for this planet, this is nothing to go off of." She pulls out some files from her robe-jacket thing, and slaps them on the table, revealing one document. It looks to have been written in…

"Comic San?! Really?!" I ask, leaning into the document. It was just a single page. My name, my date of hire into the PDF, my rank, some jargon I cannot read for the life of me from here, and… A smallhandwritten note on the bottom that says, 'Unpleasant to be around'. Wow. Thanks, guys. I'm gonna become real unpleasant in a damn moment.

"There is nothing comical here," she tells me, not interpreting what I'm saying, "Now, I had been very generous with you on your transport here, and we had confirmed on a rudimentary search that your words were true. There is a Cult actively working on the planet, and even a surface level investigation found this to be true. Your service to the God Emperor is notable."

"Thanks, I'm pretty great, I know," I thumb towards myself.

I could tell she was partially fuming, before she decides to stand up immediately, saying, "Perhaps I am the incorrect person for this. Your natural aversion is… Perhaps getting to me. I feel this need to eliminate you and everything you know, but maybe I need something…" She stops herself, and smiles, "Right, I will have someone else talk to you. Someone more your speed. Normally, I'd have a Psyker attempt to read your mind, but-"

"Yeah, that'd be a bad idea," I nod.

She nods back, before shaking her head, "Now. Wait here."

"Excellent command, mistress. But are you sure? What about…" I point to the corner of the room, "Over there?" Then I point to her throne, "Or over there?"

She gives me the 'woman' eye. You know the one. When you've said something you shouldn't, and only a female can give you that look of utter disapproval.

I point downwards, "Right here? Yeah, sure, can do," I quickly add.

She walks wordlessly to the door of the room, practically slapping a panel before that door slams open before her. Out she goes, the door closing behind her.

Thus, I was alone. With a headache. And restrained heavily. This is awful. This must be the true Inquisition experience I've been hearing about. Hopefully this doesn't take too long.


I am nearly falling asleep. Several, several hours have passed, wherein I had nobody to vent to, nothing to do, and only these blank fucking walls to look at.

What did I do wrong?

Actually, I know what I did wrong. I was born wrong, was unlucky, got people killed, trusted the Inquisition, and now they're trying to leave me in solitary isolation. This is probably actually a prison cell. They probably expect me to sleep on this table. I damn well might. Don't even need pillows, I will straight up-

The door slams open again, the whirring noise surprising me as I look back in surprise. There is a person I've never seen before in the doorway.

It looks like a bald woman with a bionic eye, her outfit one that looks almost like some kind of naval officer uniform, just Imperial as all get out. At her side is a holstered pistol of some kind, probably to end my life with.

"Oh thank God, I thought you people forgot about me! Not that I'd blame you," I exhale loudly upon her entrance.

She chuckles and says, "Oh, no, we haven't forgotten about you at all. In fact, we were just talking about you. Had an impromptu meeting. Something something, very important potential thing. Not too important, you understand." She slides on over to the throne, sitting in it casually. The door closes right behind her slithering form.

"Yeah, obviously, sounds like a normal, everyday thing."

"Definitely," she nods, "So, I've been authorized to ask you a few questions. You can call me an Interrogator of sorts." She smirks, thinking I don't know. But what she doesn't know is that I know, for I have had a few hours to think on all the Inquisition material I've read, which isn't a lot, but it's enough.

"Funny joke, Interrogator," I tell her, winking.

Her smile almost falters for a moment before she nervously chuckles, "Weird. Why do I get the feeling you know what's going on here?"

"I don't, I just think you're like one of the trusted aides of the Inquisitor, so probably an Interrogator," I shrug, "Just a guess."

She proceeds to lose the smile as she grabs my document, and starts to read.

"Find anything you like?" I ask. I haven't read the other text on it because it was just out of reach the whole time.

"Not really. This isn't anything at all. Surface level. PDF on a planet that takes just about anybody in, willing or not, so that doesn't say much… I don't really know where to start with you, if I'm honest," she hums out, sounding like she had officially been stumped.

"Wanna talk Orks?" I ask. The last guy seemed interested.

"No. Let's talk…" she puts the document down, "Eldar. The Inquisitor said you mentioned them. Now I want to know how extensive your knowledge is."

"Oh. Man, okay, but they're a bit… Chunky? I don't know, we got like three or four factions of them, you know?" I try to do hand gestures, but it's hard with these things on, along with my weariness from having to be here. Being in small, blank rooms is surprisingly draining.

"Intriguing. Go on," she says, putting the document down.

"Uh… Well, we got the Craftworlders, who live on Craftworlds. They're the boring ones that everyone knows. Then there's the Dark Eldar, or Drukhari, whatever you wanna call them. Then there's Harlequins. Literally clowns. And… Uh, do Corsairs count as a separate faction? I kind of don't want them to, but I understand if you guys think so."

She seems to follow along what I'm saying with a veiled expression. "So, evidently, you know names."

"Oh, do I. I know Vect, the biggest asshole in the known universe, Eldrad, who is the second biggest asshole in the known universe, then there's… God, I don't know, there's a few other characters, most of them are important or founders of different Aspect Warrior sects. I guess there's also the Avatar of Khaine, but he's actually a Saturday evening cartoon goon." Yeah, he gets thrashed entirely too often.

She keeps up her facade until the last line. Her face is now incredulous. "That… I see. So you have some cursory knowledge."

"Cursory? I mean, I'm more a fan of their military structure and developments, personally. Scatter lasers, Wave Serpents, the mono-filament net launchers, that sort of stuff. So, yeah, I guess cur-"

She immediately places her hands on the table, standing and looking at me with intensity, "What launchers?"

"Woah, chillax," I order, "All in good time."

"Speak now, you cretin, before I exercise my authorization to silence you," all the mask of nicety collapses in on itself. Yeah, makes sense. Most people pretend to be nice to me.

I put up my hands, holding them open to her, "Hey now, I'm just proving I know my stuff right now. I have no reason to go against Big E, especially since every other option seems far worse. Even Tau."

"Big… Big eh…" she sits back down, putting a hand on her head, "Please do not insult Him like that."

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Can I get a hell yeah?" I hold up my fist for the spirit of Big E to bump it.

She stares at me with no humor.

Several awkward seconds pass by before I drop my hands again, saying, "Yeah, okay." Really letting me down, Big Man. If you want my faith and loyalty or whatever, you gotta make an effort. I've had enough neglectful parents to add one more to the list without good cause.

She sighs and says, "Look, I'm trying to do this the easy and nice way." She rests back in her seat, looking off to the side, "If you refuse to answer my inquiries, I will be forced to get the Inquisitor back in here."

"But she sucks," I retort.

"But nothing," the woman asserts boldly, "Now, she has requested I be as cordial as possible, and it is… Evident you have knowledge that could prove decisive. Or at the very least useful."

"Well, yeah, but I consider it more of a hobby. I guess it's technically your job, so I understand the whole 'seriousness' of the situation here," I reply.

"A… Hobby. You consider your information gathering of Xenos a hobby." I cannot really read her right now. Yeah, at first she was nice, but then I Blanked all over her.

Oh man, I can make things so much worse for myself. Why did I think that? I'm not wrong, but the wording could use… Eh, whatever. "Yeah," I nod, "It's just a little thing for fun to me."

"So would you say you like Xenos?" she inquisites, me feeling out how dangerous it would be to say yes immediately to that. I'd imagine my brain matter would be cooked extra crispy if I did.

"It's honestly more like how you'd be curious about morbid things. Morbid curiosity, I guess. Like how many bones does the human hand have? I don't know precisely, and there's no way for me to check without either a book or someone dying. That sort of thing," I shrug. Better to seem disinterested for now in whether or not I actually like Xenos.

She makes some sort of short 'hm' before she asks, "So… Would you describe yourself as loyal to the Imperium?" Dumbass question alert. Who do you think is gonna answer no? Who in their right goddamn mind tells an Inquisitor on an Inquisition ship in Imperial Space in an Interrogation Room that they don't feel loyal to the Imperium?

"Personally, I wouldn't say I'm a zealot or anything, but the Imperium, by far, is the best place for me to be, and will continue to be so long as the other options continue sucking," I hash out. This is kind of like a job interview, just instead of walking out of here if I flub up, I die. Little do they know, I'm masterful at almost telling the truth.

"What other options are there?" she raises an eyebrow.

I shake my head, "Lady, you already know, and speaking of like half of them brings bad juju." I have already started believing in ghost tales, for I am in one. I say or think the wrong things, I'm sure a warp storm'll chew up all space around me and thus me.

"You are… Not wrong," she crosses her arms, closing her eye before she starts tapping on her arm with a finger, clearly in contemplation.

"So uh… Am I free to go? I gotta eat at some point and I would hate to-"

"For now, starve," her order resonates poorly with me as she stands, "I have to discuss with the Inquisitor. Your natural aura is starting to really creep me out."

"You didn't have to add that last part," I sigh, resigned to my fate already. I mean, what am I gonna do? Die Hard my way out of here? 'Yippee Ki-yay, Inquisitor!' That would be pretty dope, actually.

"It is hard to control what I add and do not around you," she turns to stage left, sauntering over to the door, holding her head.

"Tell the Inquisitor I'm hungry, loves and kisses!" I jeer.

The baldie looks back, appalled and disgusted all at once before turning back and opening the door and leaving.

As the door slams shut, once again I am alone with my thoughts. I sure do hope I don't have a negativity spiral. That'd really be the pits.


I've grown fond of this table. A few head bangs into it every time I think about that time I fucked up and got those guys killed and I'm- Oop, not again.

I slam my head on the table again, my thoughts clearing up. Life is good. It may be short, but it's good.

The door slams open, scaring me as I fall over from my chair. Now I have a much greater view of my chair, or rather metal stool that makes school chairs seem appetizing. Just looking at it makes my ass hurt… Oh I sat on that all this time?! Did they knock the feeling out of my ass when they kicked it? Wait… I never tried to turn around on it. Why did I think that I couldn't?

However, craning my neck, I can see a white robed individual with weird sounds coming from them. Only a little higher look up, and I can see a hood over a rather robotic face.

"Oh hey, Techie, how you doin'?" I ask with a head nod.

The Techpriest deigns not to grace me with a response, which is entirely fair. Instead, they simply walk into the room, seemingly inspecting the walls.

"Yeah, the walls are pretty neat. I've had a bit to look at them myself. No impurities to speak of, I think."

The Techpriest seems to take a pause before looking back towards me, their eyes seemingly zooming in and out before a response in some kind of technogarble comes out.

"I hate to burst your bubble, but I don't speak binary, or printer, or toaster. Apologies." Although, I could if someone taught me. I never wanted to become a coder, but you know, I could if the money's good enough. Not that money matters right now.

I swear the Techpriest blinks, or at least stares for a while before uttering, "Impressive," and turning back to the wall, seeming to inspect it. Its voice was hard to understand behind whatever filter it's got, but it was there.

"Huh?" I inquire, "What's impressive?"

The Techpriest refuses to address me any longer, rightfully so, but it still pisses me off a little. You can't just garble at me, say one word, and expect me not to get curious. That's like on the first page of my new book entitled 'Me Being Curious'. It's banned in the Imperium, but I'm hoping it goes a bit further than just here.

"Whatever, man, I'm good. Keep your secrets to like the Omnissiah and the Machine Spirits and whatever," I flare out my hands, wanting to shrug but the floor is unable to give me that pleasure.

The Techpriest continues to go about their business, occasionally garbling at the walls before finally leaving. This crew has got some weird people, although the NPC techpriest was at least blessed enough to not call me a freak and instead send a compliment my way, even if indiscernible.

Unless it was sarcasm. But sassy Techpriests don't exist, right? None I've heard of, anyways. Cranky, definitely, but it didn't seem peeved, unlike everyone else. And you know what? The Mechanicus hasn't donked the back of my head yet, so I'll take any W from them right about now.

Well, floor. It's time you and I get acquainted. Now I'm meeting you on my terms. Well, more like on your terms, but it was actually my fault this time. It usually is.


The door opens once again, and I see at least three pairs of boots in the doorframe. I managed to find a way to roll around to see the room, which helped to kill boredom. I don't really know how long it's been.

"Hello, hello," I announce, "Welcome to the room."

The three blitz into room at a casual pace, me hearing a familiar inquisitorial order, "Get him up."

I can see two guys in carapace armor wander up to the fallen me, and I welcome them with open arms. Or, well, as open as they're getting.

They haul me back up to sitting, and this time, I start twirling around on my seat, much to the discontent of everyone else in the room. It felt liberating to have so much mobility and vision that wasn't the wrong way arou-

"Stop that," she orders again.

"Aww," I let out, finally relinquishing freedom once more. Grimness incarnate.

She sighs, grabbing the folder on the table, and bringing them to herself. She seems to inspect them momentarily before closing them up in a seemingly practiced routine, gazing at me with tired eyes before explaining, "I've given it some thought. Aided by your responses and evidence of knowledge, as well as your eagerness, I have decided to… Tentatively keep you around."

I can feel a slight smile opening on my face. "Oh yeah?" I ask.

"Make me regret this, and I will-"

"Have me killed, yeah, I know the whole authoritarian schtick. Lady, I've been smashing my head on this table for fun, trust me, this is a dream by comparison," I place my hands on the table.

She only looks at me with that disapproving womanly look. She then opens my folder again, saying, "Or I could just spare myself the problem."

"Oh come on, I'm not that bad, right?" I ask.

The Inquisitor looks to the armored men, ordering, "Get him to his room. After that, meal hall. Then, training."

"Training?" I ask.

She raises an eyebrow at me.

"Wait, meal hall?" I realize, then hold up my cuffs, "Get these off me, I'm starving, dude!"

The nearest guy turns to the Inquisitor, who just sighs and holds up a lazy hand, moving it a small amount.

The guy pulls out some kind of key, and uncuffs my hands, and then my legs. I was officially free, and now my main goal was to attain comfortable survival as opposed to just survival.