First Person: Lucy

The sun was beginning to set. The sky turned a bizarre mix of purple and yellow, but it was beautiful to me. It looked similar to the color scheme of my wing, which I'd designed to be my favorite pattern of purple fading to red, orange, and then yellow at the tips. The thing worked well for warmth, but I could still lighten it so that I wasn't dying from the heat of a summer evening. If anything, it was keeping the final rays of the sun off me and keeping me cool. In another reality, I'd maybe like to walk on the beach with Veon beside me. Really, it'd be nice to just walk anywhere with him beside me, as long as we could forget all the worries of the world while we were at it. It was so tempting just to say F the world and just drag him somewhere safe. Let the world burn. I just wanted to stay with Ve till it did. I wanted him to stay with me, to not go through what I know he has to. But I couldn't allow myself those kinds of thoughts. I couldn't stop; I couldn't just destroy everyone else's chances at happiness for my own selfish needs.

"You sure this is a good idea?" Leo asked as Hazel turned inland.

"We're close," She promised. "Come on." Just over the dunes, we saw a woman. She sat on a boulder in the middle of a grassy field. A black-and-chrome motorcycle was parked nearby, but each of the wheels had a big pie slice removed from the spokes and rim, so that they resembled Pac-Men. The woman had curly black hair and a bony frame. She wore black leather biker's pants, tall leather boots, and a blood-red leather jacket - sort of Michael Jackson joins the Hell's Angels look. At her belt was a curled whip, and her red leather jacket had a subtle design to it - twisted branches of an apple tree populated with skeletal birds. Around her feet, the ground was littered with the broken shells of fortune cookies. She was hunched over, pulling new ones out of a sack, cracking them open and reading them. Most she tossed aside, and a few made her mutter unhappily. She would swipe her finger over the slip of paper like she was smudging it, then magically reseal the cookie and toss it into a nearby basket.

"What are you doing?" Leo asked as we approached. When the woman looked up to him, he gasped and looked like he was about to hyperventilate. "Aunt Rosa?"

"Leo? What's wrong?" Emily asked, putting her hand on his shoulder and no doubt trying to calm him.

"Is that what you see?" The woman asked. "Interesting. And you, Hazel, dear?"

"How did you-?" Hazel stepped back in alarm. "You…you look like Mrs. Leer, my third grade teacher. I hated you." The woman cackled.

"Excellent. You resented her, eh? She judged you unfairly?"

"You - she taped my hands to the desk for misbehaving. She called my mother a witch. She blamed me for everything I didn't do and…no. She has to be dead. Who are you?"

"I believe your friends know. What about you, Leo? How did you feel about Aunt Rosa, mijo?" He hated her, same as Hazel hated her third grade teacher. After his mom had died, Rosa had rejected him, calling him a devil child. She blamed him for the fire that killed her sister, turning his family against him and leaving him, a scrawny orphaned eight-year-old, at the mercy of social services. Leo wasn't the kind of guy to hate people, but even I could sense that his blood was boiling at seeing his aunt's face again.

"What are you talking about?" Emily asked. "You both know her? Calm down, please."

"And who do you see, dear Emily?" Emily looked to the woman, but there was no flash of recognition or hatred in her eyes.

"What am I supposed to see? You're some kind of goddess, right? I can see that." The woman studied her.

"Hm, interesting. Most interesting. You're a child of Aphrodite, no? Even those children hold resentment in their hearts for someone, whether that be someone who they loath for their personality or their looks. No…there is something deeper underneath. No mortal has a pure enough heart to not resent someone, and the majority of the gods are no different. Who are you really, child?"

"Nemesis," I interrupted. "Goddess of revenge." She looked to me and smiled.

"Ah. You recognize me. And who do you see, darling?" Who did I see? I saw the person I resented the most, the woman who I've despised ever since I can remember. The one who ruined my life, the one who continues to destroy it and will not stop until my life comes to an end, and even then, she may not stop.

"I see the person I hate most," I said simply. I'd long since given up getting angry at that face. Nemesis cracked another cookie and wrinkled her nose.

"'You will have great fortune when you least expect it.' That's exactly the sort of nonsense I hate. Someone opens a cookie and suddenly they have a prophecy that they'll one day be rich! I blame that tramp Tyche. Always dispensing good luck to people who don't deserve it!" Leo looked at the mound of broken cookies.

"Uh…you know those aren't real prophecies, right? They're just stuffed in the cookies at some factory-"

"Don't try to excuse it!" Nemesis snapped. "It's just like Tyche to get people's hopes up. No, no. I must counter her." Nemesis flicked a finger over the slip of paper and the letters changed to red. "'You will die painfully when you most expect it.' There! Much better."

"That's horrible!" Emily said. "You'd let someone read that in their fortune cookie, and it would come true?"

"The big question is when you will most expect it," I muttered.

"See, she understands," Nemesis said. "My dear Hazel, haven't you ever wished horrible things on Mrs. Leer for the way she treated you?"

"That doesn't mean I want them to come true!" Hazel protested.

"Bah." The goddess resealed the cookie and tossed it in her basket. "Tyche would be Fortuna for you, I suppose, being Roman. Like the others, she's in a horrible way right now. Me? I'm not affected. I am called Nemesis in both Greek and Roman. I do not change because revenge is universal."

"What are you talking about?" Leo asked. "What are you doing here?" She opened another cookie.

"Lucky numbers. Ridiculous! That's not even a proper fortune!" She crushed the cookie and scattered the pieces around her feet. "To answer your question, Leo Valdez, the gods are in terrible shape. It always happens when a civil war is brewing between you Romans and Greeks. The Olympians are torn between their two natures, called on by both sides. They become quite schizophrenic, I'm afraid. Splitting headaches, disorientation."

"But we're not at war."

"Um, Leo…" Hazel winced. "Except for the fact that you recently tried to blow up large sections of New Rome."

"Not on purpose!"

"But the Romans won't believe that," I said. "They're stubborn bastards who won't listen to reason, striking first, asking questions later, and being biased to destroy everything that they think will pose a threat to them. They're a good army, I admit, but sometimes I want to throw them to Chaos for their arrogance and stupidity. Even in modern times, they don't get any better."

"War is coming," Nemesis said. "Gaea has seen to it, with your help. And can you guess whom the gods blame for their predicament?" Leo swallowed.

"Me…" The goddess snorted.

"Well don't you have a high opinion of yourself. You're just a pawn on the chessboard, Leo Valdez. I was referring to the player who set this ridiculous quest in motion, bringing the Greeks and Romans together. The gods blame Hera - or Juno, if you prefer! The queen of the heavens has fled Olympus to escape the wrath of her family. Don't expect any more help from your patron!"

"Hera did what she had to, as Zeus felt that cowering back in Olympus would solve everything," I said. "It's my job to oversee the demigods of the prophecy now. Romans are stubborn, but we just need to fix a few things and we might be able to convince them to stand down and work against the real enemy. A common foe can take the worst of enemies and make them allies, if even for a moment."

"Very wise, girl. I see why you were chosen. Still, you have your own duties to attend to meanwhile, which are just as important."

"That's why I have my team."

"Admitting to needing help? Admirable. I wonder very deeply, who it is that you see now. There is a dark pit of hatred and resentment within you, I can see it in your eyes, and yet I cannot dictate who it is that you direct that anger to and gain that resentment from. Your mother, perhaps? Or maybe it's that goddess within you who's made you-"

"Why are you here?"

"Why, to offer my help!" Nemesis smiled wickedly.

"Your…help?" Emily asked.

"Of course! I enjoy tearing down the proud and powerful, and there are none who deserve tearing down like Gaea and her giants. Still, I must warn you that I will not suffer undeserved success. Good luck is a sham. The wheel of fortune is a Ponzi scheme. True success requires sacrifice."

"Sacrifice?" Hazel asked, her voice tight. "I lost my mother. I died and came back. Now my brother is missing. Isn't that enough sacrifice for you?"

"We're alive, we're still fighting," I said. "That's more than we all deserve. Even with this war going on, even with all the bad things that have happened to us, are happening to us and will happen to us, we've still been given the chance to change things, to make things right, to have victory in the end. All of us have been given a chance. A chance is enough to do anything, to change the world for better or worse. We have the power to change things, the power to fix what's happened and to win. Not every mortal has that, not every demigod is a part of those who will play a distinguishing role in this war. We have a lot more than we think. The more power we have, the worse our lives are in return. Demigods are robbed of normal lives in return for the power they get from their godly parent. We've been given so much more." Nemesis smiled.

"You truly are a unique girl. You're worthy of the task you've been given, and you take it without complaint. My advice to you is to remember that you must take things into your own hands sometimes. Take the initiative, and let that anger you bury within you free. You say you have a chance, yet you are bound by chains, and we both know it. Don't let those restraints hold you forever, child. Taking, action, taking revenge, has its advantages, and sometimes it's okay to give in to it."

"I know that. It gives people drive to go on, allows them to do things that they wouldn't have been able to before. It gives power beyond anything else, except maybe love, even if that power is very unstable and dangerous. Playing with power can destroy your enemies, but it can also destroy your allies and you."

"Words. You are wise enough to know when revenge has gone too far, when a limit has been reached. You tell me you understand, but you must show me."

"I am. Or have you not been watching?"

"The real test has yet to come."

"I know that too. Is that all the help you have to offer?"

"Touchy, aren't we?"

"Right now, we just need some Celestial bronze," Emily said.

"Oh, that's easy. It's just over the rise. You'll find it with the sweethearts."

"Wait, what sweethearts?" Hazel asked. Nemesis popped a cookie in her mouth and swallowed it, fortune and all.

"You'll see. Perhaps they will teach you a lesson, Hazel Levesque. Most heroes cannot escape their nature, even when given a second chance at life." She smiled. "And speaking of your brother Nico, you don't have much time. Let's see…its June 25th? Yes, after today, six more days. Then he dies, along with the entire city of Rome." Hazel's eyes widened.

"How…what-?"

"And as for you, child of fire." She turned to Leo. "Your worst hardships are yet to come. You will always be the outsider, the seventh wheel. You will not find a place among your brethren. Soon you will face a problem you cannot solve, though I could help you…for a price." I smelled smoke and realized Leo's fingers on his left hand were ablaze, and Hazel was staring at him in terror. He shoved his hand in his pocket to extinguish the flames.

"I like to solve my own problems," He declared.

"Very well." Nemesis brushed cookie dust off her jacket.

"But, um, what sort of price are we talking about?" The goddess shrugged.

"One of my children recently traded an eye for the ability to make a real difference in the world."

"You…want an eye?"

"In your case, perhaps another sacrifice would do. But something just as painful. Here." She handed him an unbroken fortune cookie. "If you need an answer, break this. It will solve your problem." Leo's hand trembled as he held the fortune cookie.

"What problem?"

"You'll know when the time comes."

"No thanks," Leo said firmly, but still slipped the cookie into his tool belt. Nemesis picked another cookie from her bag and cracked it open.

"'You will have cause to reconsider your choices soon.' Oh, I like that one. No changes needed here." She resealed the cookie and tossed it into the basket. "Very few gods will be able to help you on the quest. Most are already incapacitated, and their confusion will only grow worse. One thing might bring unity to Olympus again - an old wrong finally avenged. Ah, that would be sweet indeed, the scales finally balanced! But it will not happen unless you accept my help."

"I suppose you won't tell us what you're talking about," Hazel muttered. "Or why my brother Nico has only six days to live. Or why Rome is going to be destroyed." Nemesis chuckled, rising and slinging her sack of cookies over her shoulder.

"Oh, it's all tied together, Hazel Levesque. As for why your brother has six days left, you might want to ask your other brother. And as for my offer, Leo Valdez, give it some thought. You're a good child, a hard worker. We could do business. But I have detained you too long. You should visit the reflecting pool before the light fades. My poor cursed boy gets quite…agitated when the darkness comes." The goddess climbed on her motorcycle, and despite the Pac-Man-shaped wheels, Nemesis revved her engine and disappeared in a mushroom cloud of black smoke. I bent down to grab a crumpled slip of paper that remained even after all the broken cookies and fortunes had disappeared.

"'You will see yourself reflected, and you will have reason to despair.' Fantastic." I set the paper ablaze. I had already seen myself reflected a moment ago within the goddess's face. The person I hated and resented the most, the person who would haunt me forever till death and beyond wasn't my mother, and it wasn't the goddess. It wasn't even that woman in charge of that orphanage that I'd been confined to after I was found searching for my dad's family and met Kaze (and I resented her a lot, the evil beep).

It was me. For my helplessness, my acceptance of everything terrible that I've had to do and keep doing. I know what's at stake, and I keep telling myself I'm doing the right thing, that I have to go forward and can't give up. But will it ever come to an end? I will keep serving the goddess even if I succeed in this task, and that's wonderful and all, but I begin to wonder if I'm fading away, just a shadow of who I was, my person gone and replaced by someone else. Everything about me is borrowed. One day, the person that I am will cease to exist all together, and what roams the earth afterwards will be nothing but a shell to hold a deity. Or maybe, she never existed in the first place. Lucy Chikara doesn't exist, she never did, and she never will. I can never have the ability to say that I am my own person, not anymore. Was I ever my own person in the first place?

I have many titles: daughter of Zenobia, granddaughter of Zeus and granddaughter of Apollo, host to the goddess Zyanya, a mysterious woman with power not understood by anyone, Lucy Grigora-Chikara, but none of them mean anything. I can't tell you I like music and writing, because that's just because of the Apollo in me. I can't tell you I can turn to lightning, control the winds, and control all forms of electricity itself because that's just the Zeus in me. I can't tell you I'm a powerful demigod because that's just my mother's power in me. I can't even tell you I summon amazing allies and creatures because nothing I summon is of my own creation, always something I saw on TV or something I saw in a videogame or read in a book. Even just the ability to summon things is because of Zyanya. My name, Lucy Chikara? Both first and last are made up. I don't even have a name to call my own. There is nothing that I can call mine, and I can't say that I worked hard to get the power and skills I did. I'm not a hero, I'm just a shell.