Chapter 5: Death and Mercy pt.1


She was wakened up by the first streaks of clear sunlight reflecting on her face. Her breathing was calm and the mattress underneath her comfortable as never before. Madeline was laying on her back, delighted by the moment, not wanting to wake up yet and even though it was early Monday morning, everything seemed to be just fine. She opened her eyes slowly to see the familiar sight of her bedroom. Never has she been so happy to see that slightly tilted bookshelf or that old, wooden chest of drawers. The girl felt at peace and only one thought kept on repeating itself in her head;

It was all a dream.

No, a nightmare. The most terrifying one I've ever had. But now it's gone. He's gone. I didn't leave home last night. I didn't go to the park. I didn't ride on that damned carousel. I didn't witness David's death. All of this never happened. No monsters. No blood. No death.

However, to her horrible misfortune, Madeline realized how awfully wrong she was just as she began to sit up. An intensive, blunt pain, which went through her neck was an irrefutable proof that the truth was completely different, than she'd want it to.

She lifted herself up on her elbows and reached to touch the source of the pain. As her fingers traced the swollen skin, all the disturbing images from last night stormed through her head. But how? How could such horrifying things be true? Madeline stared blankly into nothingness, imagining Robert Gray — the most charming man she's ever seen — turn into that dreadful thing, that monster, that demon.

Did everything beautiful always have to turn her hopes down in the end? Couldn't it ever remain the way it was?

She hopelessly burried her face in her shaking palms. The monster lived. Furthermore, it lived here, in Derry and wanted to hunt her down.

"No... No, God, please no." She called quietly.

But what could she possibly do? Close herself up here, in the house? Should she tell anyone? Seek help? No, probably not. 'Last night a demonic clown tried to eat my face, please help me!' No one would ever believe her.

Letting out a deep sigh, Madeline tried to collect what was left of her sanity and got up. The fact, that she woke up at home was the only comforting thing she could hold onto, so the girl didn't bother to question why was that. She left her room and peeked into her mother's on her way to the bathroom.

Lynn was sprawled on her bed in a funny way, her red hair enveloping her face like a halo. The woman looked lovely, even with yesterday's makeup blurred on her face. She was still in her clothes, only the red shoes were left on the floor. The room was a mess as most of the time, but that didn't trouble Madeline. The girl's eyes rested on the red heels, and right away she knew. She knew her mother has done it again.

Lynn wasn't technically a prostitute, oh no. She worked as a waitress, a really devoted one, working overtime probably more often than she should. Only sometimes it just wasn't enough. And Lynn was a beautiful woman. So, once or twice a week, she put on the red shoes and didn't come back home for the night. It was a disgraceful business really, but being a single mother and not having the required qualifications, Lynn did not have many options. Despite all, she was still very young.

It seemed, that this night both the girl and the woman were out. Funny thought, that while Madeline tried to sneak out of the house unnoticed, her mother wasn't even at home. Since Madeline's father left them, these shoes were a clear sign, and she tried her hardest not to be upset with her mother because of that. Lynn was still trying her best to be a good parent and valued her daughter more than anything. They only had each other.

The girl moved back and made her way to the bathroom, keeping her head down as she closed the door behind. She didn't want to look in the mirror. She knew what it would show. Yet still, she needed to fix her appearance if she wanted to look as if nothing happened. Otherwise, her look would only give her classmates another topic for their gossips and Madeline surely didn't need that. Finally, she faced herself in the oval-shaped mirror and winced slightly.

The bruise encircled her neck like a ring of livid color. How the hell was she supposed to explain that to Lynn? The girl observed herself in the mirror, not even aware she was comparing her look to her mother's again. Hair a shade darker. Lips a bit smaller. Eyes a lot bigger. Nose just slightly perky. Pale completion. To Madeline, it was a queer mix, and she probably wouldn't define it as better than 'not completely ordinary', but it did certainly make a peculiar appearance.

The two gold painted pins she had on yesterday were still in her hair. One was missing.


The morning sun shone through a heavy grating on top of the underground dome in the center of the Derry sewer system. It went through the floating body of a boy in a leather jacket, who just happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time. He was just one of the many dead children, floating around the huge pile of abandoned remains, that they've left behind. The trophies of It.

And It itself watched as the diffused light filled the place, brightening Pennywise's lair.

The clown toyed with the golden pin, turning it in his gloved fingers. Blood stained his ruffed collar. He was back. After the 27 years, in his favorite form, with his first victim high up above the ground. Everything was back to normal. Back to as it should be...

Except it wasn't.

He didn't feel powerful nor satiated in the least. The first kill did not bring the satisfaction he expected, but even greater, tormenting thirst. What was that unfamiliar feeling? That unbearable urge to get to someone without the intention to tear them to shreds, but simply... be around. He's never felt anything like that, and it was driving him crazy. And what made the situation the more irritating, was that when he looked up at the floating bodies he was still full of hate towards mankind, and very much enjoyed the thought of human fear and suffering.

It was just her. Only towards her was he now feeling all those strange emotions.

The clown examined the golden pin on his palm. It was way too subtle and shiny for this place. Like a single, little star among the empty skies. It was just like the girl, to which it belonged to. The one he was grateful he didn't have to kill. The one he picked up and carried to her home, then gently lay her in her bed. That kind of behavior didn't suit him one bit, but when he was standing there; tall and powerful, with fresh blood still dripping from his mouth, almost ready to take that precious life of hers and feel the way her fragile body would easily break, he just couldn't do it. Was that an act of mercy? Or maybe something far more intimate?

Pennywise clenched his jaws and his sharp gaze hardened. Then, something strange happened. Something, that has never had place before. His gleaming eyes went down to one of the pools of filthy water under his boots. He observed his own reflection.

You're a monster. A nightmare, an entity destined to sicken and terrify the hearts of the young, and nothing's ever going to change that. His brows furrowed, and he held the golden pin tighter. Was it even possible that the thought made him... upset?

But it doesn't have to be like this. At least not all the time.


"Predation is a biological interaction where a predator — an organism that is hunting — feeds on its prey — the organism that is attacked. Predators may or may not kill their prey prior to feeding on it, but the act of predation often results in the death of the prey. It could also constitute a chase, stalking, or attack of prey. Thus, predation is often, though not always, carnivory. Other categories..." The female speaker's recorded voice resounded in the slightly darkened classroom, serving as an explanation to the scientific presentation showed by a projector.

Madeline's fingernails tapped nervously against the desk. When Mr. Branow announced the topic of today's lesson, the girl thought her skull would simply explode.

Perfect. Just perfect.

She couldn't stop fixing the tight turtleneck of the gray sweater she chose to wear today. It was the only garment she had, which covered her neck properly, and she hated the prickly material.

"There are few various types of feeding behaviors. A true predator is one that kills and eats another living thing. Some predators kill large prey and dismember or chew it prior to eating it, such as a jaguar or a human."

Oh, Madeline knew exactly what a true predator was. Trying to look anywhere but at the images of hunting animals in front of her, the girl examined the surroundings, then the students, noticing, that unexpectedly most of them were interested in the presentation.

"Grazing organisms generally do not kill their prey. Many of them only eat a small part of the plants that they graze."

Was her attacker a grazing organism or just the opposite? She could still hear David's ribs breaking in the dark corridor dimmed by red light. The thought made her feel sick. Madeline's gaze turned to her biology teacher. Mr Branow was also deeply interested and watched the slides from behind his small, round glasses. She often liked to misspell his last name in her mind as 'Barn Owl', because of his specific body posture and the hoar-ish color of his hair. But she couldn't concentrate even on that.

"Parasitoids are organisms living in or on their host and feeding directly upon it. However, unlike parasites, they are very similar to true predators in that the fate of their prey is quite inevitably death."

Something in those last few sentences made Madeline's heart freeze. How could such awful things be said in a calm voice like that? What a terrible thing it had to be; living as the host...


A/N: Hi everyone! This chapter came out wayy longer than I expected, so divided it in two parts (you can expect an update very soon ;) I hope you enjoy!

Also, I would like to thank all those, who favorited, followed and (especially) rewieved this story, as well as the ones, who corrected me. You guys give me the inspiration to go on with writing and make me feel a lot more worthy. Please continue to give me your support. Love y'all :*