Chapter 12
Living at home again was surprisingly straightforward, once the initial shock had worn off. We woke up and ate breakfast, Candy went to school, Amy stayed at home and I tried to catch up on my homework. So routine. SO normal, if not for the fact that we still had to keep an eye out for trouble and Dad was in the hospital. Uncle Jerry wasn't back from the hospital either and I had no clue how he was doing. I tried not to be difficult. I was dying to see them but I never asked, trusting that the adults had things under control. I'd made things hard enough for them already.
I did my best not to dwell on the things I had been through. Fisk Tower, that underground lab place and the fight with Mum. It cropped up on me all the same and when it did I would feel my eyes moisten against my will. It was tempting to fight the tears, I certainly did when I was in front of Aunt Amy or Candy. But when I was alone I let them fall. Even if I didn't quite understand why I was sad after everything, it felt more unnatural to fight them than to simply let them fall. I felt that somewhere inside, there was a part of me that needed them to fall and so I let it happen each time.
Eventually I got my chance though. Aunt Amy got a call from the hospital that Uncle Jerry was awake and doing well. She organized things and got us going to the hospital he was at. I wasn't really sure what to think or how to feel. The room he was in was very simple and very plain with a single window next to the bed he was laying in.
Uncle Jerry smiled when he saw all of us. "Hey."
Aunt Amy and Candy rushed to his side. Amy was asking if he was okay, how he was feeling, the works. Candy lay across his lap with her arms wrapped around him and babbling about how worried she was. I just stood there. I still remembered how useless I was, when he broke us out. I could see the scarring, faint on his skin and still healing. Bandages covered his arms from what I could see, but he wasn't in a cast or a sling or anything like that.
His smile though… his smile was the same.
"Alex," he greeted cheerily, calling me over.
I moved next to him and he gave me a one-armed hug. "Hmmm? Why so quiet?" he asked, once the hug was over.
I could feel my eyes watering. "I should have done better…"
"Alex you're just a kid-" Amy was silenced by Uncle Jerry's raised hand.
She glared at Jerry in confusion, but the glare melted away in the face of his expression. He was calm. Very calm. Solemn, in a kind sort of way.
"There will come a time when it is your turn," he said, speaking slowly and carefully, "but at that moment, I had to be the one to step up. Not you. No matter how strong you think you are."
I started to cry outright. "I'm so sorry…"
He pulled me in for another hug. "You have nothing to be sorry about."
We were there for a while.
xXx
The family was in high spirits after that visit. Uncle Jerry would be allowed to come home soon, he would recover with some very light scarring but that was it. He had been bleeding out due to the sheer number of cuts and not from any of them being particularly deep.
We decided to go clean the gym and prepare it for re-opening as a way to welcome Uncle Jerry home. As the one who was basically at home the most I decided to start early, then Amy and Candy would help me do the really deep cleaning on the weekend. With my powers I could probably do it all in a day… but then Aunt Amy would ask questions.
So while Aunt Amy was in her room working out how to run her store remotely I was down in the gym cleaning the place up. It was incredibly easy. As with all things, I used it as an opportunity to practice measuring my strength and adjusting to my new dexterity and balance. Every moment was a moment to improve. If these powers were going to be with me for the foreseeable future, I had to make sure they always did exactly what I wanted to do. Or I'd kill someone eventually.
I was in the middle of removing cobwebs when I caught a glimpse of someone outside. It was just an instant really but I couldn't believe my eyes all the same. The boy saw me see him and he smirked as he seemingly melted out of my field of view. I just stood there holding the cobweb brush in my hands, unsure if I was imagining what I just saw or not.
I went outside to look around and even asked passers-by if they saw him. No one had.
I returned to the gym and looked back at the spot where I saw him.
Was that only in my head? I thought.
xXx
"Gwen asked after you by the way," Candy said as she flopped on her bed.
I froze.
"Alex?"
I winced. "I completely forgot about her… what'd she say?"
Candy raised a pair of disapproving eyebrows as she fished out her phone and a pair of earphones from her pockets, "She just wanted to know if you were around and if you were okay. She still has no clue why you disappeared or how you got back. She was very worried."
I cringed harder. 'Sorry' felt horribly inadequate.
"I need to call her," I said.
Candy nodded. "Yeah… she only got to know you were back because we met in the hallway and she asked how we were doing without you."
And now I felt like an even bigger turd than before.
"I'll do that right now," I said, turning back to my laptop.
I was sitting cross-legged in Candy's room while Aunt Amy worked on lunch. My laptop was on my lap, where I'd been searching how to adjust to being stronger than you expected yourself to be. I minimized that tab and moved over to my e-mail, setting up a call through there.
She responded immediately.
Gwen's face bloomed across my screen, "Alex, that you?"
Behind her there was an undecorated wall. It was hard to tell where she was.
"In the flesh," I responded, "What's up?"
Her blue eyes seemed to roam all over me, taking me in. "I thought you were gone for good."
"Sorry, I really should have called," I was still wincing at the reminder of how negligent I'd been. Sure we weren't quite that close, but she'd been willing to sneak into Mum's office with me and then I'd just ignored her afterward. She didn't seem upset, surprisingly, just intensely relieved.
"That's great," she said, "you'd been gone for so long and nothing I did to find you was working."
I noticed then the dark circles surrounding her eyes. She'd not been sleeping. Had it truly been that bad without me? Had I underestimated how much Gwen needed a friend? A note of caution sounded somewhere in the back of my mind. It could be that she was just genuinely concerned… or she could be dangerously needy. The type to pin her whole life and dreams on one person and turn the world to flames when it didn't work out. In my heart however there was empathy in knowing how easily one could end up neglected and lonely, desperate for even one person who truly cared. Gwen could just as easily be in that position and I felt even worse for not even thinking about her in so long.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
She blinked several times as if just now remembering she was alive and with the corresponding needs. "Uhhh… yeah. Yeah I'm fine."
She did not sound very confident.
"No seriously I'm fine, don't look at me like that."
"How did you let yourself slip this badly while I was gone?"
"I was trying to find you!" She was getting defensive.
I tsk'd. "At the risk of your health? Have you seen the circles around your eyes, Gwendolyn? Did you think I would see that and say nothing?"
"You're not going to be reasonable about this, are you?"
"Not one bit," I admitted, smiling. "So you know what we're going to do next?"
Gwen moved back from the screen slightly, eyeing me warily. "What?"
"We're going to go out together, you and me," I said, "There's a nice café Candy knows that she's going to show us to-"
"I do not remember signing up for this," Candy cut in.
"-hush Candy, turn your volume up," I continued seamlessly, "We're going to sit there and have a nice little hangout over healthy drinks and an accompanying pastry of our own choosing."
Gwen was silent for a moment, then she said, "Why'd you emphasize healthy drinks if we're having pastries?"
"Because old habits die hard, you in?"
Gwen looked tired, but she laughed anyway. "Sure."
"Great, tomorrow's a Saturday right? Tomorrow then."
Candy smacked me upside the head. "Stop deciding people's plans for them."
xXx
In the end Candy did show us the place. It was plain as coffee shops go and on the corner just a few blocks away from our gym.
"Alright," Candy said, setting her own cup down, "you've officially usurped my morning."
"I mean you could always go home," I pointed out, "you were only supposed to show us the way here."
"And walk all this way for nothing?" she snorted, "Please. I will have at least have a nice drink out of this."
Gwen was smiling, nursing her own cup as she watched us bicker. She and I had ordered first while Candy went to greet one of the staff that she knew. By the time Candy had returned we were already seated with our orders.
"That's unhealthy you know," I said eyeing her choice. It looked like caffeine city.
"I'm not as high energy as you," Candy said, waving me off.
"I'm not high energy."
"I don't think I've seen you consume a single energy related product outside of a little sugar and you always have enough stamina left to do chores, and school work on top of your workouts."
Gwen looked between us grinning.
"That's not high energy, that's just good planning and an understanding of when to do how much."
"Lies. I copied you for a week once just to see how it worked."
"…You did?"
Candy raised her eyebrows. "What?"
I leaned forward. "I thought you and Aunt Amy weren't interested in working out."
Candy sniffed. "I was willing to give it a try when I saw how productive you were."
I grinned. "Awww Candy, you might just melt my heart yet."
"Gwen, how did you make friends with this heathen?"
"I have no idea," Gwen answered, still amused, "this is my first time seeing her like this."
This time it was Candy who was smiling as she looked between Gwen and I. "Hooo? Lemme guess, she's got her head buried in some textbook or other at all times, walking around like she's at war with the world."
"That's… surprisingly accurate. Until she says something mean. Then she's happy."
"I resent both of you," I supplied helpfully.
"Your resentment is noted and duly ignored," Candy said, taking a sip of her unholy concoction.
Gwen cleared her throat. "So uh… Candy. Does that mean your full name is Candice?"
"Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?" Candy said.
Gwen mouth stayed open in complete surprise.
"Say yes," I advised.
"So there are two of you and I am being double-teamed," Gwen noted thoughtfully. She raised her cup to her lips after a moment and said, "I humbly retreat" before taking a sip.
I laughed and Candy smiled.
"So what did you order?" Candy asked me.
"Decaf."
Candy made a face. "Of course you come to a distinguished coffee shop and you choose the poison."
"The healthiest option you mean."
"Why would a distinguished coffee shop sell poison?" Gwen pointed out.
"She speaks reason," I agreed, "listen to her."
Candy sighed. "I regret bringing you both to my haven."
"I'm surprised you found the energy to find a place so far from home," I said.
"This is literally two blocks away."
"Exactly my thought process."
All the while the smile never left Gwen's face. The discussion eventually fell to how Candy had all the energy and presence of a sloth. Then it moved to school and how things had been going on that front. I supplied that having all the school work and materials sent to me made things much easier in some ways and harder in that I couldn't ask the teachers for help. Not that they would help me anyway.
"About that…" Gwen spoke up.
Candy and I looked at her.
"Why don't the teachers help you when you ask?"
Candy glanced at me and I sighed, "It's complicated."
Candy nudged my arm and glanced between Gwen and me.
"Alright, alright," I said, raising my hands defensively, "So. The reason is that I suck so bad at academic work that they don't believe me. They think I'm just lazy."
"That's so stupid! No one works harder than you!"
I stared at Gwen in complete surprise. Her outburst got us a few looks from the other customers and she blushed when she realized what she had just done.
I tried to find my voice again. "Yes… well… that's how it's always been. I always do badly no matter how much work I put in or how hard I try, when I sit in front of the paper everything just slips my mind. I might as well not have studied at all. They don't believe me though. They say that if I was truly serious, there'll be certain basic questions I should at least be able to answer. So yeah… the teachers don't like me."
Gwen looked troubled. "How about students? Have you tried study groups?"
"I get less work done in study groups. Don't think it works for me."
"How about asking friends for some tips?"
I looked her in her blue eyes. "Gwen, up until you came along I had no friends."
She blinked several times in surprise. "What? Really?"
I nodded. "Before I moved here, my old school teachers used to warn the other kids away from me because I would teach them 'bad study habits'. And you know how people get. I was the problem kid. The one who got laughed at, made fun of, shit on, you know the drill. Brain Dead they called me."
Gwen stared at me. Her blue eyes were shining, almost as if they were wet.
"I don't know what to say," she whispered.
"It's years too late to say anything," I waved her off, "Don't worry about it."
She still looked unsure. Her awkwardness was cute honestly. Despite the content of the conversation I started smiling.
"You can copy off of me-" she began.
"No," I said, still smiling.
"Alex, you can't fail school-"
"No."
"Why?" she said, genuinely confused.
"I pass or I fail," I said, "both outcomes are mine and mine alone."
"But-"
"No."
Candy was grinning now. "You think I haven't offered the same?"
Gwen glanced at her. "At least let me help you study."
"I just told you group studies don't-"
"It doesn't have to be a group study," Gwen interrupted, "If you're struggling with something call me."
I raised my eyebrows. "I guess… there's no reason why not."
"That's right," Gwen said, "and if I can't help you I know a guy who's pretty smart." She thought for a moment. "Two guys actually."
"Right…" I agreed.
"We can turn things around."
"Uh-huh."
Gwen paused. "What?"
"You're getting even more worked up than we are," Candy pointed out.
Gwen blushed and shrank in her seat. "Sorry."
"No I think it's cute," Candy smiled.
"Right?" I said.
Gwen shrank further in her seat, cheeks blazing pink.
"That's really nice of you Gwen," I said, "I just might take you up on that."
She was still embarrassed about it. Ah… this was just as fun as ribbing Spider-Woman. Or Ghost Spider. That name sucks.
"So… uh… Alex…"
I looked at Gwen. "Yeah?"
"What happened to you when you went missing?"
I'd been thinking about that. What to tell her. I'd eventually decided to tell her the same thing I told Amy and Candy. I told them about the letter from Lady Bullshit. I told them about my acceptance of the invitation. I told them about going to Fisk Tower, something that seemed to make Gwen frown. Then I told them Kumo busted in, fought everyone, rescued my Dad and helped me escape. I got caught on my way out, but Kumo tracked me down and saved me again. Then went after Fisk.
The entire time Gwen and Candy were listening with rapt attention.
"Looks like we owe that Kumo gal big," Candy said.
"Yeah, she's pretty cool," I said, totally not blowing my own horn.
"Are you guys sure?" Gwen asked, seeming worried. "She went on a whole rampage. It was on the news. And she attacked Mrs. Arthur."
"That was on the news?" I asked.
Gwen froze. "If you didn't see it on the news how did you know about that?" Her eyes widened. "Wait. You were okay with it?"
Candy was staring between the two of us now.
I sighed. "I wasn't, but Kumo was very up front about what she would do if Mum went too far. I guess Mum went too far…"
I could see curiosity and horror mixing together on Gwen's face.
"You wanna ask something?" I said to her.
"Were you really okay with letting her go after your Mum?" Gwen asked.
"Even if I wasn't what could I do, realistically?"
That seemed to annoy Gwen, briefly, but she deflated. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I still think she wasn't fair to you, just deciding things like that."
"My mother's actions are her own," I said, "Our connection doesn't mean she should be exempt from any consequences of the decisions she makes. It sucks, but Kumo wasn't doing it to hurt me."
"Sounds like you and this Kumo are really close though," Candy said.
"She said she knows me," I said, "but she wouldn't say who she was or where she was from."
This lying thing was kinda tough. I was becoming way too self-conscious about my facial expressions.
"She know me?" Candy asked.
"She does," I said. "She knows all of us."
"Hmmm," Candy mused. "I can't think of anyone who knows all of us like that…"
"Do you think your Dad might know her?" Gwen asked.
"It's likely," I said, trying not to pay too much attention to the BS I was spitting, "I haven't really looked into it. Got other things on my plate at the moment."
Gwen eyes widened slightly, "Oh yeah. Right. Sorry."
"Well, so long as she's trying to help I'm cool with her," Candy said, "Although I do think her going after your Mum is crossing a line. You can't hide somewhere for God knows how long and then butt in when it's convenient for you."
She had a point there. If Kumo wasn't me. I nodded regardless, "Yeah, you're right."
Gwen glanced at the clock. "Oh wow, we've been here ages."
I followed her gaze. "Oh…"
Candy took a look and sat back completely at ease. "You guys wanna leave?"
"Not really," I said.
"I have work soon," Gwen said, standing up.
"Alright," I said, "See you."
She waved and left the café. Candy immediately reached for the phone in her pocket and the headphones around her neck.
I smiled. "Was it that tiring?"
Candy slipped the headphones on and slumped in her seat. "I brought my A-game for your new friend. Let me have my peace."
She didn't like talking. Socializing was tiring for her too. But she came anyway.
"Thanks, Candy."
She waved me off and closed her eyes, letting the music take her. I kept her company until she was ready to leave.
xXx
Later that evening I was in my apartment, laying in my bed. And I couldn't sleep. I was wired. Like I had to be doing something. Things were too stagnant all of a sudden. It felt like my entire life was on pause. I was stuck at home, studying all day and all night, doing training that felt meaningless as a hobby, with no one to really talk to that got it. Candy was cool with the idle routine life and Aunt Amy was busy enough not to notice what I was feeling. My life right now was… empty. No purpose.
I needed to talk to Dad, I decided. I got off my bed, shucked off PJs and dug through the back of my closet for the suit Dad had sewn for me. I put it on and in a matter of moments I was out of my window and leaping the rooftops of Queens. I was much better now than when I'd been doing it with Spider-Woman. I made good time toward Manhattan and reached The White Blossom hospital. I snuck in from the roof entrance just like I did with Fisk Tower, and stuck to the ceilings checking any desk that looked remotely like an enquiry desk until I found a book listing room occupants. I found my Father soon enough and headed for his room.
I cracked open the door. "Hey old man."
He glanced over and saw me. "Al-" he caught himself half-way, "Kumo. Come in."
I slipped in and closed the door gently behind me.
"Why are you here?" he asked, "You should be home sleeping."
"Couldn't sleep," I confessed, "Too wired. Needed someone I could talk to."
"Ah… is this about your mother?"
"All of it," I said, "Plus I missed you."
"It's true that we haven't been able to speak in a while," he admitted, patting a spot for me to come sit, "How have you been holding up?"
"I should be asking about you," I told him, seating myself on the edge of his bed, "the last time I saw you, you were…"
Twitching helplessly in an elevator while I tried to lead five killers away from you.
It felt so good seeing him alive and relaxed now. Up close I could see that he was actually getting kind of chubby due to all the bed rest.
"I will recover so long as I keep working at it," Dad said.
"But you're okay? Nothing funny is happening to you?" I asked.
He gave an exasperated laugh. "No, Alex. My hospital stay has been very boring and uneventful."
That made sense if he'd been trapped in a bed from that time till now.
"So… is there anything you want to tell me?" he asked, in that tone that said he very much expected me to have something to tell him.
There was only one thing I had done that might earn me that kind of attention from him.
"I tried to fix things," I confessed, "and I went after Mum."
Dad's expression gave nothing away. "Saw your little spree on the news."
I felt ashamed about that now, truthfully. I'd gone into the criminal world with fangs bared only to get used and tossed out like some kind of moron. And I'd accomplished absolutely nothing while I was at it.
"I am sorry," I said.
"Sorry is nice Alex," Dad said, "But had you severely injured your mother with your new strength, or even killed her, can I bring her back with your sorry?"
She was stronger than me, but that wasn't the point of what he was saying. I had gone in there thinking she was weaker than me. Being sorry did not waive foolish decisions. That's what he was telling me.
"Do you even know how many people you may have put in the hospital?" he asked.
I… I'd been suffering from a severe case of tunnel vision at the time. To my own rising horror, I realized that I couldn't be sure…
"I'd punish you, but this situation is punishment enough," Dad sighed, "I just hope you realize how foolish that was. How many things could have easily gone wrong."
I bowed my head. "I'm sorry."
"It's past now," he said, "No use worrying about it. We need to look forward anyway. Your actions gave me a bit of insight into how the criminal world works. Even bad things can be useful."
I looked up curious. "You learned something?"
"Mostly helped me see that I was never going to win," Dad smiled as he said it, "There were too many organized groups coming after you and I. And that's ignoring whatever backroom deals they had going on between each other. Half the reason more people haven't come after us is because they're so busy tripping each other up."
"Are we giving up?" I asked.
Dad shrugged. "In a sense. Just because I can't win doesn't mean I won't fight back."
"What about running away?" I asked, "Leaving New York."
Dad raised his eyebrows. "Where would we go? We'd have to establish our lives all over again on the assumption that they won't just follow us. Or worse, that they won't have international connections and branches which some of them do."
"We're cornered…" I said, and I didn't like it one bit.
"Indeed," Dad nodded, "But the strategy from now on is going to change."
I looked at him. He was bed-ridden and putting on weight and yet he looked so… solid. Reliable. Calm.
"What's happening?" I asked.
Dad looked into my eyes. "Tell me Alex, are you happy?"
"No," I whispered. "I'm not satisfied anymore," I continued, "I'm sitting at home, chasing grades I don't really care about, doing training that no longer challenges me while Candy and Amy are frequently out of the house. I've tried gaming, I've tried reading, I've tried new forms of training, I've tried practicing my new abilities as much as can be reasonable but it's-"
"Not keeping your attention…" Dad said, thoughtfully.
"And there's the fact that I couldn't see you, or call you," I told him. "I wanted to see how you were doing… for myself."
"Would you like to go back to school then?" Dad asked.
I frowned beneath the mask. School had never been a good thing for me.
"I'm not particularly bothered about school," I said, "It's just another hurdle to overcome."
Dad snorted. "Indeed. But it is an opportunity to interact with others your age as well. Do you still not have friends yet?"
"Well, I made one," I said. "Gwen Stacy, she's pretty cool."
"Ohhh? I'd like to meet her one day then," Dad smiled.
"You'll like her," I told him, if only because she was so awkward sometimes.
"I'd like you to put more effort into making friends if you can," Dad said. "There are a lot of things you can only get out of life when you have people you can trust behind you."
For a moment, in that comment, I saw how lonely Dad was…
Where were his friends? He never talked about them. His parents were dead. Mum's parents were dead. His one successful brother hadn't bothered to contact him since the funeral. Only God would know where he was.
"You're sending me back to school?"
Dad nodded. "I put your life on pause because I thought you could be protected. I understand now that to truly keep you safe I would have to keep you hidden away indefinitely. The economic system doesn't support dead weight and I don't have the resources for that, nor do I believe it would be good for you."
I hesitated.
"What?"
"It seems kinda reckless…" I said, "For you I mean."
"You know something your Grandpa used to say?" Dad asked me. His father.
I nodded.
"Problem no finish," he said, waving an arm across his face as if painting the words before me, "Our problems will not go away. So we will live in spite of them."
"Huh," I grunted, "Simpler than I thought it would be."
Dad smiled, "Indeed. I made things complicated and lost. Let's try simple."
"What do we do when someone makes a pass at us?" I asked.
He grew less amused at that question. But he did not seem to be thinking.
"You've considered this already," I realized.
"Your powers are a blessing," Dad said, looking at me. "If you did not have them this may be far less feasible."
"Dad, what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that it is in our best interest that Kumo becomes very, very strong," he said, "And that she gets a lot of practice dealing with those who dwell in the criminal world."
He took my hand in his. "Even in my absence, no matter who or what comes at you, you will thrive. That's what we're going for now."
"I'm not sure I can do something like that," I said.
He squeezed my hand. "Start small. I'll help you however I can."
Become strong… so no matter who comes at you… you will thrive…
He was taking off the leash. It was time for me to push my limits.
"I'll give it my best shot," I promised.
"That's all I've ever wanted from you," he answered.
I hugged him as tightly as I could without hurting him. We sat and chatted for a few more hours after that. Just trying to figure out how we were going to organise ourselves from now on, finding out how the other was feeling and a bunch of other, less important, things. By the time I crawled my way back up to the rooftop the sun was just breaking over the horizon. It was dawn.
I watched the light spill over New York City, crawling up the various buildings and down the streets as the sun rose.
I had no idea who or what I was speaking to and yet… it felt appropriate somehow…
I raised a fist to the light. "I'll beat you senseless."
xXx
In darkness pitch, a shadow moved, horrid incessant clicking following it. The sound of its laughter.
"Yessss, Championnnnnn… Sssspeak your will and make it reality…."
