Chapter 28: Misery loves company
~And in another life I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in other life I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away.
-Katy Perry, the one that got away~
"Because we did. Period." Esme blurted.
What. The. hell.
"What?" Rosalie sniffled in confusion. Carlisle let out a loud sigh and Edward's head snapped up to meet his gaze.
"We...we don't think this is the right time." Esme stood up and started clearing her side of the table.
"Right time for what?" Emmett asked. "What did you mean by 'we did'?"
"We'll talk about this later." She shot an apologetic look at me and left the room.
"Carlisle?" Edward prompted quietly. He looked distressed, creases forming on his forehead.
"Not now, Edward." Carlisle said sadly and went after Esme.
I tried to understand what Esme meant by that odd sentence. Did she mean that she had encountered people like Edward before? She mainly implied that she had survived. But survived what?
She was human...right?
The next day, things changed for the worst.
Ever since Edward got his driver license and the new car, he insisted on giving me rides to the school. Mom was more than happy since her car was left undamaged. Everyone knew about my lack of coordination.
I had gulped down the fresh juice mom had prepared for me and was seated on the swing in the backyard, waiting to hear the familiar Volvo's beep. However, as time went on, I got a little worried.
I glanced down at my new crystal studded watch and my eyes widened. The school would begin exactly in fifteen minutes. Where was Edward? Was he sick? Was he still sleeping? Or did he sleep in?
As if hearing my thoughts, my cell blared as expected. Edward's name flashed across the blinking screen.
"Hello?"
"Hey Bella, it's me." He replied quietly.
"Edward! What's wrong? Are you sick or something?" I asked, immediately alert.
"Yes," he admitted. "I'm not feeling well. I wanted to inform you so that you won't be late for school."
"Do you want me to come over?" I got up from the swing and shouldered my school tote.
"No, no, I'll be fine. I don't want you to ditch school." He rasped with rough voice.
"You sound awful." I noted with a frown.
"Look, I have to go. I'll call you when you come home, okay?"
"Um, okay. Bye Ed -"
The line was dead before I could finish speaking.
School was painful.
I couldn't wait to see Edward again. Was he really that sick? So sick that he was bed ridden? Or was he...lying? I shook off the disturbing thoughts and went through the day as I was supposed to do.
Sasha picked up my mood as soon as I entered the class for English. She remained quiet, though the looks she kept shooting me was anything but that.
However, Heidi wasn't forgiving. During lunch, she stole the chair next to me and sat down expectantly.
"So, where's Prince Charming?" Heidi chirped.
"He's sick," I replied nonchalantly, "stuck at home."
"Really, Bella?" She laughed tauntingly. "That excuse is getting pretty old, don't ya think?"
She winked and turned her attention to the food before her but I couldn't. It wasn't easy to ignore her when she spoke so confidently.
"What do you mean?" I asked, surprised to find that her question tensed me.
"I mean, Randall has been using the same reason for the past week. I'm not surprised that Edward is following his footsteps." She tossed her hair back.
"You think Edward is lying...t-to me?" I bit down my lip. Hard.
"Sorry." She touched my arm with a sympathetic look. "But God, I'm sick of thinking of Randall again and again."
"Well, I'm sorry too."
The whole Cullen clan was a no show in History class. I guess I wasn't really surprised. I kept on obsessing over what Heidi had told me and found it hard to concentrate during classes.
I had the wrong answer when Mr Hale called on me and he kept on shooting me worried glances throughout the hour. When school was finally over, I fled to my mom's car and drove like a lunatic to Edward's house.
I parked the car and climbed the steps before I ran the doorbell. I heard low murmuring inside the house and the door swung open slowly.
Randall poked his dark head out. "Hey, Bella. What's up?"
"I want to see Edward." I said, trying to push past him. But he was blocking me.
"He's not here," he frowned.
I let out an incredulous short laugh. "You got to be kidding me."
"I mean it. He's really not here." He scratched his neck awkwardly.
Okay. What the hell was happening? Was Edward avoiding me? I was pretty sure that he was the one who had set Randall in the front door
"He told me he's sick. So how come he's roaming around?" I asked stiffly.
"Wait, he is sick?" Randall's eyebrows pulled in before they smoothed out. "Yes, of course. I think he went to see the doctor, um, he -"
"Isn't your dad a doctor?" My voice was not more than a whisper. I was surprised that Randall could still hear me.
"Bella," he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry."
Grief and disbelief crushed me. It took me a moment to collect myself and speak to Randall.
"If you see him, when he comes back from his supposed visit to the doctor, tell him that I dropped in. And that he is acting like an immature idiot." I snapped and stalked back to my car.
I got inside my car and glanced one last time at the house. A tiny moment at the window caught my eye and I froze.
It looked like someone had parted the curtain, and then dropped it again.
Nothing in the next four days changed in the slightest. Edward and his family didn't come back to school and I wondered why I kept expecting that something would change.
I called Edward several times but his cell phone was always switched off. On Tuesday, I found the words FORGIVE ME carved on what was left of the snow on my driveway.
On the fourth day, just before Valentine's Day, I stopped. I just...stopped trying. I hadn't given up on him but I decided that he needed some time. That's all.
Time was all he needed and I would give that to him.
However, every minute that passed was unforgiving. I wondered if he knew that there wasn't much time left now and if that compelled him to continue to sulk alone in misery.
"You. Have. To. Go. To. The. Dance." Sasha nearly spat out the words.
I glanced up from the Biology assignment I was trying to complete and rolled my eyes at her.
"It's just a stupid dance, Sasha." I looked down again.
"Okay, you and Edward broke up. So? Get over it! I want you at the dance and if you are not going to bring your pretty ass there, you can expect a full blown-out cat fight." Sasha tapped her pencil in an emphasizing way on my elbow.
"Edward and I didn't break up." I repeated in a monotone. I was getting sick of saying the same thing to everyone. "He just needs time."
"He needs a lotof time, alright." She scowled and then sighed uncomfortably at the insinuation her voice held. "Sorry."
It wasn't her fault that she was acting cranky towards me. She did not like to see me suffer in silence all because of a boy. An extraordinary boy, in this case.
"I get a lot of people telling me the same these days." I stood up and walked away before the argument could escalate.
After school that same day, I drove uncharacteristically slow to home. When I entered my street, I noticed something very bright in the near distance out of the corner of my eye.
Alice's yellow Porsche was parked on the Cullens' driveway.
Edward didn't want to see me but he was okay with seeing Alice Brandon? I was unbelievingly shaking with anger. I was so mad and hurt at the same time. That was it. The hell to Edward and his "much needed time".
I dialed Sasha and asked her if she could come over so we could go for dress shopping for the dance.
As soon as Sasha and I hit the mall in Seattle, I realized how much time I had spent with Edward. Majority of my day was spent with him, which left with me doing nothing with my friends.
We were able to find a cute dress for me and we managed to come back to Forks before midnight.
"See you at the dance!" Sasha kissed my cheek happily and drove away to her house.
The dark pink colored dress was low cut with a halter neck and was backless. It covered only the latter half of my back and flowed prettily around the knees.
The school gym was undergoing repairs. So, the dance was held at the only luxurious hotel in Forks. Since I did not have a date, Sasha had agreed to go with me. We went to the hotel a little late and Alec convinced me to dance with him.
I was giddy with the amount of sugar I had forced into my system and didn't think twice before I went to the dance floor with him.
Alec had become my good friend again and I wondered why I even fought with him in the first place. However, Alec wasn't thinking along the same line. During the fourth song, he tried to kiss me.
When I dodged him, his lips landed on my cheek.
"Sorry, Bella." He sighed in my ear. I was getting sick of that word.
I fled from his arms and bumped into Sasha on the way. She pushed away from her dance partner deliberately and ran after me.
"Here," she threw me her car keys. I hugged her hard and bolted out of the hotel.
When I finally got inside her car, I broke down. Edward had become my life and it was so stupid of me to think that I would be able to move on without him.
He was my lifeline.
I glanced at the dashboard through my tears and frowned at my cell phone. I had left it in Sasha's car before I went inside. I opened the screen and blinked in astonishment.
One new voicemail from Edward Cullen. 7:30 PM.
My heart stopped and picked up in double speed. My fingers fumbled with the buttons and when I heard his melodious voice flow through the speaker, it was all I could do from hugging the cell phone.
"Happy Valentine's day, Bella. In my head, I pictured just the two of us somewhere sunny, eating cherries and whipped cream and enjoying each other's company. But, why is it always hard when it comes to reality? I'm miserable but...this is the only way. This way, you'll h-hate me because I don't talk to you anymore and when I finally leave, you won't hurt. I'm aware this is very...selfish of me. I hope you're alright. I saw you leave your house for the dance and you looked...you looked very exquisite. I hope you're having the time of your life. Goodb...good night, Bella."
It was clear that he had seen me when I got inside Sasha's car. Where did he hide then? Behind a tree like a stalker?
I played it again and by the third time, I was sure as hell that he was about to end with a "goodbye" but had corrected himself.
I wanted a say in this absurd decision of his. I gunned the engine and made it straight to his house. The street was dark and empty and there were no cars parked outside his house except the Volvo.
If Edward saw Sasha's car from his window, there was a 100% chance that he would not answer the door at all. Therefore, I parked the car at the end of the street and after making sure it was securely locked and safe, I blended into the shadows of the trees and went to his house.
I rang the doorbell and nervously waited, completely out of view from the seeing hole on the door. I heard footsteps approaching the door and then it opened.
Edward stood on the other side, looking disheveled in his black shorts and tight white t-shirt. He had never looked so gorgeous to me.
"Bella," he rasped in shock.
"Hey," I said sarcastically. "I just wanted to come by and say thanks for returning my calls. Oh, and for that wonderful heart touching voicemail."
"I meant everything that I said." He mumbled dejectedly.
"So, that's it?" I asked, leaning against the wooden doorframe.
I had left my jacket back in Sasha's car and the February air was cold on my bare back and arms. The dress did not cover much.
"What do you want me to say?" he let out a loud resigned sigh.
"Why did you give up? That's not the Edward I know." I tried to hide the desperation in my voice but I didn't know if I succeeded.
"After you left yesterday, the others didn't linger. I was alone in my room and I could not help but think over what Rosalie had said during dinner. She is right for once, Bella. I'm starting to feel the pressure now." He closed his eyes and smiled darkly. "Feeling powerless over my own life...sucks. I can't concentrate on anything else. It's best...if you stay away from me, Bella. What if I go rogue during the last days and do something to you? I can't allow that. So, please understand, Bella."
"You won't hurt me." I whispered. "I trust you."
All the time I had been with him, even after finding out that he wasn't technically alive, this was the only thing that had kept me going. He wouldn't hurt me. I trusted him with my whole life.
He chuckled. The sound was so hollow that it made me shiver.
"How can you trust me when I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore?"
"Edward," I gasped out. "You're over thinking the whole thing."
"We are talking about our lives," he spat in self-disgust, "how could I not over think?"
"So, this is how you want everything to be? Both of us fighting and not talking to each other?" I demanded angrily.
"You know that's not what I want, Bella." Edward's huge green eyes glittered in the moonlight.
"You want me to leave you alone?"
He didn't answer.
"Okay." My voice sounded very tiny and I willed myself not to cry.
He was afraid that he would physically hurt me if he stayed with me and I wondered if he would ever realize that he was already mentally hurting me.
As I made my way back to Sasha's car, I was determined to find a relief to the Cullens' situation. Moreover, I knew where exactly to go.
Back to the place where all of this started.
The Eternal Cemetery.
Hey guys!
I know I promised in last update that something major would be revealed in this chap but I don't want the story to end. So I didn't. Sorry, guys and I hope I'm not dragging or anything. Review and share your thoughts about this chap and what you think will happen.
-BEJL
