He didn't know where he was. That was a strange enough sensation to have, but when added to his photographic memory, it didn't make a lick of sense.

Fledgling...

Haylen spun, trying in vain to find the source of that word.

It was no use. All that he could see in every direction was a thick dusty fog. He swept a hand through the mist, sending individual particles spinning away almost playfully.

The movement should've left his hand feeling slick with the water in the air, but it didn't. He could see the way the water particles shone on his fingers, but his hand still felt entirely dry.

As he thought about that, the mist in front of him began to shift faster, and from the center a light began to flicker on and off, growing brighter by the second. He couldn't look away. Something about it was pulling him in.

He wanted to find out what was happening, with every fiber of his being.

My child...

The light grew brighter than he could stand to look at, and he raised a hand up to his eyes to protect them. Was this what it was like looking at him when his grace got out of hand?

When it faded, he looked back up and felt his whole body freeze.

Golden-white light lit the air behind her, somehow brighter and more pure than the kind that he wielded. It washed her snowy white wings with a warm colour that reminded him of sunlight pouring through honey.

Her hair fell in long crimson curls that blew in the light breeze that seemed to be following her, but the most striking feature was easily her smile. The look she was giving him was so warm and loving that he felt like crying.

Was this who he thought it was?

Her expression softened even further as she took in how hesitant he seemed in her presence.

She held her arms out, dropping the silver staff she'd been holding like it meant nothing to her. Haylen wanted nothing more than to run into her arms and never leave again. It sounded like heaven.

My Azharian, she said, her eyes bright with feeling.

He paused at that, the name bringing up feelings he didn't want to deal with. Not when this was the first time he'd ever seen his mother.

When he didn't move toward her, the woman let her arms drop, her head hanging for a single moment as well. The pain was easy to see in her eyes even if there was no bond he could form with her, but in front of it was acceptance. She knew why he was holding himself back.

He had to wonder if people really could look down on their loved ones after death. Had she been privy to conversations he'd had with his father? Or the private moments he'd shared with the Doctor? That wasn't something he wanted to think about either.

She lifted her head again, reeling in her emotions as she did, and waved her hand gently at the staff. A soft glow seeped out of her hand and drifted over to the staff, lifting it and returning it to her as she just looked at him.

He marveled at the casual use of grace. He'd never seen another Angel use their abilities in front of him, largely because there were no more. The only things he'd seen were visions of what they'd done in the past, and none of that had been very pleasant to look at.

She took her staff from the light and placed it lightly in the crook of her arm, pulling the remaining glow back into her body just easily as she breathed.

How did you do that? he asked, still looking at her with wide eyes.

There is much you do not know, my son, she said gently. But we are short on time.

She was silent for a minute, her brow creasing lightly as she thought. Haylen took the moment it gave him to drink in her form once more. She was beautiful, and if she had been one of the Angels who'd spoken to the humans, he could see why they'd come to worship them.

The thing that kept drawing his attention though, was the cloak that she wore over her white dress. It looked like the she'd taken the night sky and wrapped it around her shoulders. He couldn't seem to pull his eyes away from the fabric as it breathed with every shift of the wind.

Your father will do his best, I'm sure, she said, voice sounding troubled as she spoke. But he was a warrior. There are some things that cannot be fixed by tearing them to pieces. Some things require a more delicate touch.

Haylen frowned. Her words were only lightly scolding, but he found he definitely didn't like upsetting the woman who'd given him life.

You are a mix of both your father and myself, she said, giving him another soft smile. You even inherited my grace, but I was a healer, and you'll end up hurting yourself if you try to force your grace into the role of a warrior.

He didn't understand. He'd only ever done things that his instincts had told him to, how could that be wrong.

There comes a time, child, she said, giving him a look that seemed to pierce straight down into his soul, when we have to choose between doing what is right, and what is easy. And it is far easier to give into the screaming of pain in the moment, than to do the right thing.

He looked down as memories crashed over him. He knew what she was talking about. The way he'd reacted when his mate had been threatened was not a way that he wanted to be, but it had been impossible not to give into the instincts telling him to destroy everything.

How had any of them ever chosen not to give in to such an instinct?

You are still young, she said, voice softer in the face of his regret. But if you do not start to learn to use your grace properly, to train your mind as well as your power, then you will be a liability waiting to happen. How can you protect the people you love when you give up at the first sign of defeat?

She was right. Age was no excuse, but he'd been letting it be one, even unconsciously. He was ashamed to realise that when he'd learned the Doctor was going to die, he'd lost it entirely. He hadn't even recognised his own sister when he'd been standing in front of her.

If he didn't start letting people help him, he was going to hurt more people. Here was a second person, offering to help him, and he'd been prepared to push her away over something as stupid as a name.

She turned then, giving him a moment of semi privacy as she spoke.

Do you know where your name comes from? It was the custom of our people, to take the names of each parent and make a new name for the child out of them. Az from Azrael, and rian for Celebrian. The part of your name that is left over is a reminder that no matter who you come from, you are your own person.

She turned to look at him again, a soft smile lingering at her lips that spoke volumes on its own.

Our Azharian. The perfect mix of your father and I. The temperament of a warrior, with the conscience and grace of a healer... Nothing would have been able to stand in your way. Every star in the sky would have bowed to your merest whim.

He didn't know why it surprised him to hear that they'd had hopes for his future, but it did. Of course, his birth parents had wanted him to reach for the stars. It was what every parent wanted for their children, so why should his be any different?

I'm only sorry I couldn't be there to see it in person...

The mist was encroaching, he realised with a start. When had it started getting thicker? He didn't know, he'd been far too engrossed in the conversation. The first conversation he could remember having with his birth mother, and it looked like it was over.

The last thing that disappeared were the timeless cinnamon eyes that looked so very sad, and then the mist was the only thing he could see.


Haylen blinked his eyes open to a familiar sight.

He was in his nest, surrounded by more pillows than he cared to count, and sandwiched between the wall and Shadow's newly bulky form. Her promised growth spurt had been far bigger than he'd expected, but he was getting used to it.

He pulled her closer, his arms wrapping around her warm belly carefully. Her claws and talons were a lot more threatening at the size of a large mountain lion, not that she'd ever hurt him intentionally.

He'd feel bad about forcing her sudden change in size with his uncontrolled grace if she hadn't seemed so excited about being big. When she wasn't leaping about from tree to tree in his room, she was sleeping. It took a lot of energy to change so much, and while most of it was because of her taking in his excess grace, she'd still had to change, and that had taken its toll on her. Which said nothing of the amount of energy she was expelling by running around like a mad thing.

He wasn't sure how to feel about the dream he'd woken from. Had it been real? Had he really spoken to an apparition of his mother in a dream? It seemed more likely that it was something his subconscious had made up to counter his father's influence in his life. He couldn't know for sure though.

Haylen let his head rest against the top of Shadow's for a moment, taking comfort from the soft huffs she let out as she dreamed.

If his mother was to believed, he was hurting himself by using his grace the way he had been. When he'd been in the dream, everything she'd said had sounded like it was the simple truth, but now that he wasn't asleep, he had to wonder if she was wrong.

He hadn't yet reached the edges of his ability. There had only been a few times that he'd worn himself out by using the power that lived inside him, so how could he be hurting himself? And there was something about the way she'd mentioned their hopes for him that didn't sit right either.

He didn't want the stars to have to bow down to him.

He didn't really know what he did want, but it wasn't that. If anything, the thing he wanted the most was for everything to keep going the way it had been. He loved going to new places and times with his family. Why would he ever want anything to change?

Maybe the only thing that he'd like to change, was how unsure he always felt. He just felt so out of control all the time. It was like there was an uncontrollable entity that lived just under the surface of his skin, begging to be let out and rip everything to pieces at the slightest provocation.

He couldn't help the swell of anger that rose as he wished helplessly that he'd had his birth parents to raise him. At least then he'd know how to control his grace, and the only people he'd ever hurt were the ones he intended to. If his father hadn't died, then the other Angels wouldn't have been lost to grief.

But then, a near silent voice whispered in the recesses of his mind, you never would have met your human sister, or Rory, or Mels/River. And perhaps more painfully, you'd never have met the Doctor.

Who knew who he'd be if he'd been raised to believe in the same things that the Angels had? Would he even care about hurting other people? Or would he consider them worthless, the way that every Angel he'd met so far had seemed to.

A complicated flood of emotions surged through the bond he shared with his mate, a mess of fear and excitement that thoroughly distracted him from his wayward thoughts. What had the man gotten into while Haylen had been taking a much needed proper night's sleep he had to wonder.

He gently pushed Shadow away, wincing as she rolled over and blinked at him sleepily. He hadn't meant to wake her up.

It's time to get up already? she asked, yawning widely, showing off sharp teeth that were far more of a threat at the size they were now.

'Yes,' he said, giving a half shrug that she seemed to understand. 'my mate seems to have gotten himself into some trouble.'

She'd rolled back over halfway through his explanation, clearly preparing to go back to sleep, but paused, her ear flicking as he mentioned the Doctor and trouble. She had far too much interest in adventures for it to be healthy, he thought as she sprang up with bright eyes. Apparently, sleep was no lure when an adventure was on offer.

We'd better go and help then, she thought back, an excited little growl escaping her unconsciously. You know he's helpless without supervision.

That was entirely untrue, Haylen thought privately. The other man seemed to manage perfectly well, whether he was there to see it or not, but if Shadow wanted to join him then who was he to argue. It wasn't as if he didn't want to spend time with his wayward mate.

A soft huff of air was the only audible sound of reproach he bothered with, letting his hand drop down onto Shadow's back at the same time. With a single thought, he took hold of his bond with the Doctor and the two disappeared from the inside of the Tardis silently. He focused on the feelings coming from the other side of their bond, using that to pull him through time and space toward the most important person who existed.

Something felt off though, he realised at the last moment. Those feelings of fear/excitement had shifted into something deeper, something far sadder, almost scared that he didn't think the other had felt even at the thought of his own death. It almost felt older, too, and just a little bit sick, which was just strange. What on earth was he picking up on?

Frustration got the better of him, and he gave a harsh yank on the bond, forcing his grace to pull him to the other man quicker. They appeared in a flash of golden-white, and Haylen had all of half a second to react before a body was falling on him.

He blinked in shock as a man with increasingly familiar heartbeats lay unconscious in his arms. Their bond thrummed with the rightness of holding this familiar stranger who felt like the Doctor, even though he didn't look like him.

Haylen looked down at Shadow, even as he shifted his mate into a more comfortable position. Her only response was to snuffle at the man curiously. When she only moved closer and rubbed herself up against his jacket (leaving a fine coating of longish white hairs behind, a little too smugly), he knew she'd come to the same conclusion as he had.

His heart settled as his mind helpfully reminded him of the conversation he'd had with the Doctor only a few days before. Time Lords had a way to cheat death, but the trade off was that they changed their entire self to do it. Which meant that something had happened to cause his mate to die, and he hadn't been able to stop it.

His head snapped up as something moved closer, and he distantly noticed Shadow's doing the same thing. It was a human, that much was obvious, but what it might want, he didn't know. And he didn't particularly care, not when his mate was unconscious in his arms.

The words his mother had spoken to him only moments before in his dream rang through the air between him and rest of the world.

There comes a time, child, when we have to choose between doing what is right, and what is easy.

He gritted his teeth together, but released the instinctive hold he'd had on his grace. He did bare his teeth at her though, to prove that he was still a threat. Just because he was willing to wait for answers, that didn't mean that he wouldn't tear her limb from limb if it was her fault that his mate was in the state that he was in currently.

She didn't seem to register the danger until Shadow's growl ripped through the air as she took another step toward them.

'Uh, what's wrong with you two?' the woman asked, eyes wide as she took in their aggressive stances over the Doctor's prone form.

'The better question might be,' he started, fixing his gaze intently on hers, 'what happened to my mate?'

'Your mate?' another voice asked, as though surprised by the declaration.

His eyes flicked toward the person who'd spoken, heart speeding up as he realised just how many possible threats were in between them and the safety of the Tardis. She was a Silurian, if he wasn't much mistaken, but that didn't matter. What did matter, was that he didn't even know how he'd gotten there, much less how his mate had gotten into this state.

'Well, then,' the woman said, surprise of her own written all over her face, 'that answers one question.'

'What, I don't understand,' yet another woman asked, this one standing beside the Silurian. 'Where's the Doctor?'

'Come now, Jenny,' the Silurian said, 'do pay attention. Surely you recognise Azharian?'

He bared his teeth at her at the name she dared to call him. It might've been a name he'd been born with, but that wasn't who he was anymore.

The only response she gave him was a single raised eyebrow, thoroughly unimpressed by his actions, apparently. 'And who else would he be protecting so staunchly without so much as a single question.'

That wasn't a question. Not really, and he could see the understanding dawning on more than one face, which meant that somehow, these people knew him. He just had to figure out how.


'He hasn't met us yet,' the Silurian was saying, but not nearly quietly enough for someone who claimed to have already met him.

'What,' the first human asked, sounding about as confused as Haylen was. 'I don't understand, how can he know who the Doctor is, but not have met us?'

'They're bonded,' the Silurian said simply. 'He will always know his mate when he stands before him.'

'But they only finished their mating bond after they met me. It doesn't make sense.'

'It doesn't have to make sense, not to you. You're not bonded to either of them,' the Silurian said pointedly.

Haylen definitely agreed with her. He might be just as confused as the other human, but he didn't need to understand what was happening to know that his mate needed him. Besides, he was used to working with far less information than anyone else, thanks to his talent for tuning out boring parts of the conversation.

He blinked in surprise as he turned back to the bed only to find it empty. His heart only had a moment to panic before he spotted his mate standing in front of the dresser, looking into the mirror in horror.

He tilted his head to the side, watching the man rear back from his own reflection and spin to take the room in with a bewildered look. It didn't look like he was fully present, and he didn't even seem to see Haylen at all.

Their bond felt frazzled, like the other man didn't know which emotion to feel first. Haylen could understand that, having felt it not so long ago himself. He let his mind drift closer to the Doctor's listening into the thoughts that the other alien was accidentally battering against their mental connection.

'-simply misunderstandable to me,' the Doctor yelled, transitioning from thoughts to words without a pause. 'I don't know what it is.'

He'd just about reached the door at that point, and Haylen thought he might have to go chasing after this strange angry version of his mate for a moment. Thankfully, the door opened to two familiar faces who spoke over his mate's rambling shouts, herding him back into the room.

'-invented this room?'

'Doctor, please,' the first woman pleaded, 'you have to lie down.'

'It doesn't make sense,' the Doctor continued, like he wasn't really hearing them at all. 'Look, it's only got a bed in it. Why is there only a bed in it?'

'Because it's a bed-room,' the brunette said, something wild and despairing clear in her eyes for a moment. 'It's for sleeping in.'

'That's just plain wrong,' the Doctor said, shaking his head at her. 'You're wrong. Bedrooms have got like trees and things in them. Everyone knows that, where else would you keep your nest?'

Haylen looked down then, a smile tugging at his lips despite himself. Things couldn't be too bad then, if that was the first thing the Doctor thought of when he thought of sleeping. If this really was a future version of his mate, which he was inclined to believe, then things must still be alright between them. The fact that he hadn't seen hide nor hair of his own future version was something he'd been struggling with.

'Besides,' he continued, pointing at her with a strange wild look of his own, 'what do you do when you're awake?'

'You leave the room,' the second woman said.

'Doctor,' he said, cutting through the conversation like he'd shouted. The other man stopped immediately, turning with an air of desperation that had him tilting his head to the side in confusion.

'You...' the man breathed, eyes wide as he took him in for a moment. 'You've aged backward. That's very rude, pretty.'

Haylen blinked hard, his cheeks flushing at that last word. He'd never been called pretty before, and he didn't know how to feel about it. His wings faltered behind him, rustling in an almost flustered way.

'Ooooh, you liked that,' the Doctor breathed, his eyes getting a bright, glassy sort of look that Haylen didn't understand.

'Alright, that's enough of that,' the Silurian woman said, stepping forward and rescuing Haylen from his mate's slowly advancing form. 'You can tease your mate when there are no witnesses.'

Haylen's eyes went wide at that thought. Just what had the other man been going to do when he got to him? He wasn't sure if he was grateful for the interruption or not.

'I think your mate is tired, Doctor,' the Silurian woman said, voice a soft croon that almost distracted him from what she was saying. 'Look at him, doesn't he look tired?'

'Well, yes but he's not going to get any sleep in here,' the Doctor said without even giving him another glance. 'There's not even enough pillows in here to make a proper nest.'

Haylen frowned, raising an eyebrow at the man's back. He'd made a nest out of less materials before, and not even that long ago. When they'd met Craig and Sophie, he'd had to use less pillows and things than the ones that were available on the bed in this room, so what was he talking about?

He must've looked pretty confused, because the second woman was shaking her head at him with a strange look on her face. Was she asking him to play along with something? But what was he supposed to be playing along with?

His mate spun once more, looking a little unsteady on his feet for Haylen's taste. Maybe they had been right about getting the man to lay back down.

'I'm sorry,' he said, moving toward Haylen with a rushed movement that was more lurch than hurry, but it was almost familiar with how often he'd seen his mate bolt toward someone at this point. 'But you could just do a standing catnap, like I do.'

He pointed down at Shadow without even a glance. 'You too, you could do with a nap and you're actually a cat.'

Shadow gave him an offended look that he would've laughed at if he weren't so worried about his mate.

'When do you do standing catnaps?' Haylen asked. He'd never seen either version of his mate take a catnap. The only times he'd seen him asleep outside of their nest was when he'd found him passed out somewhere.

'Well, generally whenever someone else starts talking,' the man said, before flinching back as though he'd been struck. 'Er, but not when you're talking, dear.'

Haylen tilted his head to the side as confusion grew inside him once more. If he wasn't mistaken, the Doctor had turned into a strange combination of himself, his sister, and Rory. He had to wonder if there was any of River in there as well.

His mate was smiling at him, but it was a strange smile with something almost fearful hiding behind it. If their minds weren't connected, he didn't know if he'd have understood exactly which emotions were being presented to him, even though it was his mate.

He didn't know why, but something about the feelings that were seeping in from their bond was just screaming at him to take the other man in his arms again. He felt the strangest need to tell the other man that everything would be alright for some reason.

Those emotions were very spiky though, and he honestly wasn't sure that such an action would be welcomed at this point. Shadow must not have got the memo though, since she went to stand behind the Time Lord and swung her back end into the backs of his legs. His knees went out from under him, and he was stumbling into Haylen's arms before either of them knew what was happening.

Haylen easily held them both up, not at all bothered by the weight of the other alien, however unexpected it might've been to have him thrown at him.

'Look at that,' the Doctor said after a moment, a different smile spreading across his face. 'I'm still falling for you.'

He thought he heard one of the women mutter something about 'will the flirting never end' but he couldn't be sure, not over the odd flip-flopping his heart seemed to be doing in his chest.


He hadn't wanted to leave his mate there like that, but he hadn't had much of a choice. Once the other man had passed out, a voice had called out to him, sounding like a voice he should know for some reason. It had sounded like the tolling of bells, and like the crumbling of stone into dust, like the ocean eroding a cliff-side away one wave at a time.

This is not your time, child.

Then he'd been enveloped by a bright white light.

When he'd opened his eyes again, he was standing in his room in the Tardis once more, Shadow at his side. She'd looked just as confused as he'd been, which was no help what-so-ever.

When he'd tried to latch back onto the sad, older version of his mate, there was nothing there. His grasp of their bond was almost slippery whenever he went looking for what he now knew to be the next regeneration of his mate.

Something was obviously stopping him from going back there, he thought with a flare of irritation.

His grace leapt eagerly to his unconscious call, bursting out of him with barely a flicker of a thought. The way it danced around him in excitement was new. All he'd ever seen it do was radiate out from him.

Clearly, seeing another Angel use their grace differently had given him some ideas, even if he wasn't consciously aware of it.

He eyed it critically for a moment, comparing it to the dream he'd had of his mother. Her grace was brighter, more pure in a way. What did that mean, though? Was he just less powerful, or maybe he was broken in some way. Maybe he was less innocent.

Less pure.

The colour of your grace is a reflection of your soul, Azharian, Azrael's voice explained, butting into his thoughts with all the subtlety of a sledge hammer. As you grow, you will experience new things and be shaped by those experiences. It is common for a person's grace to change as they grow.

He didn't know how he felt about that idea. The colour of his grace was a part of him, so why would it change as he got older?

The universe has always been about balance, Azrael said after a moment. There is much evil that exists, which is why Angel's were brought into being. We were there to balance the scales, removing the bad before it could become worse. Why do you think we were pre-cognitive?

It made a terrible kind of sense to Haylen, not that he wanted to admit that. But what made more sense, was what his father hadn't said. That the Angels had drifted from their purpose, believing in their own superiority more than what they'd been put there to do.

That was why they'd had to be destroyed.

He wondered, then, if a similar thing was to blame for what happened to the Time Lords. Had they gotten too big, and had to be wiped from the sky before they destroyed the universe?

It made something uncomfortable squirm around his stomach. In the purging of his kind, he'd been missed. If there was some kind of deity that kept track of that sort of thing, then what was to say that he wouldn't one day be removed from the universe in much the same way that his people had been?

It might solve the problem of outliving his loved ones, but only if it happened after they were all dead and gone. He couldn't let his lack of control be the reason that he was taken away from the people that he loved.

Unfortunately, there was only one person that he could ask for help with that.

And he really didn't want to.

He huffed a breath out in defeat. The odd antagonistic feelings he had toward his so-called father were nothing in the face of not wanting to disappoint or upset his mate.

That was another thing.

He had to assume that eventually, his seeming predilection toward violence over any other solution would come between them. Especially considering how many times his mate had told others off for threatening death and/or violence. The man's very name was a giant clue as well.

Surely a man who's name was 'Doctor' would prefer a mate who was a healer over a warrior. And if he wanted a choice in how he reacted, then he needed to learn to control his grace and his instincts.

'I need your help,' he said through gritted teeth, hoping that his father would somehow know that he was talking to him. The man had a bad habit of listening in on his thoughts, but whether that went as far as his spoken comments as well, he had no way of knowing.

Finally.

That answered that question, he thought, fighting off the irritation that wanted to rise at the confirmation. If there was anyone who knew how to train his grace, it was someone who'd already done it himself.

His mate would just have to wait.


As much fun as he was having with the young version of Kazran, he sort of wished he'd waited for his Angel to wake up before running off on this adventure. They just always felt more fun when his mate was there to see the new things with him.

But Amy and Rory had been bored, and if there was a dangerous creature to have in his Tardis, it was a bored human. Which was saying nothing of two bored humans!

So he'd taken them to a cruise, in the honeymoon suite no less, and of course, that meant that the whole ship had then gone crazy and tried to crash.

Because of course, it had.

But, on the upside, he'd gotten to see some really cool new things! Like fish that swam through the sky like it was an ocean. That was pretty cool, all things considered. Just how was such a thing possible? Did they have to filter out any of the particles in the air the way they did in the water? Or was that just entirely irrelevant?

What would happen if they ended up in a river? Could they survive in a body of actual water?

The questions were endless, and even though it was all he wanted to do to spend the next few hours examining the strange new things, there was no time for that. Which just seemed like the story of his life, he thought with a pout. Whenever there was something new and interesting, usually, it wanted to eat him.

Luckily, he wasn't doing anything dangerous this time. It was only a little fish.

What could possibly go wrong?

'Interesting,' he said slowly as he eyed the little fish that was nosing at his sonic screwdriver. 'Crystalline fog, eh?'

His thoughts whirled off on a tangent that he wasn't entirely sure was useful, but there never was any corralling them after they got away from him.

'Maybe carrying a tiny electrical charge. Is that how you fly, little fishy?' he asked, considering the possibility.

'What is it?' Kazran asked from where he still sat in the cupboard. 'What kind? Can I see?'

The Doctor smiled at the questions helplessly. Just like any other little kid, he thought indulgently.

'Just stay there a moment,' he said. No need to get the kid hurt if there was some reason that the people on this planet feared the fish. Just because he couldn't see the reason, that didn't mean that it didn't exist.

'Is it big?' Kazran asked, not satisfied by the non-answer.

'Nah,' he replied softly, still watching the fish swim through the air with more than a little interest. 'Just a little one. So, little fellow, what do you eat?'

His hearts just about escaped his chest through his mouth as a giant shark barged right in through the open window. Well, that wasn't ideal, he thought as his body froze at the sight of the lethal creature. It had gobbled that little fish up along with his sonic in one big bite!

'How little?' Kazran asked, having no idea of the danger that was now in his bedroom. 'Can I come out?'

'No,' the Doctor replied, trying not to appear delicious in any way. 'No, maybe just wait there for a moment.'

'What colour is it?' the kid asked, still not hearing anything wrong with his tone of voice.

'Big,' the Doctor said, his voice pitching up as he realised that the shark had spotted him. 'Big colour.'

He bolted then, despite knowing it would just make the shark charge at him. There hadn't been any other choices available. Not with all those people in the future counting on him, let alone Amy and Rory, and his Angel who had no idea that anything was happening.

Perhaps he'd made the right decision after all, he thought as he slammed the cupboard door shut. Leaving his Angel behind might have been the safer option after all.

'What's happening?' little Kazran asked, clearly shocked by the banging that was happening against the other side of the cupboard door, not the mention the way he'd rushed back through without any notice.

'Well, concentrating on the plusses,' he said, chest heaving in the rush of emotions, not to mention adrenaline, that were flooding through him, 'you've definitely got a story of your own now. Also, I got a good look at the fish, and I think I understand how the fog works, which is going to help me land a spaceship in the future and save a lot of lives. And I bet I get some very interesting readings off my sonic screwdriver when I get it back from the shark in your bedroom.'

If he said it really fast, maybe the kid in front of him wouldn't notice.

'There's a shark in my bedroom?'

There went that idea. Why did his best ideas never work out?

'Oh, fine,' he said, pouting at the failed idea. 'Focus on that part.'

There was another loud bang, and he was nearly bumped right out of his position barricading the doors shut.

Then silence.

That wasn't at all promising, he thought, eyeing the doors suspiciously.

'Has it gone,' Kazran asked. 'What's it doing?'

'What do you call it if you don't have any feet, and you're taking a run up?' he asked instead of anything reassuring he might've considered. With the situation that they were in, reassurances weren't going to help them.

The shark hit the doors again, this time succeeding in shoving they away from the inside. They landed in a heap on the floor, with a fantastic view of the inside of the shark's mouth. Which, was not ideal.

'It's going to eat us,' Kazran panicked, repeating himself a few times. 'It's going to eat us. Is it going to eat us?'

Why was he asking him, he wondered when they didn't immediately find themselves in the shark's stomach. He took a closer look as he spotted the shark thrashing in the doorway. It looked like the doorway was just slim enough that the poor shark had ended up trapped.

It was stuck, with its head inside the cupboard, and its body outside it.

'Well, maybe we're going to eat it, but I don't like the odds,' he said, a little louder than he'd intended to in his fear. 'It's stuck, though. Let's see. Tiny shark brain... If I had my screwdriver, I could probably send a pulse and stun it.'

'Well, where's your screwdriver?' Kazran demanded rudely.

'Well, concentrating on the plusses,' he reminded him lightly, 'within reach. You know, there's a chance the way it's wedged in the doorway is keeping its mouth open.'

Or at least, he really hoped it was.

'There is?'

'Just agree with me,' he snapped back. 'Because I've only got two goes, and then it's your turn.'

'Two goes?' Kazran asked, fear still very much obvious in his voice thanks to the massive shark that was attempting to eat them even though it couldn't quite reach.

'Two arms. Right then,' he said. 'Okay. Geronimo. Open wide!'

He threw himself forward, not letting himself think too hard about how much it was going to hurt to have his arm bitten off if he was wrong. There was a little kid he had to save (from the thing he'd done - shut up!), and he had to get out of here for the people who were counting on him as well.

He was up to his shoulder in the shark when a flash of familiar golden-white light and feathers appeared by his side.

The shark lunged again, apparently not bothered by the Time Lord who was reaching into its mouth, and he jumped backward hastily. He hadn't been joking nearly as much as he'd have liked to have been when he said he had two goes, but that didn't mean that he wanted to lose an arm to sheer stupidity either.

The hard look that his mate was leveling at him nearly had him thinking about just climbing into the shark's mouth entirely. It might be less painful that disappointing the other man. Maybe.

'Er, I can explain...?' he tried, looking from the unimpressed look on his Angel's face, to the excited gleam in Shadow's eyes where they were trained on what was essentially a giant fish that couldn't get away.

Haylen turned and stood before the shark, reaching out a hand to touch the rough skin under its eye. Watching his mate stand so close to such a dangerous predator was almost more terrifying than facing the thing himself. The fact that his Angel didn't seem to find the shark all that scary was not at all comforting.

His mouth hung open as he watched his mate put the shark to sleep with all of a single thought. Why hadn't he thought of that, he asked himself with more than a little bit of irritation. It wasn't like it was impossible.

It might have taken a bit longer to connect with the creature, since his mental abilities were a bit different than an Angel's, but it was still possible.

The blank look on his mate's face when he turned back made him wince. There wasn't even anything coming from their bond to give him an idea of what the other man was thinking. He'd shut it off for some reason, which just made him wonder when that had happened, and why he hadn't noticed it happening.

For that matter, his Angel looked a little more rumpled than he'd have expected, since he'd left him sleeping soundly in their nest.

His shirt was singed in a couple of places, and if he wasn't much mistaken, there was a dark liquid coating the inside of one of the ripped pieces that had to be blood. Just what had his Angel been up to that had ended with him injured? And why didn't he know about it?

He was also surprised to see a thin wall of golden-white grace shielding the shark's sleeping form from Shadow, not that she looked all that happy about it. She'd definitely like to be having shark for dinner.

'Haylen,' he said, trying for his usual light tone and failing entirely thanks to how guilty he felt. 'Excellent timing as usual. I just need to get my screwdriver from...'

'Inside the shark,' his mate finished for him as he trailed off.

Yeah, he was definitely in trouble.

'Yeah, okay, but there's a very good reason for it being in there,' he said, giving their closed bond a gentle nudge. Surely he wouldn't stay mad for long, right? He never did.

'Please don't be mad at him,' young Kazran said, surprising the Doctor. He may or may not have forgotten the kid was even there. 'It was my fault. I just wanted to see a fish.'

Haylen looked down at the kid, taking in the worried look on his face with a strange look on his face. What he was thinking, the Doctor had no idea thanks to their silent bond.

Although, he did have to wonder if he was thinking back to the first time he'd met him. He'd been about Kazran's age when he'd met the Doctor, so it wasn't that far a stretch that he might have been reminded of being a similar age.

His Angel's shoulders sank, the tension draining out of him in a rush and pulling their bond open wide once more. The Doctor felt his lungs fill properly for the first time since he'd realised that he couldn't feel his mate.

The emotions that were running through his mate were complicated, a nasty mix of fear, terror, relief, and heart pounding adrenaline that didn't help things at all. There wasn't any anger, he was glad to note, though.

'I am not angry,' Haylen said, still addressing Kazran. 'I was afraid.'

Well, that had to be the first time the Doctor had ever heard his Angel express his emotions verbally, which was interesting. It looked like the other man was about as immune to children as he was.

'Come on,' he said, butting into their conversation gently. 'I doubt she's going to sleep for long, and I still need my screwdriver.'


Haylen wished his heart would calm down. Although, he had to admit that it wasn't really it's fault. Not when he'd finally transported himself through time and space properly, to his mate's side, only to find the man halfway into a giant shark's mouth.

Technically, she wasn't giant, but compared to his mate's vaguely human size, she was massive.

And terrifying.

That was no reason to kill her, though. He'd had his father's mental voice running through his head as he'd gotten that first look, which had helped calm his instinctive response that screamed at him to remove the threat with extreme prejudice.

It helped that the training session his father had put him through had actually managed to exhaust him for once. The small amount of energy he was using to keep Shadow back was really all he had left.

He had been reminded very quickly, in the face of his father's attacks, that he was just a child comparatively. Even the explanation that the other Angel had given him hadn't prepared him for how draining it was to try and defend against an attack of pure grace. The fact that he was dead had done nothing to diminish the sheer size of Azrael's grace, and even then, he knew that his father had been holding back.

While he'd been pleased with Haylen's first try, he had not been impressed that he'd dropped everything when he'd felt the fear rolling off his mate that had to have been in response to the shark trying to attack him. He couldn't bring himself to regret it though, even if his father had been more irritated than he'd expected.

It was that last hit that he'd failed to defend against, largely because of the distraction that his mate had provided, and he'd ended up flat on his back with blood spilling out of a wound on his side.

Luckily, the irritation his father had been feeling hadn't stopped him from helping his son to figure out how to heal himself. He might not have been a healer himself, but he'd lived with one for centuries. Haylen had to assume that you just picked some things up by seeing them play out in front of you over and over again.

They'd moved out of the kid's bedroom, stopping under a dome structure that didn't look finished. He had no way of knowing whether or not that was true though, given that this was an entirely new planet to him. Maybe their architecture just looked like this.

His mate was looking sadly at his sonic screwdriver, or at least, part of it. Clearly, it's trip through the shark hadn't been a pleasant one. Not that it had gone right the way through the shark, but it had still gone further into one than he'd ever like to.

'What's the big fishy done to you?' the Doctor asked his screwdriver sadly. 'Swallowed half of you, that's what. Half a screwdriver, what use is that? Bad, big fishy.'

He turned mournful eyes on Haylen and held the savaged screwdriver up to him. He took it gingerly, turning it over in his hands like he knew anything about sonic screwdrivers. It sparked weakly, so he handed it back silently.

The genuinely sad feeling that was coming from the other man made him pause for a moment. On the one hand, he wanted to say 'it's just a screwdriver,' but on the other, who was the Doctor without his screwdriver? They went hand in hand. If you had one without the other, did you really have what you thought you did?

It clearly pained him to lose it, so he just stood and felt the emotions flowing freely into him through their bond. He bowed his head as he thought of all the times that little screwdriver had protected or saved them.

'Doctor?' Kazran said, cutting through their moment with some worry. 'I think she's dying.'

They turned to look at the shark, taking in the slow way that she was pulling air into her gills. It looked like she was having trouble breathing.

'Half my screwdriver's still inside,' the Doctor said a little petulantly, 'but yeah, I think so. I doubt they can survive long outside the cloud belt. Just quick raiding trips on foggy nights.'

Haylen looked up, spotting the thick clouds that sat heavily in the sky. What happened when the clouds shifted, he wondered. If a fish was down here when they moved away from the city, then would it die?

'Can't we get it back up there?' Kazran asked. 'We were just going to stun it. I didn't want to kill it.'

He was giving them a pleading look. Haylen could see the pain in his eyes as he waited for the adults to fix everything. It was all the more painful, because he could see how tenuous that trust was. He didn't trust adults often. Haylen knew the feeling.

All that meant was that they couldn't fail him.

'She was trying to eat you,' the Doctor said gently. Haylen took a second look at the funny little twinge that ran through their bond. The child was crying.

'She was hungry.'

I'm hungry, Shadow said, an irritated little meow loosing as she spoke. Doesn't anyone care about that?

You can't have her, he replied absently. It really was using more of his grace than he'd like to keep her back. It would be a waste. There's no way you can eat that much fish.

Shadow got a mutinous look on her face at that comment, like she thought he was wrong, but also that she'd like to try anyway.

'I'm sorry Kazran,' the Doctor said, apparently ignoring their conversation. 'I can't save her.'

Haylen let out a near silent huff. If he hadn't used up all his grace working with his father to try and learn some control, he might've been able to try and heal her. Why was he so useless, he wondered, feeling a familiar sensation of self-loathing begin to build inside him.

'I could take her back up there, but she'd never survive the trip,' the Doctor said sadly. 'We need a fully functioning life-support.'

'You mean like an icebox?' the kid asked quickly.

'Show me,' the Doctor replied just as quickly.

Haylen followed behind them as they made their way through the house whose roof they had been on. There was something he needed to ask his mate, but now didn't seem like the best time. Not when they were so busy trying to save the shark's life.

They came to a stop outside a large metal door with a wheel that acted as the locking mechanism. There was snow on the floor outside it, and the cold radiated out from inside through the metal.

'What is this?' the Doctor asked, looking through the single round window. His head blocked the view, so Haylen had no idea what the other man was looking at.

'The surplus population,' Kazran said. 'That's what my dad calls it.'

Both of the others went for the door at the same time, trying to wrench it open, but it wouldn't budge. Haylen watched with a frown for a moment. His mate was stronger than a human, but he had no way of knowing how that strength compared with his own. Should he bother trying to open the door when the Doctor hadn't been able to?

His mate gave up before Kazran, moving over to a keypad that Haylen hadn't spotted earlier.

'What's the number?' he asked, even as he started trying random combinations.

'I don't know.'

'This place is full of alarms,' the Doctor said quickly, still working on the keypad. 'It's not just the door. I need the number. And no, Haylen, you won't be able to get it open either.'

Haylen blinked blankly at his mate. Had he been sending his thoughts through their bond accidentally again? He hadn't realised he'd been thinking so loudly.

'I'm not allowed to know until I'm older,' Kazran said, a worried sort of despair in the words.

The Doctor, though, got a strange look in his eyes as an idea came to him. He spun, giving Haylen a smile that he didn't like one bit.

'You,' he said, pointing at him with all of his usual energy, 'stay here with our young friend. I have to go talk to a sour old man.'

Then he bolted back out of the room before either of them could argue with him.

Haylen turned, looking around himself awkwardly. He never quite knew how to talk to children. It wasn't that he didn't like them, just that they always seemed to pick up on how strange he was.

'Why do you have wings?' Kazran asked. 'Are you an Angel?'

Haylen frowned. If he already knew the answer to his question, then why had he asked.

'Yes,' he said shortly.

He was pathetically glad when his mate ran back into the room. At least he wouldn't be left to interact with the kid alone anymore.

'Seven, two, five, eight,' the Doctor said, racing straight passed both of them and up to the door. 'Seven, two, five, eight.'

Kazran was the one who moved over to the number pad and entered the number, and then the Doctor was spinning the wheel as quickly as he could.

Haylen moved over to help him pull the door open when he spotted how much trouble his mate was having with it. Once he grabbed hold, it moved much more smoothly.

Well, he thought to himself as they stood in front of the icy room, that answered that question. Angels were stronger than Time Lords after all.

It wasn't just ice that they could see. The room had a layer of fog that came up to about their knees, and Haylen found himself grateful for the need to change his wardrobe. If he'd come down here in what he'd been wearing until very recently, his toes might have frozen right off.

'Ah, there's fish down here, too,' the Doctor said, pointing a couple of little ones out to Haylen as they moved into the room.

He hadn't thought to wonder why a shark was attacking his mate before, but it suddenly hit him that that wasn't usual shark behaviour. He'd been far too preoccupied by the fear of his mate being eaten to wonder how it was possible.

'Yeah, but only tiny ones,' Kazran said dismissively. 'The house is built on a fog lake, that's how Dad freezes the people. They're all full, but we could borrow one.'

He made his way through the room with worrying familiarity. Just how often was he brought down here, Haylen had to wonder, that he knew who they needed to remove?

'Yeah, this one,' Kazran said, stopping as he recognised the person they'd be waking up.

'Hello again,' the Doctor said as he got a look at the woman inside.

Haylen frowned at him. Just what had his mate been up to without him?

'You know her?' Kazran asked before Haylen could.

'Why her?' the Doctor asked, instead of replying Haylen noted. When he continued, there was a sly tone that he didn't understand. 'Important, is she?'

'She won't mind,' Kazran said. 'She loves the fish.'

He handed the lantern he'd been holding off to the Doctor as he started pressing buttons on the side of the icebox. A second after he finished, a recording of the woman flickered to life on the window that had shown her frozen form a moment before.

'My name is Abigail Pettigrew, and I'm very grateful for Mister Sardick's kindness. My father-'

'She starts to talk about the fish in a minute,' Kazran said over the recording.

The Doctor had kept moving though, looking in at the frozen people in other iceboxes.

Haylen was finding that he did not like this room. To have all of these people frozen, stopped from living their lives, and for what? It heated something in his blood to the point that he no longer felt the cold.

'Why are all these people here?' the Doctor asked, a quiet tone that soothed the anger that was growing in Haylen. So, he wasn't the only person who had a problem with this. That was good to know. 'What's all this for?'

'My dad lends money,' Kazran said simply. 'He always takes a family member as, he calls it security.'

'Hard man to love, your dad,' the Doctor said. 'But I suppose you know that.'

Haylen turned, following his gaze to see the deadened look in Kazran's eyes. Clearly, he and his father did not get on.

Abigail's recording stopped as the Doctor's screwdriver started giving off little chirps. That got everyone's attention, even if they didn't all know what it meant.

'What's wrong?' Kazran asked, seeing the concerned look on the Doctor's face.

It matched the feelings that were quickly turning into dread that filtered into their bond. That didn't seem promising, Haylen thought as he frowned.

'Just my half a screwdriver trying to repair itself,' the man said, looking at the device as it flashed its green light on and off at a steady pace. 'It's signalling the other half.'

Worryingly, there was something that sounded like an answering blip.

'The other half's inside the shark,' Kazran said, stating the obvious as children often do.

'Yeah?' the Doctor replied, looking around them a little nervously. 'Sounds like she's woken up. Okay, so it's homing in on the screwdriver-'

He cut himself off as the shark leapt up out of the fog, coming at them, mouth wide and ready to snap them in half.

The Doctor and Kazran leapt apart, bolting off into the rows of iceboxes, but Haylen just brought his hand up, a glow of grace forming a shield above him directly in her path. She snarled at him, furious at having been thwarted for a second time, but he didn't particularly care.

He wasn't about to let any of them get eaten just to satisfy her.

She continued to smack into his grace as it shielded him, clearly past the point of rational thought. He did have to wonder if it was hunger, fear, or just complete outrage that was driving her to slam herself into what amounted to a brick wall over and over.

Except a brick wall might crumble after a few hits.

They both paused as a new sound rang through the air. Haylen tilted his head to the side, trying to figure out what he was hearing. Once the other noises stopped, it became clear that it was singing, and it was equally clear that the shark liked it just as much as he did.

He shook his head, trying to shake the hazy feeling from his ears, but it was a losing battle. It was the most beautiful sound that he'd ever heard, and it was soothing something inside his very soul that had been left ragged since he'd thought his mate was going to die.

His grace shield disappeared, the glow pulling back into him without a thought, and he found himself drawn to the person who was singing. He walked slower than the shark swam, trying to fight off the hold the song had over him.

It was no use, though. He found himself sitting beside the now docile shark, listening to Abigail's song while his mind floated on a river of nothingness that felt oddly full. Even Shadow, who he could only assume had slipped away to try and hunt the shark earlier, had found her way over and was now sitting in a large loaf of winged-panther.

There was talking.

Someone was talking behind them, and it was cutting through the song, he thought with a flash of dark irritation. He nearly acted on the urge to throw a slash of power at the noise, but then Abigail smiled at him, and her voice pitched louder, reverberating in a way that covered the sounds and he was lost again.

Azharian.

That sounded like his mother, he thought dully.

Azharian, you cannot put it off any longer.

He blinked, the words sending a whole waterfall of what felt like ice water over him. She was right, there was something he needed to do, and he needed his mate's help to do it.

But they had a shark to save first.

Getting her into Abigail's icebox was easy after that. What wasn't, was convincing Shadow not to eat her while they did it. She followed along behind the box, her eyes locked on it with laser like precision.

Doctor, he said, making his mate turn to him with a strange hesitance. There's somewhere I need you to take me once we get her released.

Are you alright, Haylen?

The look the other man was giving him was piercing, like he already knew just what Haylen was talking about. He cursed their bond for a moment. It was always telling the other man things that he might not have been ready to.

Yes, but there's something I have to do.

He refused to expand on it, knowing just how much his mate wasn't going to like it when he did explain.

The Doctor must have seen it in his eyes, or been told by their bond, because he just nodded, a troubled look on his face.

He was clearly trying to impress their company, Haylen thought almost fondly. The trip up into the clouds was actually pretty still, in fact, if he hadn't known that they'd moved, he have been surprised when the doors opened to reveal just that.

'This is amazing,' Abigail was saying, looking around the Tardis in awe.

'Nah, this is transport,' the Doctor said. Haylen knew that he'd be in trouble for that comment later. The Tardis was not just transport, he thought indignantly. 'I keep amazing out here.'

He threw the doors open wide with his usual vigor, and as usual, it was lost on all of them. It truly was beautiful, Haylen thought as he watched schools of fish swim around them through the air.

He bent down, grabbing Shadow before she could jump right out of the Tardis and getting a face full of leathery wings for his troubles. She growled at him, but didn't bother complaining further, just watching the fish hungrily.

Haylen rolled his eyes at that. It wasn't like she was actually hungry, she just wanted to hunt. Although, she did give him a scratch after they let the shark out who did get to go after the fish.

The timer that the Doctor had set went off, and before he could land them, Haylen planted himself in front of his mate. It was time.

'Right, yes. You,' the Doctor said, eyes a little wide as he took in the resolute look on his mate's face. 'Can it wait until we take Abigail back?'

'No,' he replied. It had to be now, before he chickened out. 'I need you to take me home.'

The look on the other man's face nearly broke his heart, so he hurried to explain.

'There's something that I've been told I need to do, and to do it, I need to go to Vita Aeterna.'

The Doctor's eyes widened, and he let out a quiet 'oh'.

Haylen closed his eyes, focusing on the information he needed, and sent it down their bond. There was a reason that no one had been able to find the home planet of the Angels. It didn't exist in this universe, not properly.

It was a silent trip, and while the two humans seemed to know that something was going on, they didn't ask. They just stood together, watching the two aliens as they worked at the Tardis' console in silence.

The Tardis shook as they passed through what amounted to dead space. They'd apparently used grace from every Angel who'd existed at the time to ward the entrance to their home world, or so Azrael had said.

The landed with a thump, but otherwise in total silence.

Haylen was the first to step out, the Doctor gesturing for him to go first. The sight that met him was immense. It was just a large rock, floating in space. The top was flat, and had a giant staircase leading up to a stone with carvings all over its face. It felt ancient, like every stone had been imbued with the grace of every Angel in existence.

He could hear the Doctor telling the humans to stay with the Tardis, but he wasn't really listening. He was just trying not to let it overwhelm him. He could feel the power in the very ground that he stood on. It was like all that grace was reaching out to greet him.

It felt like coming home.

A heavy hand came down on his shoulder, and he turned to see his mate looking at him with more than a little concern.

He must know, Haylen thought to himself, otherwise he wouldn't be looking at him like that. Only Angels were allowed to set foot in Vita Aeterna, which meant his mate couldn't come with him.

'It'll be alright,' the Doctor said, even though his eyes seemed to be asking more than stating. 'You'll let me know when to come and get you?'

He nodded, feeling the combined grace flowing into him more and more the longer he stood there. Why had any of them ever left if this was what it felt like to be so close to their home?

He turned then, and walked away from the badly hidden worry that was consuming his mate. The idea of flying over the staircase was quickly scrapped. Something inside him was telling him that it wasn't a good idea, even though he had to wonder why there even was a staircase.

They were Angels, so why bother?

They hadn't left, he could feel that much distantly. His mate's eyes were locked on his retreating form as he made his way up the stairs, past torches that flared to life as he did, and up to the very top.

The carvings on the stone that stood at the top were ancient, that much was obvious to see, but they were also a lie. It served as the last line of defense. If anyone managed to make their way to this point who wasn't an Angel, they would think that this stone held the answers that would lead them through the gates of heaven.

He spread his wings wide, letting his grace pool in his veins, his whole body lighting up once more. He lifted his arm, releasing the building energy into the clouds that had gathered. He watched as the light sent the clouds spinning in a spiral pattern, being lit from within thanks to his grace.

He turned then, making eye contact one more time with his mate's worried eyes, before a bolt of lightning struck the spot where he stood.


The sky called to him like nothing ever had. His home world was beyond beautiful. In fact, Haylen didn't have words to describe how he felt as the very air caressed him as if in welcome.

He'd been brought from the top of those stairs to the entry point of their planet, a large silver spiral staircase that went nowhere. It was just floating there, in the middle of the sky.

It made sense, he thought distantly, why only Angels could set foot on Vita Aeterna. Traditions aside, there was no planet surface. It was just a mass of islands and cities floating in the sky. How they'd ever made this a thriving civilization, he didn't know.

He leapt off the silver stairs, letting his wings unfurl and catch him on the wind that blew around him playfully. There was something in the very air that filled a part of his soul that he hadn't even realised was empty before now.

He spent long minutes soaring through the air, circling islands that were no less amazing for the fact that they had long since become ruins. As much as he yearned to have seen his planet with its occupants, it was more than he'd ever dared to hope for to be able to see it at all. When his mate had told him that it had never been found, he'd grieved, but he'd accepted it none-the-less.

Now here he was, letting the wind carry him around the planet of his birth. The place he would have one day ruled, had certain circumstances not gone the way they had. It was such a strange thought.

It wasn't even as though he'd ever wanted power over others, more that they would have been his responsibility one day. And he'd failed them before he'd even had the chance to promise to protect them.

The familiar blue-white light of his father's grace appeared beside him in a flash of sparkling energy. It didn't stop there, though, and transformed into the figure of the man his father had been at one point, if Haylen had to guess.

He nearly fell right out of the sky in his shock at seeing another Angel - a transparent one, but definitely another Angel. He had to wonder how his father hadn't been self-conscious if that was how he'd dressed before he'd died.

The man was wearing metal boots, shoulder plates, gauntlets, and a thick belt that held up the only real piece of clothing that covered him, which was more skirt than anything else. The metal shone in the bright light of the sun that their planet revolved around, adding another layer of intimidation to the thick muscles that coated the man's body.

Long white hair, and longer white wings splayed out behind him, ruffled by the breeze that he'd fallen into instinctively, flying easily alongside Haylen. He didn't even seem to have noticed his son's shock at seeing him.

He turned bright piercing blue eyes on Haylen, a small smile playing on his lips at the surprise still clear on his face.

'My son,' the transparent version of his father said. 'It is good to see you back where you belong.'

'Is this- what is this?' Haylen asked, telling himself he wasn't hoping for what he was. There was no way that any of them had survived, right?

'The ambient grace that soaked into our planet over the millennia is enough to sustain my form outside of your body,' he replied gently. 'My own body is long since gone.'

So he could have his father back, but only when they were here. It wasn't ideal, but it was more than he'd ever known to hope for.

'So, what do you think?' Azrael asked, his smile widening as he turned to take in their home. His wings moved lazily, allowing the air currents to move them around with the ease of a lifetime of practice.

'It's beautiful,' Haylen replied, eyes stinging as he took in what should have been familiar islands.

'It is,' his father said quietly.

And it really was. The greens of nature had completely overtaken some of the islands in the years since the Angels had disappeared, but there were still the remnants of their civillisation here and there. There were crumbling fountains, the ruins of buildings that had collapsed from neglect, and paved roads that tree roots had broken through as they'd grown.

'But there is something we came here to do,' Azrael said after a moment.

He wasn't wrong, but Haylen wasn't sure if he was ready. His mother had left the knowledge in his head, but was this really necessary?

'Do I have to?' he asked, voice as small and unsure as he felt in that moment.

His father turned, taking in the uncertainty that swept over his son. 'When you were born, your mother told me that you'd inherited her grace.

'I can admit to some disappointment,' the man said, sending a small smile to Haylen when he looked at him. 'I'd had hopes of training you myself, teaching you the joys of fighting side by side with your brothers in arms, helping you figure out which weapon you favoured, that sort of thing.'

He paused, lost in thought for a moment, but Haylen could feel his heart sinking in his chest. He'd disappointed his father from the moment he'd been born.

'But so few of us are born to be healers,' the man continued after a moment. 'So when you were, it was cause for much celebration. I was happy for your mother, that she could pass on her knowledge when the time came, but I'd hoped- well. I'd hoped you might be a warrior, like your old man.'

Haylen was glad for the story, even if it hurt. The fact that it was giving him a bit more time before they had to get to why they'd come was only a bonus.

'Healers are stronger,' he said bluntly, turning the blue eyes that he shared on him. 'So it makes sense that they need a different type of training to warriors. It isn't something that I can tell you about, since it was a secret known only by other healers. Your mother never went into any detail about the process, but whatever it is, it lets them master their grace that last little bit that warriors don't. They don't need to rely on their instincts the way that we do, and this, apparently, lets them take a step back.'

He could see the benefit of that, he thought as memories of his meltdown swamped him. Hurting others didn't appeal to him in the least. If this test could help him to get a bit more control over his instincts, then it couldn't be all bad, right?

'Normally, healers only attempt the final test after a century of training. And they don't start training until they finish puberty,' Azrael said, voice heavy with regret. 'Unfortunately, we haven't had that luxury. You grew up as a human, and they have much shorter lives, so we're about ten years too late and eighty years too soon for you to even start your training. When we add in your mate, we cannot put this off any longer.'

He nodded.

It made sense, even if he was a little worried about it. Not knowing what he was going to have to do was making him anxious, but he also knew that his father wouldn't do anything that would hurt him.

He followed the other man as he veered off the aimless path they had been winding through the sky. They flew for a while before dipping down to fly under the level that the majority of the islands had been at.

After another moment, his father angled himself down into a steep dive, and Haylen followed hesitantly.

He'd been wrong, before. There was a surface of their planet, but it was entirely covered in water, and his father was heading straight for it. He might be dead, but Haylen had no intention of joining him any time soon. Did he know how much slamming into water from this height would hurt?

The man raised his arms, a blue-white glow forming between his hands like a small ball of light. Just before they reached it, he threw the ball at the surface of the water. It went straight through, leaving barely a ripple behind, and then a massive circular hole ripped itself open where Azrael's grace had hit.

They flew through it, Haylen looking at the strange ocean creatures that apparently lived in the waters of his home planet with some surprise. If he wasn't mistaken, there was something not too far from them that looked like Shadow, except it very clearly had a pair of gills on the side of its neck.

They kept moving until they reached the bottom where the hole opened up to regular space. The water stopped by some unknown force, sitting in place of a sky to the ground beneath it.

Azrael landed first, sending pieces of his grace off to torches that hung on the walls every few feet without a thought.

'Before they found the skies, our people used to live down here,' Azrael said, walking toward a large crumbling building that looked even older than the ones on the floating islands. 'By the time that I was born, the only people who even knew this place existed was the Divine family, and the healers.'

The blue-white of his father's grace just made the place look creepy, Haylen thought privately. It flickered on the walls, projecting an eery glow onto everything that he could've done without.

'Come, it's not too much further.'

Haylen followed behind, trying not to think about the fact that he was very much hiding behind his father's wings. It didn't matter that the other man was dead, or that they hadn't had the best relationship up until now. He still felt much safer with the other man walking in front of him.

When he stopped, Haylen walked into surprisingly solid feathers, spluttering at the feeling of a mouthful of feathers.

'We're here,' his father said around a chuckle.

Haylen poked his head around his father's transparent form and gasped. It was strangely enticing, the way that a single beam of sunlight shone down on the large crystal through a crack in the roof. The rest of the room lay in shadows, but the light fell over the floating crystal like it couldn't help itself.

'This is the final test,' his father said, shifting out of the way to give him a better look. 'I don't know much about it, just that you have to meditate in front of it. I wish I could give you more information.'

Haylen shook his head. It wasn't ideal, but he was used to not having all the information, and if his father thought this was what he needed to do, then he'd do it. If this would help him to finally get some measure of control over his grace, then he'd do anything.

He walked toward it, entranced by the way the light seemed to bring out sparkling lights in the crystal. As he sat before it, he realised that the light wasn't coming from the sun. It was the crystal that was emitting the light, coming from deep within it.

The sparkles weren't sparkles, he realised as he looked closer. They were stars. He was looking at the stars, and they were moving.

They started to shift faster, almost spinning and dancing now that they had an audience. The crystal shone brighter, the circle of its light moving out to envelop him in a flash of white.

When he opened his eyes again, he was standing on a familiar beach, Shadow in a ready stance at his side. He was watching his mate walk away from him, toward what looked like an astronaut that was coming up out of the lake he was looking at.

What was this?

He'd been on Vita Aeterna a moment before, hadn't he?

His power was roiling around under his skin, waiting for something. He found out what that something was when the astronaut lifted its hand and fired at his mate. Nothing else existed except the sound of those shots, and the way that his mate fell to his hands and knees.

His sister ran forward only to be held back by River and Rory, but he didn't move. He was frozen, watching his mate stand, beginning to glow with a very familiar golden light.

A third blast came from the astronaut before anything else could happen, and a shock wave of energy blasted out from the impact. The golden light was gone, and his mate was dead.

Properly dead.

Never coming back, dead.

His mind refused to think past that thought. It echoed through him, accompanied by the sound of something snapping. It was their bond, he realised dully. It had to be.

His grace burned inside him, but that was fine. What was life now that his mate was dead?

It burst out of him in a wave of destruction, dissolving everything in its path. He didn't even hear Shadow's howl of pain, or Amy's, Rory's, or River's, because he was gone too. He was just a mass of vindictive light that was going to destroy everything that had ever lived.

Then there was nothing.

When he opened his eyes again, he was standing on a familiar beach, Shadow in a ready stance at his side. He was watching his mate walk away from him, toward what looked like an astronaut that was coming up out of the lake he was looking at.

He dropped to his knees, the shaking limbs doing nothing to hold him up. What was going on, he asked himself wildly. Why was he back before it happened? It had happened, and nothing could undo time.

The astronaut fired again, and his mate died while he was stuck in his own mind.

His grace burst out of him again, ripping his body to pieces in the process and destroying everything in its path once more.

Then there was nothing.

When he opened his eyes again, he was standing on a familiar beach, Shadow in a ready stance at his side. He was watching his mate walk away from him, toward what looked like an astronaut that was coming up out of the lake he was looking at.

He screamed, a sound that made everything stop. They were all turning toward him, but he didn't care, because the astronaut was firing on his mate again.

His knees buckled under him, his whole body shaking at having to see this again. Having to feel this again.

His grace was going to shatter him again, building inside him to the point of pain. It didn't matter how hard he tried to pull it back, or let it dissipate. It was responding to his heart breaking, and all it wanted to do was kill.

His body cracked like an egg, the pressure building past what he could handle. Light shot out from the cracks, puncturing everything it touched. Shadow's cry brought his attention to the bloody hole in her side. It was roughly the size of his fist, but it was his grace that had caused it.

Rory was laying on the ground, dying again thanks to him.

His grace burst out of him again, the shock wave of murderous energy killing everything in its path.

Then there was nothing.

When he opened his eyes again, he was standing on a familiar beach, Shadow in a ready stance at his side. He was watching his mate walk away from him, toward what looked like an astronaut that was coming up out of the lake he was looking at.

This was hell.

He'd always wondered, somewhere in the back of his head, whether or not such a place really existed.

Now he knew it did.

His mate fell once more.

The sound of something snapping was the only sound he could hear. It had to be their bond. What else could hurt this much?

Instead of the golden-white light he was almost expecting at this point, wisps of black were drifting up off his skin. He turned his shaking hands over, watching in horror as his fingers lengthened, his nails growing and contorting into wickedly sharp claws.

What was happening now?!

He roared, the sound ripping out of him, tearing his throat open. It was nothing compared to the pain of his heart shattering again.

His grace poured out of him, as dark as the burnt remains of his heart inside his chest. He didn't just let it loose this time though. His eyes met the horrified ones that belonged to the people he'd grown up with.

He tilted his head to the side, a lock of now pure white hair falling into view. A thick, sticky liquid dripped out of one of his eyes, but he didn't care. It was far too late for regrets.

He lifted a hand and sent what could laughably be called grace toward the humans.

They screamed, and he laughed.

When he opened his eyes again, he was standing on a familiar beach, Shadow in a ready stance at his side. He was watching his mate walk away from him, toward what looked like an astronaut that was coming up out of the lake he was looking at.

He screamed.

It was wordless, and ripped his throat open yet again.

'Let me out!' he begged, tears coursing down his cheeks. 'I can't do it.'

His mate died.

Again.

He realised with sudden clarity what the snapping was. It wasn't their bond at all.

It was his mind.

He finally understood how the Angels could have turned on their allies in their grief. They went mad, and he finally understood, with painful, crystal clear clarity.


Azrael stood, watching his son with some concern. He wished, not for the first time, that he'd thought to ask Celebrian what the final test had been like. At the very least, he could have known what to tell Azharian to expect.

He'd worried, of course. He was a parent, and not only had he lost his life to protect his people, but then he'd forsaken them in favour of his son. He couldn't bring himself to regret it, though.

He'd do it all again, even knowing what would happen to his people.

He was a selfish, selfish man.

Maybe he should have remembered the way his mate had come back, the almost cold way that she had regarded others once she'd finally become certified. Something clearly happened, but what? What test could possibly need such secrecy?

Azharian screamed then, a sound that sent ice down his spine and into his heart. Before he could do anything, though, a barrier of light formed between them, and sigils lit the air around his son, chaining him to the ground.

The two tone wings tried to struggle, but they were bound too tight.

He beat uselessly against the barrier, using grace that he couldn't afford to lose, trying to reach his son as he screamed and cried. His heart broke in two, hearing the heartbroken sounds and knowing that he couldn't get in to help him.

A flare of brilliant white-golden light beside him did nothing to pull his gaze away from his son's bound form.

'He isn't doing very well,' his mate's familiar voice said, sounding irritated much to his surprise.

'We have to help him,' he snapped, still trying to force his way in.

'It's your fault he's having so much trouble in the first place,' Celebrian said coldly.

That got his attention.

He turned, taking in the cold anger in her eyes.

'What is that supposed to mean?' he demanded.

'If you hadn't chosen to die, like a coward, he would have grown up as one of us,' she returned, a fire coming back into her eyes that thawed the cold facade.

'It was a fixed point,' he ground out frostily. 'I didn't choose to die.'

She snorted, flicking her bright crimson hair behind her carelessly. 'If you'd cared about any of us, you'd have tried to stop it.'

He saw red. How dare she say that he didn't care about his people. About his son! He loosed a wave of grace at her, which was met with an almost bored wave of her own grace. They crashed together, shoving each of them back. It was a familiar action, and neither was moved very far.

'How dare you blame me for this!'

'I'm sorry,' she said, not at all sorry, 'who else should I blame?'

'How about the person who sent my son away!' He returned hotly. That wasn't something he'd okayed, let alone known about.

'Hmph,' she huffed, unimpressed. She didn't move to answer any further though, just turning to look at their son again.

There was a worrying shade that was coming off his grace. Little wisps of something that was more shadow than light.

'Pathetic,' she said before turning back to him.

'And how would you have fared,' he demanded, 'had you gone through the final test before a single moment of training?!'

'I grew up learning to control myself,' she answered tightly.

'What exactly, does this test do?' he asked, cold fingers gripping at his heart as a thought occurred to him.

'It stops us from having to rely on our mates,' she said bluntly. 'The mating bond has always been a weakness. This just removes that weakness from the process.'

'What?'

He was horrified. That was the only thing they did better than warfare. It was a part of them, the way they devoted themselves to their mates was the counterpoint to their more violent ways. It was a part of the balance; the only reason they were able to remove the evil from the world.

That was the deal.

They were strong, yes, unbelievably so. But their mates were supposed to be the guiding voice of reason. If they could choose not to care, then what would they become?

What had they become?

What had he been tricked into forcing his son to become?

His grace rumbled wildly, his form getting hazy at the edges from the strength of his unrest. There had to be a way to stop this. Clearly, his mate (and how he regretted that, now) wasn't going to help him save their son, and his grace alone was just not strong enough to get through this stupid barrier.

His thoughts stilled as his eyes came to rest on his son's bound form.

There was an answer, one that just might work, but it went against everything he'd ever been told. Those shadowy wisps were getting stronger though, and as he was watching, Haylen's head swung back, his eyes and mouth open in a silent scream. But it wasn't light pouring out of his eyes, it was shadow. His eyes were little more than black recesses of darkness.

Nothing was more important than his son.

He just had to pray that his son could forgive him for what had happened. His form disappeared in a burst of blue-white light, reverting to pure grace and slipping into the force field that had been keeping him from his only child. He forced his way through, hoping that even if he didn't get there, it would rip the shield into pieces.

It worked though. He let his grace form a body once more and knelt before his son's unseeing eyes. His hands gently brought Haylen's head back to a more comfortable position pillowed on his chest for a moment. He brought his head down to rest against the top of his son's, a single tear escaping him and landing on the crown bright red hair that his cheek rested on.

'Do not fear, my son,' he whispered, ignoring the ghost of his mate as she snarled at him. 'I will fix my mistake, or bring you someone who can.'

He stood then, cupping his son's cheek and just taking him in. He pulled back, rage pouring through him as bloody tears poured down Haylen's cheeks from the black holes that used to be his eyes, and let his hand drop to his side in a familiar movement.

His grace formed the solid sword that he'd taken into battle time and time again, a single bubble of a muted golden-white set like a jewel on the pommel. He brought it up over his head and drove it into the ground in front of his son's bound form with a shout.

Light burst out from the place where his sword met the ground, taking hold of each individual sigil and link of the ghostly chains holding his son and ripping them to shreds using the strength of his emotions to fuel the action.

He allowed himself one moment to take in the way his grace was gently cradling his son, wiping away the darkness from his body and grace. Then he let his form go, returning to grace and dissolving back into his son's mind.

He wasn't done, though.

Haylen had very few bonds, which was a blessing now even if it was just plain wrong. Although, he thought to himself as he took in the brightness of the bond he was looking for, even if he'd had a bond with every Angel who'd ever existed, he wouldn't need more than a moment to find this one. It was the strongest mental bond he'd ever seen, shining brightly in the darkness that was trying to take over inside his son's mind.

It was doing a better job of protecting Haylen than he had, he thought ruefully. It was his fault that this was happening in the first place. What right did he have to ever offer advice again? It looked like his son really would have been better off without him.

He shook himself, diving into the multi-coloured light that was the bond his son shared with the Time Lord and following it all the way to the other man's mind.

He paused, confused by the strange thoughts flitting about in the Doctor's mind. They weren't in Enochian, English, or any language that he spoke. If he wasn't wrong, then the man thought in Gallefrayan. Hopefully, he'd still be able to understand his thoughts when he tried to explain what was wrong.

Hello there, the Doctor's voice said, a darkness in the back of the words that he knew he wouldn't have heard if they were having a physical conversation. Who are you, and how did you do that?

We do not have time for this, he returned hurriedly. He'd bought them some time, but they couldn't waste it. Haylen is in trouble. I can take you to him, but we need to hurry.

Azrael was not surprised by the sharp promises of death that the other man's thought made even if he hadn't made them an actual thought. It was nothing in the face of the knowledge that he was at fault for this.

He'd never forgive himself for hurting his son.


There was always something else, he thought, though there was an edge of the Oncoming Storm in his thoughts. He'd just managed to convince Kazran to save everyone on that ship, and had been watching the old man have one last day with his love when an unfamiliar presence shot into his mind from the bond that he shared with his mate.

The man had proven useful in the past, but he wasn't sure he would ever forgive Azrael for putting his mate in danger. Helping him find his Angel helped, but not enough.

He landed the Tardis with a bang, barely pausing to send her an apologetic thought before bolting out the doors as fast as his legs could carry him. Amy and Rory were at his heels, but he just did not care. If it was dangerous for humans, he'd have to deal with that later.

Haylen was laying in a heap on the ground, in front of a crystal that seemed to hold a view of the untempered schism. That wasn't good. He knew what that did to Gallefrayan's, but he had no idea what it would do to an Angel.

He landed on his knees in front of his mate, blocking the view of the crystal that Haylen had been staring blankly into. He took his Angel's head in his hands, heedless of the bloody streaks that smeared across the other man's face as he did.

The other side of their bond was silent, but in a far scarier way than it ever had been before. When the Angel had learned to block the bond, it had been a good thing. It meant that he was learning, getting stronger, but this was nothing like that.

There was just nothing on the other side at all.

'Haylen?' he called, looking into deadened eyes that seemed to stare right through him. 'Haylen!'

Amy and Rory had fallen to their knees on either side of the Angel, both trying to reach him in their own ways; Amy by picking up a too cold hand and rubbing it while calling his name, and Rory by carefully checking his vitals, the nurse in him coming out over an emotional response.

'Come on,' he begged, 'you can't give up yet. We've got so much left to see. Come on, Angel, come back to me.'

'There is nothing you can do,' a woman's voice said from behind them.

The Doctor spared her a single glance, taking in the way that she stood back from what looked like a glowing shield of some sort and deciding he didn't care about her. She couldn't get to them, and that was all that mattered.

'He was too weak,' she continued coldly. 'He failed us.'

'He is the strongest person I know,' he spat back, still looking his Angel in the eyes for all the good it was doing.

'No wonder,' her words were like poison, eroding his fraying hold on the Oncoming Storm with each new syllable. 'You surround yourself with humans.'

He would just have to deal with her later, he promised himself.

'That's enough,' he said, a terrible anger rolling through him as fear took hold.

He brought his hands up to his Angel's temples, slipping into darkness with a thought.

What had happened? It was worse than when they'd met the Star Whale, so much worse. His mind wasn't just injured, it had been destroyed. All that was left were the three bonds he had. Well, that and the darkness.

Panic threatened to overwhelm him. How was he supposed to bring him back from this? Was there even enough of him left to save?

He mentally slapped himself. He couldn't give up, not when his mate was counting on him. If there was one thing he knew, it was that he would not give up. He wasn't prepared to face a universe without his Angel in it.

He blinked, looking from Amy's desperately hopeful face to Rory's empty eyes that hadn't moved from Haylen's still form.

'We need to get him into the Tardis,' he said quickly. He absolutely could've moved the Angel on his own, but he knew that he wasn't the only person who loved Haylen. They all needed to know that he'd be alright, and that meant sharing the burden.

Amy ran for the doors, holding them open as they maneuvered him inside awkwardly, her expression never once wavering as they moved him into the infirmary. A few button presses later, and a white glow came up to envelop his body, taking all sorts of readings that just didn't matter.

A worried sounding chirp sounded in the room, the lights flickering almost sadly at the sight. The Doctor sighed, rubbing a hand against one of the walls. He knew just how she felt. It was his mate that was lying there, too still to be healthy. It didn't help that he knew just how empty the other man's head was, either.

There was all of one thing he could think of to help, and even then, it wasn't a sure thing.

He left the room, his face set in a grim determination. He couldn't stop trying. Ever.

Amy's voice echoed after him, protesting him just leaving her brother in the infirmary alone, but that didn't matter. Did she really think he was just going to go about his life like nothing had changed? Did she know him so little?

When they caught up to him, he'd already brought them to their next destination. They might've been a bit worse for the wear though, since he hadn't bothered to use any stabilizing features in his hurry.

Oh well, they'd live, he thought to himself darkly.

He shoved the doors open, waiting for the lone occupant of the cell he'd landed the Tardis in to enter before shutting them again firmly. Her questions died on her tongue at the look on his face, he was glad to see. He didn't want to be answering any questions when all it was doing was wasting time.

He set them down again, this time in Amy's backyard, his hearts heavy. If he managed to bring his mate's mind back, they might all choose not to keep traveling with him. Haylen was strong enough now, and their bond wouldn't force them to finish the process for a long time.

The Doctor turned to head back to his Angel's side, and was met with a vicious slap that had his head swinging to the side painfully. He brought a hand up to massage his cheek, looking at River's furious face in confusion.

'What was that for?' he demanded. This time, it really wasn't his fault.

'What is rule one?' she hissed, her hair fluffing up in her anger.

'Don't wander off,' he said, still completely confused.

'Not anymore,' she snapped, her eyes bright with anger and what looked suspiciously like tears. 'Repeat after me, Doctor; Haylen doesn't go off on his own.'

'Haylen doesn't go off on his own,' he whispered, feeling his own eyes fill with tears. He blinked them back, only partially successful.

She was right. This was his mate, he never should have let him go, not when he'd felt like something was very wrong from the second that he'd stepped away.

'Very good,' River said, her own tears refusing to be blinked back. She softened, seeing the look on his face, which just made him feel worse. 'He's just so young, Doctor.'

She shook her head, a look on her face that he thought he might understand a little too well. Did she...?

He shook his head, pushing the thought away. It didn't matter, not right now. River seemed to understand that their conversation was over, turning to go back to Haylen now that she'd delivered her message.

He followed her silently, regret pouring through him. She was right, he never should have let him go.

The sight that met him when he walked back into the infirmary was yet another that he knew would haunt him for the rest of his life. His Angel was laying where he'd left him, but from this angle he looked just a little too still, just a little too limp with his wings hanging uselessly off the sides of the bed.

Amy's face was wet with tears that refused to stop, and her shoulders shuddered every few seconds despite Rory's solid presence behind her, holding her close. Rory's eyes met his over Amy's head, and he heard River's words echo in his mind, searing their way into their new position in place of rule one.

Haylen doesn't go off on his own.

Never again.

'Amy, you're going to take his right hand,' he started, talking like he knew this would definitely work. 'River, you get his left. When I say, we're all going to try and reach his mind. He's locked it away to try and protect himself from whatever that crystal did to him.'

He turned to Rory, but saw him shaking his head already.

'No, I'll be keeping an eye on his vitals,' Rory said firmly, moving away from Amy to stand next to the equipment that held the readings. 'He said he was connected to the Tardis, so she's going to be trying to reach him too, right?'

He moved over to the other man, giving him a pat on the shoulder and looking deep into his eyes. 'Thank you.'

'You forget, Doctor,' Rory said bluntly. 'I've known Haylen my whole life. He might be your mate, but he's as good as my brother.'

He nodded grimly, moving over to take his place at the head of Haylen's bed. He placed his hands at Haylen's temples again, and nodded, listening to Amy speaking through tears, trying her best to reach her brother. River was silent, but he could feel the emotions flooding into his mate's mind through the bond she shared with the Angel.

The Tardis was next, a soothing presence that felt like home floating slowly into his mate's mind. He felt his hearts clench at the strength of her love for his Angel. It was obvious in the gentle way she was handling their bond. He could only hope that it helped.

It had to.

He mentally closed his eyes, letting all those feelings waft over him as they sent little pulses through the darkness that should have been a mind. Was it hopeless, he asked himself as despair began to reach its way through the determination he'd been holding onto with everything he had.

An echo of a reprimanding thought twinged off the spot where their bond was closed, and his eyes flew open. He'd felt something. There was still something left, something they could reach.

He screwed his eyes shut again, diving back into Haylen's empty mind as easily as he ever had. He moved through the other end of their bond, expanding his touch until he could feel the very edges. Then he swept through.

If his mate had tried to hide his mind, then the only place that he could have, was halfway out of his head. The only bond he had that was strong enough for that, whether he knew it or not, was theirs.

Tears once more slipped down his cheeks as he found it.

He'd been right. His mate had tried to get away from whatever the crystal had been doing by trying to leave. Now that he'd found him, he was sure he could bring him back.


His eyes opened and he flinched, shutting them in denial immediately. His mind felt so raw, and he didn't want to do it anymore.

He'd been sure he'd managed to stop the test, even if he'd failed it. There had finally been blissful silence. No more death, no more pain.

But he'd opened his eyes.

That meant that the vision was back.

He was going to see his mate die again. And there was nothing he could do to stop it.

'That's it, Haylen,' his mate was saying, 'open your eyes for me.'

That wasn't right, he thought sluggishly. Not once, no matter what he'd done, had his mate had time to say anything. Had he finally managed to change something? But how?

'You open your eyes right now, Haylen, or you're in big trouble!'

That was his sister. She sounded like she'd been crying. It was wrong. Amy shouldn't cry, she was too strong, too willful to ever sound so defeated.

He blinked, his eyes obeying his sister's command without permission. The world looked wrong though, he thought dully. Something really had changed.

He wasn't even on that beach anymore.

His wings ached, and his stomach was telling him that bad things were about to happen.

It was right.

He rolled over, barely getting his wing out of the way before he threw up all over the floor.

The room was full of people, but that was okay. The concerned voices overlapping as they all moved to try and help him was actually a welcome sound, especially considering the only sounds he'd been forced to hear over and over for who knew how long, had been the sounds of his mate's death, and the pained cries of his family as he killed them accidentally.

He was crying, he realised as he hiccuped, clinging to his sister who'd gotten to him first after he'd been sick.

'I'm sorry,' he whispered, repeating it as every single time he'd caused her death hit him as he met her teary eyes.

'It's okay,' she answered each time, a soothing reply even though he knew how she'd look at him if she knew what he'd done.

His mate's hand landed on his back, sitting between his wings as he gently moved it up and down.

They were all being so kind, and he needed the reassurance, but he also knew he didn't deserve it. Not when he knew what would happen to them if he ever lost his mate.

He was a monster.