Chapter 31: Red teardrop


~ While all deception requires secrecy, all secrecy is not meant to deceive. ~


The thick air charged with the pungent smell of rainfall was suffocating me. Then again, everything seemed to be suffocating me now. Especially the truth.

"Breathe, Bella," Alice cooed softly. "Just breathe."

"I can't believe it. I just...can't." I sniffled into the paper bag.

"I know, I know." She rubbed my back in a comforting way that made me yearn for my mom.

I lifted my head out of the paper bag. "Why is this happening to me?"

"How do I know?" she groaned. "Please, Bella. If you want to stop hyperventilating, breathe into the bag. You're turning pale."

How could Edward do this to me? It was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. Somewhere in the way, Edward had clearly turned on me.

I breathed into the bag again and after Alice was sure that I was breathing normally, she crushed the paper bag and threw it in the dustbin.

"No, no, Edward would never do something like that to me." My voice broke. "He loves me."

We were in my room with the huge window thrown open so that I could get fresh air. After Alice had delivered that heart breaking message, I didn't have the power in me to hold myself up. My legs became jelly and just as I wobbled unsteadily, my vision became blank.

After Alice had hauled me in, using the extra set of keys to open the door -my parents weren't home- she'd explained to me that I was in shock.

"I think you're going through the various stages of grief. Although I don't think Denial is the first among them." Alice tapped her chin thoughtfully.

I barely listened to her. My mind was on Edward and the dark group he had joined. Did he really join? I knew Alice genuinely cared for me. But was she telling the truth? Maybe she misheard.

A part of me still wanted to defend him but the other part of me was just...sick and tired.

I got up suddenly and started rearranging the silver combs, makeup sets, mascara tubes, perfume bottles, hairspray bottles and hairpins on the dresser. I needed distraction. I didn't want to dwell too much on Edward's still-not-sure betrayal.

"Do you want me to call someone? Maybe Sasha?" Alice nervously eyed my OCD behavior.

I sighed and slumped against the dresser. "I don't want to feel like this. Do you really think Edward would do that to me?"

"I'm not sure what to believe anymore. I mean, that boy clearly adores you. He basically worships the ground you walk on." She bit her ultra pink bottom lip.

I slightly relaxed at her understanding tone and rubbed my wet eyes.

"I should just ask him." I said dully. Would he accept that he lied and come clean?

"No!" Alice jumped to her feet and adjusted her pink blazer.

"Why not?" I gave her a suspicious once-over. I had everything right to be guarded and cautious now.

"You have to force it out of him," she mused. "You know, do things that will make him guilty and then make him break down."

I stared at her. "Like in A Christmas carol? Seriously?"

"Exactly!" Alice snapped her fingers.

After some time, she cleared her throat. "James mentioned during that sick meeting that the next conference meeting was on 19th. Which is today."

"Oh," I whispered, feeling dizzy.

"You have to go, Bella. It's in the same place." Alice shifted from one foot to another. "I'll meet you there if you want."

"I..I don't know. I have to think about it." I swallowed slowly.

"You have to." She insisted urgently. "It's the perfect opportunity to spy on Edward."

Was it?


The next morning, I arranged with Sasha to pick me up for school instead. It reminded me of the time when Edward and I had shortly broken up. This time was worse than that.

At least he'd told the truth that time. Now, I wasn't so sure. He loves me. I hated that I had to keep on reminding myself that before I could break down and slip into depression.

My voice was dry and rough from crying, so I texted Edward and told him that Sasha was taking me to school. He immediately texted back with a single why? I didn't reply.

As soon as Sasha found an empty space in the school's parking lot, Edward got out of his car and came straight to us.

"Hey, love." Edward opened the door for me.

Sasha raised her eyebrow silently from the driver seat. She was the only one who knew what had happened yesterday with Alice. She had given me a ride home last evening, so she wouldn't stop pestering me with questions on the way till I broke down and finally told her.

"Hey." I took a deep breath and cleared my throat.

"Are you okay?" he frowned in concern as he took my olive green leather backpack.

"Yeah, I'm...fine." I nearly had to spit out the word. I didn't even know what that word meant anymore.

"You look pale." He wrinkled his nose and continued to examine my face. "You're turning a lovely shade of green."

"I'm just...a little tired." I let out a breath.

"Do you have the flu?" Edward's green eyes widened. "Carlisle said that there are many flu cases this week at the hospital."

"That has to be it." I nodded like everything was normal when it really wasn't.

He shouldered my backpack and threw an arm around my shoulder. Oh, why was he doing this? Why was he acting like he cared? I wondered if I could keep up the I'm-so-sick act and ditch school.

I also wondered if Edward would follow me. I knew he would.

"I'll tell Carlisle to take a look at you," he grinned at me. "All you have to do is come to my house this evening."

I froze in my tracks. Please Edward, quit the sweet boyfriend act. It was too much for me. The Edward Alice told me about yesterday and the Edward standing next to me now were two completely different persons.

It almost made me forgot about the whole deflower-a-virgin thing. Almost.

"I'll think about it." I said faintly. Edward's eyes narrowed and he stopped in front of me.

"Bella, love, what's wrong?" His voice was worried and suspicious at the same time..

"Can we not talk about it now?" I forced a smile for Alice's sake. She had clearly stated yesterday that she didn't want me to mope in front of Edward.

"Can we not talk about what?" Edward's expression was very patient.

"I'm late for my class." I took a hasty step forward. Away from him.

"But the bell didn't ring yet..." I heard Edward say indistinctly as I pushed through the crowd.

Avoiding Edward was the most difficult thing I had ever done in my entire life. It was like avoiding an approaching Christmas. It was going to come anyway, no matter how much you run from it.

During lunch, Edward wouldn't stop asking me what was wrong. I wanted to reply, Everything but I kept assuring him that I was fine. I didn't know if it was that obvious that sitting with Edward was a pure torture.

"Bella," he sighed for the hundredth time. "I'm not going to back down till you tell me what's troubling you. You've barely said a word to anyone."

"I'm not always talkative." I defended myself.

"Who are you and what have you done to my Bella?" Edward scowled stubbornly.

"Jeez chill, Eddie," Heidi drawled sweetly. "Bella's having the time of her month. That's all."

"Heidi!" I turned beet red. Everyone at the table turned to stare at me.

"Oh, I see." Edward smiled but his eyes were tight.

"What do you see?" Alec leaned forward eagerly. I shot him a glare and he laughed loudly.

However, after school, Edward kissed me on the cheek and willingly let me go with Sasha. I was immediately on alert. Was he going to meet with that same group? This time, I knew where he was going.

Sasha's car was an ordinary blue Honda, almost everyone in the town owned a car that looked exactly like hers. So, I asked her if I could borrow her car for the evening. I didn't tell her my ultimate motive behind it. I was going to follow Edward.

Well, stalk Edward. However you want it.

Edward wouldn't know that it was me, he would think that it was just someone in the town going on the same route.

I hovered near my cell phone, unsure if I had to call Alice and tell her the change of plan. She hadn't suggested anything about tracking Edward's moves but I shrugged and pocketed my cell phone.

Alice had told me to meet her near the old storage house where the meeting was going to take place. I decided to follow Edward's car instead. He was going to the same destination, anyway.

I hid inside Sasha's car, which was parked near Alec's house, and watched Edward's house. Right on cue, Edward jogged down the small staircase that led to his home's main door and got inside the car.

When he passed me, he looked straight at me. I shrank back even though I knew all he saw was a girl in a long black coat with a black silk scarf wrapped around the head and the face masked by huge black sunglasses.

Very creative, right?

I started the engine and followed him, staying a few cars behind. Every once in a while, I felt his gaze on my car through the rear view mirror. I was thankful when he didn't decide to stop the car and call the cops.

Suddenly, confusion stirred inside me when I saw him park the car outside a small shop. Thelma's Flower shop, the brightly lit board above the shop read. My fingers drummed nervously on the steering wheel.

What was he doing? Why was he here?

Minutes later, he emerged out of the shop with a bunch of flowers in his hand.

I sat in a confused daze all the way to my house.

I threw Sasha's car keys on top of the dresser and flopped on the bed. I had never felt so confused in my entire life. Didn't Alice tell me that Edward was going to meet with James and the others today?

Then why did he go to a flower shop instead and went straight to home? Was Alice lying to me? The questions were unbearable and purely suffocating.

I changed into a grey tank top and pink yoga pants and started doing my homework. I welcomed it as a happy distraction. About an hour later, a knock sounded on my door.

"Yeah?"

Mom poked her head in. "Edward's here."

My heart leapt to my throat and I started to sweat a little. Mom's eyes narrowed at my reaction and I told her to let him in before she could start giving me the if-he-ever-hurts-you-dad-will-shoot-him speech.

I adjusted myself on the bed and pretended to work out a few problems.

"Bella?" Edward hesitantly opened the door and came in.

He had different clothes on and looked freshly showered. A few water droplets still lingered on his tousled auburn hair.

"What's up?" I closed the books and sat up straighter.

"I got you these," Edward smiled dazzlingly.

He had a bouquet of attractively arranged bunch of different colored flowers in his hand . It was tied neatly with a pretty red bow. So, he had bought them for me.

"Thank you." I felt close to tears as I took it from him.

I sniffed it and various scents flooded my senses. Why, oh why, was he doing this to me?

He awkwardly hovered near the bed, with a hand buried in his hair. I placed the bouquet on top of the pink ottoman.

"Sit down." I patted the bed and sat few feet away from him.

"Can we talk?" he asked after a few seconds. He looked nervous and his fingers kept drumming on his knee.

I paused, not sure how to respond. He was here and not on the old storehouse that Alice had told me. So, what did that mean? I wanted to tell him everything I had been holding in today.

Alice had drilled in my head that I was not to ask him anything directly. Suddenly, the way she had acted yesterday flashed before my eyes.

How she kept nervously fiddling with her blazer, how she couldn't stay in one place, how she kept avoiding eye contact and how urgently she told me to meet her at that place.

"Edward," I sighed anxiously. "It's time you told me the truth."

He froze in confusion. "What?"

"Alice told me everything. About James and about that spell book." I explained impatiently.

"Who's James?" Edward's eyes twitched.

"Edward, please!" I shrieked in pain. "Tell. Me. The. Truth."

I expected him to deny and say that he couldn't bear my false accusations. But he didn't.

His face collapsed and he looked guilty. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

My heart stopped and then took up a double beat. The whole world started caving in.

"No, no," I whispered in shock. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Wait," he rasped out. "This has nothing to do with you."

"Doesn't it? Alice told me the first step in that spell book of yours. Take the virginity of a girl, am I right?" I spat out.

As seconds passed by, I found that confronting him was worse than what I had imagined in my mind.

"No, of course not!" Edward's eyes were furious. "Who told you that?"

"Alice. At least she felt the need to tell me what she saw." I lowered my voice.

My parents were downstairs and I knew mom would be listening for noises. If she happened to find any, I knew for sure that she would open the door without knocking and would ask Edward to leave me alone.

"Rubbish! Since when did you start placing your trust and belief upon Alice?" Edward was breathing hard.

"Since you betrayed me!" I hissed. "How could you do that to me?"

"Bella, the only reason why I didn't tell you about James was because I wasn't sure if I wanted to follow him." He said firmly.

"Are you sure now?"

Edward ignored my question and asked his own. "What did Alice tell you exactly?"

I took an unsteady breath. "She told me that she saw you and the other soldiers in the abandoned storage place behind her house. She also told me that the first step to prolong an Undead's death was to deflower a virgin."

A disbelieving expression came on his face. "Those are all lies. James came to my house, Bella. And you want to know something else? Alice was there too."

Suddenly, I remembered the day when I had seen Alice's car parked outside Edward's house. It was around the time when Edward had refused to talk to me.

"Emmett was the one who saw him first with Alice. He and James were old friends. So, he brought James home. James told me about the spell book he had found earlier," Edward continued. "He showed me the steps too and that was when I decided I didn't want to be a part of any of this. Those ways were…...inhumane."

"Alice was with James?" I squeaked. I felt like someone had cracked open my head and filled it with unwanted things.

"Yes...hard to believe, isn't it? Alice clearly lied to you, Bella. Look, I care about you and I would never harm you. You have to know that all the time." He raked a hand through his hair.

I leaned against the headboard dizzily. Lies and deception everywhere. You could trust no one.

"You want to know the real first step?" Edward's face was hard.

I didn't have the power in me to speak, so I nodded.

"It is to kill a virgin and drink her blood." He said coldly. "Do you think I will do that you? Do you think I will ever be able to do that you?"

"I'm so sorry, Edward." I knew those words weren't enough but he understood. He always did. How did I allow myself to doubt him in the first place?

"You want to know what all those flowers mean?" Edward glanced at the bouquet.

At my nod, he took it in his hand and started pointing at the various flowers.

"The blue ones are Forget-Me-Not, they mean 'true love'. White ones are daisies, they mean 'loyal love'." Edward's eyes were intense. "The red ones here are Gloxina they mean 'love at first sight'. These yellow flowers are Honeysuckle, they mean 'consumed by love'. And the orange blossoms here mean 'eternal love.' I picked them myself. Do you like it?"

When my mom finally barged in, she didn't catch us fighting.

Instead, she saw us locked in a tight embrace and kissing as if our lives depended on each other.


Hey guys,

So, how many of you thought that Edward was evil? Raise your hands and I'm gonna shoot ya for thinking that he would ever cheat on Bella! Come on guys, Edward is our romantic hero.

Anyway, I was going to post this chap next week but I was done and there was no reason for me to prolong the wait. And I know you guys were dying of suspense.

Hope you enjoyed it. Review and tell me.

-BEJL