PJ POV
"So basically, you can sleep here, or here." I tell Chris, pointing to the opposite ends of the spare room.
"Oh my god, it's only 2 in the afternoon, I can't handle this sort of decision yet!" He groans. I realise that he's probably not joking.
"I'll decide then. I'll just get the spare mattress-"
"Why do you have a spare mattress?" Chris butts in.
"Do you have a problem with the one thing that will give you comfort in your sleep throughout your stay here?"
"Is that the mattress or you?"
I laugh and shake my head as I wander out of the room in search of the spare mattress that seems to faze Chris so much.
"That wasn't a no!" He yells, and I can almost hear him raise his eyebrows in that weird, sexual way he does. It's quite boring living alone sometimes and a madman like Chris will definitely end that. Well, as long as I don't force him awake before noon. Then he'll be grumpy all day.
I walk back into the room to find Chris staring at his open suitcase. "What is that, a portal to another dimension?"
He half smiles but still stares, entranced. "I dunno whether to unpack or not."
"Ah. To unpack or not to unpack, that is the question."
"Dead people always know exactly what's going on with the kids." He mutters.
I throw the mattress to the far end of the room. "Re-arrange to your heart's desire."
Still in obvious deep thought, he stares at the suitcase for another ten seconds, before getting up, kicking the mattress further into the corner, then returning to the suitcase.
"Need help?" I ask, coming beside him.
"Yes."
"Okay then. Why should you unpack?"
"Because I don't know how long I'm staying for."
"And why not?"
"Because I don't know how long I'm staying for."
He keeps his eyes fixed on the case before I sigh and pick it up.
"Peej..."
I tip it upside down, spilling its contents. "Boom. Unpacked. Problem solved."
He looks as though he's about to object, but decides otherwise and follows me downstairs.
"You wanker!" Chris screams at me as my turtle shell hits the back of his kart.
"Mind your language, Christopher," I tease, before adding "You foul-mouthed little shit."
"NOW I'M IN 7TH PLACE, FUCK YOU, PJ!" He yells.
"I'd say sorry but I just won."
"You..." Chris scowls before tackling me to the side of the sofa. He shoves a cushion over my mouth as I yell "Rape!" through my laughter.
"Peej you can't joke about that kind of thing you insensitive bastard!" He tells me in one breath, pressing my arm behind my back.
"If I say sorry will you get off?" I ask, still laughing.
"Maybe. But don't pretend you don't love this." He says with a smirk.
"Sorry. Now shift!" I sit up quickly, and he falls onto the floor. He weighs hardly anything, so it was immensely easy.
"I am feeble, master." He says with an odd accent, bowing his head with his hands pressed together.
"Are you going to play Mario Kart or not?" I ask.
"Not if you're going to play dirty." He says, waltzing into the kitchen.
"SNACKS ONLY!" I yell. "You're not cooking. I quite like my house."
"Shut up, PJ, I do what I want!" He yells back, emerging with a huge bag of cheese puffs and a shocked look on his face. "You didn't tell me you had these!"
"Because I knew you'd find them." I sigh as he rips the bag open and stuffs a handful into his mouth.
"Want one?"
"They're mine! You don't have to offer." I take a handful myself and flick the TV on.
"No!" Chris yells, standing up, looking outraged. "I need a blanket before I watch TV."
He starts to run out the room, then turns and comes back for the cheese puffs. He dashes out of the room stuffing them into his mouth and I can't help but laugh. He comes down a little later with a huge duvet and two pillows. He throws one at my head and sits down next to me, the cheese puffs in the middle of us. "Got any romant – uhm, I mean, manly, action films?"
"Of course," I say, reaching for the DVDs by the TV screen. "Wanna watch The Notebook – Uh, Avengers?"
"I got you The Notebook!"
"Does that mean we're watching it?"
"Yes."
I roll my eyes and reach for the disc. "Really?"
"Yes, now put it in!" Chris giggles. I sigh loudly and grudgingly put the film in the TV, with a tiny grin on my face.
I shake my head and sit on the sofa with him, digging into the cheese puffs. "Mental, you are."
"You love me, really." He says.
"Course."
