A/N: Had to reverse these for continuity's sake. Thank you so much for the new follows and favorites! Please let me know what you like (or don't!). I love hearing from you. This one isn't happy, but I hope you still enjoy!

HIS

"Those guys were Cerberus, weren't they?" Vega asked.

Shepard answered calmly, "Sure looked like it." What are they doing here?

"Cerberus. What are they doing here on Mars?" Kaidan's voice rang with suspicion.

"Good question." She sounds way too calm.

"You don't know?"

"I'm not with them anymore, Kaidan, if that's what you're asking." Kaidan could tell he was beginning to irritate her. But the coincidence is just too much.

"It-it wasn't. But you have to admit it's a bit…convenient."

When they got on to the cargo elevator, Kaidan got right up in her face. "I need a straight answer."

Shepard sighed. "Kaidan…"

"No, don't Kaidan me." He couldn't hide the anger in his eyes. He wasn't that backward lieutenant anymore. "This is business. Do you know anything about why Cerberus is here?"

"Why in the hell would you think I would know what they are up to?" Her voice flared with defiance.

"You worked for them, for God's sake. How can I not think that?"

"I told you the same thing on Horizon. We were working together to take down the Collectors, and That. Was. It. They gave me resources. I helped our colonies. What's so hard to understand here?"

"There's more to it. They rebuilt you from the ground up…" How do I know that you are really you and not just some…fake? Kaidan was ashamed as soon as the thought crossed his mind. She had seemed so real aboard the Normandy, and he knew he looked like an ass doubting her after all that time investigating her and deciding she actually was being truthful.

"Let me be clear. I have had no contact with Cerberus since I destroyed the Collector base," Shepard interrupted. Kaidan wouldn't look at her. "I have no idea why they are here or what they want."

Vega finally interjected. "Commander Shepard's been under constant surveillance since coming back to Earth. No way they've communicated since."

"Sorry Shepard, it's just that…" The hiss of the airlock pressurizing stopped Kaidan's response.

Shepard removed her helmet and looked directly at Kaidan. "You of all people should know what I'm about. Please, just trust me."

Kaidan looked remorseful. "I do. I'm sorry."

x-X-x

The pair maintained a professional distance after finding Liara and taking care of the Cerberus shock troops that were chasing her. Shepard sent Vega back to the Normandy, but they still had to find a way to the archives to get the data on the Prothean device. Kaidan thought his idea of using a dead trooper's helmet communicator seemed like a good one, until he cracked open the helmet.

A sickly blue gray complexion and blue glowing eyes greeted him. "Oh God, he looks like a husk."

"Yeah, not quite," said Shepard as she approached. "They definitely did something to him."

"Someone, you mean Cerberus? They did this to their own guy? Is this what they did to you?" Goddamnit, Kaidan. Filter your damn hole!

Shepard's eyes flashed. "How could you compare me to him?" She grabbed his hand and put it on her face. "Do I look, do I feel like a goddamn husk?"

Kaidan turned away, speaking softly. "I don't know what you are, or who since Cerberus rebuilt you. For all I know you could be their puppet, controlled by the Illusive Man himself."

"Kaidan…" she said softly. He knew he had hurt her.

"Don't try to explain it to me. I don't think I'd be able to understand it anyway." Kaidan looked lost and confused as he stepped closer to Shepard. "I just want to know…is the person I followed to hell and back—the person I loved—are you still in there somewhere?"

Reaching out to touch his face, Shepard's eyes were still gentle when she looked at him. "They didn't change me, Kaidan, or the way I feel about you. But words won't convince you, will they?"

"Probably not."

"I didn't think so. You were always stubborn." A slight smile reappeared on her face.

"Me?" Kaidan chuckled.

"Remember the CO quarters? Mine."

"If that's the case, I'm going to doubt I have the corner on the market in obstinacy."

HERS

Kaidan had been an ass. There was no doubt about that. Shepard was growing tired of his lack of faith in her, but now, it's all forgotten. Shepard stared down at Kaidan's broken body lying in the med bay of the Normandy.

He was much too pale, even though his face was almost entirely covered in bruises. His breathing seemed sluggish and labored.

"You can't die on me, Kaidan. Not after all that. We…" A sparkle of metal on his neck caught Shepard's eye.

"Shepard, help me remove his chest plate," Liara said softly. "We have to check his body for internal injuries."

Shepard complied and as they took the armor off, the metallic item moved. His dog tags. She gently reached to lift them, but since she couldn't get them off without lifting his head, she leaned in close to his body. They were still shiny, unlike hers that were somewhat blackened and dented. Her breath caught as she saw her tag still on his chain.

Hot tears began to fall. "Kaidan, you have to be ok," she whispered, ashamed of her display. "Come back to me. I've never left you." She pulled out her own tags and held both pairs together in her clasped hands as she leaned over his chest.

"We have to get him to the Citadel. He can get the best care there." Liara was firm, but gentle. "We have to leave the Sol System."

Shepard looked up and mustered some authority in her voice. "Tell Joker to get us there now."

The travel time to the Citadel was agony for Shepard. She knew that every minute Kaidan wasn't getting advanced care was a minute closer to him…She couldn't finish the thought, because he's not going to die.

Medics were waiting when Joker docked the ship. Shepard could only watch helplessly as they ran Kaidan away. "He will be at Huerta Memorial. The best care on the Citadel," a medic hollered back.

Shepard heard Liara's voice in the back of her head. It sounded distant. "We need to get to the Council to get their support for this Prothean weapon."

Seeing Bailey walking up pulled Shepard back into her own body. "The Council isn't quite ready for you yet. They are dealing with something and blah, blah, blah. You probably have time to go and visit your friend, if you want."

"I think that's what I'm going to do," Shepard said, still feeling numb. He's going to be ok, right? Without so much as a goodbye to anyone standing with her, she made her way to elevator to get to Huerta.

She was lost in thought and worry. The tags. He's still wearing them. Did he forget about mine? Did he remember? Was all the stupid stuff on Mars it? Is that how we say goodbye? Shit, Kaidan, you have to be ok! You have to! Her eyes started to burn again as the elevator opened to the hospital lobby.

Her eyes fell upon a pair of doctors talking. Chakwas!

"Commander! I thought that was you," her light British accent lilted.

"Dr. Chakwas, I didn't know you were here!"

"I've been working in Alliance R&D labs down in Shalta Wards, coordinating closely with Admiral Hackett. I had heard you escaped Earth in the Normandy and that someone on your crew was critically injured. I came as fast as I could."

"We had a run-in with some Cerberus synthetic on Mars." Shepard looked down at her feet. "Kaidan took the worst of it." She looked back up and spoke softly. "How is he?"

The doctor's eyes showed a glint of understanding into Shepard's deeper than professional concern. "Very well, all things considered. I'm impressed with Major Alenko's resilience, as well as Dr. Michel's expertise. I wish I could have been there on Mars."

"Doctor, you know as well as I do that your place is on the Normandy, not some lab."

"I couldn't agree more," Chakwas smiled. "You say the word and I'm with you."

"The Normandy wouldn't be the same without you," Shepard smiled in return. "Docking bay D24."

"Yes, thank you. I'll get my things. If you'd like, you can go see Kaidan. He isn't conscious, but he could have a visitor." The older woman placed a hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "I don't think even death could keep you two apart. And I don't believe death will be bothering either of you anytime soon."

Shepard turned toward the rooms, still afraid of what she was going to see. As she approached the doorway of Kaidan's room, a petite doctor came up.

"Hi, you're Commander Rachel Shepard, right?" Her voice was high and made her sound like a child.

"Yes, I am. Can I help you?"

"No, I-uh. I'm Dr. Danica Temple. I work in this hospital, mostly with kids, but I know the major. We met a while back."

"Oh, ok?" Shepard was curious about why Kaidan would be around a blond pediatrician. Whatever it was she's nervous now. Because I'm Commander goddamn Shepard, bitch. She smiled inside her head. For once, Shepard wanted to intimidate a civilian.

"We, um, were set up on a blind date kind of. But he left kind of abruptly after seeing a news vid about you and then I never heard from him again. I was really surprised when they rushed him in today."

"Are you taking care of him now?" A little flare of jealousy shot up. She will keep her mitts off.

"No. I did help stabilize him when they brought him in, but I'm not his primary physician. That's Dr. Michel. Anyway, I'm just rambling." The perky doctor deflated a little. "When we were getting him situated, we had to take these off. I'm sorry if this is personal, but I saw your name on one of the tags. I thought I should give them to you."

Shepard took the tags mutely. Now she felt a little bad for making the doctor nervous. "Can I go in and see him?"

"Of course, Commander. I don't know if he can hear you, but it's always good to try." Shepard watched the small blond quickly walk away. As the door to Kaidan's room opened, her heart stopped. She had already seen him battered, but now lying in a hospital, so deathly still. It was unnerving.

"Kaidan? God, it's hard seeing you like this." She watched his chest rise and fall. "I don't know if you can hear me, but since you can't tell me to get the hell out of here either…I'm going to take my chances."

She stepped closer to the bed and reached out to touch his face. Please open your eyes for me. She stroked his cheek as an errant tear fell from her eye and landed on his pillow.

"Don't die, Kaidan. You've got to fight. We need you in this." Her voice got thick. "Seeing you in action again reminded me that you are a hell of a soldier. The Alliance could sure use you."

Looking around to see that no one else was nearby, Shepard leaned in closer to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. Her voice started to catch as she spoke. "I…I could use you."

She straightened up quickly as the door swished open and a couple doctors appeared. Shepard wiped her eyes and looked back at Kaidan's quiet form. "Come on, Kaidan. Fight."

As she walked out the door, she turned and looked at him once more. "And that's an order."