HERS

Shepard was exhausted. Trying to get help from the turians was proving to be more difficult than expected. There just seemed to be so many conditions they kept coming up with. She couldn't blame them completely. They were dealing with their own Reaper invasion.

It was relieving to get Garrus back on the Normandy. He was a good friend and always loyal. He never questioned me. Her heart hurt still knowing Kaidan was still in the hospital and their last conversation involved him basically calling her a husk. She couldn't deny it still stung, but she just wanted to convince him that she was still herself. What hurt the worst was not knowing if she'd ever have the chance.

"Commander, you have new messages." Specialist Samantha Traynor interrupted her thoughts.

Shepard opened her console. Kaidan is awake. Her heart leapt at the words. He wants to see me. Udina wants to make him a Spectre? She still had to get to this Grissom Academy, but after that, her next stop was the Citadel. This time she typed him a reply.

Kaidan,

I have a few things to take care of, but I'll be glad to stop by.

Talk to you soon.

-R

x-X-x

Shepard was more than pleased to see Jack being the bitch she always had been, but now with a purpose. She did her best not to show her pleasure when Kahlee Sanders said she and the students and Jack needed to brought back to the Citadel.

After saying some quick goodbyes and promising to get drunk with Jack soon, Shepard headed to Huerta. She was still nervous about the kind of conversation that might creep up, but at least I have another chance. If I have to end it in my heart today, I can handle it. She clutched his tags that were in her pocket. She figured that would be a way to really force the issue without forcing the issue. He would see her tag on his chain and either he'd keep it, or he wouldn't.

When she got to the lobby, she saw a kiosk selling gifts. She looked and saw Kaidan's favorite Peruvian whiskey, just like the bottle of his that she had unceremoniously drank on her birthday all those years ago. Maybe I should replace it. She pulled out her chit and purchased a bottle.

As she entered Kaidan's room, she saw Councilor Udina and could smell his overbearing cologne. God, he is such an ass. Shepard was pissed that he had taken over as the human councilor after Anderson left to escape the bullshit, not that I could blame Anderson.

"I need an answer, Major. The galaxy has need of exceptional soldiers like you now more than ever."

"You'll have your answer soon, Councilor," Kaidan replied. "I promise."

"I look forward to it." Udina turned and saw Shepard standing there. He sneered, "Shepard."

One of these days I'm so going to throw his ass off a balcony. "Udina."

She looked at Kaidan who had sat up in his bed. His face still looked pretty beat up, but his body seems to have no problems whatsoever, as she wondered about what that thin hospital sheet was covering up.

"Hey Shepard," Kaidan smiled. "You just missed snack time. Actually, that's probably a good thing. Thanks for coming."

"No problem." Just play it cool. "What did Udina want? Still thinking about the Spectre position?"

"It's a big honor, a huge responsibility. Just need to be sure." Shepard thought Kaidan's eyes were searching hers for something. She got uncomfortable.

Pulling the bottle from the bag she was carrying, she smiled. "I got you this."

"Wow! Thanks, Shepard. This is really great. Almost makes up for the time you downed the whole thing."

"Just a little pick-me-up."

"Yeah, maybe when I get out of here, we can crack this thing open and actually share it. You know, which means I get some too?" Kaidan made a crooked smile which made Shepard laugh.

"I am so ready to get out of here, Shepard. You can't see it, but I'm tied to this bed with medical red tape. Dr. Michel says I'm good to go, but then she always finds just one more test."

"Are you really ok?"

"Yeah, my implant got a little… rattled. I have to keep the biotics offline for a bit. It's really no big deal."

A sly look crossed Shepard's face. "Do you need me to break you out?"

Kaidan chuckled. "I'll let you know."

Shepard's features softened as she debated on what to say next. "I'm…glad you asked me to come. I wanted to know that you were ok." She took a deep breath and let the rest of her thoughts out. "You almost died on my watch. It was horrible to see, and I—well, I care about what happens to you."

Kaidan's hand reached and covered her own as she leaned against his bed. "Me too. That means a lot." He shifted uncomfortably in his bed as he continued to talk. "I just want to make sure that after Mars, after Horizon…you and me, we're good?"

"Kaidan, we've been through hell together, but we've had each other's backs. That kind of bond is hard to break." She didn't want to just talk about serving together, but maybe I'm turning into him. Always leaving a way out.

"No, not just that. You were my commander sure, but you listened too. When I told you about how Rahna broke my heart, you didn't judge me. You knew I needed that. We went through Ash's death together. So what do you say? Are we good?"

"Yeah, we're good. It was great to have you back on the Normandy." I can't believe what a pansy ass I am.

"Thanks, but I just want to say that the CO quarters would have been mine. I am really glad you came by. Talking about all this reminds how much I like you. We're good together." Oh, yes, even in the biblical sense.

"Do you feel like we've finally cleared the air?"

"Yeah, I'm not so sure I was wrong about Cerberus, but I've been wrong about you. I should let you get back to the Normandy. Wish I could come with you." It would be so easy if I could just open my damn mouth!

Shepard started to get up to leave, angry at herself for her cowardice. "Take care of yourself, Kaidan. We need you at 100%."

She reached the door, which swished open, but then she turned back. I have to know.

HIS

It felt so good to finally be able to talk to Shepard without that nagging suspicion in his head. When Kaidan sent the message to her, he was hoping she would be receptive, especially after the way they had left things on Mars. He was glad when she said that they were good, and surprised when she suddenly stopped and turned back around.

"Something else, Shepard?"

"I never asked you about your family. Are they safe?"

"You know where my parents live, but my dad's family owns an orchard in the BC interior. They were taking a shuttle out there the day of the attack."

"Have you heard from them?" Kaidan could see in Shepard's eyes that she was holding something back.

"No. I hope…I'm hoping Dad's Alliance training is keeping them safe. Must be killing them not knowing where I am. But this isn't why you stayed, is it?"

"No, not really." She looked down and cracked her knuckles. "Are we going to be able to get past Horizon?"

"I'd like to, Shepard…as friends," his voice dropped, "as more than friends. I mean, I don't know. I just like having you in my life."

"Ok," she said slowly, "so how do we fix it?" By letting me take you in my arms and saying to hell with it all.

"Maybe you should just know that I'm not seeing anyone, and that I still care."

"Kaidan, I…" Ok, so maybe she isn't receptive. Shit. I couldn't expect her to still care after all I did to her.

"Hey look, there's a war on, and maybe you and me'll never happen. But I needed you to know that, because that's how we'll get past Horizon."

Shepard reached into her pocket. "Kaidan, I have these." She held up his tags. She placed them in his hand and closed it over them, keeping her hand on top.

"How did you get these? I figured they got lost in the shuffle after I was hurt."

"No, some doctor who said she knew you gave them to me." Her voice got quiet and she looked away. "She said that my name was on one of them."

The words hung in the air for a few moments. Kaidan wasn't sure what to say. Is she mad that I'm just some lovesick fool? Has she moved on with somebody else? She looked back at him with tears in her eyes.

"Shepard, is there somebody else?" He felt his own heart beginning to break. His stomach was dropping and this time it wasn't the drugs.

"No, Kaidan," she whispered. "There never has been. It's only been you. I kept fighting because I knew that somewhere you were out there, and whether or not you were with me, I would do my goddamn best just to make a life for you without the fear of the Reapers."

"You know what? People near death say they see their lives flash before their eyes. Well, the future flashed for me. The anguish, the families…" He took her hands and wrapped them in his and looked straight into her eyes. "The children. It made me determined to live. You aren't the only one fighting for something." A slow smile crept onto his face. "Maybe I still do believe in that dream, fighting for the woman I love."

Shepard laughed quietly. "Kaidan, you are a hopeless romantic." She scooted her chair closer to the bed, so she could lean against his shoulder. "So what are we now?"

He stroked her hair as he pressed his lips to her forehead. "We're us. You're my ocean. Wild and wonderful. Beautiful and dangerous. On the surface, you can look so quiet, but underneath you are full of life."

Shepard smiled and looked up at him. "Kaidan, you are my safe harbor."

A/N: So I wanted them to get together a little quicker than the game. It's sort of my way of fixing awkward conversations. Did you like this chapter? I will have the "sanity check." It will just be altered a bit. Thank you for reading!