In this chapter we explore Damon and Caroline's relationship. Warning: there's some very strong content in this chapter which includes personal abuse/Suicide attempts.

I feel compelled to say, if you ever feel like you can't go on and have no one to turn to, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You are worth saving. Don't ever give up! XOXO- ElevatedJewel

Rated: M/MA Reader discretion is advised.

Chapter IV

If Caroline Forbes had to describe her life prior to meeting Damon Salvatore, she'd use anything synonymous with pathetic. Ever so often she reflects on how weak she used to be. Her parents split up because they finally accepted they'd rather be with member of the same sex. The blonde has no problems with homosexuality but the 10-year-old version of her who hailed from a small town called Mystic Falls, where people were very traditional and judgmental found it hard to cope with the changes in her life.

First her father moves out to be with his lover, then her mother moves her best friend in under the pretense of needing emotional support. Caroline had no qualms with it until she came home early from school and found her mother diving head first in her so called best friend's vagina. She left school that day because she was being picked on by all her classmates. They called her names that implied she was just like her parents. At the time, she only knew her father was gay. The students ridiculed her about both parents, so she defended her mother's honor with vigor. It seemed like the joke was on her given what she walked in on that same day.

She hated them. She hated them for lying to her, for not explaining things to her in a way that a young girl her age could understand, and more so, she hated them for not being there for her. They were so absorbed in their own issues that they failed to think about how she would feel or adjust. It wasn't the end of the world, but with no guidance at all, Caroline felt alone.

Her parents stopped paying attention to her. She had to fend for herself. At 10 years old, Caroline Forbes had to grow up. Though they were very much alive, she lost both of her parents in the divorce. She had to cook for herself, do her own laundry, tutor herself, babysit so that she had money to do groceries, negotiate with bill collectors to avoid being without basic utilities, coach herself through her first period, and comfort herself after her first heartbreak, Caroline was on her own and all because her dad left her, and her mother was too busy trying to find herself to care that her little girl was all alone. On her 17th birthday she felt like she couldn't take it anymore. No one wanted to be her friend, her parents didn't care, and she was going nowhere fast. So, she decided the only way to stop the pain would be to end it all.

Caroline was never one to do things half-assed. She decided she'd go with a bang. The blonde took a nice long bubble bath using her favorite scents, took her time putting on her makeup until she looked flawless and picked her best lingerie set. Once she felt sexy, she went into her closet and pulled out her most scandalous dress. It was an ivory silk wrap dress with a plunging next line, open back, that fell to her mid-thigh accentuating her amazing long legs the silver pumps on her feet added a touch of elegance.

She transferred most of the money she saved for college into her checking account, stole her mother's car and drove to New Orleans. Of course, she was smart enough to withdraw enough money cover her tracks. After she got rid of the car, she partied hard. She felt free. All of her burdens were lifted with a simple change of scenery.

She tried every drug available, she drank ever shot bought for her, Caroline was on cloud nine. She thought the was the perfect way to end her pathetic existence. There was only one thing missing, on last rendezvous with a handsome stranger. That's when she saw one of the most gorgeous men her eyes ever had the pleasure of feasting on. One look at his jet-black hair, sapphire eyes, and regal features, and she was a goner. He caught her staring and decided to approach her. "Can I buy you a drink?" He asked with a half-smile. Caroline decided he would be the one she spent her last moments with. "No." She replied.

He looked at her in befuddlement. "No?" She met his gaze and repeated herself. "No." The stranger was about to leave until she continued. "I don't need a drink. What I need is for you to fuck me into a coma." The stranger's eyes darkened. "What if I want to fuck you right here while everyone watches?" Caroline accepted his challenge by divesting herself of her panties and tossing them aside. "Your move." The stranger did not disappoint. He fucked her in the middle of the dance floor and then took her to his suite at the Ritz Carlton and had his way with until they were both spent.

The next morning, she woke up and reality set in. The stranger she fucked was fast asleep. It was time, she was ready to end it all. She reached in her handbag and popped an Ativan to calm her nerves. She took several deep breaths and grabbed small 22 magnum revolver. She inserted a single bullet into the eight-round cylinder and spun it. Taking some more breaths and popping a few more Ativan, Caroline cocked back the hammer and pulled the trigger. She felt relief and distress when she heard the gun click. Tears started to run down her face smearing her already runny mascara and eyeliner on her porcelain skin. She prepared herself to try again. Cocking back the hammer once more she prepared to pull the trigger before the gun was knocked out of her hand. She had already given the trigger a slight squeeze so the bullet that would have gone through her head ricocheted grazing the strangers lower leg.

"Fuck!" The bullet stung him but what he walked in on was even more concerning. "What is going on in your life that is so bad? Is there no other way?" He sounded frustrated. I just had to pick up a suicidal lunatic. "We don't need to cops to come. First we got to get the fuck out of here and then you are going to explain what this was all about." He gathered all their things and left through the service exit. Lucky for him, he didn't book the room under his name or credit card.

They pair hopped into his rental and left town stopping after putting a few hundred miles between them and New Orleans. They stopped at a roadside diner and that is where Caroline looked up at the stranger and let it all out. She told him everything that she had been through from the moment her parents came out to the present day. The stranger took a moment to digest her story.

"What is it you really want? What will make life worth living?" He asked. He knew what is was like to feel that lonely, rejected, and hopeless but he's too stubborn to give up.

Caroline smiled weakly. "I want a family. I want acceptance, love, loyalty, and respect. I just want to know that I matter to someone." She put her head down meekly.

"Well then blondie, I guess from this day on, you and I are family. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean it in a romantic way, just that I have your back, you have mine and all that mushy shit that comes with annoying familial relationships. This means that you are not alone and no more suicide attempts. I mean it! My family fights, no quitting allowed!" He extended his hand. "Agreed?"

Caroline felt skeptical but if she was willing to gamble her life, she was willing to take a chance. She shook his hand. "Agreed." Scratching the back of her head she blurted out. "I'm Caroline, Caroline Forbes." The smiled. "Damon Salvatore at your service. Say blondie, do me a favor and take care of the check." Caroline scoffed. Damon looked at her and rolled his eyes. "Now that I'm not trying to get into your pants I get to be your asshole brother. You should get used to it, this is what having family is like. You know how the saying goes, be careful what you wish for." She muttered "Jerk" under her breath. Deep down she was elated and to this day she has no regrets. Damon stood true to his word and no matter what, he has always been there for her.

When Damon returned to the chateu after disappearing for a few days, Caroline was pissed. They promised each other never to leave the other in the dark regarding their whereabouts. As soon as she saw him, she knew something happened. There is no hiding from Caroline Forbes, she is far too astute especially when it comes to the ones she loves.

The first thing she noticed was the minor discoloration on the side of Damon's face. Next, she noticed a disturbance in his aura. Finally, she noticed he was carrying a burden. Never one to wait for shit to hit the fan, Caroline pulled Damon into his office and locked the door.

"Dammit Damon you had me worried sick!" Instead of responding with his usual sarcasm, Damon responded. "I'm a horrible person Care Bear." The use of her pet name amplified the blondes concern. She knelt in front of Damon and grabbed both of his hands. "Hey, remember we're family." Damon hung his head in shame.

"Our family fights, we don't give up. Remember? You were the one who told me that." The porn king remained unresponsive. "Come on, don't do this to me. We tell each other everything and you are not leaving this room until you've told me everything. I can help you." Damon sighed. He knew there was no point in prolonging the inevitable but part of him feared Caroline would hate him as much as he hates himself right now. The guilt was eating away at him.

"Remember that guy Matt you gave the tour to?" Caroline nodded. "The dreamy all-american beef cake? Um Yes!" Damon scoffed.

"Well, when I met him he took me to this speak-easy where I met someone very interesting." He began to tell Caroline about his encounters with Bonnie providing as much detail as possible. Caroline is one of the most intelligent women he knows, if anyone can figure out where he messed up, it would be her.

"Ok, let's rewind. So, she was turned on when you had her cupping your junk?" Caroline inquired. "It seemed that way."

"After that you pressed further into her personal space but she didn't start to panic until you started talking about her snatch?" Damon started massaging his temple. "I don't know if the discomfort began prior to that or if my words were the trigger."

"It's official. You are an idiot!" The porn king glared at the blonde. "What is that supposed to mean?" She slapped the back of his head. "What I mean is, you should have seen the signs." Caroline began to pace. "Just follow me for a moment and you will realize that you really are a complete moron." She faced him then began, "First time she acted this way was encounter number one. You said something about being a slave to your dick. You were far too aggressive with someone who is comfortable with flirting as long as she has some semblance of control. You said she's probably in her mid to late 20's, so if it took a man like Kai 15 months of 'exclusivity' then you couldn't really believe you'd get her to drop her panties in a matter of minutes. Then you attack her while she was already emotionally stressed. Now, let's fast forward to your most recent encounter, everything is ok until you push her out of her comfort zone once again." She paused to see if he was following her line of thought. The blonde found herself disappointed but not surprised. "God, you are so lucky you're handsome, because you're brain cells are fried."

"Let me break it down. Her friends are protective over her. She doesn't seem to trust people. You pushed up on her as if she were one of your fan girls. You did nothing to earn her trust before doing so. She isn't like other women. Isn't it obvious she's suffered trauma. I mean you told me you can see something inside of her is broken. If that's true, wouldn't it be wise to just get to know her. This way you know how to approach her. People who have PTSD tend to get triggered by certain stressors. Don't you remember how much you had to coddle me when I first came with you?" Damon's brain finally caught up. He hoped he'd be relieved, instead he felt ever worse.

"I'm a fucking prick!" Caroline smile affectionately. "Yes, you are. Lucky for you, you have me." The blonde picked up her phone and sent a text to the man she had saved under the name Matty Blue Eyes. "I have your back. I'm going to meet Bonnie and fix what you screwed up." She was half way out the door when she added, "By the way, your attempt to cover the bruising…. Total fail!" She stuck out her tongue and winked.