"Regret comes only because our conscience accuses us of having minimized the consequences of our actions."

Unknown

Hermione was anxious. She was alone in a small village at nightfall. Remus had insisted on accompanying her, but she had held out, she had to do it alone. She didn't like this place very much. It was a Muggle neighborhood, not very well traveled. At the entrance of the dead end, she had seen a group of drugged men, they had stopped her, but she had accelerated her pace. Her heartbeat was still frantic, but they weren't following her. Her wand was in the sleeve of her sweater, and despite the cold winter weather, she wasn't dressed any more than that. A coat would have bothered her in a battle, so when in doubt, she never wore one.

She checked the number by the mailbox and then opened the faded gate. The house, if it could be called that, was not very welcoming. In fact, ruin would be more accurate. The roof was sagging, ivy was growing all over the walls, the windows were filthy and looked as if they hadn't been cleaned in years.

She knocked on the door and waited for someone to open it. She heard footsteps after a few minutes and then the door opened, revealing a shadow. Hermione couldn't make out his face, it was too dark, she breathed in and spoke.

"Hello Severus. May I come in?"

The man did not answer her immediately. He watched her for a long moment before shifting to the side. The interior was like the façade, dilapidated, but Hermione didn't dwell on that.

"What do you want?" asked Snape in a husky voice.

He was still in the shadows, Hermione still couldn't see his face. She looked around and kept her neutral expression the whole time, even seeing the previous week's Daily Prophet.

"Talking to you. And thank you."

Snape didn't seem to want to move, as he was still in the shadows. Hermione didn't mind standing there, but she hoped they could talk quietly.

"This is going to be a long one I guess. Sit down, I have to finish my potion. We'll talk after."

Hermione obeyed and sat down on the dingy couch. It was better than she had imagined. Severus hadn't slammed the door in her face or cast a spell, at least for the moment. She didn't know how long it would take him to finish his potion, so she picked up the newspaper that sat on the coffee table. She hadn't bothered to read it before, not seeing the point when she knew all the information in the article.

THE POTTER HEIR GETS MARRIED

You heard right my dear readers, James Potter, the youngest member of the noble Potter family has become engaged to Lily Evans, a muggle-born little known to our newspapers. The wedding is planned for June, and Mr. Potter has already stated that it will take place in small groups, strictly reserved for the couple's close friends. A good news never comes alone since your favorite journalist learned that the future Mrs Potter is pregnant. Is it an accident that forces the Potter heir to marry this woman? Is she just looking for the Potter fortune? I assure you dear readers, I will find out the truth.

Yours truly, Rita Skeeter

As always the Daily Prophet articles were a load of garbage, but Hermione knew the paper was always there for a reason. It must have come as a shock to Severus to learn of his childhood friend's marriage. To the man he hated most in the world. And they were expecting a child. After spending several months with him, Hermione knew how he had reacted. He had probably broken a few things, then shut down and brewed potions, maybe tortured a few muggles with his beloved master. She didn't know how her former potions teacher had reacted, after all, this Severus wasn't much different from the man Hermione knew. Her former friend had been abandoned twice, that was the only difference. And probably not the least.

Hermione knew that her attitude was not justified. She had lost her mind when Mary died, but she shouldn't have acted that way. Challenging him to a duel had only ended their friendship, when she was there to save him. She was angry at herself for abandoning him, and above all, for torturing him. Because no matter what she said, she had thrown two unforgivables at him. Maybe they were right. Maybe sometimes she was no better than the Death Eaters.

She was abruptly snapped out of her thoughts by Severus' bursting in, she hadn't heard him coming, but now he was sitting across from her and looking at her with an expression Hermione knew all too well, emptiness. Some would have called it neutrality, but no, Hermione could only see the void. He seemed to be waiting for her to start the conversation, after all it was her who had invited herself to his house, not the other way around.

"I wanted to thank you for saving my life last time."

He raised an eyebrow, he had decidedly not the same conception of 'last time' that the young woman.

"It was in December, almost three months ago. There have been dozens of battles in between."

"I couldn't come to see you. I don't understand why you do it, why you act like this, after all this time, I am lost."

"I am the one who created this spell. If you died, it would be as if I had killed you."

"But he must have killed other people, well, I doubt Voldemort found out the day of the battle. I mean..."

"None of the dead people were you. Don't you understand that by now? I don't care about the others. They could all die and I wouldn't care."

"But why?"

The young woman was confused. She didn't understand how anyone could be so insensitive.

"Because I don't know them, and even if I do, most of them hate me. But if you were to die, you and Lily, I would never forgive myself."

"You can't say that! You fight us every day. And if we were to die, because it could happen Sev'! We're at war if you haven't noticed. Just because Lily or I were your friends doesn't mean you have to-"

"That's just it. Do you think I've had many friends since you left, many friends at all? Lily was my only friend until I was fifteen. Regulus became my only friend after that. And then you came along, and even though it only lasted a few months, you meant a lot to me. I mean, I don't even know why I'm telling you this! I don't usually confide in you. I don't even know why you're here, you don't belong here. You can't just walk out of my life and come back years later as if nothing had happened!"

"So why do you behave like this? Your master and your kind don't make distinctions for people like us. Do you think that because we were your friends they will spare us? In the worst case they would remember and force you to torture us before finishing us off. You say you can't forgive yourself if something happens to us, but something will happen to us. Lily has been hurt many times, I saved her from getting dolled up but do you think I'd still be here? She's safe for a few months, but you know her, as soon as she gives birth, she'll go back to fighting. And I stood up to Voldy, he spotted me. He will hunt me down until he kills me."

"You don't understand."

"Of course I do. I know you better than you think. You've been around Death Eaters since you were eleven, you couldn't turn your back on your dorm mates or you'd be expelled from Slytherin, but you were loyal to Lily, but when you insulted her and she suddenly turned away, you were left alone, and it's almost natural that you ended up on Voldy's payroll, but you're like Regulus, you got there for the wrong reasons."

"My story has nothing to do with his."

"He went in there because that's what a Black has to do. He's terrified, but it's too late. And you, I know He's paying for your potions training. You're a pearl to him. "

"You know nothing. You've got money, you've never wanted for anything. You don't know what it's like to have to ask for something. I paid for my Hogwarts business with the school's scholarships, the Dark Lord was my only option. And I agreed, I still agree with him on some things."

"You are blinded by your hatred of muggles! They're not all like your father!"

Hermione fell silent abruptly, realizing the blunder she had just made. She wasn't supposed to know this part of the story. Not at all. Severus had never told her about it, she had never brought it up because she knew it was very sensitive. Even in the future, it was only after long and tedious research that she had been able to read between the lines and guess what had happened.

Severus had blanched, and was now looking at her with anger. No one knew his story. He had always made a point of keeping his private life, well, private. Even Lily, who had witnessed a few more or less equivocal scenes, hadn't gotten wind of the whole story.

"How could you know?"

"Severus..."

"It's Severus now? I thought you'd stopped calling me that since we weren't on the same side. You know, the day of McDonald's funeral."

"I regret what I said that day."

"It's easy to say that to me now, years later. I'm a Death Eater, in case you've forgotten. You know the saying."

"But that's not all you are!"

"You're so naive, I didn't think you would ever be. No one gets out of his grip. Spare me your speech. I think you don't belong here anymore. You thanked me, I told you that I wasn't going to let you die, the conversation is over. I'm not taking you home, the door is behind you."

"I hope that if you change your mind, it won't be the day I die, or worse, the day Lily dies. James and Sirius would tear you to shreds if you showed up after that, and I can't imagine how Rem would react. I think it would be best if you stayed with the toadies. If you change your mind, contact Dumbledore, he's the head of the Order after all."

She was about to leave, when she looked back one last time.

"And if you really are Regulus' friend, make sure he doesn't show his hesitation to your master, it could be fatal. And most importantly, if you hear of a mission with a house elf, by Morgana, keep him away from it."

With these words, Hermione left the house and transplants. She landed on the beach in front of her house, and walked through the protective barriers onto her property. She sat down on the sand, and within minutes Remus was there, sitting next to her. She had no doubt that without her werewolf senses and her internal 'Hermione is around' radar, this would be more complicated. He had known exactly where she was despite the dark night present, and it wasn't the faint reflection of the moon on the water that was going to help.

"This didn't go as planned, did it?"

"He wouldn't listen. He let me in, but he is angry, and sad, and very lonely too. I left him saying that I hoped he would change sides before I or Lily died. It's hard to believe that he could have changed sides when I see him today."

"The prophecy changed everything. Dry your tears, Mione, it's not worth worrying about now."

Hermione obeyed, she hadn't even noticed that her eyes had betrayed her, she let out one last sigh.

"If only this conversation can save Regulus."


Hermione was quietly brewing a potion when she heard voices coming from the infirmary. She was surprised to recognize Sirius' voice, since last she heard he was on a date with Remus. She put her potion in stasis and entered the next room. She was stunned by the scene unfolding before her eyes.

"What the hell happened to you?"

They were barely recognizable. Remus' face was bloody, as were his clothes, Hermione wondered how anyone could lose so much blood and not hemorrhage. His lip was split and she saw with horror a cut on his arm that looked like it had been made with a knife. Sirius was no better, his head was extremely swollen, if she hadn't heard his voice, Hermione couldn't have told it was him. He couldn't open his right eye and bruises were starting to form all over his body.

"I didn't really understand it. We were kissing on a bench, quietly, there was no one there except a few kids in a park a hundred yards away. And then they all arrived at the same time, there were four of them and they threw themselves at us. They started insulting us, then hitting us. We couldn't do anything. I don't know how long they stayed beating us, but it was long. It was a nice little couple who came to our rescue. They were not afraid because they had a baby with them, only six months old. The man ran them off while the woman protected her baby and threatened to call the police."

Hermione took her head in her hands, sighed heavily, and sat up straight.

"You were in the Muggle world?"

"Yes, in London, why?"

"And you were kissing?"

"What's the problem?"

Hermione stared at them for a few seconds, she was amazed that they were so irresponsible.

"Don't you know your rights? You go to a place you barely know, if at all, and you don't even think to look up what your rights are? You could have been arrested by Morgana!"

"But why? I mean, we were just kissing, I mean, it's no big deal."

"Exactly, Sirius. You and Remus were kissing. Two men. In the Muggle world."

At the stunned expression of the two wizards, Hermione sighed again and then decided to give them a little lecture, since apparently they couldn't learn anything by themselves. She sat down on an unoccupied bed and began.

"First of all, you should know that the Muggle world does not have the same laws as the Wizarding world, even outside of the strictly magical ones. Here, there is the Queen, but she has no real power. The real head of the government is the Prime Minister, the equivalent of the Minister of Magic. He is accompanied by ministers who are delegated to a specific task. For example, there is the Minister of Health, the Minister of Justice, the Minister of Education..."

"Kind of like the heads of departments?"

"If you like. But it won't be the Prime Minister or the Minister of Justice presiding over a trial, unlike in the Wizarding world. What I mean is that the laws are different. I don't think you've ever been assaulted in the Wizarding World, just because you were holding hands or kissing. But you do in the Muggle world. It's forbidden, even. Homosexuality was only decriminalized in 1967, and then only in England and Wales."

"You mean... they attacked us just for kissing and being male?"

"Yes. Homosexuality is forbidden in Scotland and Northern Ireland. And here it is very limited. For it to be legal, the homosexual act must be consensual, it must take place in private, and both men must be sexually mature, that is, over twenty-one years old. And then the act is restricted. Sodomy is forbidden, no Sirius, I don't need to hear about it" said Hermione, seeing him open his mouth, she didn't want to hear him share his experience. "And 'private place' is interpreted very strictly. It's not allowed in hotels or anyone else's home, even if it's in separate rooms. No, still not Sirius, I don't want to know what you do under my roof. And the people who are not involved are very much against this. They think that a man should be with a woman. The narrow-minded ones even think that because you love someone of the same sex, you are monsters, aberrations of nature. I think there is a law coming up to decriminalize it in Scotland, but still under the same conditions."

"So our relationship is illegal."

"In the Muggle world, yes. If either of you were a girl, there wouldn't be this problem. The sexual majority for heterosexuals is sixteen."

"Five years difference?"

"And don't even get me started on two women together. That only applies to men. A woman with another woman? But she can't have a child! What else is she for?"

"Is this really the Muggle world view?"

"Of course it is. It's true that you may find it hard to believe because it's not like that here at all, but people think like that. Some people want to ban books because they advocate homosexuality or whatever. Some people think it's a disease, some people think it's a fad. Well, after this exciting history lesson, I have to treat you. If you want more details, I'll get you a book."

Hermione treated them as best she could, but it would be several days before they would fully recover. At least Remus was no longer covered in blood and Sirius' swollen face was starting to deflate.

"Well, we're a little more presentable now, so we can go thank the muggles who saved us."

"Did they give you their address? They're not very suspicious" asked Hermione, suspiciously.

"No, they're here" said Sirius calmly.

"You let muggles into the HQ? You've gone completely mad! We're a secret association. And how did they get into the house?"

"We put a little confusion spell on them. But they really wanted to help us, and they were really worried about us. If we're not dead, it's still thanks to them, so..."

"So I'm going to see them."

She left the infirmary and headed for the living room when someone suddenly blocked her path.

"Rem', what are you doing?"

"I beg you Hermione" he whispered to her. "Don't go into that room."

"Why?" the witch asked, shifting to pass.

"Trust me, please" he replied, shifting again.

She raised her eyebrows, then pushed him slightly and entered.

Remus slumped over himself and ran his hand over his face. He was desperate, that much was clear. The two marauders looked at him strangely, they had followed the silent exchange between him and Hermione, but had not understood a word of it. They went in after Helena, Remi didn't seem to want to go in.

What Hermione saw left her stunned. The two muggles were from behind in a big conversation with Lily. She recognized them instantly. They all heard her coming, and out of politeness, they turned their heads. Hermione didn't need to see their faces, the mere sight of their silhouettes was distressing enough.

She met the man's gaze, the same as hers, when she was in her body, her father's gaze.

Her parents gave her a warm smile, and Lily seemed to make the introductions, but Hermione couldn't hear her. She was staring at her parents with great emphasis, and they didn't seem to understand why.

Then suddenly, she snapped out of her stupor and ran off, without further explanation. Lily mumbled an excuse. Then she talked about other things with this charming couple, but she kept Helena's reaction in a corner of her head.

Hermione had run past Remus like a fury and he had barely had time to see her before she was already out the door. He rushed after her, he had to be there for her and if she went through the protective barriers without him... He didn't dare imagine where she would go.

He grabbed her arm in extremis and felt himself whirl before landing hard on the ground.

She was crying silently and didn't seem to want to get up. Remus slowly got to his feet, he was sure he would get a bruise, and walked over to Hermione and hugged her.

"Why?" she sobbed. "Why is it that when I can stop thinking about them, when I'm sure that my other self can have a better life with her parents, all my certainties fall away? I knew they were happy, I forgot about them. Why now? Why are they resurfacing now?"

The wizard stroked her hair, without answering. Because he had no idea. It was no coincidence that Sirius and his double had met Hermione's parents, he was sure of it.

He was going to have to do some research. It couldn't be a coincidence that the Granger couple had ended up precisely where the two marauders were being assaulted, he knew that.


All the dates and laws quoted in the chapter are true