A/N: Bonus chapter! So here's the sitch! My pneumonia cleared up for the most part, but I still have school and I'm still really behind because I missed so many classes, so I leave you with this chapter of this story as a peace offering (again lol), but (probably) no more big updates will happen until Saturday, because I'm terribly busy trying to study for my exams! I promise I will make it up to you guys with whatever I update this weekend ;3

I appreciate the reviews! Thank you for the sweet and caring words! You guys are wonderful! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own GMW or A Walk To Remember.


"Morning Mom." Lucas said with a grin, sidling up to her and leaning down and kissing her cheek.

She gave him an amused raised eyebrow.

"You seem to be in a pretty good mood this morning. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing." Lucas replied, picking up his keys and sliding on his jacket as he headed to the door, "Just happy about life."

"Well that's good to hear for once. I'm glad you've been staying out of trouble too, Lucas." She chuckled before turning back to her magazine. "Now hurry up and get your butt to school."

Lucas was sure he near skipped down the steps all the way to his car, an earsplitting grin on his face the entire time. Driving to school, he couldn't help the smile that would not leave his face. He was on cloud nine, and he definitely knew why.

He had a date with Maya.

So maybe she wasn't aware that he was classifying it as a date in his head, but he knew he couldn't outright say it because he had a feeling she would reject him unbelievably fast. Still though. They were going out.

Lucas didn't know why he was so excited, but he was just glad to spend more time with Maya. He was planning on taking her somewhere special after they finished painting the sets—as of yet to be determined—for dinner before they went to the ferry. He knew he was making a big deal out of it, but he couldn't help it. He kind of wanted this to be special for her.

Aside from the fact that Maya was someone he'd grown to care about a lot, Lucas wanted to wipe away the melancholy that seemed to permeate her entire being. He wanted to make it go away. He didn't know what the cause was, but what he did know was that he wanted to be the one to take away that pain. And maybe with this little date, he could start to figure out the best way to do so.

Lucas was fairly early when he finally got to school and hopped out of his car, grabbing his bag and intending to head straight to the art room to see what kind of stuff Maya liked to eat. If he got some good intel, he could surprise her with a nice place she might enjoy. Maybe he could sneak away and buy some flowers or something.

As he walked through the halls of school, heading to his locker, he noticed Brandon and the guys standing near it, narrowed eyes on their faces and sneers on their lips. Billy was giving him an incredulous look and Mitch was giving him a dirty look. Even without the looks, their entire demeanor spelled trouble, and Lucas suddenly felt quite a bit of trepidation.

He walked to his locker, inputting the combination on the lock and trying and failing to ignore the disgusted glares of his friends.

"Well, well, well…" Brandon said, an unlit cigarette between his lips as he leaned back against the lockers, "Look who's here."

"What's up with you guys?" Lucas asked with a roll of his eyes, pulling out the books he didn't need and rummaging through his locker for what he did need. "Why are you all staring at me?"

"Don't play dumb." Jackson growled. "You know exactly why."

"No. I really don't."

"We went by Nighthawk Diner last night on our way to some party. And guess what we saw." Billy stated, crossing his arms in front of his chest and facing Lucas. "Is that ringing any bells?"

Lucas froze in his search, his stomach dropping to his feet as he felt himself stiffen uncomfortably. A cold sweat ran down his back, and suddenly, Lucas was incredibly nervous and put on the spot.

"We saw you and the poor chick on a date last night." Zay said with a raised brow, "You were holding her hand. Seriously, man? You blew us off for her?"

Lucas slowly closed his locker, turning around with a nervous chuckle as he scratched the back of his head.

"What? No, we weren't… we weren't on a date."

"Sure seemed like it to me." Mitch said nonchalantly as he picked his nails, though his expression was anything but.

"And the part that just gets me," Brandon said, chuckling a little darkly, his eyes glinting, "Is how you lied to your friends all because some bitch gave you a little attention. What's your deal? Are you into her?"

And with that, Lucas knew he'd walked into a trap. All five of them were standing around him, somewhat blocking off any chance he had to escape, all watching him with shrewd gazes, waiting for an explanation for his recent behaviour. They wanted answers, and they wanted them now.

And Lucas knew if he said the wrong thing, they would ditch him without a second thought.

He swallowed thickly.

"I'm not into her." Lucas responded, shrugging his shoulders indifferently, though his stomach was twisting in knots, "I'm just… I was just trying to see if she was any good in bed."

And he automatically felt like crap when their eyebrows lifted in newfound interest and surprise.

"Damn, Lucas." Zay laughed. "Why didn't you just tell us? No wonder you haven't screwed Jennifer yet. You went for Maya."

"Of all the girls you could choose though…" Billy snorted, slapping Lucas on the back. "You went with the one who's poor as fuck and whose mom is a sex crazed maniac?"

"I mean, that's the point, right?" Lucas mumbled, somewhat averting his gaze and gripping the strap of his messenger bag, "If her mom is like that, she's bound to be just as easy."

"You hit that frigid, ice cold bitch?" Mitch said nodding reverently, "Mad respect, man. Sorry we doubted you."

"Yeah…"

Lucas should have felt better. He had basically just secured his friendships once again, but he had lied to do so, and he was so very ashamed of himself. Maya didn't deserve that. Badmouthing her like that made him feel absolutely disgusted with himself. Especially since his friends were eating it up as if it was cake.

He felt terrible for saying that, but he didn't know what else to say.

"So you mean to tell us that this whole time, all the time you were spending with her and all the times you ditched was just so you could bang her?" Brandon said, though the glint in his eyes hadn't diminished. His stare had hardened, and he was regarding Lucas with something a little treacherous in his gaze. "Why'd you keep it a secret that you were trying to fuck Gangbanger Hart though?"

"Why do you call her that?" Lucas glanced at Brandon, feeling his irritation spike.

"What?"

"Gangbanger."

"Because she's fucked a lot of members in gangs. That's what a gangbanger does."

"No she hasn't." Lucas almost immediately responded back, his eyes narrowing.

Maya wasn't that type of person, and Lucas doubted she had ever really been with anyone that way. She blushed whenever he would even move her hair behind her ear. There was no way she was used to any kind of intimacy like that. He didn't believe it.

"Are you seriously defending her right now?" Brandon rose a brow. "What do you care? Thought you were only interested in what's in her pants."

"I'm just saying what's the point of gossiping and spreading rumours about people for no reason?" Lucas quirked a brow, crossing his arms in front of his chest and mimicking Brandon's irate posture. "You're being a little bitch."

The guys laughed at Lucas tossing Brandon's words back at him, though Brandon was not amused. Brandon narrowed his eyes, staring Lucas down with a slightly dangerous look in them.

But the standoff was interrupted when the clicking of heeled footsteps stopped right by their pack.

"Hey Huckleberry."

And Lucas stiffened, every muscle in his body tightening in alarm as the one person he desperately did not want to be there at the moment showed up. His friends all turned to Maya, dirty smirks on their faces as they stared at her. Maya ignored them all, a small, cheerful smile uncharacteristic of her general expressions on her lips as she kept her eyes solely on Lucas.

He met her gaze, trying to send her mental waves to turn around and leave or just walk on or something and ignore him. Anything for her to go away, because this was the absolute worse situation. He was hanging on a string here, and he could not talk to her right now.

"Hey Maya." he said evenly, not altogether friendly, not altogether unfriendly.

"We still on for tonight, Ranger Rick?"

Lucas mentally groaned. This was the last thing he wanted to happen right at the moment. Why oh why did she have to bring it up? This wasn't a good time or place. He glanced briefly at Brandon, who was looking fairly suspicious now, and Lucas grew anxious when Brandon looked at him, seemingly waiting patiently for his response.

"Tonight?" Lucas asked, nervously licking his lips and thinking of how to save a quickly deteriorating situation.

"The ferry boat ride, duh. I thought it could be cool if we went out to dinner too after set painting, you know?" Maya rose a brow. "So we still on or what?"

The incredulous stares of his friends were all on him. Lucas felt a chill run down his back from the frigid nature of his friends' expressions. This was spiraling out of control. He could feel the pressure and rubbed the back of his neck, cursing his luck that she just had to mention the very thing that would precariously tip the situation in the wrong direction.

"Sounds like a date…" Mitch said slowly.

"Yeah Friar. You still on for tonight?" Brandon asked, a slight smirk on his face.

Lucas met Maya's gaze, who was waiting for his response, and he gave her a slight pleading look, hoping she could understand what he was about to say wasn't true.

"Forgot the difference between your dreams and reality, darling?" Lucas snorted derisively.

Maya blinked once, no particular reaction to his words on her features as she stared at him in silence for a moment.

And then he watched as a deadpan look took over her face, her jaw clenching and lips set in a grim line as she regarded him coolly.

But the worst were her eyes.

The soft, murky blue-gray had hardened impeccably, crystallized and become sharp and nasty, the guard that he worked so hard to drop fully in place. She didn't even look pissed. She just looked indifferent, as if he was just another person like everyone else. She had closed herself off from him. He could literally see the walls she had replaced between them.

And it was that indifference and her guarded gaze that made his heart squeeze in his chest.

"Right." Maya shook her head, chuckling to herself. "I knew it was too good to be true. Because what else should I have expected from you. Lucas Huckleberry Friar. Once an asshole, always an asshole."

He wanted to say something. He wanted to say something so badly to fix this mess, but he couldn't. His words had gotten caught in his throat. He felt like shit.

There wasn't even any anger in her expression. Just a deep disappointment. A deep disappointment and utter indifference as if she had come to realize he wasn't worth it. Especially the way she said his name. Not like she had taken to saying it recently, warm and teasing with a hint of affection, but spat out in disgust, spiteful and rough and meant to hurt. It was no longer a nickname of familiarity, but now an insult to who he was.

And it did hurt.

It hurt a lot.

When the bell for homeroom rang, Maya scoffed with a roll of her eyes, spun on her heel and left.

"We're heading to my place after school." Brandon said, "You gonna come this time or what, Friar?"

"Yeah… I'll come…"

Lucas stared after Maya as he responded, hoping she would turn back at least once as she walked briskly to her homeroom, her wild waves of hair flowing behind her with each of her motions.

But she never did.

And he knew he blew it.

Monumentally.

~.~.~

"Man, you should have seen the tits on this girl!" Zay finished, "Watermelons, I tell ya!"

"You're full of shit." Brandon snorted, "I saw that girl. She did not have watermelon tits."

Billy broke away from Missy for a few seconds with a smirk.

"Yeah, I agree. Oranges, max."

The guys started laughing, and Lucas leaned against the cushions of Brandon's basement couch, staring silently through the haze of smoke in disinterest. After that disastrous morning, he had skipped going to paint the rest of the sets with Maya, instead going with the guys to Brandon's place. He had been there all afternoon and it was starting to get late and he just wanted to go home. He just wasn't into hanging out with his friends or participating in the conversation, especially since they were drinking and smoking some stuff. Jackson had invited some girls over and now the whole large group was laughing loudly and making so much noise. But Lucas just wanted to spend time in solitude lost in his own thoughts. And it didn't help that his mind kept running through what had happened with Maya.

The way she had closed herself off from him after all of the time they had spent getting to know each other better. It was like he had taken a step forward only to fall back a gazillion steps. All of the progress in their relationship, and he'd stupidly wiped it away. And for what? Sitting in a basement degrading someone and discussing their anatomy and drinking until barely coherent and going to third base with everyone watching?

He would rather have been with Maya painting sets instead. But he just knew she wouldn't have been open. He just knew it.

Especially with the way her gaze had gone cold and dark, unforgiving and almost treacherous.

And he deserved it after treating her that way.

Lucas really did not feel good about it at all. And it wouldn't leave his mind.

Jennifer came up to the couch and sat next to him, bringing with her the nauseous scent of a revolting perfume that made him scrunch his nose in disgust.

"Here." She smiled, handing him a bottle of pop. "All these drugs and this alcohol are an annoyance, don't you think?"

Lucas took it without response, not really interested in conversing with her. He found it interesting that she would make a comment like that when he was sure he had seen her have some of Mitch's Mystery Punch, where the mystery in the drink was a bit of Everclear.

"Why are you sitting over here by yourself?" she asked softly, leaning into him and pressing her chest against his arm, resting her hand on his chest, "You look lonely."

"I'm not. Just bored."

"Yeah, me too…" She purred, her lips nearly pressed against his ear and the tufts of her breath hitting the side of his face as she dragged her finger down his chest. "We could always get out of here and ditch them, you know. I live around here. Why don't we go to my place? My parents aren't home. We could just chill in my room. Or you know, we could…"

Lucas remained silent, staring blankly out at nothing in particular.

"…Have some fun under my sheets." Jennifer said, leaning even closer. She was nearly on his lap. "Just the two of us…"

He turned his head to her, intending to tell her to get off of him and to tell her to back off because he just wasn't interested.

But she took it differently.

Before he could back away or avoid it, Jennifer took his face in her hands and closed the distance between them, pressing her mouth against his. She sucked his lower lip in between her teeth before letting go, kissing him slowly, tracing his lip with the tip of her tongue. She tasted like bitter vodka and tropical punch and some sweet strawberry flavour from her lip gloss.

But it felt wrong.

It felt so wrong, and Lucas was utterly disgusted with it.

He didn't respond, waiting patiently for her to stop whatever the hell she thought she was doing.

After a moment, he watched her frown, her eyes opening slowly as she backed away from him, looking particularly annoyed.

"Are you done?" Lucas asked indifferently, brushing her hands off of his face before wiping his mouth with his hand.

"Like, what is your problem?" Jennifer growled in irritation, "I've been throwing myself at you all month and you just don't respond. Are you just not sexually interested in girls or something? Because I can change that. Just one night in the sack with me. You'll see."

And that was all it took.

He felt something in him snap. Something that had been building for a while.

He was fed up. Fed up with Jennifer. Fed up with his so called friends. Fed up with this life. Fed up with putting on airs just to stay with a group when all he wanted was to spend time with the girl who made him feel like it was okay to be him for once. The girl who comforted him without thought and understood him without prompt.

He'd had it up to here.

And he wanted out.

"So just because I'm not ripping off your clothes, you think I'm gay?" Lucas' eyes narrowed dangerously, and Jennifer's brows rose in surprise, clearly not having expected him to lash out. She leaned slightly away from him, her expression shocked and partially alarmed by his tone of voice. "Did it ever occur to you that I'm not attracted to you? Why the hell would I ever be attracted to a pathetic, desperate bitch? I don't want to sleep with you, so back the fuck off because I'm not interested in some whore whose only redeemable quality is that she's a great way to blow off steam for the entire male population of the school."

Jennifer's eyes were wide and slightly frightened as she stared at him. She looked hurt, offended from his verbal attack. Lucas hadn't realized just how loudly he had been talking, because everyone in the room had fallen silent by that point and were staring at the confrontation in shock.

Lucas glared at Jennifer in disgust, wanting nothing more than to continue to break her down. He wanted to hurt her. Wanted her to feel the pain that was running through his heart from Maya's dismissal.

"…You know, when I get mad I usually paint to take my mind off of things so I don't try to take it out on people. What do you do, Lucas?"

And he paused, stopping his tirade before he unleashed it on the unsuspecting girl.

Lucas stared at Jennifer and realized her nostrils were flaring in fury, a slight shine to her watery eyes as she glowered at him.

And he knew he couldn't continue. He just couldn't do it.

Trying to tear someone down and hurt them would make him no better than these people. It wouldn't do anything but make him feel worse about himself. It wouldn't alleviate any of his pain or problems.

And he knew Maya would be utterly disappointed in him.

"…I'm sorry, Jennifer." Lucas sighed, running a hand through his hair. "That was uncalled for."

Lucas rose to his feet, shaking his head in utter disgust, not caring that everyone was watching him like he'd lost his fucking mind. And Lucas wondered if he really had.

He blamed Maya for getting into his head.

For making him want to change. To be different.

For seeing something in him that he never thought he had himself.

And he knew exactly what he needed to do.

His heart suddenly started racing erratically in his chest as he glanced at each of them.

"You know, I can't keep pretending that I'm like this. This isn't me." Lucas said, "There's more to life than sitting around getting wasted off of our asses and spending our days boozing and screwing people and breaking the law. I'm sick of this shit."

Without another word and not waiting for a response, Lucas left the basement, heading back upstairs and hurrying out. He hopped into his car and left, driving straight towards Maya's place.

He just wanted to see her.

He just wanted to hear her voice.

He just wanted some reassurance from her that even though he'd blown it, that he was still redeemable as a person.

That he was still redeemable to her.

He was pretty sure he broke about a thousand traffic laws and far obliterated the speed limit on his way to her apartment, but he didn't care. His heart was jumping in his chest, and he was jittery and nervous.

But at least, for the first time ever, he felt like he'd done something right.

He felt like he had made a good decision.

Lucas barely stopped his car before he was out and racing into the lobby of Maya's worn down apartment. He raced up the stairs, not wasting any time. He nearly knocked over someone on the stairs in his rush to get to Maya's floor, but it was the farthest thing from his mind at the moment. He just needed to get to Maya. He hurried down her hall before stopping at her door, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

Lucas knocked on her door, several times, breathing heavily from his run and hoping she was in. Hoping desperately that she was in so he could fix this mess. So he could apologize. So he could make things between them right again. He should have gone to paint the sets that day. He should have gone to Maya and fixed the mess of their relationship right then and there. He only hoped he still had a chance to.

There was no response.

He banged his fist on the door multiple times again, refusing to give up. She had to be home by now. She just had to be.

He heard footsteps stomping up to the door and then the sound of locks unlatching.

"Do you mind?! My grandmother is sleeping!" Maya hissed as she ripped open the door. Her eyes met his, and her gaze almost immediately turned distant. Aloof. Frigid. And suddenly, Lucas was reminded of Mitch's words of Maya being ice cold. "Oh. You. Are you really standing here or am I just dreaming right now?"

Lucas winced at the reminder of his words.

"Listen Maya. About today. I'm sorry. I'm just—"

"A coward. No, I get it."

"I'm really sorry." Lucas said, rubbing the back of his neck, "But anyway, ferry boat rides are twenty-four seven. We can still catch one if you want?"

Maya's blank expression didn't change. In fact, she didn't really emote anything or react at all. She stared up at him impassively.

"So… you were hoping we could still be friends." Maya stated after the silence had been drawn out for a while.

"Well…Yeah."

Maya chuckled, and Lucas grimaced from how empty it sounded. How it sent chills down his back when he noticed her eyes were still dull and lifeless, no mirth in her expression at all.

"And earlier, you were hoping we could do the whole you're a jerk at school to me with your friends but we're secretly friends kind of thing, right?"

"I…" He knew even before he answered that it was true. It was a particularly repulsive thing to want. He was ashamed of himself. "…Yeah."

"Well, I don't want it." Maya replied evenly, "Look Huckleberry. I've already had enough to deal with in my life. I don't need another leaver. If you want to be with your asshole friends, then go right ahead. But don't think for a second that I'll accept that it's okay for you to keep me hidden away like you're ashamed to be seen with me or something. If you can't hang out with me for real, if you can't accept us as real friends in public, then we're better off not being friends at all."

"Maya, I'm sorry. I was just—"

"Being a coward. We already established that." Maya cut him off abruptly, raising her hand to shut him up. "Apology not accepted. Sometimes it's not enough. I don't want empty words and constant apologies. I want to see you take steps to actually make things better. If you're just going to apologize over and over after doing the wrong thing, why do you keep doing the wrong thing? Why don't you try for once to do the right thing? So now that we've gotten past that, I think it's time for you to go."

"Maya, wait—"

"Why should I? You've made it clear that you can't handle being my friend and theirs. And I've learned my lesson. You're an asshole."

"I ditched them, Maya. I'm not friends with them anymore. I don't want to be friends with them if it means having to hide my real self. If it means having to stop being friends with you." Lucas said hastily, almost pleading with her to take him back, "I'm not them. I swear. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"If you think someone like you who barely counts for anything in my life can hurt me, you've got another think coming." Maya responded cruelly, her eyes narrowing treacherously, "I was wrong about you. I can't believe I deluded myself into thinking for a second that you weren't just like Brandon and Billy and Zay and the others. You're just as bad. Actually, you're worse. At least I can always count on your friends to be assholes so I don't expect anything different. You? You pretend. You pretend like you're a good guy when the reality is that you're a shithead. And stupidly, I got duped."

They were words intended to cut deep. And they did.

Lucas felt his heart clench tightly in his chest in pain, staring at her in shock from the blow she had just delivered him.

"Maya… I'm not them. I care about you."

"You're not your friends, huh?" she said, ignoring his other comment completely, her expression blank and unaffected, "I think you're exactly like them. An asshole and a pathetic excuse for a human being who will only ever be defined by the amount of people you hurt. Goodnight and good riddance. Don't come here again."

She slammed the door in his face and as dried paint flakes chipped off the door from the force and fluttered to the ground, Lucas knew he had lost her.

He really screwed up.

And he lost Maya.