HERS

Shepard walked around her cabin with the datapad, looking over the numbers like she had hundreds of times before. They were on their way to the Illusive Man's base and she knew that there would be no time between that and heading back to Earth. Kaidan had gone down to work with Joker and EDI making sure the shields were fully operational.

How many times had she gone into battle before? Too many than she could count. But she never felt as nervous about them as she did about this one. Cerberus has the Catalyst. We need the Reapers destroyed, so Cerberus has to be destroyed as well. If we fail…if I fail…the whole galaxy will know and everyone will lose their lives. I cannot fail. Numbers began to blur in front of her eyes and she rubbed them to help focus. I need a snack. I'll sneak down to the mess and hurry back up here.

She walked toward the door and it opened. Kaidan was standing there, holding a tray of food and drink.

"Kaidan? I thought you were with Joker…"

"You have been working so hard, I thought you needed a quick break."

She yawned. "Yeah, I do, but I can't stop now…"

He put the tray down and took the pad from her hand. "Making yourself crazy with this won't help. I'm just here to help you relax for a few minutes, then I'll go."

Shepard eyed the food. She grabbed a sandwich and started to devour it. This seems eerily familiar. Kaidan wanting to help me relax. I've been working nonstop…I think I know where this is going. He isn't as subtle as he thinks he is.

He looked at her and handed her a bottle of water. "You know you've done everything you could, right?"

She swallowed quickly and took a drink. "I hope so. I keep running the numbers to see if I've missed something. There just seems to be a missing component."

"Rachel, you know what that is? It's the fact that you don't have to do this alone. Look to your crew, to the talented people fighting by your side. I'm here, and I'll be damned if I let anyone take you, both of you, away from me. You are an incredible woman, and what you've accomplished since the Reapers arrived is just nothing short of amazing."

Shepard looked at Kaidan, doubt filling her own eyes, but his looked compassionate and hopeful. She reached out to him and took his hand, looking down at his battle-worn fingers. "I'd like to believe you're right, Kaidan."

"You know I am. Rach, this isn't a battle that is yours alone. Why do you insist on making it so?"

She looked back up to see his face creased with concern. It broke her heart. "Maybe because I always have to be Commander fucking Shepard for everyone, badass warrior of the galaxy, savior of the Citadel, destroyer of the Collectors, sole survivor of Akuze…" Her eyes began to sting. "No one else will take up that cross, Kaidan. No one else can."

Kaidan folded her into his arms and stroked her back. "I suppose it's too late to take some of that burden away? Rachel, you are all of those things, but you aren't alone. I know about your nightmares. I've seen the way they torture your sleep. Can I ask you a favor?"

She sniffed and nodded.

"Next time you have that nightmare, focus on us. The three of us. You have so much more to fight for than what your dreams keep tormenting you about. Just let our child be the one you concentrate on."

"Kaidan, you're exactly what I needed right now." She tilted her head up to kiss him. His lips were soft and gentle.

"I want you to know, Rachel, I, uh, had ulterior motives for coming up here. It wasn't just a quick snack. I needed some time alone with my wife." His wife.

"You know I love you, Kaidan. And you are a terrible liar."

"Saw right through me, huh?" he laughed, then his face turned serious. "God, you know I love you too, Rachel. Through all these years, through everything. I'm the luckiest man alive."

He leaned in to kiss her again. This time his kiss was more intense as his tongue found hers. Her arms found their place around his neck, but the nagging voice of responsibility made her pause and pull away.

"Hey…where are you going?" Kaidan smiled. His warm, inviting smile. I hope our baby gets it.

Shepard smiled back, touching his face. "Ok, Kaidan, I think I could use a little of your…relaxation technique."

His smile broadened as his hand slid down her body, caressing her curves. She yielded to his touch, allowing herself to forget the pressing matters of life or death. For a few precious moments, it was just the two of them, intertwined as lovers.

Afterwards, she slept and this time the nightmares didn't interfere.

When she awoke though, the burden returned. She sat up and put her legs over the side of the bed, placing her head in her hands. Why do I feel so sad? Like I'm losing everything? So many times before I've faced death. Hell, I've died. But it was a surprise then. Now…more like a certainty. She straightened herself and turned to look at Kaidan, sleeping peacefully. I can't put him through that again. Her mind and heart steeled around that thought. Her sadness burned away and was replaced with an iron resolve.

There's no way in hell anything is tearing us apart again.

HIS

Kaidan rechecked his weapons. Earth was more of a warzone than he ever could have imagined. He wondered what London looked like when it wasn't under a Reaper invasion. He hoped that Vancouver didn't look quite so destroyed, but he knew that was wishful thinking. At least we have a small break in the fighting. God, the Reapers must have made half the galaxy into those awful things and sent them here.

Somehow their team had gotten that Reaper out of the way of the beam leading to the Citadel. He was glad to be at Shepard's side during all this. Everyone seemed to have this foreboding look around her. He watched Liara meld minds with her, saw Vega lose his characteristic smooth tongue, and Garrus…even his trademark battle humor failed. They all tried to say goodbye. Kaidan refused that. He knew the woman she was was stronger than anything the Reapers could put in front of them.

Then Anderson and the rest of Hammer came bounding up in the trucks. A long distance remained between them and the beam. They had climbed in the trucks and began to make their way toward the beam. Kaidan was about to check his weapons a third time when the truck made a crunch and lurched to a stop. He followed Shepard and Anderson out.

Anderson swore, "Shit."

The truck had wrecked and there was a good kilometer at least to the beam. Debris from the buildings that used to stand there littered the way and also blocked any path of going around. Kaidan could see that this was going to be a suicide run. His heart clenched a bit in fear, but his determination to keep calm won. That was short lived as another Reaper landed near the beam.

"We've got to move!" shouted Anderson.

"Come on!" Shepard ordered and she took off running. So brave in the midst of hell… Kaidan paused only a second as he watched his wife run fearlessly toward the beam. He looked toward Garrus, who gave him a quick nod, and they sprinted off as well.

The Reaper began firing at the small number of troops that were desperately trying to reach the beam. The trucks that hadn't wrecked were easily picked off by the Reaper's beam, but Kaidan wasn't watching them or the Reaper. He was chasing Shepard. The odds of success seemed insurmountable, and he couldn't let her go down alone. This time, we die together.

He got about 10 meters from her when the Reaper struck a truck not far in front of them. The force of the blast sent it tumbling backwards. He watched in horror as the vehicle seemed headed straight for Shepard, but she slid on the ground, the truck narrowly missing her head. As it came to a stop, another truck came flying back. Diving out of the way, Kaidan felt the ground shake as the truck hit the ground and then a searing pain as it exploded, throwing shrapnel at his body.

"Shit, shit, shit…" he hissed. Garrus came over, clutching his side. In an instant, Shepard was there.

"Kaidan!" she shouted over the chaos.

"I'm fine," he grunted. "Just a little flesh wound."

No one had any medigel and Kaidan was annoyed he hadn't carried more.

"Garrus?" She looked at the turian.

"Fine, Shepard. I got hit in the face with a rocket before, remember?"

Shepard gave a faint smile and yelled, "Normandy, do you copy? Joker, we need an evac now!"

Kaidan found a new respect for Joker when the ship landed nearby. Shepard grabbed him and ran him and Garrus to the open shuttle bay. She pushed Kaidan toward Garrus up the ramp and started to back away.

"Take him!" she ordered the turian. I'm not letting her go alone.

"Rachel!" Kaidan cried out.

She turned. "You gotta get out of here."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen."

"Don't argue with me, Kaidan."

"Don't leave me behind…" Not again.

Her eyes softened as she walked back up the ramp and touched his face. "No matter what happens, know that I love you. Always." She smiled briefly and turned back, running off.

Garrus started to turn Kaidan toward the ship. "I'm going after her, Garrus. Let me go."

"Kaidan…"

Kaidan flared his biotics. "Don't make me throw you to the back of the ship."

Garrus stepped back, and Kaidan saw more than a little concern in the turian's eyes.

"You're shell-shocked, Kaidan."

"I'm fine, goddamnit!"

The ship's bay doors started to close and Kaidan took a flying leap out. He winced as he hit the ground. His face was stinging and his knee cried out in pain. I can't let her die alone. He forced the pain down inside and started running.

Garrus yelled after him. "Take care of her, Kaidan!"

Only a handful of soldiers remained running. The bodies of the fallen lined a grotesque trail to the beam. It made Kaidan sick. He could see Shepard, unique in her armor, and that she was a woman, still running hard, dodging shot after shot from the Reaper. It's like it's aiming for her…

Kaidan thought for a moment that she really was indestructible until the Reaper finally hit its mark.

"NO!" he screamed as he saw her disappear in the weapon's fire. He couldn't run any faster and his knee was threatening to give out as it was. Tears mixed with dirt and blood as they fell down his face, and the force of the blast caused the ground to tremble beneath him. His weak knee couldn't handle it and he fell behind the burned out shell of a truck. The knee twisted and he felt a sickening pop. He struggled to stand, but had to hold the charred metal for support. Come on, body, we aren't leaving her to die alone.

He hobbled around the side of the truck. He scanned the thirty or so meters to the beam for Shepard. Her signature purplish blue armor was nowhere to be seen…he didn't even see a woman's body among the dead. Suddenly, the beam was gone. Kaidan looked up toward space where the beam had led to the Citadel. Did she make it? He clutched his gun and took a defensive position beside inside the tipped truck and began taking out Reapers as they came running. He was alone and surrounded.

For a short while, he kept them at bay with a mixture of well-placed biotics and weapons fire. He was wishing the door to the truck could shut to give him a moment's protection while he tried to stave off a migraine from biotic overuse. He sank down inside and looked at the bodies of the soldiers lying crumpled at his feet. They hadn't even seen what killed them. Maybe they were lucky. Quick, without fear. Not like this…He heard the eerie scream of a banshee outside. He knew his biotics wouldn't hold up…not without killing him.

He closed his eyes and pressed the palms of his hands on each temple as hard as he could. He would go down fighting, not curled up in pain. He opened his eyes and saw an unopened medigel pack on one of the soldiers. He quickly slipped the pack into his armor and pressed the button. He gave a quick breath of relief as his knee quit throbbing and the pain in his head lessened to a tolerable level.

The groans from the husks grew closer and he knew they knew where he was. As he stood he saw at least two banshees transport themselves closer to his location and continue their lumbering walk. He threw a group of husks away and quickly picked them off with his assault rifle. He used reave against the closer of the two banshees while he tried to pick away at the second with gunfire. The first one shrugged off his biotics and came closer. He could see its wretched eyes and he wondered who she used to be. He turned his gun's attention back to her and tried to fire.

"Shit!" His last heat sink was spent. He quickly threw a warp at her and ducked inside the truck, hoping one of the solider's guns were loaded and working. As he scanned the corpses, he saw his shadow surrounded by red light. Another scream from the banshees came as he saw a pistol lying at the foot of one body. He seized it and moved quickly to the opening and prepared to fire. His heart beat rapidly since he had no idea how many shots were left.

A shockwave of some strange red energy was flying toward them, out from where the beam had been. Kaidan's eyes opened wide as he saw the Reapers that were heading toward him dissolve. That shit'll dissolve me too. He ducked back into the truck and hoped it would shield him at least somewhat. The energy wave shook the truck, but quickly blew past. Carefully standing, pistol in hand, he peeked out. No Reapers remained. No banshees, no husks, no marauders. All gone.

He gingerly climbed out because although his knee didn't hurt, it was still injured. Kaidan looked toward the giant columns that had surrounded the beam. On the platform lay a body. I should probably go see what poor bastard nearly made it. He wondered where Shepard was, but his heart said the Reaper vaporized her. She had taken a direct hit.

The quiet around him was unsettling. He kept waiting for some Reaper creature to jump out at him. He didn't see a living body anywhere. He walked past at least a dozen until he reached the platform. This body was smaller. The armor was charred and burnt against the soldier's pale skin. Kaidan felt pity as he knelt beside the body, still and quiet. The face was darkened with soot or dirt. The hair was disheveled and singed. It was completely burnt off to the scalp in some places.

The body heaved and a gasping breath came out. He looked and saw the soldier's eyes were open. Rachel. "Oh my God! Rachel!" Kaidan chastised himself for using all the medigel. Shepard's body trembled violently and he knew she was in shock. His eyes examined her for injuries. She's obviously burnt over a majority of her body. That arm looks broken, left leg as well. Likely internal injuries as well. Shit! I need something for her pain.

Kaidan glanced about to see if anyone was nearby, but he could only see bodies. He looked back at Shepard, directly into her eyes. "Rachel, I've got to get you to some help. I have no medigel and I don't know where anyone is that's still alive. I'm sorry, but I have to carry you. Stay with me, ok?"

Shepard nodded slightly, still shaking uncontrollably. Kaidan reached under her knees and her neck to support it and gently lifted her. Shepard let out a raspy groan.

"I'm sorry, baby," he whispered gently into her hair. All he could smell was burnt hair and flesh. His own knee began to protest again as he headed back the way they had come. Keep her conscious.

"Rachel, do you know where you are?" Kaidan said as he kept looking for anyone alive.

"I…was…on…the Citadel. I…made it," her voice cracked.

"Good. What did you do up there?"

"I saw…Anderson. The Illusive Man…shit…Kaidan…I…I killed him."

"Who? The Illusive Man?"

"No…Anderson…I was…forced."

What kind of hell has she endured now? "Then what happened?"

"Hackett said something…but I passed out. Then…I shot this…red thing. The ghost ki…" Her voice trailed off and her head lolled to the side. Kaidan was walking as quickly as he could. He thought he could see people.

"Rachel! Rachel, wake up! You can't sleep yet. Damnit, that's an order, Commander!"

Her eyes opened lazily. "Fuck off, Major."

Kaidan chuckled through his fear. "That's my girl…We're almost there, ok, Rachel?"

He walked past the cannons they had used to shoot the Reaper. He saw some soldiers who looked just as dazed as he did.

"Soldier! I have injured here! Need medigel!" Kaidan barked.

A couple of them came running. They saw Kaidan and their eyes went wide.

"Major Alenko, sir!" the woman saluted.

"Forget that, soldier. This isn't the time. Do you have medigel?" He slowly laid Shepard down. He hadn't felt fatigued until that moment.

"Yes, sir." The man began manually administering the medigel. "I'm a field medic. Where'd you come from?"

"We were part of Hammer that made the last run to the beam. This is Commander Shepard." Kaidan's body suddenly felt like lead and he stooped beside Shepard. "She made it up to the Citadel." His words felt like they were coming from someone else's mouth. "But she needs…she needs…she is…" Kaidan's eyes went shut as he collapsed to the ground.

A/N: Cliffhanger! Glad to be back and I hope you enjoyed this even though there was a long wait! I love all of you! Those who have been with me for the long haul and those who just joined me! You make it a joy to write!