'tis the damn season

Apartment 501, Seattle, WA 2010 - S7E10

"You know, sex with you just makes me sad. It makes me miss Arizona." Callie said, her back to Mark and a toothbrush stuck her in mouth. They were showering together to save water and because it was a good excuse for a quick handsy before work. But instead they were talking about last night.

"Well last night when we were having sex," Mark started, razor poised in his hand. Callie nodded for him to continue, "I was thinking about Lexie." Her face twisted into mock anguish. Her hand rising to her chest as she mimed being stabbed.

Then she stopped, looked him dead in the eyes and said. "That's because you're all mopey. You're totally in love with her, even though she's not ready to commit. It's heartbreaking really, watching you fumble around after her."

"I, do not fumble." Mark replied, grabbing his towel from the rack outside the shower and wrapping his lower half.

"Yes, you do." Callie followed him, taking a spare towel from the rack and walking into the kitchen. "The sex with you has been great honestly, but we both know that your only having it with me because you're not having it with her." Callie was leaning over the breakfast bar, Mark grabbed the coffee pot from its brewing stand and poured out two mugs.

"What am I supposed to do?" He asked, his face like a sad puppy. "Last time she was here-"

"Yeah, I know about the note. That was three weeks I don't wanna repeat. Look Mark, I don't think you can do anything. You have to let her come to you, just take it slow. You could ask her out for a drink? Maybe if you guys talk you'll see that she still loves you. Ugh why do you guys have to be so complicated, you love her and she loves you, what's the big deal? My girlfriend lives in Africa." Mark smiled nicely at her, trying to show his deepest sympathies


Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital, Seattle, WA 2010 - S7E10

"I miss you." What kind of secret code is that? Did I miss a memo? Was he supposed to be talking to me now? I didn't okay that. But I miss him too. I think I ache just a little bit and it's sore. He's making me sore in the heart. And I still can't look at him without feeling bad for walking out.

Mark listened to that woman talking about her husband, and he thought about Lexie. He shaved and he thought about her hands on his cheek. He thought about ways to get her to come back to him. He thought about how he could make her see that what they had was special, that she wouldn't find it anywhere else.

I paged him. I didn't know what to do so I paged him. How could I be so stupid? Now I have to talk to him and look at his stupid face, when all I really wanna do is kiss him.

They were talking and he was making suggestions and raising his eyebrow and saying that she loved him. And she was trying to deny it and make a serious face because she was annoyed at Eli and annoyed about her patient and annoyed about the fact that she wasn't going to be pulling a gallbladder out of someone's mouth unless Mark talked to Eli about it.

"Fine, I'll talk to him," Mark was saying. "But you gotta meet me at Joe's tonight for a drink." No, absolutely not. He wasn't asking, he was telling her that's what she 'had' to do.

"You are unbelievable," she found herself replying.

"That's why you love me, 'cause I'm unbelievable." Lexie scoffed, breaking the intense eye contact that was making her head spin.

"You and I, we don't work." She said, "okay, we've been through this."

"No we haven't. We had the most amazing night and then you left me a note and then abandoned me. We-" he gestured to the two of them, "haven't been through anything. Please Lexie, just one drink. And we'll talk." Mark argued convincingly, his hand against the wall in a overly familiar gesture that she despised because it turned her insides into a swamp. She could feel the frogs wandering around, hopping against her guts and making her squirm.

She turned around, glared at Eli through the glass doors and then turned back to Mark's too-eager smile. "Fine. One drink."

How?! How had he managed to reduce me to mush, compliment me and then done absolutely nothing to amend my situation? Wizard! He just said "see you at nine." Like it was the most normal thing in the world, like we were dating and he'd just helped me out. Neither of those things are true!


Apparently, Mr Rabb is going to be fine. And I'm supposed to go and meet Mark for a drink. Right. That's it, decided. I'm going to show up, tell him that I can't have a drink with him because we don't work and I'm scared, and I'm not ready and all the other mountable reasons why we shouldn't be together. And I'm not going to tell him that I'm actually in love with him.

Mark sat at a table in the bar, drinking from a glass and half-not expecting Lexie to show up at all. But then the door chimed. He didn't look over because it had been chiming every few minutes since he got here. It was all just part of the background noise. He put his glass down on the table, a figure appearing in the corner of his eye.

"I know, I agreed to have a drink with you." Lexie was rattling on, "but as I walked here I realised how unfair that was." Mark was thinking about that woman, the one who lost an ear, the one who almost lost her husband. The husband that kissed her one night and convinced her to go out with him. He didn't hear the words coming out of Lexie's mouth because he was poised, waiting for the right moment. "You-you know it's unfair to you, it's unfair to me. Because really nothing has changed, I-I-I mean you're still in a very different place in your life than I am. And-and-and you want-"

It was the moment she'd tipped over the edge from 'unfair to you' to 'we want different things.' That was the perfect moment. He could see it, reality tipping on an axis because she was making excuses. She was making excuses for them not to be together when all she really needed was to be reminded of what they already had. So he kissed her. He leaned forward, and kissed her. In the bar, gently, so it wouldn't go too far, and softly. He made her feel safe.

He broke it because he felt her warming up to him, then he felt her pulling away and almost shaking her head. But her eyes said something different, her eyes said she was thinking about doing that again. They stood there like a couple of idiots in love, whilst Jackson came in and told Lexie something irrelevant about the ICU. She could only look away from Mark for a second or so to dismiss him. Then his thumb was grazing her chin and all she could think about was his lips on hers. She let out sigh, a sigh of relief and letting go. Of giving herself what she wanted for a change. Not what her head told her was a good idea. Mark got the hint and kissed her again.